i am standing in front of a mirror painting my face so as to cover up the hollowness inside
like my long sleeves cover up trails of sadness covering my wrists

She was an abandoned city
Deserted homes, burnt bridges, empty roads—
A jar of ashes, of stories, of memories
A sanctuary for the forgotten ones

There is a tornado within me
Stealing my breath and polluting my lungs
My emotions raging like a wildfire
Destroying everything in its path
Leaving mass destruction and hate
Ash filling the once beautiful lively field
That was my heart and soul
Rain falling from my sad closed eyes
Enough to drown me and envelop me
A thunderstorm logged in my throat
Threatening to escape and bark
I have to keep it together
I cannot let you see me fall against myself
So all you see is the sunshine
The bird's chirps escaping my lips
Sweet talking about love and happiness
I am afloat on a soft white pillow
But sometimes my cloud changes color
It roars and a storm is released
A flood rushing in to drown my emotions
This is anger and sorrow
Like hot and cold when it forms a tornado
Giving anger a cigarette
A puff of smoke to release it all
Giving anger a bottle of whiskey
A shot to drown it all
I try and contain my thunderous emotions
But sometimes a sob escapes wanting more
I try and fake a smile to lead you on that everything is okay
But sometimes my thoughts curl around my heart
I am a whirlwind of emotions released and contained
I will let you see my happiest thoughts and memories
I will spread them like dandelion seeds
But there is a closed and caged door that no one knows about
All the haunting and horrifying thoughts and emotions
I will always hide and contain the demons.

Whenever I think of you
My world changes into reality
I feel so great, I feel so high
I feel so elevated, I feel spirited

I feel conquered, I feel stable
I feel stumbled with people to attention
I don't have time for anything anyone
Onlything that I can recall is you

When I play music I enjoy the most,
Because all to feel is you whispering on my ears
With that soul classic song and deep house jam
Baby girl you no longer have to lie about us

Everytime I'm sitting all alone,
I noticed your name written in capital letters
right through me, my woe heart wave
I cuddle alone everyday hopping you in my arms

Baby girl come home, come home to husby
Stop denying the truth
Listen to your heart not friend
She's trying to derail you so she get first

But I made a promise to my heart
Though I won't be waiting any longer,
Baby come home you all that I'm living for
I feel so secure everytime I think of you

COME HOME

In fear of making the wrong choice,
I refuse to choose

To protect myself from getting hurt,
I avoid the situation completely

To stop myself from picking you,
I  run from you

I'm too afraid to try to love you,
In fear of you not loving me.