I write because of her
but
I also write to forget **her

What do you do when your  best  just isn't enough?

When he asked her
What made her do it,
what pushed her
to such a dark place

The well of excuses
she had used a thousand
dried up from her lips
ground to a halt

“It was the only way to feel good,
an addiction I couldn't help
I needed to do something.”
But nothing she said could fix her mistakes

Under his loving eyes
she squirmed in her nightgown
thin fabric hiding the
scars of a not so distant past

“I don’t understand, why would you
hurt yourself so much?” His words hit her
and her guilt bubbled up
black anger and black words.

“It’s not a big deal.
It’s over. I’ll never do it again.
Keep out of my business.” And the
conversation closed.

But demons are not so easily slayed
and fears, the all consuming
darkness, not so easily
assuaged.

Three weeks he was gone,
not to be back till the sixth
and yet on the fifth late in the night he came
three white roses in hand

ruby red lines painted
her thighs, guilty tears
painted her forced smile
Bad timing or good?

She knew he would yell
He couldn’t understand, wouldn’t understand
blame he had yet to lay
hands clinched for rejection

But he pulled her close
suit soaking up the red
absorbing her pain
clinging to her desperately

“I don’t want to lose you.”
voice raw with love
“I don’t understand, so
help me too”

It was enough for her.
The wall she hand built with such bitter care
shattered, she shook
crying past temptations away

hours wanned, he treated
her wounds, wound up with her on
white sheets, tangled together,
holding her as she spoak

Baring her soul to her swain
she talked until her voice was raw
until the stars faded, and her
burden was lighter than she had thought possible

And after that night
two become closer, every jagged edge
known by the other. They lived for each other
breathed for another

Another time, she could pull herself out of bed
she could open her eyes
and wonder, with that elusive curiosity,
what the day would show her

And the darkness of that endless night
could not push through
the twining of their limbs
and the knotting of their souls

Mournful lit of the foggy morn;
Melancholy whisper of the brighten moon,
Told me one night not to be what the world made me to
But... the puckered heart didn't hear what they said
And, I wandered all ov'r the night don't know what i'm going through

Now the mind wants to be empty;
wanna lit every thing into ashes that it played with
It had a great time with "time", plenty
but, it's  became an old-fashioned-historical myth

The whisper or sounds—A sweet melodic chaunt of birds;
A poet's poetic shades on entangled words,
Touched a beautiful young lady's soul
whose life got painted on colors
but the beauty made the world to kiss up what the poet discovered.

But you're nothing more than an insomniac, focused entirely on the things you lack. You muse you dream but in the end you slack and you have no one but yourself to thank for that.
The sun beckons but you ignore its calls, deafened by your worries and the doubt that stalls, all you want to do and what you hope to be, the hope that lifts you up momentarily, before the clouds impair your sight and the sun now too close appears to bleed light that has now become too bright
and just like Icarus hope gets burnt and falls back down to the ground where now it crawls.
You try to lift yourself up and stare warily at those around you and try to see,
what it is they possess that you don't have but you are filled with nothing but jealousy.
The sun is not for you is what you decide so the darkness is where you now reside. You wonder if from your mind you will ever be free.
I guess not, cause your mind belongs to me.

Something's not right
I can't sleep at night
Dread at the pit of my stomach
Doubts, all stack on the rack.

In my mind, alarm bells ring
my heart knotted with strings
Whispers that you are not one,
That I should get away and run.

Turn back before I am left with nothing
or continue the free fall of uncertainty
My soul constantly screams for liberty,
at your mercy, I refuse to be.