i still have so much love for you and i don’t know what to do with it or where to put it but i know hand-writing little notes and leaving them hidden in your jackets pocket or lunch pail or dashboard, compiling it into a detailed spotify playlist, sending it through a lengthy text after midnight, kissing every inch of your face your lips your eyelids the tip of your nose your jaw your chin, running my hands through your hair, placing my face in the palm of your hands, holding your hand, kissing your hand, leaning my head on your shoulder, playfully biting your shoulder, softly kissing your shoulder, curling up against your chest, hearing your heart beat and thanking God and the universe for it, praying over you while you sleep, entangling my skin with your skin until we’re all sweat and sighs and messy hair, dropping to my knees and taking you all in, laying on my side as you take me all in, picking up our favorite bottle of wine to make a night out of with, making plans in plural and future tense -- i know i can no longer store my love in any of this, so i’ll just let it rest here for a while and hope that eventually it becomes a space for its release too

Does time change us
Or do we change time?
I am still what I was yesterday
And tomorrow
Will never be the same

today i decided
you're no longer the love of my life
and i felt free

i want to love you
with my mouth open
i want to love you
without words

God truly raises the bar high for how I should love and be loved

To always love you

Remind me

To never give up on us

Remind me

That we are so much better together

More than we both know

but you don't really know how to touch me

There are tears bottled up

inside my heart for you

but i don’t want to cry

tonight or any other night.

- on keeping in and letting go.

My eyes have done this once before. Cried before I could process the why. The last time it happened was on my drive home after kissing the boy who'd go on to break my heart. I didn't know it then, but it would be the last time I'd see him. I've concluded over time that it was my heart sending my body a signal. "Tell her it's happening. Tell her he's going to bring us pain. Tell her he's going to tear us apart."

It's been two days since, and I can feel it now. You won’t be the one to see me through, you won't be the one to truly cherish my heart. You’ll come close enough, linger on the surface, but you won’t know how.

Don't **** up don't **** up don't **** up don't **** up.

  Please don't **** up on me.
  I like you so much. ****.

There, that's the poem.

The future is so uncertain
i don't know if you'll go on
to love me, grow fond of me and
embrace me for all that i am
and if you do
go on to do any
or all of these things, i don't know
for how long
Time, too, is so uncertain

and in all
of this uncertainty
i am certain
that i want it
to be You

my certain comrade
my certain love
in whatever way
in however many days
Time decides

It is You, You, You
that i am certain of.

I'm homesick for a love I've never had.

I want to learn a new language that I can forget you in.

I'm angry
I'm tired
I'm sad
I hurt

The world is emptier without you
Like something essential to living is missing
Like bread, like air, like water, like music
Like warmth, like moonlight, like wine for weekends
Like leaves on trees to keep track of seasons
Like old photographs that remind you of a once was
Of distant lovers, of faces that feel like home
Like poems, like fables, like folk tales, like movies
Like something composed of many things
That feels like everything is missing
And what's missing is you

Some days I feel like crying more than other days.
Some days I wish I was twenty-four again.

Sometimes you just need a whole lot more of a little bit of cowbell,
ya feel me?

Tus dulces labios partidos
Mis lágrimas amargas
El mar azul
La miel dorada
Tu mirada tierna
Mis pies descalzos
Semillas de granada
Luz de un nuevo amanecer
Calles anticuadas
Caricias delicadas

Todo sigue siendo lo mismo
Pero nada sabe igual que ayer

What good are you for if you don’t sit and listen to The Antlers with me? Holding my hand soft and sweet as I observe all the people and flowers and low-lights surrounding us while I cry. Valentine, make yourself useful this year. Valentine, be mine.

"I enjoyed my time being in love with you, it was dreamy and magical, in another universe, in my thoughts. Happy New Years."

Welcome to the beginning of my strange love poem.

But you were a coward afterall.

It must mean that I liked it here.

Except with words

I play with those a little

most of your favorite musicians are underrated
and I like you more for it

2.
you take your coffee with two spoons of creamer
and three spoons full of sugar, and I'd like to drink some coffee with you sometime

You love her and I cannot hold that against you.

I want your attention and I want all of it.

To dream of you and be okay for this night

I am humbled by my need of You.

I don't want anything from any one.
My heart is indifferent to every body but you.

Gonna punch you so hard
You fall in love with me

I've spent a lot of my young adult life at bookstores and coffee shops because I am lonely.

It'd be nice to be held again.

Even if they never apologized for breaking your heart

I leave the window
half-creaked open

enough to block you out
enough to let you in

Commemorate this bench in my honor when you remember me years after my death. It's where I wrote you love poems.

I would probably try talking to it.
I guess I'm a pretty lonely person.

He's a big Talking Heads fan.

I want to do it all for you
Just for you
Only you

and this song has an ending too.

I hate that you did what you did.
I miss you so much.

You are everything I haven't written poetry about yet.

I'll never know what it's like to dance with you. I'll never know what it feels like to hold your hand on a Sunday morning.

Cuando te bese, fui completamente tuya. Pero tu nunca fuiste mio, y nunca seras para mi. Y ahora que pasan los dias que se convierten en meses, que se convierten en años, hay tanto que decir y no lo dire. Que el silencio hable por mi.

I wonder if the flowers can sense how sad I am? I prefer they didn't know. I hadn't realized how common your name is until I heard it called twice today. I was caught off guard and both times stung my heart. He was a little boy, with a head full of brown hair similar to yours. I wondered if he'll go on to taint women's hearts when he's older as you have. I hoped a small prayer he won't. That he'll be better, that there will be a lightness to his name that brings comfort to the heart of the woman who loves him.

I have to start seeing myself without you

About you
Inspired by you
You've never read them
I've considered compiling them
Hand-written, blue-lined notebook paper
Slipping them in manila folder
Handing it to you
On our last encounter

Yes, I wrote poems for you
And you broke my heart

Perhaps I wrote poems for you
Because I knew you'd be the one
To break my heart

And here you are
As you started
As you'd end
With me tangled in love
And ache and poetry

I'm tired
And I miss you

No ha parado de llover
Y aun así el cielo se aclarará