No one is willing to listen
and so I write...
I just want you to lay
here with me forever and
never let go.
When I think of them, I think of sunshine
and a cloudless sky.
When I think of them, I think of a car trip,
a happy song,
When I think of them, I think to myself,
I'm never going to let them go.
They bring so much joy into my life.
I just wish we could be together again.
I miss their touch.
everything about them
that makes my heart swell
when it beats
idk something that just popped into my head
darker days ahead,
my heart grows tired and weary -
why do you hate me
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you’ve always wanted a boy and a girl but I can’t be your daughter anymore.
I’ve tried, believe me.
You want me to wear dresses and put on makeup and curl my hair and paint my nails.
But that’s not me.
I’ve told you that I want my haircut.
You say no.
I say I want to wear a suit to homecoming.
You shove a dress in my face.
I’m terrified to go into the right bathroom when you’re around.
How can you expect me to go to you with everything when you force me to shove my emotions down?
You know my true name.
You know my true pronouns.
Yet you refuse to let me be myself.
Why can’t you accept that I’m your son, not your daughter?
I know it would be hard at first to get used to the new name and pronouns but you make me feel like you’ll never get used to it.
I can’t explain how difficult it is to live with you and myself at the same time.
I want to cut my chest off, shave my head, and just scream at the top of my lungs.
But you won’t let me.
So I’m forced to stay in the closet and listen to your insults.
Constantly wondering when you’ll accept me.
If you ever will accept me.
I’m tired of being loved only half the time.