Anthony Feng

Anthony Feng Dec 2019

Dear me,
Look at yourself.

Look at the setbacks you've had,
Look at all the mistakes you've made,
Look at all the bad days you went through,
Look at your past.

OPEN YOUR EYES!
Look at how far you've come.

Look at your scars.
Despite all the pain you've went through.
Despite how many times your darkness has consumed you.
Despite everything you went through.
You're still here.
You fought through the battles that others couldn't see.

I am so proud of you.

Keep fighting, don't give up.

Here's to the ones that don't have the right words to say to themselves.

#proud #of #you #strong #depression #anxiety #past #present #future

Anthony Feng Dec 2019

" I know you so well"

" I know you so well "
if you knew me so well,
you would be able to see my pain.

" I know you so well "
if you knew me so well,
tell me what my future is

" I know you so well "
If you knew me so well,
you would see the progress I've made.

If you knew me so well,
your words wouldn't be filled with doubts.

It's my life, not yours.
It's my emotions, not yours.
It's my thoughts, not yours.
It's my goals, not yours.

You don't know my past, my present or future,
You don't know what I'm feeling,
You don't know what I'm thinking,
and you most certainly don't know my purpose in life.

The questions are mine to figure out and answer,
not yours.

Your words have no power against me.

.

To the ones that doubts us

There's nothing wrong with us. we're doing okay and okay is better than nothing. we just gotta believe in ourselves. we're still breathing, we're still here. As long as we're still breathing, there will always be room for improvements.

#dear #doubts #selfdoubt #society #pain #depression #anxiety

Anthony Feng Dec 2019

Dear society.

I don’t need your permission to love

I don’t need your permission to think

I don’t need your permission to fight what’s best for me.

I don’t need your permission to heal
what you can not see.

I am going to blossom into a warrior
& shine like never before.

I will learn from my mistakes,
without your stares & your doubts.

Here’s to the society that thinks that they can control us and stop us from loving who we love, from thinking freely, from doing what we’re passionate about, from healing from our past, and thinking we can not change from our mistakes.

#change #new #beginnings #love #healing #heal #self #worth

Anthony Feng Nov 2019

It’s time.

It’s time to water my own plants,
It’s time to grow.

It’s time to bandage up
my own wounds,
It’s time to heal.

It’s time to face my fears,
It’s time to fight.

I’m done sitting around,
I’m done waiting to be saved.

I’m saving myself,
I’m fighting my own battles.

I’m done waiting. I’m just done with everyone. I’m fighting my own battles. I don’t need anyone.

#strong #brave #battle #fighter #warrior #healer #proud

Anthony Feng Nov 2019

Trapped & Confused.

Locked me in a cage?
Yes but here’s the key, take it.

        Covered my mouth?
Okay yes  but your hands are free
here’s a mic for you, if you need it.

     Tied my hands and feet together?
alright but here’s the box cutter for you.

         Where am i?

you have a gps on your phone.

  ” unknown destination “

Wait ! but whose’s phone is this?

it’s yours

No it isn’t !
how did i get here?

What do you mean ? you’re at home.

no ? we’re near a cliff ?
and why am i dressed like this?
****!
where are we now?

you’re at a courtroom,
       you’ve been put on trial.

for wha-?

NOW STAND UP AND TAKE THE OATH.

I , tony , swear that the evidence
that i shall give, shall be the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me , god.

Is this you? did you do this?
who are you trying to be?
you are living off a lie

Yes- no ! wait!
This isn’t m-!

BANG BANG BANG!
SILENCE ! ORDER ! ORDER!_
Okay Anthony , that’s enough from you.

Juries , do you have a verdict?
Yes, judge.

what’s your verdict?

The charges against the defendant , Anthony.
We find the defendant , guilty!

no ! THIS IS SOME KIND OF JOKE!

GUARDS! TAKE HIM AWAY !
I hereby sentence Anthony to life!

*CASED CLOSED

I’ve always felt out of place and never fit in, in any crowd.

#black #sheep #confused #confusing #delusional #trap #trapped

Anthony Feng Nov 2019

Daily reminder

You’re running,
   you’re running
and you’re running.

  You’ve missed
so many stop signs.

You have so many
   bruises, cuts
and scratches.

You’re in so much pain
but you’re so detached
with yourself that
you don’t feel it.

You & I both know
    this isn’t
the first race you did.

However you left yourself
   behind, once again.

Please slow down and rest...

This is what I told myself when I had the most stressful and confusing days and months of my life

#stressed #life #depressed #anxiety

Anthony Feng Nov 2019

One sided love.

I haven’t seen you or talked to you,
for years.

I froze when I saw you.

You were the first
that I truly loved
that I cared for the most
that I appreciated the most
& valued.

You were the first
that gave me a taste of
what loving someone,
what appreciating someone
& valuing someone felt like.

But in the end,
you were the one
that made me feel worthless,
invisible & never enough.

Maybe I’m giving you too much credit.
Maybe I was delusional this whole time.
Maybe you weren’t the first
But you were the one
who impacted me the most.

You taught me how to love & hate
at the same time.

sad how much I give out will always goes to waste.

#love #heartbreak #first #trust