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Arianna Abrams Sep 2015
Ugly
The way that I feel
When I look in the mirror
Is the way one feels
Remembering an embarrassment
From the past
Gut clenched and air
Caught in my throat
I feel as though
I accidentally wore
My skin inside out
Or tore
A hole in a revealing place
The look on my face
Isn't even shame
It's just disgrace
And when men look at me
And call me beautiful
I feel like nothing
But a faceless tool
If I believe them I'm
Just a fool
Just a fool
It's sad because
I'm not jealous of
Beautiful girls
No I love them too
And think of how much you
Would like to love them too
Remark on their
Skin
And bodies how
Perfect
And I'll agree
Then look and see
Shake my head and
Disagree
No
That's not me
When I see myself
I'm ugly
No makeup
Can cover up the way
We feel inside
And every now and then
It hurts too much to hide
I know they say it's the inside that counts
But it's the inside looking out
Not the outside looking in
And all I see is shattered little
Insecurity
So when I look at me
I'm ugly
Arianna Abrams Jul 2015
We were like tomato soup and grilled cheese. It's simple, and easy, and everyone knows how to do it, but not everyone gets it right. Sometimes they burn the edges, or maybe by the time one is cooked, the other is cold and you have to try again. But they go together, in the end. They make sense. It's reliable,  tomato soup and grilled cheese. You can have a thousand fancy dinners, with wine and caviar. Whisper sweet nothings in the darkness of a bar. Fleeting, flaky meals are these. But I guarantee, when you think of me, it'll be tomato soup and grilled cheese. And oh, how happy that makes me.
Arianna Abrams Jul 2015
Cherish all your wasted time
It's time you spend as you
I see it in your smile
If you only knew

You waste your time
On games and work
And just being here
Maybe with these words
I can make it clear

The games you play
Being someone else
You think is stronger
Better, something more
Than you'll ever be
That's not a waste of time
You'll see

You waste your time
Pressing buttons and keys
But all that time
Though wasted seems
Defines the man
That you want to be

And when you take the masks away
Come back to reality
Hands ticking in your mind lurk
Counting down to when you work

Though that time
You fear
Is time that anchors
You here

Think rather of that uniform
Those black slacks
Blue button up
As your costume
Your mask behind which
You save a little part
Of your little world

You might not become
The Arkham Knight
Or Iron Man
But as far as I can see
Between you and me
You try hard as you can

If not to be a hero
Then just a better man

It's not a waste of time
Saving everyone else
But maybe just once
Save some time for yourself

For now, my carciofino
Broken superhero
Cherish your wasted time
With me


When the sun yawns awake
You won't open your eyes
You'll just hold me closer

And we'll both waste our time
Arianna Abrams Jul 2015
I hope she's beautiful
When you find her
And not just on the outside
I hope she makes you smile
When you look into her eyes
And that she loves you
The way you couldn't love me
I hope she's funny
Because your smile
When you laugh
Is one of the wonders
Of this world
I hope she appreciates
All the little things
Like how you snore at night
The way your eyes crinkle
Nose scrunched
When you smile hard at her
Hold her hand proud
And show her to the world
I hope she fits in your arms
The way I used to
In your little bed
Your foreheads touching
And her heartbeat
Matches yours
I hope she smiles at
The little noises
You make when you're so happy
You can't control yourself
The uncontained joy
I felt looking at you
I hope she returns
The hugs that hold her deep
And I hope that she can keep
That heart I never could
I hope she never cheats
God knows I never would
I hope she's beautiful
The way I'm not
I hope she makes your heart race
I hope you find love
I hope you find your place
Arianna Abrams Jul 2015
He shatters me. Like a wine glass on a marble floor, the delicate fragments left for someone lower to retrieve. So disdainfully, unknowingly, like breathing he takes me in and then expels me without noticing. And I stand before him with my heart open, beating, bleeding, in my outstretched hand and he will take it, examine it, put it back. Shopping for hearts and can't decide which best suits today's mood. One day it's mine, my true and daring love, the next he settles for a one night ****. And they say I deserve better, and to be true, I probably do. But in the shadow of every word he harshens is the bruise of a broken heart. Someone took that sideways grin of his and turned it all to sadness, the honest beating of his heart has turned all black with malice. And I'll wait patiently for time to heal the wounds he has been dealt, but with time comes pain, and pieces of me are breaking at the seams. He's shattered. But just maybe, the shattered pieces of us will linger and time will craft from our glittering madness a beautiful mosaic.
Patient shattered heart
Waiting for your caresses
Take me in your arms
Arianna Abrams Jul 2015
I hope she's beautiful
When you find her
And not just on the outside
I hope she makes you smile
When you look into her eyes
And that she loves you
The way you couldn't love me
I hope she's funny
Because your smile
When you laugh
Is one of the wonders
Of this world
I hope she appreciates
All the little things
Like how you snore at night
The way your eyes crinkle
Your taste in music
The way
Your hips sway
When you've had a drink or two
And the Spanish music plays
I hope she fits in your arms
The way I used to
In your little twin bed
Your foreheads touching
And her heartbeat
Matches yours
I hope she smiles at
The little noises
You make when you're so happy
You can't control yourself
The uncontained joy
I felt looking at you
I hope she returns
The hugs that hold her deep
And I hope that she can keep
That heart I never could
I hope she never cheats
God knows I never would
I hope she's beautiful
The way I'm not
I hope she makes your heart race
I hope you find love
I hope you find your place
Arianna Abrams Jul 2015
I stopped drinking
A month ago
Because the whiskey
Tasted bitter
Like your name
On my tongue
I used to take you in
Despite the pain
In doses so high
To get me drunk on you
But now the burning
Is too much to take
And I know that feeling
Was fake
It was all an illusion
You were my drug
Withdrawls are whispering
In the latest hours
Moving my heart to your side
Again
Tearing gently
Memories like a cat kneading
Needing you
Needing you
But I can't take
You again
The sound of your name
Makes me sick
The scent of spilled shots
Like my heart on your floor
Heavy it settles in my stomach
Instead
And I'm seeing now
That you were never good for me
A poison in my veins
That I craved to be the cure
I see that I just hurt myself
Your love wasn't pure
Now neither am I
But I've been sober for a while
I've learned my lesson
You left your scar
I see you for what you are
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