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Dec 2017 · 172
Lost Souls
Arreonna Frost Dec 2017
Lost souls could not even understand that we have lost everything.
Oh, how the outrage burns me alive!
I wonder how to keep living while someone wishes many of us dead.
I wonder how beauty being scorched to dust can bear such silence as a traitor.
I can't praise war I suppose.
Perhaps many of us can't fully believe how just one problem can play the majority!
Although it is hard!
We seem to visualize that lost souls have no place else to go!
Black out poem from 10/22/16
Dec 2017 · 153
The Long Stillness
Arreonna Frost Dec 2017
She carefully vanished leaving me in awe. I could trigger her and cup my hand. She shredded symmetrical unbelievable length from bottom to rim. I watch her go slow to complete and end back at her starting point. A spectacular genetic map in her mind instructed her every step snipping her to lay down whatever was needed to finalize her creation. Then, suddenly, that has vanished, and she settled in for the long stillness.
A blackout poem I did back in January 2017.
May 2016 · 1.0k
Last Night-
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Pacing the bathroom-
wondering what can I do?
Looking for a way,
a way to harm,
a way to feel anything but pain.

Punching the concrete walls,
scraping my knuckles on the drains,
and scratching my wrists with my nails.

The voices grew louder and louder,
telling me of my deepest fears,
worries,
and regrets.

The shadows crept over me,
leaving me in the dark,
alone,
scared,
and draining the life from me.
5/18/16
What I experienced last night...
May 2016 · 643
**TRIGGERING**
Arreonna Frost May 2016
"What are you doing?" She asked with a hint of fear.
When she saw me,
all alone,
on my bed,
with tears in my eyes.

"Are you okay?" "Do you need a doctor?" She asked,
as the blood dripped down my arm,
and onto my white towel,
staining it red.

My bony thighs with the words,
'fat' engraved onto my skin.
My ribs were poking out of my stomach,
I haven't eaten in days.

"Can't you see,
see what you have done to me!" I yelled.
One move and I'll be gone-
I began to shake,
more like shivering.

Shivering from fear,
shivering from coldness,
hitting my tiny fragile bones.
One move and I'll be gone-

I push my mother out of my room,
and latch the door.
She is pounding,
pounding harder and harder,
screaming for me to let her in,
as she sobs and sobs.

Everything goes silent,
my thoughts begin to race,
and all I can hear is the beating of my heart.
I take the blade in one hand,
with a handful of pills in the other
One move and I'll be gone-

Slowly I press down,
harder and harder,
and the blood starts to pour out.
I swallow the pills,
and soon fall into a deep deep sleep.
Never to feel the pain,
ever again.

One move and I was gone.
All from a fight.
My mom finally gets the door open,
and falls to her knees.

Nothing will ever ever take back,
what she just saw.
Her daughter just laying there.
Still-
lifeless-
5/15/16 **TRIGGER WARNING**
May 2016 · 285
Have you?
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Have you ever tried so hard to just give up?
5/15/16
May 2016 · 497
A Broken Heart
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Deep inside she is in pain,
no one knows what she's hiding.
She stands outside while it rains,
so no one knows she was crying.

When I heard the news,
I swallowed my fears.
I realized your escape was not my muse,
and dried up all my tears.

Deep inside there is hope,
no one knows what she's fighting.
She stands beneath a rope,
so no one knows what she's writing.

Deep inside she is lost,
no one knows she is dying.
Her life was such a cost,
no one knows she's finally flying.

Deep inside she is gone,
her soul lost forever.
My life is now this song,
now everyone knows my life was severed.

She was me, I was her,
we finally found the light.
We are wrapped in fur,
you see, we finally won our fight.
11/17/15
May 2016 · 660
Masquerade
Arreonna Frost May 2016
I am so lonely,
watching you fade.
You aren't a phony,
our love is like a masquerade.

Our thoughts are racing,
for one another.
Our steps we are tracing,
as we become lovers.

Lost in your beat,
lost in your soul.
We seem to always be beaten,
our hearts in a hole.
2/15/16
May 2016 · 848
An Average Girl
Arreonna Frost May 2016
She was just an average girl,
in an average world,
with an average family.

She went to an average school,
with average friends,
and had average grades.

She lived in an average town,
with average stores,
and average neighbors.

She participated in average clubs,
competed in average sports,
and achieved average rewards.

She had an average boyfriend,
with an average job,
and an average truck.

She participated in average services,
competed in average races,
and achieved average ribbons.

She lived in an average community,
with average churches,
and average parks.

She went to an average library,
with average books,
and average computers.

She was just an average girl,
who wore an average smile,
while trying to averagely fit in.

You see-

She was - She went - She had -
She lived - She participated - She wore -
She achieved - She lived - She competed -

Her world was too average-
2013
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Fall is like death.
Like bipolar.
You gradually fade away,
then you are completely gone.
Falling!
Swaying in the wind,
as you hit the ground.
Brittle.
Easy to crumble.
Dying!
Your colors use to be so bright,
so vibrant,
and alive.
Joyous!
Then...
Your colors begin to fade.
One by one.
Reds,
Oranges,
Yellows,
then browns...
Your life is now dull,
brittle,
fragile,
and dead...
like the colors of the leaves.
Face it,
you are dying inside.
Fading away.
Piece by piece.
You eventually,
come back.
Slowy begin to grow,
and get your color.
Your vibrant colors...
You feel on top of the world,
for a short while.
But...
All it takes,
is that down state,
to go crumbling,
to the ground again.
To die,
and fade away....
November 2015
May 2016 · 445
Hannah
Arreonna Frost May 2016
By: Arreonna Frost (me)

Prologue

“No, Please?” She sobs, “No!” Screams through the air.
I close my eyes and think of all the good times we had together, before he turned into a monster. My thoughts are interrupted when the front door slams and all of the knick knacks in my room begin to shake. I shudder. Glass shatters and falls to the floor as of if it were a waterfall, as my mother screams an ear piercing scream.

My eyes fly open and I realize that I have been crying. My yellow walls glow back at me as the star stickers in a starry night pattern hint off a neon yellow, as they glow in the dark. I hug my purple polka dot bear close to me and begin to cradle her.

My mother left my door open a crack again, like she does every night and a long stretch of light creeps across my floor, almost reaching for my slippers at the foot of my bed. On my night stand to the right of my bed, I turn off my green lava lamp and roll over so I face the window.

The glowing of the white moon that almost looks yellow reflects off of my cheeks, hinting to anyone nearby that I have been crying. As goosebumps slither up my arm from the chill of the window, I wrap the sparkly green butterfly quilt my mother made for my 6th birthday tighter around me. I then plug my ears, silencing the noise the best I can.
“No! No!  She screams louder. “Please! God please! Please save my baby!”
“Shut-up!” He screams back. “Nobody will hear you, no one at all!” Echoes his evil laugh against the old walls. “Were in the middle of nowhere you no for good ***** **!”
“Please! Please! Please!” She silently sobs to herself.

As I am eager to be down there and witness what is happening, I roll back over on my side, throw the blanket off of me, and to the side. My feet fall to the floor silently as I slip them into my slippers. Walking towards my door I look at the floor carefully, as of to not make a sound.

My door slowly creaked open as the light fills my room eagerly. I stop in my tracks as the front door slams shut. Holding my breath I begin to cry; feeling scared, sad, and lonely. A chill nips at my bare legs and I yank my yellow silk nightgown down my legs some more.

When I reach the top of the stairs and about to slowly go down, I examine my surroundings and see our family portrait to my right. The gold frame is what really made the picture stand out against our white walls. Mother looks younger and prettier, her eyes don’t have bags underneath like she does now. Her long brown curly hair flows down and off of her shoulders almost reaching her elbows. I notice her bright white smile and how happy she looks while she is hugging her 6 month pregnant belly. While holding me close her blue eyes sparkle back at me, so alive and adventurous.

Like the usual my father looks like he is staring right through the camera instead of at the camera. He has never once smiled or even shown a sign of happiness, not even in public. The blue flannel shirt has a tear by his elbow and the top two buttons are unbuttoned. My favorite blue dress brings out my big brown eyes as I also smile into the camera.

My brown hair wasn't quite as long as my mothers but my brown curls also flow onto my shoulders. My high cheek bones stick out from the glare of the flash. This picture was taken a few years ago. Taken before my little rugrat of a brother was born. He is now three years old and very annoying, especially when he gets his way every time he cries.

The door slams shut again as I jumped startled again and snap out of the memory. The wooden stairs are slippery beneath me as the fabric from my slippers does not give me traction. The railing is what gives me support as I slowly creep down the stairs trying not to make a sound down our ancient steps. Tears slowly fall down my cheeks again, leaving behind a damp trail, once I reach the bottom. Pulling my nightgown down some more, I reach their bedroom to my left. The door was already left slightly open as the light creeps into the hall. Pushing the door open more, just enough so I can see, mother is on the floor holding Joseph in his blue Spider man blanket.

Josephs blonde hair sticks out of the top blanket, all knotted together. Mother is weeping into my personal favorite nightgown of hers. The blue silk always made mother beautiful, especially against her skin and brown hair. I see that father is holding a Budweiser in his left hand and his rifle in the other.

In the far back left corner, fathers stained nook has several beer cans and bottles piled on top of each other, some even spilling onto the ground. As father raises the rifle off the floor I gasp and take a step back not cautious of the creaky floors. When the floor does let out a long creek all I can do is my hold my breath, and pray that he doesn't notice my presence as his dark heartless eyes beat right through me.

The muscles in his hairy arms tense up as the rifle lowers back down and rests on the floor. I notice mother looking at me as she slowly slides to the window. His focus is now away from the door but back solely on mother, as his attention goes away from this dark pit I slowly step closer to the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rolls off of the tip of his tongue like he’s getting woozy. He then pulls Joseph out her tiny fragile hands. As he sets Joseph down in his handmade wooden crib, mother cries harder.

"N-nothing", stutters through the air, "I was just getting Joseph’s other blanket since he was cold", she bluffs.

I just now realize that the window is open and I was her hope of escaping. Now I wish he was still focused on me. I slowly fall to my knees and kick them to the side, so i’m sitting how  a princess would sit in a gown on the ground. The cold tile floor numbs my knees sending more chills up my body.

I scooch more to the right so I am in almost the same position as earlier when I saw fathers nook. Searching the area of the room I find Joseph near the corner nook under his blanket. I actually feel sorry and worried for Joseph for once. Father raises the black 22-Caliber pistol when mother stifles another cry. Worried to be noticed I crawl back into the dark.

"Please", she barely whispers as she lays down covering her face. "I love you, thought you loved me. Please."

The sound of the gunshot rings in my ears.
This is a sneak peak at my book. I would love any comments or suggestions. Honesty is the best. Thank you.
May 2016 · 656
My Depression
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Sitting, staring, suffocating
always feeling so alone.
Words echo in your head
haunting memories tantalize.
Always feeling nervous
or to self-conscious.
Worried of what others think
and say about you.
Words hurt and ****
seeming everytime you get
back up.
You get knocked down.
Again!
Eventually it starts to hurt
especially when your family
joins in.
I seek help!
Calling!
Shouting!
Crying out!
But no one listens
or helps...
When I eventully do get help
it seems like they never listen
or care.
But when they do start caring
i get back stabbed.
Thought I could trust them…
They say they understand
But they dont!
Never will!
Until they experience it for themselves.
Feeling so alone
scared and helpless and alone
laying on the floor
as the blood trickles down
down
down
Seeming it wont stop
But eventually it does.
Thoughts so vile enter my mind
and thats when i cry
letting it out
After years of holding it in
No one understands.
Will ever understand.
Suicide and the knife
Was calling my name…
But i dont seek the courage
and that makes me cry harder.
Thats when i find myself falling asleep
Deeper
Deeper
into the nightmares that taunt me.
Of being *****
Sexually abused
Physically abused
Emotionally abused
Bullied…
I just couldnt take it anymore.
No longer without my sister,
my best friend for life
who died in my arms earlier on.
So much blood
So
So much blood.
It wouldnt stop
wouldnt stop!
Ive lost so much courage
Thought i was strong.
Cant take it anymore.
life is hell
Judgemental
Misfits.
I dont belong
And never will.
Am i good enough?
No im not!
I use to be able to ignore it
use to
but its hard
Easier said than done.
From the time i wake up
Til i go to bed
It follows me
Like a lost puppy.
Im lost in hope
without friends
Or family
Or a mother.
just a father who took me
away from my mother
Cause cps came and
took me away
From my mommy.
i was scared
Confused
Didnt know what she was doing to me
Was wrong.
I was so young
still coping with the loss
Of my grandmother
And my dog
Who were killed right in front of me.
i didnt know any better.
Was so little and frail
And young.
But the past doesnt matter anymore
Or the present
only the future…
Depression
depression
Depression
deep in my bones
And my veins
And feel it in my pulse
And the beat of my heart.
adrenaline kicks in.
More crying
And feeling alone.
Always shuting the outside world
Out!
Not letting any one in
To see the real me
Cause shes gone
its hard to find her
wish i could find her.
Shes lost
like i am now
Always eating to much
or going days without eating.
Too much or too little sleep.
always exhausted.
2014
May 2016 · 257
The Lonely
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Alone, tired, scarred,
never knowing how to feel.
Always feel like i'm being watched,
or maybe being followed.

Senses! Senses i have never felt before.
Eyes open wider!
When I am alone i don't know what to feel,
what to feel besides rejection.

Longing for his touch,
Just one touch,
just that one touch will bring comfort.
Craving those words,
those words that bring hop and love,
and make me believe i am the most beautiful,
and most special girl in the entire world.
Making me feel loved,
that i am the only girl in the world.
And his arms,
those arms that make the world stop for just a moment.
Bringing safety.

But he's gone!
Gone!
Gone before your eyes.
An illusion.
Here one minute, gone the next.
Left your life as quickly as he came in.
Blaming god,
Blaming everyone for my mistake,
our mistake.
Although I am not ashamed.
I love him and always will no matter what!

Forgive?
What does that word even mean?
It has no meaning to me anymore.
I will never forgive those who took him away from me!
Although I do have a future to look forward to,
after school he will be in it.
No one will tell me different.
No one can control me anymore.

Suicide!? Cutting!? Depression!?
Al bring back a haunting past,
but I fear its all coming back.
Especially now that hes gone.

Alone!
So alone without him.
Needing!
Wanting him!
Wanting my other half!

Mood changes, lower appetite,
No sleep, depression,
Anger, tired, weak.
All feelings of being unloved and alone.

I hear them though.
Hear them in the night.
Ghosts that haunt my past,
And my so called guardians who say they care,
But talk bad about me and my mistakes.
My mistakes!
They should just let me deal with my own mistakes,
Let me learn from them on my own!
2014
May 2016 · 187
Wishful
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Wishful
I wish I could cut.
It is like an addiction.
Like you are addicted to drugs-
I wish I could die.
I'm so ashamed,
sad,
hurt,
used,
stressed-
Never to be the same.
I will never be able to forgive myself-
For what I have done to many loved ones-
I am sorry for all the lies-
I feel ugly,
fat,
worthless-
The voices are getting LOUDER!
GO AWAY!
GO!
I need to cut, need to die-
Need to sleep, get away from everything.
Dream of what I want-
What I need-
What I long for-
2015
May 2016 · 502
Cope
Arreonna Frost May 2016
How do you cope?
Always being knocked down
Once you get right back up.
Life is like a merry go round.
Always spinning
And never ending.
Taking you in the same path
Over and over and over again!
Doesn't it get old after a while?
Seem like once we finally found a way out
Or even a solution
We have to start all over again.
That's one of the great tests of life
Some point everyone has to start over
At least once
Spinning
Circling
Going round and round
Never knowing when to end.
Wishing you knew how to stop this
Merry go round.
Always being put down by others
How do you cope?
Fear
How do you cope?
Anger
How do you cope?
Stress
How do you cope?
Depression
How do you cope?
As you spin round and round.
Life is a ride.
It does end
But your way put right back on
Every turn, hill, and corner
Is thrown at you
How do you cope?
6/6/14
May 2016 · 275
Special...
Arreonna Frost May 2016
To everyone she seems pretty lame,
laying on the ground, not enjoying the fame.
Today is the day that the girl tripped and fell,
she is the laughing stalk, the one that sells.
She was tripped by the bully, her stuff on the floor,
oh, how she wished she could run out that door.
She doesn't know that someone actually cares,
but all that he does is stare.
When the girl fell,
he saw it well.
It was all like she goes a walking,
and somebody's stalking.
He comes up behind her, and made her fall,
they all laughed as she hit the wall.
It was all like she falls down,
and a giant frown,
comes upon her face,
oh, what a disgrace.
She wonders what she did to them,
why they all hate her?
All but one...
and that's the one special boy who cares.
The one boy walks up,
catching a glimpse closeup.
She welcomes him in,
as her world is somehow thinning.
His voice whispers insidious,
making her feel hideous.
Oh how the pain is somehow baring,
he lied about caring.
When the girl fell,
he saw it well.
It was all like she goes a walking,
and somebody's stalking.
He comes up behind her, and made her fall,
they all laughed as she hit the wall.
It was all like she falls down,
and a giant frown,
comes upon her face,
oh, what a disgrace.
She wonders what she did to them,
why they all hate her?
All but one...
and that's the one special boy who cares.
Everyone thinks she is crazy,
her life is all hazy.
Everyone stays away,
oh, how she prays.
She's talking to her demons,
how she wished she was dreaming.
The boy isn't here,
wishing she could just disappear.
Engulfed in her own presence,
she wishes she learned a lesson.
The demons fill her head with thoughts,
tying her stomach into knots.
Filling her head with sights,
that only come when she's alone at night,
They tell her of her dreams,
life isn't as it seems.
When the girl fell,
he saw it well.
It was all like she goes a walking,
and somebody's stalking.
He comes up behind her, and made her fall,
they all laughed as she hit the wall.
It was all like she falls down,
and a giant frown,
comes upon her face,
oh, what a disgrace.
She wonders what she did to them,
why they all hate her?
All but one-
and that's the one special boy who cares.
But the sad thing is-
He's just her imagination-
Summer 2012
May 2016 · 760
Who is she?
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Who is she
with the brown hair
and blue eyes?

Who is she
whose mind is full of demons
and thighs with a gap?

Who is she
whose always leaning
and cutting up her lap?

Who is she
with the clothes full of tares
and who always dies?

Who is she
whose life is never seeming
and always a game of tap?

Who is she
with the life that isn't so fare
and all the staring guys?

Who is she
whose always screaming
with emotions like a map?

Who is she?

-She is you reflection-
4/1/16
May 2016 · 499
Dakota
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Why? Why did you have to lie?
Leaving me with nothing but a sigh!
Can't you see you killing me?
Why can't your memory just leave?
Your words taunt me!
Your actions haunt me!

I remember your laugh,
and that you were my other half!
We liked the same bands,
and you were always there to hold my hand.
You were hard as a rock,
keeping my emotions inside and locked!

You got what you wanted,
leaving me eternally haunted!
I thought what we had was real,
but you just had me reeled!
All the secrets we've shared,
and playing with your hair.

Your lips were soft,
keeping me high as a loft.
I tried and tried,
but you never tried!
I cried and cried,
but you never cried!

You got her prego,
leaving me in pieces like legos.
You were an open book,
oh how you had me hooked.
Those eyes like glitter,
and that smile was a killer!

You're a user,
nothing but a loser.
I always saw through your games,
never giving you the fame.
Here I am with a pen,
remembering the tenth!

The day you felt me,
the day you loved me!
You always got what you wanted from me,
and from the other girls as well I see.
You left me for her,
with the nice jeans and boots of fur.

I unlocked my heart and threw away your key,
you stung me like a bee!
Leaving me with a deep ache,
and a strong feeling of hate.

I remember the day I lied,
and I wanted to hide!
But I couldn't lose you,
loose me because of you!

I pretended to be an expected mother,
so you'd still be my lover!
The kids laughed, whispered, and stared,
making me wish I never shared.

I was so shattered,
but it's not like I mattered.
You think of only you,
and her too!

I remember how low you sang notes,
and all of our love notes.
Thanks to all of your lies,
I now within say goodbye!
3/25/16
May 2016 · 4.0k
Dear Dad
Arreonna Frost May 2016
You left me with an ache,
leaving me in the past, dwelling.
You always made me feel fake,
leaving me locked up inside a shell.

You were always there to make sure I was awake,
leaving me exhausted, yelling.
You always made me feel like a mistake,
leaving me hypnotized inside of a spell.

You left me playing your games,
leaving me always a loser, broke.
You always kept me locked up inside a frame,
leaving me inside all alone to choke.

You were always making me drown,
leaving me stalling, delaying.
You always kept me down,
leaving me more and more than just today.

You left me with a frown,
leaving me in pain, in shame.
You always made me keep the crown,
leaving me to never enjoy the fame.

You were always their joking,
leaving me in pain, beaten.
You always made me choke,
leaving me with anything but a treat.

You left me pleating,
leaving me confused, sad.
You always made me cheat,
leaving me with an impression of bad.

You were always there to make me mad,
leaving me fighting, tight.
You always kept me anything but glad,
leaving me more and more in a fright.

You left me always lacking,
leaving me frightened, fighting.
You always made my world blacken,
leaving me all alone in the night.
4/17/16
May 2016 · 229
Anxiety
Arreonna Frost May 2016
Anxiety runs through my veins,
wishing I could just feel the pain.
Of the way it controls me,
and uses me, you see.

The way it takes over my life,
cutting me deep like my knife.
This high I am feeling,
messes with all of my feelings.

I first feel nothing but shame,
but in the end, I'm the one to always blame.
This fight I have been fighting,
leaves me frightened..

Seems as once I blink,
my life seems to somehow shrink.
All the lies I have sold,
leaving me alone and cold.

This feeling I feel is like a ride,
making me want to hide.
Not only from myself, but others,
hurting all of my lovers.
5/7/16
May 2016 · 507
Monique
Arreonna Frost May 2016
I once met a girl-
who loved to draw.
Inside of her drawings-
were mysterious worlds.

I once met a girl-
who loved music with a passion.
Her songs consisted of-
dark lyrics and stories.

I once met a girl-
who found relief in smoking.
Which brought her a high-
that no one could ever replace.

I once met a girl-
who depended on her friends.
Costing her, her innocence-
making her more insecure.

I once met a girl-
who lived her deepest fears.
Making her stronger-
making her independent.
Written for a friend who I met in foster care on 5/12/16.
Apr 2016 · 234
Aching...
Arreonna Frost Apr 2016
My heart is aching,
missing you is so sad.
I am slowly breaking,
it's making me go mad.

I keep thinking of you,
in my dreams I see.
All I do is lose,
only you and me.

The day you left,
was all my fault.
I eternally slept,
and started to halt.

My body is shutting down,
I can't forget you.
Thinking of you makes me frown,
knowing we can no longer be two.

Although we ended rough,
I try to be strong.
Oh It's so tough,
I must always be wrong.

I am no longer whole,
please don't leave again.
My heart you stole,
in the end.

I now believe you were fake,
I knew you would bail.
This was all a mistake,
leaving me pale.

Although you love to fight,
late at night.
You give me such a fright,
I sit down to write.

I am always feeling bare skin,
you were nothing but a lie.
Just wishing i could hide within,
I now say goodbye.
12/23/15
Apr 2016 · 5.4k
The Prom Dance...
Arreonna Frost Apr 2016
Dizzy, twirling, spinning
Holding your partner closely.
Loud music.
Booming, pounding, rumbling,
Vibrating beneath your feet.
Your friends all gather,
Laughing, giggling, talking,
Having a great time.
Lights disco *****, strobes, everything you could imagine.
Glitter, confetti, sparkles.
Dizzy, twirling, spinning
Faster and faster.
Screaming, shouting, crying,
Coughing, choking, crackling,
Can’t breathe! Smoke fills the air, flames arise,
Beamers falling.
Their worst nightmare!
8/24/14
Apr 2016 · 1.5k
Your Embrace
Arreonna Frost Apr 2016
Your arms,
Entangled around me.
Your embrace,
strong , comforting.
Not wanting to let go,
Your warmth entangles around me

Your arms,
Entangled around me.
Your embrace,
Weak, longing.
Holding on tighter,
Your heart skips a beat.

Your arms,
Held around me.
Still, lifeless.
Holding you one last time.
Your cold, pale.
Your warmth no longer entangles around me.
9/30/14
Apr 2016 · 2.1k
Try?
Arreonna Frost Apr 2016
“Why can’t you smile?”
That’s what she asked me when she saw me hiding.
All alone in the corner,
Skipping another meal.
“Can you at least try to eat?”
I looked away, she didn’t know.
I was dying inside, about to break
With no way of fixing me.
I… try to hide, smile
But… I can’t.
Breathing hard I tell her
“I can’t.” “Not now!”
Spring 2014
Apr 2016 · 212
Numb
Arreonna Frost Apr 2016
I’m so numb, emotions,
welling up inside of me,
choking me, as I gasp for air,
holding the tears back.
Pain creeps up the back of my throat,
a sob is all that escapes.
Wanting to cry,
craving for the warm tears,
to trickle down my face,
and onto my pillow.
To leave a sign or even a trace,
of my pain.
But all I have is anger,
anger welled up inside of me.
I don’t know how to approach this,
how to fix it,
how to make me feel better.
Only one thing,
ends up working.
I’m so numb!
Takes the pain away,
makes me forget,
for just a few seconds.
And the scars will forever haunt me,
of my pain and anger.
Cutting, carving,
deeper and deeper,
wanting more blood to just trickle down,
down,
down, my arm.
The funny things is,
a laugh escapes.
It doesn’t hurt,
I cant feel the blade,
making me go deeper and deeper.
But when my arms are covered,
and I run out of room,
it all comes back.
The pain, heartache, and misery!
All being thrown at me in an instant.
Long sleeves become my friend,
and my family becomes the enemy.
What if they find out?
What if they see?
What will happen?
When I am cut,
all of those worries go away.
All of the pain,
all of my question,
and all of my anger.
I’m so numb!
Becoming heavy,
my eyes begin to close.
I stare into the black abyss of my heart,
soul, and mind.
Bringing me comfort,
as it all comes back.
Wanting to find more spots,
to make it all go away.
Wanting to cry and wanting to feel.
But…it’s too late.
I’ve held it all in too long.
I’m so numb!
11/12/14
Apr 2016 · 141
I...
Arreonna Frost Apr 2016
I hate
I want
I need
I love
I lust
I drown
I cry
I laugh
But I can’t be harmed…
I help
I cringe
I feel
But i am just me…
So…
You cry
Feel
Hate
Want
Love
Lust
So…
Why am I different?
September 2015
Apr 2016 · 795
An Average Girl...
Arreonna Frost Apr 2016
She was just an average girl,
in an average world,
with an average family.

She went to an average school,
with average friends,
and had average grades.

She lived in a small average town,
with average stores,
and average neighbors.

She participated in average clubs,
competed in average sports,
and achieved average awards.

She had an average boyfriend,
with an average job,
and an average truck.

She participated in average services,
competed in average races,
and achieved average ribbons .

She lived in a small average community,
with average churches,
and average parks.

She went to an average library,
with average books,
and average computers.

She was just an average girl,
who wore an average smile,
while trying to averagely fit in.

You see…

She was… She went… She had…
She lived… She participated… She achieved…
She competed… She lived… She wore…

Her world was to average…
2013
Apr 2016 · 237
A Broken Heart
Arreonna Frost Apr 2016
Deep inside she is in pain,
no one knows what she's hiding.
She stands outside while it rains,
so no one knows she was crying.

When I heard the news,
I swallowed my fears.
I realized your escape was not my muse,
and dried up all my tears.

Deep inside there is hope,
no one knows what she's fighting.
She stands beneath a rope,
so no one knows what she's writing.

Deep inside she is lost,
no one knows she is dying.
Her life was such a cost,
no one knows she's finally flying.

Deep inside she is gone,
her soul lost forever.
My life is now this song,
now everyone knows my life was severed.

She was me, I was her,
we finally found the light.
We are wrapped in fur,
you see, we finally won our fight.
11/17/15

— The End —