.
.
.
.


I know you really hate me right now
and we haven't spoke for awhile, but
wherever you are right now
I can feel you fading away
and I tried to text you, but
every time I do
I'm completely
overcome by this
vague sense of terror
tightening my airways just enough
to make me really take notice
and making my heart pound
all the way in my throat
so I am powerless to reach you
but whatever you're doing
with your Saturday night
I just really hope you're safe
I never meant
for things
to turn out
this way

.
.
.

When I think of you,
I can't help but think about


your sleepy voice
telling me "good morning"

the way you took my dogs in
and spoiled them like your own

the way you calmed my fears
and beat my demons into submission

the way your skin always radiated
a warm, angelic glow

the way you fought for me
til you had nothing for yourself

the way you loved me so hard
you almost had me loving myself

the way you built me up so high
to knock me down later

but most importantly,
when I think of you
I can't help but think
of all those last chances you gave me

you were the best thing
that ever happened to me

I thought that I was finally strong enough
to make it without you, but I'm afraid
I've fallen back into that same hole
that you pulled me out of and

I need you

just like I always did
when I felt myself
losing control

where have you gone?

I searched
the familiar places
but I can't find a sign of you anywhere

why did you leave me?

you knew I couldn't make it on my own
just like when I left all those times
I knew you needed me