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Nov 2021 · 719
Saturday night
Aravind Shanavaz Nov 2021
Saturday night
The endless pondering of Fridays,
Spills into the late night.
Precious time lost,
Losing light.

While the city is in love,
People on the street corners,
Friends, lovers and everything in between.
Here I am on my work week,
Waiting for the 8th day.

Stay with me but no,
Things I wish were said comes back to me.
A burst of tears and laughter,
Trying to douse the loud sirens in my head.

Lost on me,
Todays society.
Unending conversations,
Quotes and notations,
A web of scattered nullity,
Clouds all over my senses.

Here lies.
#loneliness #nights #depression #exclusion #love #time
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Aug 2020 · 452
An answer to a curse.
Aravind Shanavaz Aug 2020
An answer to a curse.
Something less than desirable.
The face of truth is ugly.
Uniqueness is dead.

Never desire a thing above.
Such a sin don't you dare.
Just unworthy of anything.

A 19 year old curse.
Going for a lifetime.
All thats left to decide,
A rope or a blade.
#suicide #desire #cursed #life #hate #death #die #feeling #depression
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May 2020 · 254
A Lazarus Plot
Aravind Shanavaz May 2020
A Lazarus Plot
The path is getting blurry,
My words are slurry.

Lazarus plot imminent,
Have to be diligent.

My mind has been flayed,
My soul slayed.
#mind #vision #lazarus #soul #hurting #broken #alone
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Apr 2020 · 196
Stay
Aravind Shanavaz Apr 2020
Stay
Fill this void,
In my life.
Reach into my heart.
Calm me down.
Stand by me,
Until the dawn.
Stay with me,
Until the end.
#void #life #stay #alone
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Apr 2020 · 168
The Light
Aravind Shanavaz Apr 2020
The Light
The Light now diminished,
Time of day turned to dusk.
Dark days ahead,
Crying by myself.

I’ve lost my sunlight,
To the moon among the stars,
She stole that light,
That made my day bright.

All is lost but darkness,
The void in my heart.
Pitch black is the core,
Where the light doesn’t shine anymore.

I deserve the light,
For years I’ve spent in darkness.
The light that gave me life,
New horizons to look upon.

Come back to me now,
Shine on me with your golden glow.
Pull me out from here,
This dark trench in life.
It's this constant feeling of want and the recurring ignorance by the people who act they dont see it. It's stolen light that i deserve.
#love #sunshine #stolen #her #broken #darkness #crying #depression #loneliness
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Dec 2019 · 385
A Leap of Faith ?
Aravind Shanavaz Dec 2019
A Leap of Faith ?
Last night at around 11:30,
I was sketching a future with you,
In my mind. So Colourful.
You in my dreams, so vivid.
I dreamt that we kissed,
Under the evening sun,
In a parked car on a lonely road.

Our eyes met,
My hand on yours.
There was this electricity,
In the air between us.
Bringing us closer every second.

A faint blue glow I felt it,
In your eyes that looked into mine.
The first one to.
If only time could freeze in this moment.
If only I could save it for eternity.

Hues of pink and blue dance on your face.
The way you move, such grace !
I’m intimidated by you. Your stare.
Every time I see your face,
My happiness shoots up a thousand times.
If I die in that moment I’d be smiling.
All in an instant.

I haven’t felt this way before,
Or have I wanted to !
Now all I want is you.
Would you take a leap of faith with me ?
#you #love #faith #beauty #moments #memories
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Dec 2019 · 494
Not enough.
Aravind Shanavaz Dec 2019
Not enough.
Lord. Haven’t I suffered enough ?
These constantly refreshing images.
Why not just take my life ?
Give me a rest from this cursed life.
No, scarred life.

I don’t want to feel anymore.
I don’t want to love anymore.
I can’t love anymore.
Can’t even hate anymore.

Love is dead in my life,
Not coming back ever.
I don’t belong here, not anymore.

Take me up to heaven,
Heal my scars if you could.
Impossible right ?
#love #hate #alone #loneliness #suffering #scarred
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Jul 2019 · 524
Unknown part of me.
Aravind Shanavaz Jul 2019
Unknown part of me.
Today when I tried to write,
Just something about you.
I couldn't and I couldn't.
I felt bad and I felt numb.
I felt empty and I felt sad.

Like an angel's call it felt,
In my head. Calm. Composed.
Trying to keep me away from harm.
From your wicked ways,
And mindless seduction.

I have all this love for you.
Reserved. Unopened.
It is this box. Taped all over.
Destined never to be opened.

Maybe now I should **** myself,
To be free from this monstrosity.
Neglect and abuse delude me.
For a better time I yearn.

Recognition for others but none for me,
All that acting did set you free,
From my hands of control and greed.
But never you knew my heart and soul.
#unknown #alone #love #forgotten #loneliness #soul #lost #seduction #**** #death
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Jul 2019 · 403
I want(ed) to
Aravind Shanavaz Jul 2019
I want(ed) to
Every time I see your lips,
The way they move when you talk to me,
Those eyes when you look at me,
So intensely. I’m in love. Deeply.

I’m hurt badly, deep down.
The sorrow of a good heart.
Just wanting to be loved,
Just wanting to be yours. Truly.

I want to hold your hand, firmly.
Hold you close to me.
Stare into your bewitching eyes,
Till the end of time.

I want to say “I love you baby.”
But sadly that’s something I just couldn’t.
Cause you weren’t here no more.
Not here to say that you’re mine.
Just when I realised, I’m in love with you.

If I could just go back in time,
To all the times we’ve been together,
I would like to save all our moments,
In a bottle just like Jim Croce.

If I could just see you again,
Kiss you on your cherry lips,
Tell you that I love you,
In your warm embrace.
#her #girl #love #life #moments #embrace #lips #sadness #alone #dream
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Jul 2019 · 293
Unattainable
Aravind Shanavaz Jul 2019
Unattainable
It’s 5:30 in the morning,
And I’m still thinking about you.
Your lips are all I can think of,
And that look in your eyes.

At times I feel like breaking free,
Pull you close and kiss you.
Hold you in my arms,
Close and never letting go.

Alas ! My complexes won’t give in.  
My insecurities take over, done.

You become unattainable. Suddenly.
Forbidden, like the dreams I’ve had.
I feel crippled and powerless,
Not knowing how to make you like me.
But would you ever even if I tried ?
#complexes #love #hate #loneliness #alone #insecure #beauty #dream
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Jul 2019 · 272
Person with the flowers
Aravind Shanavaz Jul 2019
Person with the flowers
Yesterday went by like a breeze,
Just like that.
Time flies when we are happy.
To see a person amidst the chaos,
Someone to smile at among the crowd,
Someone who smiles back at you,
Is a feeling you can’t explain. Euphoria.

We skimmed through topics here and there.
Talking without a full stop.
From the moment we met until we parted,
For the first time.

The days after moved slower.
So slow that I can’t take it.
The fast rhythm in your voice haunts me.
The colour of your eyes I can see,
In every reflection of me,
On the windows and in the rain,
And the stone cold pavements I tread.
#love #alone #loneliness #memory #you #girl #forgotten #friendship
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Nov 2018 · 428
What the wind showed.
Aravind Shanavaz Nov 2018
What the wind showed.
The wind blows strong
From outside the door.
It touched my face with
An intense love.
It kept on blowing
Keeping me comfy.

I look inside all around
I see people sitting here and there
And everywhere.
On the seats.
On the floor and over the racks.
Standing, sitting, sleeping and thinking.
All of them thinking at once.
"When will I reach home ?"  

Here I am Standing
beside the coach door
Feeling the wind in my hair
Feeling it in my heart.

Suddenly I see her outside the door
That face glowing with love.
Her lips red, her eyes wide
Floating in the the wind.
Just within my hands reach.

I reach out to her.
Trying to hold her hand.
But alas! She disappears.
Back into my imagination.
Back to her place in my memory.
its all about her.
#love #wind #her #girl #alone #loneliness
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Oct 2018 · 974
Synthetic Love Affair
Aravind Shanavaz Oct 2018
Synthetic Love Affair
Can I make it work,
If we can see that future ?
There on a park bench,
Just like a cliche. Us.
Hand in hand,
Your head resting on my shoulder.
Such warmth.

I woke up to a screeching noise,
Of the midnight express ,
Coming to a halt. Silence.
I looked to my side hoping to find you.
Resting on my shoulder.
Alas ! You weren’t there anymore.
I look around and it was just a dream.
I felt alone in the midst of people.
Strangers.

Time went by and I’m sleepless.
It haunts me, the memory of you.
That lost dream became a nightmare.

Today I can’t sleep.
The thought of you haunts me,
Day and night.
I try to write it down,
My mistakes and fears.
About my synthetic love affair.
Heart crushing pain .
#her #love #lost #alone #loneliness #memory #you #time #dream
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Oct 2018 · 1.3k
Attempts for Love .
Aravind Shanavaz Oct 2018
Attempts for Love .
Isn’t it obvious ?
The way I try.
Words I speak and more to be.
Smiles and compliments I give,
In just a futile attempt.

When I try to mend,
The possibility for love.
When my eyes speak,
Of my late night dreams.
You move like the wind,
Your hair like a river.
The shape of your lips,
I’m intrigued. Such grace !
Sculpted you feel,
To my strange eye.
Just a sight of perfection,
A marvel maybe.

You’re imperfect yet so perfect.
I feel. Enchanted.
I could reach out,
Touch your face.
So close yet so far away.

Now such a deep wound I have.
Trying to heal itself,
With false beliefs and hope
That one day in another life,
We could be together as one.
I write when I feel sad .
#love #sadness #her #girl #dreams #lips #broken #enchanted #woman
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Oct 2018 · 420
Enigma
Aravind Shanavaz Oct 2018
Enigma
Your voice like the wind,
Breezy and free.
Every word you say,
Like a whisper among the trees.
The girl etched in my dreams,
I said to myself.

I woke up once again, Broken.
You were lost among my dreams,
On an endless place not land or sea.
You drifted away in space,
And time hid you beneath.

I search for you among the stars,
Among the moons of Jupiter,
And Saturn’s rings.
I searched for you in the darkness,
And in the light.
But you were an enigma,
I could never find.
Most of my poems are from personal experiences and based on my insecurities and complexes . This is one such poem .
#love #broken #loneliness #thoughts #dreams #girl
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