The light was still on,
The clock screamed at zero three hundred hours,
My mind was terrorised by thousand bullets of fear and doubt,
There was a cyclone of anxiety and worry,
I tried to seek for shelter but couldnt.
Hoping for peace but it was dull and dreary.
All my life I was afraid of the dark and fear was inevitable,
It felt as if I was standing on a railway, facing an oncoming train
I stood there
Frozen
But nothing was holding me back, and
I didnt want to run either.
My inner voice wanted to rant
A thousand reason of why I should be afraid
Of repressed emotion, of words unsaid
I prayed,
Tried to be a saint
But my heart was a blank canvas, left unintended and fear acted as paint.
All I wanted was an embrace of apology from myself to myself,
Because I have never said sorry for the things that I did to me, to my mind.
Now I wanted to resign.
I sighed my last sorrow,
and burned the art apprehension drew,
Desperate for a positive morrow.
I remembered what dad said about clinging to the past,
Of happiness that won't last
He said we are not meant to hold on, we're meant to let go.
Tonight I said sorry to my fear because we're going to be brave for the first time.
I salute at time
And switched off the lights