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37.2k · Sep 2011
Puppet Show
You have the right to love
and be loved as well.
The right to, not just break but, shatter from your shell.
Run free, run proud
sing to me and sing it loud.
Slacks and dresses spinning and twirling,
backs and arms bending and curling.
Dance like the puppets do
not seeing the strings touching you.

please puppet master loosen your grip
please god let his hand slip


Listen to me love theres no need
for the begging and the pleeding,
theres no reason for the weeping and the bleeding.
Never stray from whats true in your heart
and like a soft candle light,
it will guide you through the dark.

Now I've spoke with your master
it's not such a disaster,
he told me with no laughter,
"No one will ever out last her."

But the grey sky above has killed my sense of love
and with so much to talk about
but nothing left to say,
I bit my tongue
and just walked away.
16.4k · Aug 2010
Short and Sweet
I can't tell you what it is,
but I know it exists.
It sounds like the winds- feels like a kiss,
smells perfectly sweet- tastes like it too.
And if I could see it,
I bet it would look just like you.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
6.3k · Jun 2010
Rarest Disease
If the good die young
Then I’ll die old
My stress is so high strung
And my heart is so cold
The sad song I sing
Has nothing on the pain I bring
Lively on the outside
But on the inside
Its genocide
Everything is dead
Sent to permanent bed
People walking around
But they have no heads
The land is vast, empty and depleted
My heart is everything but completed
The disease I have is so rare
One hand shake
It’s all down hill from there
Your life I'll break
My sorrow is everything but fake
Everyday my broken heart is at stake
My emotions flow
Like a placid lake
With water so deep
No one understands
So to my self I keep
When I fall
No one lends helping hands
Everyone just stands
In a circle around
As I lay helpless on the ground
They don’t care
They all just stare
My heart is empty
Nothing is there
My soul matches
It too is bare
Blessed with this curse
Man life isn't fair
I’ll die first
This disease is too rare
To claim anymore lives than my own
This is all set in stone
As I sit on that hill weeping alone
Anthony J. Alexander 2006
5.6k · Sep 2011
Simple.
the thought is simple
the feeling the same
stealing the rain
that falls from yours eyes
sealing the pain
that spells our demise
look my love
look at the sky as the fish fly by
I would catch one for you
but I broke my pole last time I gave it a try
it made me laugh so hard I started to cry
and scream so loud I shattered the ground
as well as the man
solid like stone
yet hes broken down to the bone

lonely.

but not alone
relying solely on his phone
to spill his thoughts
and keep them his own
the puppet show is the only place
he has ever called home
taking center stage
unleashing hidden rage
she squeezed out the cage
sprend her wings for a few days
flew around the world
just to get lost in the maze
with the turn of a phrase
she reveals their life as a phase
stunned and amazed
he rolls up to blaze
no clouds in his head
just the purple haze
now it all seems so simple
the problem isn't mental
it's a matter of will
can I splatter and ****
what I tried to hold still
I'll do you one better
leave the bird with one feather
and sever the tether
bring destruction to her seduction
and then see how well she can function
flying, running, lying, *******
tell me something
is it simple now will more walls than bridges?
is your life really better as just one of his *******?
come to your senses
you're smarter than this is
giving you credit for
the raven on my shoulder
is squaking simply
*never more.
4.5k · Jun 2010
Victory
I thank the Lord above
For all the times
That I fell in love
And I thank the one below
For the pain
That I have come to know
I know it so well
Through the scars
From all the times I fell
They’re the reason why
I’m an empty shell
They have shattered my hopes
And destroyed my dreams
But it’s the love I have
That muffles my screams
I have more love than pain
Or so it seems
Until I’m crushed with this burden
And I come apart at the seems
But my soul burns bright
No one can dim it
But this girl just pushes me
Everyday to my limit
She drives me crazy
Completely insane
And for a minute I feel nothing
Not even the pain
But once control I regain
It becomes all too familiar
I wonder if it’s worth this
And is it my fault
Did I birth this?
Did I terminate this bliss?
Did I do something wrong?
If I did
Why has this been going on so long?
If this isn’t feeding off love
Then what’s it running on?
My brain twisting and turning
With different notions
My heart flaming and burning
With different emotions
I struggle to tell you
That life isn’t fair
And that about you
I never did care
You try to look into my mind
Knowing not the conflict
That rages on in there
The Devil pushes
God pulls so I get no where
Whether I should walk away
Or sit and stay
Is a battle between my heart and my brain
That I think never ends
I just hope when it stops
The right one wins
Anthony J. Alexander 2006
4.2k · Sep 2011
Walls in the Halls
By herself in the dark with nothing at heart,
being so smart only plays a small part.
Take it back to start and place your mark
on the people, the faces, the parties, the places.
Tighten up your laces, we got a few more bases
but she's stuck in that stasis.
Memories fade like a fragrance
so of course the pain gets
too much to handle.
Too much flame and not enough candle.
Burn bright and burn hot
for everything we've fought.
All that you've sought is the only thing I've got.

Beyond an open book
they're just pages on the floor,
you can give 'em a look
if you know what you're searching for
there's a fine line between flowing and bleeding,
an even thinner one between knowing and believing
and **** near none at all between showing and deceiving


Every rose has its thorn but she's just a dandelion
so I blew her mind
to watch her thoughts start flying.
It's all water under the bridge now,
but I'll throw you off and burn that bridge down.
I don't want you to drown...
just want to see if your ability to sink or swim kicks in.
I only took your breath away to watch you suffocate,
but I keep hearing you wheezing
like your barely even breathing.
So deceiving,
are you walking away?
Or just leaving?

Forever is the word he tagged on the walls in her mind,
so she walked those halls
with a bucket of paint thinner and hand full of time.
Her walls are too thick too strong with all that brick
maybe a lil acid will do the trick.
But he only came equipped
with some elbow grease and lil bit of spit...
The voice in his head whispered
"Now get to work kid"
So he did;
and never learned when to quit.
2.9k · Jan 2011
Goddess
Over royal tombs and palace walls,
moonlit dreams spread whispers of the rising sun.

Come to me says the sirens song
Come to me, lay down your sword, lay down your shield
Come to me


Shadowy figures gather within the dark spots of her eyes
to share secrets of why she can't see.
Vision stolen by the greatest of thieves,
capable of stealing things that aren't yours to begin with;
Nor anyone elses.

But when the stars come down to kiss goodnight
and she rests her head on the softest planets,
sprawling across galaxies, wrapping her body-less soul in a warm nebula,
the sweetest dreams will cradle her new born thoughts,
tugging at the strings to her wings,
drowning out every siren that sings and brings their destruction
with out having to touch them.

Standing on rooftops chanting paganisms toward the heavens
like a heathen taunting the sky fire.
And it comes,
like the rain from home it comes;
It always does.

And as the gentle sunrise graces her face,
lighting up and opening the windows to her soul
I see that it's burning cyan-hazel flames;
Make moonlit dreams become sun soaked realities
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
1.9k · Jun 2010
Three Word Devastation
Mischievous secrets
Softly screamed in my ear
Anger surging
And racing through me
Voices no on else can hear
Crying out in my mind
Revealing truths
Sheding light on shadows
Soul cowering in the corner
Afraid of everything, everyone
People you've hurt before
Try to warn me and tell me
Exactly what will happen
If I say only 3 words
Fatal words hurtful words
You know of the damage they cause
And of the wreckage they bring
Yet you say them so meaningly
Your trying to hurt me
And bring me pain
Well you succeeded
My heart is slain
And I feel a pain
Like no other pain
And I still tell you
I still love you
And no matter what
I always will
And you never will
So ***** I spill
Because you make me sick
Because you think your slick
But you're not
All this is what runs through me
And my mind
As I sit here and you tell me
This 3 word devastation
That I fear, so much I fear
As I'm dripping a tear
As you softly whisper in my ear
I love you dear
Tears crystal blue
Becasue I know its not true
Anthony J. Alexander 2005
1.9k · Sep 2011
Last night
Following dark roads all night
looking for bright lights
to spark excitement and wonder where life went
the further we break from the burden of the world
the thinner the barrier between us and the heavens
I can almost reach out and touch them
while were on these hilltops
dancing like demons and devils
letting the magic dipped paper slip split
my mortal mind from my immortal soul
as the past slithers through the crowd like a snake
lurking in the grass only rearing its head to boast its own self loathing
but being so lost in the bass and the movement
makes me not even close to human
makes me more immune then
a deaf man trying to tune in or an ignorant man assumin'
and just as me and her return from our voyage
mother earth greets us
with the most beautiful sight
these one time eyes have ever seen so pristine
like a dream as a cloud drops to kiss the crisp hilltop
once again everything stops
and I thought
even witnessing the rot that she got
from scraping the bottom of the barrel
and lapping up the sin couldn't dampen the thin grin on my chin
so smile back baby
because not even all the cumpsters, so called friends or Christopher Walken himself
can stop us.
1.6k · Sep 2011
History of Current Events
More ment for torment then enjoyment
a story of how a young boy went
from scared to scarred, caged and barred
to ruling the whole school yard.

Self taught on how to be a man
making makeshift sense of anything he can,
looking at the puzzle with no pieces in hand
she couldn't stand the picture, so she took them and ran.

Confessions of secrets well known
eroded by the wind, worn down to the bone.
Never felt more alone in his own home,
he can only hear you if you speak in the right tone

She can see it on his face,
he needs her in this place
and if they keep this pace,
she could be one of the greats.

But can she bench press the stress he puts on her?
With nothing but faith and love as her sponser,
no sword or shield, ready to defend their honor
she came head to head with his monster.

Tested in time
by the rest of his mind,
through the mess she will find
she has less to unwind.

Wearing his shirt,
cleaning his dirt,
taking the hurt,
because she knows they will work.

Arms open and hands empty.
Wanting nothing more than to love him simply,
she keeps his focus away from the tempting.
I asked where she came from
she whispered to me gently...

*The heavens sent me.
1.6k · Jun 2010
I Wish You Knew
I wish you knew
How bad it hurts
To watch him kiss you
To stand next to you
And act like we were never
Never together
Like I never said I love you
And neither did you, never
But we both know
We did love each other
And we let it show
We didnt care who saw
Your lovely kisses leaving me in awe
My hearts beats 100 miles an hour
Whenever your lips touch mine
Whenever your eyes meet mine
'Cause your hand fits mine
So perfectly
Like it was meant to be
And when you hug me
And squeeze me gently
Then touch me warmly
All I can do is smile
So you kiss me again
Oh so softly
I hold you closer
Hoping you will stay
But again you slip away
Again I live alone
Day by day
I wish you knew
That I can't live without you
And how I love you so
When you see me with her
Your emotions don't flow
But when I look into your eyes
I can't see that you know...
Anthony J. Alexander 2005
1.6k · Jul 2010
1,000 Words
The button is pressed
Like you would squeeze a trigger
Its not a bullet that hits us
But its just as fast
The camera flash
Snatches a snapshot of the past
But time won't let this moment last
So it's a good thing the lens
Played witness to this instance
Now the purity captured in enternity
Is proof of her and me currently
Loving our uncertainty
And for that spilt second
These trees are seized by the breeze
Though it is brief each leaf
Is gently rocked to sleep
And it's their dreams that I seek to keep
Because its seems to be the only time I can SEE
My reality is fading to fallacy
So this is my last stand
And I will fight it valiantly
You can take my vanity
But leave me my sanity
I have a feeling this sand will be
Far past challenging
So if you are up for it
Box it and store it
Put the pedal to the metal lets floor it
Remember I kissed your lips
So tag. You're it.
Hurry up and make your move
Cause soon there won't be enough room in this tomb
Keep your eyes on tomorrow
But still live for today
And if you can't see that far
Then all you have to do is say
"Please, show me the way"
Though we both know you won't stay
But I'll play along anyway
Cause when the flash comes again
I believe I'll be leaves in your wind
Even if for only a minute
And as long as you're in it
Each pictures worth
Is far more than 1,000 words.
Anthony J Alexander 2010
1.5k · Sep 2011
Mask her aid be all
This is no show
we can go slow
cuz I don't know
how to throw snow.
Everything is always on fire,
with crackling, roaring flames
burning shames, names, bridges
and everything the same...

So far beyond an open book
just pages on the floor,
you can go ahead and look
if you know what you're searching for,
but there's a fine line between flowing and bleeding,
an even finer one between knowing and believing
and **** near none at all between showing and deceiving.


It's more about what you're taking than what you're leaving,
what you're hearing than what you're seeing.
Peering through that looking glass
I can tell you can't see past
all the cracks, that's why you ask
where I got this mask.

I made it myself; do you like it?
I can see it on your face you don't love it at all...
If you don't want to dance you can stand against the wall
and if you don't want to fall,
you can lay down and crawl.
Just keep moving through the crowd then,
but you can't stop my sound from pounding
your thoughts just as it stops;
I trace your face.


And with nothing left to ask from you
I have one last task for you.
I made a mask for you
it's petite and small
but can cover it all,
so put it on my love.
Welcome to my Masquerade Ball
I can't stand the thought
Of someone taking you
Breaking you, or even making you

Label me selfish
But at least I know what I want

All my 1,000 words
Are short and sweet
But you can't even taste them
Let alone see

You're blind, deaf and dumb
To my 100 meter run
Now my legs are tired
So I'm going to sit this one out

The breeze feels good
But I question It's worth
Lost by the map
There's no treasure in this dirt

The offer still stands
I won't take it back
But the longer you sit
The more it has slack

One day it will reduce
To a coiled wire
Just a another song
Sung by my choir

Carried by the  birds
That brought the first one
Buried under the words
Only ones that burnt them

Your wings can flap
The trees will sap
Your hands can clap
The thunder will crack

What else is new
The sky isn't blue
Only these thoughts of you
Can make it true
So what am I left to do

You're nothing but a lumber jack
Come to cut me down
But when the hungers back
You're nowhere to be found
So as I fall to the ground
I am the only one to say TIMBER
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
1.5k · Jun 2010
Always Smile Never Cry
Picture everyone around you
Fallen to rubble
Because you gave up
At the first sign of trouble
You fulfilled their demise
When they saw defeat in you eyes
You never know what God has in store
So never settle for less
And always strive for more
When everyone starts
To fall and crumble
Hold them up
And don’t you dare stumble
You have to have the ability
To show mental stability
Even through pure insanity
When all is dark
Be their sun
Be their strength
When they have none
When life brings
Nothing but pain
Be nothing
But their cleansing rain
So when they come to you
With the problems they’re facing
Be their salvation
When they think it’s all over
Lift them onto your shoulder
Show them strength
Until the day you die
During life’s long length
Always Smile And Never Cry
Anthony J. Alexander 2006
1.5k · Jul 2010
No Time to Waste
I have this disorder
Well, it's more of a sort of complex
I'm better yet broken no- destroyed
Closer to empty no- a void
Whatever it is, I can feel it's coldness
It's what the oldest thing I hold is;
It's what best story I've ever told is;
Its what the weight of this load is;
It's what the fork in my road is
Decaying, snoozing, heavy and confusing
But don't mind me if this sounds outrageous
I promise I'm far from contagious
So can you tell me what your name is?
And then just cause wondering,
Could you write your number right under it?
I tell you these things, show you my snakes
While I stand at my flood gates
And hope that your lust makes
The trusts break because I cant stand
How long this rust takes
Now it's your turn to learn
How much time of mine you can burn.
Anthony J Alexander 2010
1.4k · Sep 2011
Into the Atmosphere
Digging through dreams,
to unearth confessions.
Can't you see the difference
between deception and discretion?
Or are you distracted by the cracks in the perfection?

A timid but ever relentless conscience
guides the human like responses.
Remind me that I'm only mortal
Take hold of my soul,
no need to be cordial you can be forceful.

Show me your strength and to what length you're willing to go
Question me for the answers you're not just dying
but killing to know.


These visions that I've fit you in,
you claim aren't genuine
and have no impact on real life.
But to me it feels like steel spikes
so I keep the seal tight.

If we both know what love takes
let's open up them flood gates
and give it a run for it's money.
We'll do it for Slug's sake,
because I'm not the coldest hopeless romantic rapper.

After the smoke clears
and cheeks have soaked tears
I stood and spoke here,
even if it was to closed ears.
Doesn't matter how rough the road
or that the rain is cold.

*'Cause I'm gonna be alright,
and you're gonna be alright,
you ain't gotta hold my hand
just walk with me tonight.
1.4k · Jun 2010
Crippling the Invincible
Everything has changed
Yet nothing is different
You left me deranged
But I don’t think you meant it
The things you have done
Have burnt this one
Engulfed in flames
With the rage of the sun
My hearts a puzzle
For which you hold the last piece
You hold it forever
Is the way it seems
To watch my soul decrease
And my life decease
Sleeping tranquil
In eternal peace
You teased me with happiness
And punished me with pain
You pleased me with cuteness
As you played your game
You set up a smoke screen
To keep me blind
I could have never seen
The hurt and anguish
Resulting from you scheme
An unescapable pain
This is no dream
Fore this is reality
And I am love’s fatality
Anthony J. Alexander 2006
Hopes and dreams,
dashed on a rock.
She chokes on screams
or maybe a ****.

Lost to her vision,
no path to follow.
Still love how you're livin',
or is it hard to swallow?

Come now my goddess,
you know me better than that.
Let's be honest,
do you want it all back?

With a story this sad,
you won't even have to stack the deck.
Took everything you had,
and left you a wreck,

Standing on thin ice under egg shells,
screaming to the heavens that left you.
The same lie everyone else tells,
but they are deaf to you.

They have forsaken you my goddess,
just like I have.
We found what your plot is,
and had a good laugh.

So run on home,
where ever that now may be.
Shut off your phone,
and stay free.

Starting here and now,
you're just a mortal
I don't know what this is about,
But it seems rather forceful

I'm turning my back,
as well as the tide.
The walls start to crack,
and now I'm inside.

I am infected,
now my disease runs through your veins.
Quite selective,
to whom I inflict pain.

Came down from the sky,
with a witch's cackle.
Sat by my side,
and watched the fire crackle.

Don't look so weak,
everyone is powerless against me.
She turned to speak,
I screamed...
**THIS IS YOUR LIVING HELL
AND THE DEVIL HIMSELF SENT ME!
1.3k · Dec 2010
I Remember the Days
I can clear these fence posts in one jump now...

But I remember the days when I would have to peek through it's cracks to catch a glimpse of the magical world that lay just outside them.

Stepping foot on grounds that haven't been touched by any shoes of mine in quite some time now...

But I remember the days when they had lights on side of them and I would jump higher and higher to try and make them brighter and brighter.

Sitting on that old swing set with my knees almost in my chest now...

But I remember the days when my feet dangled at the bottom of my legs reaching for the ground but never reaching it.

Standing in a field that's borders are clear because it's empty and plain now...

But I remember the days when the blackberry bushes covered near half of it's grass and I carved out a path to my first sanctuary that sat in the very back.

Awkwardly walking up those tiny random stairs fully bending down to slide my hands across the rails now...

But I remember the days when they were just waist high, the perfect size and I'd fly up them hitting each step with flawless stride.

Ducking under the monkey bars to avoid the blunt force trauma of smacking my head, I am much taller than them now...

But I remember the days of when I would climb onto the shoulders of friends to hang from them for as long as my fading grip would allow me.

Resting my weeping head on the this picnic table that is obviously too small for the likes of me now...

But I remember the days when I'd stand with ferocity on that table top and rain down my terror on Beth and Peggy Sue like any good Godzilla would do.

In a world where everything is instant and constantly fast paced, time seems slower in this place; untouched by age.

These walls and halls still echo my childhood laughter. As my now calloused hands capture my, adult sized, tears I silently thank whoever spent the years keeping this piece of history an unseen mystery to the ever flowing and changing universe.

No matter what turn my path takes I'll always remember the days when nothing could make greater escapes.

This man's weather worn face sits eye to eye with the unforgiving world now...

But behind the barrier of memories I am still a boy...

Spying on the non believers and teachers through fences that bordered my secret lair running up and down random stairs stomping my light up shoes on each step that rests just beyond a rusted swing set with chains as long as the sky so I felt like I could fly climbing mount bestfriend just to hold on for dear life like the monkey bars are as high as stars dropping down on top of the world and letting out a roar to scare the girls followed by belly laughter that shook the rafters....

That world has been morphing and contorting for quite awhile but I still smile

Because back then... I ruled it
In the very same way I do today.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
1.3k · Jun 2010
Insanity
You knew I loved you
And you know I love you
Still you brush me off
And turn me aside
Now I turn the tide
And let my anger free
Though my insanity
I hurt you now
But dont you worry
I wont hurt you physically
I'll just hurt you physcologically
And drive you crazy
'Till you hear the things I hear
And see the things I see
'Till people tell you
The things that they tell me
And the whispers oh the whispers
Whisper so softly
But still driving me crazy
Stealing away my sanity
Hurling me into a world of choas
Here no one can bother us
Not you and me
But the voices of my insanity...
Anthony J. Alexander 2005
1.3k · Jan 2012
hOURglass.
The skies are clear, between these ears.
Days turn to minutes, while months turn to years.

I'm set in stone,
how are you still molding your clay?
Don't look at me that way.
I take on your whole week in just one day.

So take shots and smoke ***, rather then not.
Simply forgot or just part of the plot?

Does the sleeve hold an ace or just empty space?
Whatever he's got, it seems like a lot
of riddles and

trickery.

I'll spit this heat until you're sick of me.
You're every bit of free so sit and see
how quickly we can be
each other's enemy.

With no help or aid
the trembling lending hand is afraid.
Would you have stayed?
If things were taken to the grave
instead of put on display
like they're cut into a high top fade

Powerful or powerless
carefully creeping
with a slithering prowess.
Don't tell the cowards.
Because.

They will sacrifice hours
To take what's ours

I tried to whisper your name yesterday,
but all I could do was scream.
I tried to remember your face,
but all I could do was *dream
1.3k · Jun 2010
The Vase
I never meant to hurt you
Just to make you mad
But it’s not so much fun
Now that’s its all bad
I do this day to day
Lowering you self esteem
With every word I say
The holes you can not seam
And the pain is here to stay
Our love I must redeem
I like to see your anger
Until it puts our love in danger
It makes me feel a mix of things
That’s why it feels so stranger
Our relationships a fragile vase
That used to sit in just one place
But I liked the way my heart did race
When I placed
That vase
Upon the ledge
But I fear I set it too close this time
It fell off the edge
The vase is broken now
And lays upon the floor
In shock I peer down
This girl I did adore
All is silent
It destroyed my world
When it hit the ground
Because I fell in love with a girl
This I just now found
Now I’m the sorry one
I didn’t have one ounce of fun
I can’t go back on what I’ve done
I wish I would have kept that vase
Sitting in that one safe place
Because I miss the grace
Of your kiss upon my face
Your love I’m keeping
But I can only have it
While I’m sleeping
The mist is dead silent
Except the echoes of my weeping
Anthony J. Alexander 2006
1.3k · Sep 2010
I of the Storm
My nightly routine now days
Is to sit and watch the sun raise
Above these graves
Not to absorb it's majesty
But to observe the tragedy
As the warmth flows though my veins
Wishing it could chase away the shame
And anything that looks the same
Now here comes the rain
No here comes the hurricane
With winds stronger
Then any demon I've fought, bottle I've bought
Pill that I've popped or drug I've dropped
So more often then not
I've sought to put holes in your plot
In hopes to stop the thought you brought
From taking over your mind this time
It's not as easy as you think
When you stand on the brink
Of being extinct and begin to sink
But my instinct tells me
What I don't understand
Am I any less of a man
Just because I can surpass your demands
And land in the sand with a helping hand
You have too much on your plate
And I'm looking for a meal to steal
But you think I'm carefully
Searching for clarity and apparently
I can't handle the hunger
I wonder how you got under
This wrong impression
Was it the aggression
Or just it's direction
I pack my pistols with pencils
And point them at these pages
With faith that it's contagious
Run to or run from
Any and everything under the sun
And when you're done if you come
With some type of gun
Be sure to take it off stun
And make that *** weigh a ton
You wake up shirtless on purpose
The thought that comes first is
Was it worth this?
I'm not going to lie
I still wonder why you even came by
Because through my eye view of you
Everything is plain and clear
But when you SEE me
Everything fades and smears
So what's it going to be
I'm not settling for "friend"
I'm not going to buy it
I want to hear the wind again
It's far too quiet...
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
1.2k · Oct 2011
The Right to Write
Alas my friend,
we meet again
as seemingly meaningful
butterfly kisses and dangerous pillow talk
turn to candle lit confessions
of past regrets and future sins.

Words whispered in the wind
float past my eardrums to beat upon my brain.
Like I'm insane I strain to strain
them out as scribbles, scrawled and sprawled,
over pages telling stories of painful ages
and chain filled cages.

Once upon a time's and used to be's
are not here's and now's.
But if ups have downs,
and smiles have frowns.

Then fortunately for my dark past behind me
I have blank paper in front of me
and I don't so much write, as

quite literally induce lucid memory with literature

only your mind can see,
in the deepest of its own depths.
More towards the chest.
Where shadows dance
like jesters, dressed to impressed her
with moves so fluent they flow like fluid, I can do it.

Plant a seed the size of a grain of sand and
watch it grow like a Beanstalk, talk
about power. Watch your watch
as the second hand moves like the hour.

Now you're in my time.

So entwined is my mind body and soul
every word I let roll off my tongue
is like foreplay to a *******.
And when I hit the rhyme at the end of the line,
its like freedom.

You sit here and bare witness to my words
climbing your defenses with the swiftness
of the worlds most ******* parcor.
So are your
thoughts that pure?
And are you sure you know how to endure
if they never find a cure?

With a view so obscured,
let me make these words clear.
I stand right here as all of your love as well as your fear.

Beyond the dark or the light.
I am the link between tranquil black and blinding white.
Even having no sight my words grip you tight.
And when my body is dead decaying and rotten,
like our children, they will not be forgotten.
Because words are the most immortal thing we've ever taught them.
1.2k · Oct 2010
Newly Familiar
Desire is the fire that burns
Through my entire attire,
Forcing my naked soul into this brightly lit
But deceivingly sick world-
That this angel, this girl
Is the queen of;
She is everything we can only dream of
Yet she stands in front of me,
Of all the people,
The most broken and most evil
She stand in front of

-ME-

And I can't figure out if life is over
Or if I am just sleeping,
Because last time I checked
I only see her while I'm dreaming,
And when it's this pitch black
I feel like I'm screaming-


But there's nothing but silence
...
And while it tears me apart
This is the only way
I can reach out from the dark
Because my mind can not find
The words held in my heart
That's why this was written in blood
From the start.
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
..­.
..
.
Anthony J. Alexander
1.2k · Apr 2015
The Pen
People often say to me “I wish I could write like you.”
Which to some degree I should find humbling
But if only they knew the truth
That every time I touch the pen I'm afraid of what it might do
Behind the guise of self expression it takes possession
All defenses are torn a sunder in pain under its reign
And I am helpless to stop it
Like I would, even if I could anyway
Each tear in me is subject to its tyranny
I watch every sunset fearfully
As the veil of darkness falls
So do the castle walls
It is then that the pen will begin to possess me again
Coercing confessions of sin
However, as much I hate it
I abhor I love it more
I concede that I need it
There is a stink of distinction
Between me and this ink pen
Yet still somewhat synonymous
Whatever I hide under the surface
Determines its purpose
And it always serves it
Even if it hurts when
I bleed through this pen.
1.1k · Jun 2010
Mattress
Though covered in cigarette burns
And love stains this mattress is the only thing
That I can hollow out enough
To harbor all my shameful secrets
And instant regrets
As well as my dishonorable disgraces
Along with the faces
Of people from places
That I wish not to forget
But to never have known
If you sever the bones
That the muscles cling to
It all has to fall apart
Before it can scar
But as we all know now
Fallen angels don't fall very far
That must be why I seek sanctuary
Upon these rooftops
And ponder over these few thoughts
Like how hard you fought
And all the emotion that it brought
But now nameless and faceless
I am engulfed by the crowd
Trying to scream loud enough to be found
But my voice is drown in the sound
Of their laughs at the clown
So I kick off the shoes
And throw off the nose
Rip off the wig
And tear off the clothes
Like come and get it girl
I'm yours for the taking
But only if you can break me
And lately no one can do that safely
So hug me, kiss me, love me then miss me
But these whispers that I hear
And the sweet nothings in my ear
Better be sincere because I fear
That your name already became
Just another stain on my mattress
From another bad actress.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
1.1k · Sep 2011
Hopes and Dreams
Horrific scenes of things unseen,
haunt my dreams with terrifying screams.

                                     Breath taking sight with colors vibrant and bright,
                              is the guiding light to my thoughts through the night.


Laying in a cold sweat my sheets soaking wet,
and I'm willing to bet I haven't even slept yet.

                                       Sound asleep in my bed with pillow under head,
                          loving that I never bled from everything that's been said


Tossing and rolling, not wanting whoever is next to me to hold me
I want you only and I need you solely

                              Cuddled with my princess, finally came to my senses.
                                                 No more defenses, just tickles and pinches.


Sick, broken hearted and thoughts always darkened,
don't know why we parted or how this all started.

                                     Calm, cool, collected, not defensive but protected.
                       Wrongs have been corrected and the right choice selected.


Overwhelmingly stressed and equally depressed,
I'm such a mess I have nothing left.**

                                                *Cup overflowing with smiles both glowing,
                              happy in knowing we don't know where we're going.
1.1k · Apr 2015
Homecoming
Are these poems
Or love letters?
I suppose there is seldom a difference
When it comes to people like us
Convectional affection
Love conceived but left unborn
Never to come to fruition
A mutual decision
At least that what I tell myself
But I dreamt of you again
Laying in the soft grass by the still waters
Like you've always been
Though I have avoided that place for some time
Call this my homecoming
My shining armor now tarnished
My sword and shield worn free of their varnish
Skin garnished with scars
I hold neither regret nor shame
That everything has changed so much
But will you love me the same
Even though I am not such?
1.1k · Jun 2010
Wind in the Forest
Even though my life was merely grazed
By your beauty and grace
I am thrown back and amazed
At how it lingers and stays
In the back of my mind
Like my thoughts have embraced
Every moment your face got my gaze
So now even if you deem us impossible
And call every obstacle optimal
Or give me the title of optional
You can't take my thoughts or memories
Full of once upon a times and used to be's
And all would freeze if your breeze
Ever sang again through my trees
Sweetest song to ever float on my leaves
The fact that it was mutual
Made it infinitely more beautiful
But with the music dying
I don't know how high
We can keep flying
Spare me the glance
Just give me your hands
And let us dance through the plants
Because right now
I don't plan on having any plans
So let's not worry about forever
Let's not worry about the weather
My leaves in your wind
Let us dance together
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
1.0k · Jan 2014
Halftermath
As soon as you heard the rain,
you came in like a hurricane.

                                             Destroyed everything

and claimed I was to blame.

Then didn't even try to clean up what's left,
just moved the mess from one room to the next.

We're oh so close in our hearts and souls
but
our minds are so distant
might as well be antiscians.
Even though I see you in my nightly visions,
and you cross all my thoughts with capital Ts,
and I dot all your eyes with kisses from butterflies.
I know your disguise is comprised completely of lies
like both of your faces are living 2 separate lives.

In the darkness I scream
but
I don't speak.
In the darkness I dream
but
I don't sleep.
All I hear is the clock

tick-tocking
and it's
sick mocking.

I think it is laughing at me, for being half as happy
as I claim that I am.
You can only place so much blame on a man
before you find him laying in the sand,
thinking he should stayed when he ran.
So now I'm feeling dim
but
not quite dull.
Which means my mind is sharp
but
something is wrong with my *soul.
1.0k · Apr 2015
Sleepless Knight
The path falls out behind me
Shaking my world into stillness
My warhorse is tired
And I am battle weary
Still we ride, even blindly
Having faith in our fulfillment
Within the shadow of the spire
I can see clearly

Among the flowers, a fair haired maiden
Softly sings my name in praise
But no one else seems to hear
Or notice her presence
Yet to me it is blatant
This vision fills most my days
But is she really in front of me here
Or do I merely feel her essence

Either way I’m left elated
By how we can beget such a paradise
I would sacrifice all of reality
To bring forth its existence
All effort is for naught, these worlds remain separated
Dreams eternally tantalize
Every waking moment of normality
Until the day we share in the writing of a sentence.
1.0k · Jun 2010
Your Love... My Dreams
There was this one time
When you were all mine
And everything was fine
Your holding my hand
As we walk through the sand
I look into your eyes
You look into mine
I see love and I see no lies
All is pefect and all is well
Walking through the halls
While they ring the school bell
I say my goodbyes
Still seeing the love in your eyes
Knowing that upon my return
You will no longer yurn
For my touch, my kiss, my love
Because I be there
Running my fingers through your hair
Telling you how much I love
And how much I missed you
You tell me it was only an hour
I smile and tell you I know
And as I hug I whisper I still missed you though
You smile and kiss me
And tell me you love me
The love I still see
And at the end of the day
When I walk away
I can't see your love
But I can feel your love
Raining down from above
Your whispered 'Ilove you's
Floating in my head
I can hear your love
Like the gentle beating wings
Of a snow white turttle dove
I lick my lips
I taste your lip gloss
Its the smae kind that I bough you at Ross
I can taste your love
Now I have all of your love
Or so it seems
This is why I wake up crying
We are together
Only in my dreams....
Anthony J. Alexander 2005
976 · Mar 2012
Heavenly Oasis
This is my oasis in the fog.
I was baptized in these waters
and I don't even believe in God.
But now;
my sanctuary is tainted barely
as you throw your rocks in my pond.

After three or four the ripples still,
can't even touch the shore
like an infant child reaching for their feet for the first time.

Clutching ... Grasping ... ******* ... Gasping ...

Searching for the lady bugs to fight against these aphids.
How could say this isn't where the rain hits
when I've never heard a single one of my songs on your playlist?

...Memories fade like a fragrance...

Or so dreamt the cool cat that slept
on the warm hood of a suburban in his suburban hood.
Born in a summer haze and died just the same.

Will you come sit by my side at the piano
and criticize the way I turn the pages?


Because kings are rulers but can't measure a thing,
all you can do is sit and count your treasure in vain.
Heavy lies the crown but don't let it weigh you down.

I feel oddly godly in this mortal skin of mine.
Sure I bleed like a human but my colors are true.
Not crimson red or royal blue.
Hell I mean, they aren't even cowardly yellow or envious green,
rather transparent; unseen.

Now I know how it feels
to splatter and shatter
like raindrops on the windshield.

Too intense and immense I can barely take it,
I quickly recoil like the foot that breaks forth
from the warmth of your blanket.
961 · Sep 2011
Words to and from the Wise
Can you explain the destruction?
No?
Then it doesn't mean that much then.
So?

Why do you try so hard to be a liar?
You know just as well as I,
there is no fire.

You're a farce, a fake, a fluke
a sham...
Just like I am.

You've done no good here,
only spilled your beer
and stained the crystal clear veneer.

You act like you've saved someone,
don't make me laugh.
Broke all of the one million pieces,
you do the math...
960 · Jun 2010
Untimely
While he held her near
He told her he loved her
He made it all clear
When it was just a blur
He erased her fear
And kept her life astir
She knew he was the one
He was something unique
When her life was undone
And her existence bleak
He gave her one reason to live
When no one was there
Though she had nothing to give
And her pockets were bare
The love they shared
Was extremely rare
But that doesn’t matter
Because life is unfair
He scrounged and fought
For days, months and years
Then went out and bought
A ring with two frozen tears
Before he asked her
He told all of his peers
He had no car
So he walked to her house
The idea was bizarre
Of her as his spouse
He would never reach that point
Unknown to him
Their lives would disjoint
His future was grim
The driver was drunk
He didn’t see her coming
His life was sunk
He just kept walking and humming
He crossed the street
The driver slams the brakes
He’s picked up off his feet
He’s alive in the air
Until he hits the concrete
Seeing what she’s done
The driver keeps going
The girl slumbes through her door
Never even knowing
After she gets the call
The tears don’t stop flowing
She wanted to be with her one
So she grabbed a gun
Whispered ‘I love you, and only you’
And ended her life too
Anthony J. Alexander 2006
953 · Aug 2010
Too Close for Comfort
Sweet sleep slips softly,
Seemingly slowly slithering

-Slightly startling-

Surrounding sanity slides sideways
Smothering senses striking silence

Shifting, searing, sight
Steering spirit swarm, smite
Sinister sounds screaming spite

Stored secrets shine, shattering
Spin splitting shrouds-
Simultaneously siphoning seconds
Spent scrawling sacred sonnets;

Since saints shunned simply scratched souls,
Slumber sincerely scares, shaken scarred surfaces so...

**WAKE UP!
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
931 · Aug 2010
Revelation 1:1
When you get like this
My fore front thinking
Goes from confident and content
To curious and contemplative

When you scream like this
My voice, tone and speech pattern
Go from soft and subtle
To sharp and strong

When you corner me like this
My animal instincts
Go from dormant and dusty
To dominant and destructive

When you're broken like this
My mortal heart
Goes from ruined and rotting
To revived and realizing
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
927 · Jan 2011
Beyond the Waking World
Love notes disguised
As poems she wrote,
Are hidden under the pillow
Where she rests her head
On the bed that holds the only world
Where true love can blossom;

Because in this one
She gave her flowers away,
But they were tossed in
A locked bin and forgotten,
Now broken hearted and feeling discarded
she runs harder then when the race started

Has a destination in mind but no end in sight
Just the moon and the light from the stars in the night
She pours out her heart, I see the scars from the fights

And as I lay my mind, body and soul
On top of hers in an attempt
To use these words to to heal anything that hurts
...We burst...

Into a realm where every reflection
Is the exact perfection you were never expecting
To discover in each other
Couldn't find it in yourself let alone another

Now the ground, once covered in moss and things
Is awesomely blossoming
With the most beautiful flowers,
Not often seen by the eyes of the waking world,

I turn to this girl

And speaking soft as all time stopped
She said to me


"You've never been here before.
But I have spent more time here than there,
for various reasons I'd rather not share.
My mind, body and soul bid you welcome
to the only place I can help them.
This is my heart.
The very essence of my core,
what you see is all I have,
and nothing more.
So please tread light,
my heavily and shiny armored knight."



While I remove my armor,
I can't help but wonder
Would I get trapped in this bliss
If we happened to kiss
The softest green blades between my toes
I've never felt grass like this
So I walk slowly toward her
I know; I may not get another pass at this.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
923 · Jun 2010
Lying in my Bed
The truth pulled over my eyes
Spewing from your mouth
She told me nothing but lies
And I did nothing but believe them
I lay on my back
Her head on my chest
Looking up at the ceiling
I thought my heart ache was your doing
But I never saw reality
All I saw were her lying truths
Lying in my bed
While she kisses my forehead
I lay motionless and dead
My love starving with no water, no bread
I need to fill this empty hole
The hole that you stole
The part of me you took away
When you turned your back the dredful day
You walked to him and I heard you say
I love you to him and not to me
And just like me
He is blind, he does not see
The same thing I failed to realize
Until it was too late
Just like me he took your bait
Walking straight into heart break
He doesn't heed my warning
Because his heart you're warming
Like a snow covered horizen
Being touched by soft rays of morning
Lying in my bed
While she kisses my forehead
And says she loves me
I heisitate to answer, I'm thinking
Half of you and half of nothing
And my blank stare tells her everything
Anthony J. Alexander 2005
917 · Jun 2010
Pen and Paper
The things I would love to tell you
Can't seem to escape my lips
And it gets so intense
That it never ends
Until I make it make sense
And put it into these pens
Then let the ink leak
It will speak what I need to
'Cause I would give anything to see through
Whats deep in your mind
So I might find which side mine can reside
Truth be told I don't really have the time
Or let alone the patience
To waste away in these places
Of nothing but empty spaces
I'll tighten up my laces
'Cause I feel like if I win these races
It erases one of your two faces
And if that doesn't make this pain tasteless
I have no idea as what the case is
My sleeves have no aces
'Cause the basics are the basis
So let's make this the greatest
Just like you I'm broken in two
Beaten and bruised and feel slightly used
No one else does
Why should we play by the rules
Should we pay up our dues
Until one of us lose
Are you sure you want to choose
You look rather confused
As to who's clues are a ruse
Let me just ask my muse for some news
But if I take her and save her
Sooner or later I'm sure I will hate her
If I'm already the pen
Then you must be the paper
'Cause I get such a rush
When our fingertips touch
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
880 · Nov 2010
Newest of New News
You're pulling on me so hard
But only pushing me away;
Seeking answers to questions
I didn't want you to ask

-Not so fast-
That's the darkest part of my past
I keep people like you
From tackling the task
Of removing this mask
Because if you did
You'd jump back and gasp

This face is contorted and sort of;
My punishment for running ****,
So you deserve none of it.

Your words are so lovely
But you know nothing of me,
Not of the things I have done
Like grabbing a hold of the sun
Stuffing it into my gun
And letting it blaze
Just to feel the warmth on my face
I'm not just a maze-

I am the most elaborate of labyrinths

And you just dropped your self in the middle
The devil plays a fiddle
But I play with riddles

What do you have to choose
When there's nothing left to lose?
Do you still play by the rules,
Or do you call it a ruse?

You're blasting those speakers
But I see your broken fuse
I'm standing here confused
Like white noise and static?...


Is that it?


Words are words
And through the curves and turns
They can't speak like we want them to,
I seek not to run from you
I'm just busy fighting my own writing
Because everything I'm hiding
Is riding, on me now
I have questions of my own
But I don't see how
You think the answers are so blatant
And you're patiently waitin'
For everything to be taken,
By my hands;

Little do you know
They are both quite full
With these burdens that I hold,
I'm not saying you should go
Just warning you to roll
With every punch that I throw
-Otherwise-
They will take you off your feet
And break you in the street
Eventually
Make you into me...

And that's the last thing
I ever want to see.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
867 · Jun 2010
Mastermind' s Love at Work
For so, so, very long...
You have loved me...
And I have loved you...
When I think all is wrong...
And all is blue...
Then I see you...
And all is well...
And I am strong...
Now you know...
And now you can tell...
How much I love you...
Now I can let it show...
And now my burden is lifted...
And my heart has shifted...
Now I feel no hatred...
But only love...
I still don't like her...
But now I can stand her...
And It's still you and not her...
But atleast you now know...
The size of the love I hold...
The love untold...
The love begining to unfold...
And unwrap between us...
As she sits in a fuss...
And I give you a kiss...
Then I crack a devious grin...
While I think of this...
Dream of us together again...
Anthony J. Alexander 2005
857 · Aug 2010
Dead Horse Beaten
Out with the old
And in with the new
I'm rather sick of you
And your shade of blue
So pack your bags and keep walking it
Because these moccosins are wearing awful thin,
These shoes can't take the softenin'
So I'm stuck scraping the **** off of them
Where's the coffin when; you're needin' one
I didn't see the gum before I stepped in it
Now I'm left with it- on the bottem of my soul
And your diamonds are still coal so I'm still cold
To any bull that you throw,
Because the catch is I can catch its, truth
As long as any tooth stuck to the roof
Of your mouth screams out about
How it's living a lie and giving the blind
False hopes through all scopes
That have you in their sights
And sleep with you at nights;
When you're leaving your side
Of my bed freezing-
I can only hope
That one day your secrets,
Will become your regrets
And your defects,
Will become your respects.
Until then I keep my hand raised
In the background; in case my sound
Will ever be found, but it seems too loud
For me to come around-
So I keep my distance
And put my name on the guest list
Like I'm just another "friend"
Looking to the future
And having faith in the end,
Like you won't be another "again"
Anthony J Alexnader 2010
840 · Oct 2011
Stop me if you can.
I don't think a lot,
but I do a lot of thinking.
I don't drink a lot,
but I do a lot of drinking.

And it doesn't seem to stop
this feeling from sinking,
or my all seeing eye from blinking.

Breifly breaking my hindsight of the future
and disrupting my focus,
but you know what the joke is?

I'm fine with that.

And I find myself finding that,
absolutely hilarious.
So I laugh in the face of the scariest
demons and monsters
that your insecurities can conjure.

I believe I can beat them
because I know they can't defeat me.

I have an army of faith,
swarming and storming towards the creatures
easily slaying the doubts and questions,
hesitations from transgressions
attempting to slow my march.

But amidst all this bloodshed,
I must admit my head
is quite clear of all fear.
Instead filled with knowledge,
and if not that then belief,
and if neither are the case,

faith takes their place.
839 · Jul 2010
Lost in Lust
I lay gentle kiss of bliss
Upon her lips
My neck is blessed by her breath
Bodies are caressed as her *******
Are pressed against my chest
A bond beyond any words
Or explanation any feeling or sensation
But sadly the translation
Is lost in lust and tossed to the dust
Now the sun is coming up
Which is the que for my escape
But instead I just wait for you to awake
Because to see your face
In the morning day break
Is a more beautiful sight
Then any sunrise could make
Too bad it's fake...
There's a snake in the grass
Under that mask so I won't even ask
For you to be taking it off
I don't want to see
What your evil side is capable of
So back up your battered car
While I patch up my battle scars
Cause only these scattered stars
Know what the things that matter are
So I guess it's a plus you see
That you're only in love with me
While your lost in lust like me
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
834 · Jun 2010
Attachments
Somewhere deep inside it stirs
And at first it felt like a curse
But now that I have a better look
Its a hand filled with everything I took
Attached to an arm that bears my strength
Attached to a shoulder that carries this weight
Attached to a chest that is hollow and dark
Attached to a head that is falling apart
So they gaze upon me with the highest bias
Like they already know which one my lie is
When theres a noose on your neck
Its hard to tell how tight your tie is
Until I got this advice life doesnt play nice
Its hard and rough
And doesnt care if you're tough enough
Or how much stuff you can bluff
Or even who you wish you could love
So when you get knocked down
Knocked out or even knocked up
Dont just give up first sit up then get up
So now I'm brushing off the dust and more so the lust
Just trust that you and me making us is a must
Because we stand like no one else can
And I'm shaping your sand with my own bare hand
Attached to this arm that can hold you for years
Attached to this shoulder that can catch all your tears
Attached to this chest that has a place just for you
Attached to this head that wishes only that you knew
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
827 · Jun 2010
Defiance of Destiny
The things I have been through
Make me question why
Why can't I die?
Why can't I just grow wings and fly
Float away to the sky
Leave earth with relieved goodbye
But no I have to stay
And watch the threads of my life fray
Until the long awaited day
Where I hear you say
See you later one last time
When my pen hits the paper
For one last rhyme
And then I lift that pen
After that one last line
Then I can take that peaceful flight
With the Gates of Heaven in sight
I'm hoping I accepted
After all I might
But I haven't done that much good
And never once did I fight
For something worth while
So now I'm setting everything right
With a soft warm smile
But no one sees me care
They say it's not my style
They say my heart is too bare
And my mind is too wild
I'm not trying to convince everyone
I just want to undo
The damage I have done
On my own life
I'll continue to bet
And through out life
I'll continue to repay that debt
Until its my time
And death I have met
So all thats left for me
Is to lie in wait
Contimplate and calculate
On the arrival of
That so atticipated date
Where for one last time
I can attempt to defy my fate
Anthony J. Alexander 2006
813 · Jul 2010
What God?
Take a seat settle down into relaxation
Listen to the speakers pound with this vibration
Let the music lift you up like some levitation
On to a level higher then the man that's your destination
Now listen to me man, this one explaination
Why no one can live up to the expectation
Of a tyrant's trials and tribulations
How can we all congrugate to be one nation
If were all lead by a mental patient
Who slaughters other countries out of desperation
Doesn't matter if you're one man or the head of a corporation
They make the truth and you're forced to face it
So the middle class has so much frustration
'Cause we're all living in oppression with no compansation
They keep us blind in hopes for a revelation
You think you're free cause you can choose your radio station
Tell me why you're plagued by the thoughts and the temptation
Of a beautiful paradise called life's vacation
No hate, no drama this is our salvation
We're all different but we make the perfect combination
We must all join forces into one vocation
If we hope to turn this dream into our creation
This is actually a verse in a song I did with a band called The Sindicate back in highschool that we still perform today. It's a lot of people's favorite song.
2007
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