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Apr 24 · 319
Choking on Grey
In a time of only black and white I am half past colored,
choking on grey.
Relentless in my decent I am sent into the fray.
Sentimental sense gone and washed away.
Clean like our hands dipped in dismay.
Can we interest you in a few "I guess it's true" well that's too bad, it's all that's being offered. And it's awfully absurd.
Can't recall when it occurred but here it is. Inside my every word. Within my every waking moment I am observed in blur and slapped with a slur attached to defining my ability to serve. Smothered in the debris of everyone before me, my book is 30 chapters of the same story.
I break from the mold demanding the ever intensifying focus of eyes wide open as I preach from the curb screaming from within my own skin. But I am speaking in tongues
and these ones, well, they are deaf anyway.
In a time of only black and white I am half past colored,
choking on grey.
Apr 10 · 387
Cost of a Kingdom
If you happen to ask what one half of me thinks of other
I would ponder upon the perplexity,
that to think less of me would mean that I don't think of me at all.

Lonely.
Darker.

Seething.
Blacker.

Slowly seeping,
deeper into the ether,
toward the sleeping creature.

The Keeper of Neither.

I can wash it off but it's all for naught,
It's in my skin now.
Spent too long on the wrong end of upside down.
Never have I ever made
or heard a sadder sound
than when I finally got a grip
just to watch it still slip
and shatter on the ground.

Am I lost or just waiting to be found?

So here I am sitting in my throne of obsidian,
drinking damnation as I dine on oblivion.
Self proclaimed king with a paper mache crown.

Am I lost or just waiting to be found?
Any chair is a throne if you try hard enough.
Dec 2016 · 448
A&E
A&E
You're too high strung wound like a top, but not well spun.
What are you, sprung?
You're too well hung to act this young.
So what if she loves every song that you've sung?
It's just because she's obsessed with the grooves in your tongue,
now,
move in the sun and taste it.

Today is beautiful and I'll be ****** if you waste it getting wasted, let's face you're too content with being complacent.

Your placement and current situation are not your destination.
However,
don't be anxious you know your knowledge is ancient and none of this "ain't ****".
Take note of the double negative.
**Anything.
Is.
Everything.
been a long time since i wrote a poem i guess this is my attempt at a new one.
Aug 2015 · 695
epoH
I fell in love with a girl named Hope,
as she wrapped her cold hands around my throat.
And while I choked, I wrote "let's elope..."
She replied,
*"Nope. Even though that'd be dope,
I only came for what's owed. So, here's your last smoke and six feet of rope."
Aug 2015 · 497
Writing Wrongs
It is ironically funny,
that in the land of milk and honey I pray for two shots of whiskey.
Tell the devil come and get me,
but, I'm not going gently.
I never met a single sorrow that I was able to drown,
yet, never had a wrong up that I couldn’t write down.
So even though my demons keep following me around,
they don’t talk to me now, they don’t even make sound.
They just lick their lips and then they look at me and grin
while I'm gripping this pen like, I'm never getting it again.
It is almost as if they think I'm writing it for them.
But why would I want to play a game that no one gets to win?
I would like welcome you to my mind; but I'm out of it.
How is it I'm proud of it and still not powerless?
It's simple, my prowess is not made of counterfeits.
And now it gets people to keep openly noticing the potency of the flow in me is known to be overly, thought provokingly, and notably infectious.
My poetry is restless, so, just knowing me is reckless.
Apr 2015 · 1.0k
Sleepless Knight
The path falls out behind me
Shaking my world into stillness
My warhorse is tired
And I am battle weary
Still we ride, even blindly
Having faith in our fulfillment
Within the shadow of the spire
I can see clearly

Among the flowers, a fair haired maiden
Softly sings my name in praise
But no one else seems to hear
Or notice her presence
Yet to me it is blatant
This vision fills most my days
But is she really in front of me here
Or do I merely feel her essence

Either way I’m left elated
By how we can beget such a paradise
I would sacrifice all of reality
To bring forth its existence
All effort is for naught, these worlds remain separated
Dreams eternally tantalize
Every waking moment of normality
Until the day we share in the writing of a sentence.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Homecoming
Are these poems
Or love letters?
I suppose there is seldom a difference
When it comes to people like us
Convectional affection
Love conceived but left unborn
Never to come to fruition
A mutual decision
At least that what I tell myself
But I dreamt of you again
Laying in the soft grass by the still waters
Like you've always been
Though I have avoided that place for some time
Call this my homecoming
My shining armor now tarnished
My sword and shield worn free of their varnish
Skin garnished with scars
I hold neither regret nor shame
That everything has changed so much
But will you love me the same
Even though I am not such?
Apr 2015 · 797
Summer Wind
I'm hyperventilating at the titillating notion
That when there was love in the air
We should have taken deeper breaths
The wind is warm in the summer
Each passing breeze is seamless
And lacks any lenience
Short gusts reveal its grievance
But upon inhale I can still taste its sweetness
I exhale
And with it a kiss
A small wisp whispers a wish
I pluck a single leaf from my tree
Untainted and pristine
An unfathomable green
Hold it within my folded hands
The wind shifts as if to say
Keep it
But I release it anyway
Apr 2015 · 1.2k
The Pen
People often say to me “I wish I could write like you.”
Which to some degree I should find humbling
But if only they knew the truth
That every time I touch the pen I'm afraid of what it might do
Behind the guise of self expression it takes possession
All defenses are torn a sunder in pain under its reign
And I am helpless to stop it
Like I would, even if I could anyway
Each tear in me is subject to its tyranny
I watch every sunset fearfully
As the veil of darkness falls
So do the castle walls
It is then that the pen will begin to possess me again
Coercing confessions of sin
However, as much I hate it
I abhor I love it more
I concede that I need it
There is a stink of distinction
Between me and this ink pen
Yet still somewhat synonymous
Whatever I hide under the surface
Determines its purpose
And it always serves it
Even if it hurts when
I bleed through this pen.
Apr 2015 · 709
Okayaos
Your soul is corrosive like acid. I can see it as it burns around the edges of your eyes, while they wander across the tips of tails from smoke trails telling compelling lost tales of torn sails and the botched sales of notched rails. But not bales of hay because, hey, who pays my bail anyway? When the rain hits, memories fade like a fragrance but I'm afraid your scent has stayed like a line from Hemingway. I never get to play on the home run hitting team it’s teeming with talent but even more talons. The claws in my paws put a pause in the clause.  The only time you take a breath from your speech is to kiss me, and even though it’s always on the lips I can never believe a single word you speak. Each sentence makes sense but my 2 cents makes none. I feel like I'm flying when in reality I'm just dust in the wind. Ash from my volcano caught in your tornado wishing I could say no. No voice inside the vortex besides the one that whispers you’re next. Escape is a poor jest. You can try to defy or deny but no one will find your hubris humorous. Though the flames are luminous they are not nearly numerous enough. So, I was forced to meddle with my mettle on a metal like melody until each element eloquently fell from me. Are you telling me you’d rather keep reveling in this felony?
Apr 2015 · 442
Envy In Me
Indigo sunrise on midnight skies
Crimson fog rolls on and over every shoulder
Soul demands that were holding hands
But our fingers never interlace as we enter space
And exit gracefully
We all together free-fall forever
Heavily bleeding hardly breathing
Heavenly seething far from leaving
Ironic how the difference between a smile and a grin is within the eyes
Are you certain your discernment wasn't descended from a serpent?
There’s purpose on the surface but everything under that is worthless  
Too many links in the chain to measure its length
Or the faith in its own strength
Beguiled by the mild high of the wild fly
Who, somehow always remembers to forget
However never has to do either
Mar 2015 · 713
Making Sense of Consequence
Welcome to the bottom of the rabbit hole.
Here lies Babylon dead and gone,
but you can have it all if that’s what your after.
Though I don’t think it will matter when it shatters on the ground.
Never have I, ever, made or heard a sadder sound.
Still, to the victor go the spoils so I didn't uproot and move
I ripped my brain stem from the soil.
Now with little to no relevance withering pedals of pestilence represent my intelligence, I fell against this hellishness to find myself comfortable and content.
I wonder what it all meant, as I sit amidst the madness I had this vision of slinking back into the blackness, like the light is too bright for me, but it just so happens the darkness wrongfully longed for me.
Alas my past filled up so fast; Hot breath on cold glass.
So I continue sitting in my throne of obsidian tapping my pitch fork on my thick horns and rubbing my reddened skin.
Searching for something to say to them and then, all thoughts of this onslaught stop when a voice rings
"Thank you, for all the tar and featherings, you have given me my angel wings."
Feb 2015 · 462
Memo: Relane
I was loving my trip down memory lane, until it became painful. I have such a new sane brain, but the same stained halo.

That’s the risk when I reminisce of the Mist, while the whole world's bliss slips through my fingertips. Still, I missed the point.

With no comprehension, flipped a coin, and I filled my vision with fiction. Like an addiction to friction, everything had to be rough including the way that I loved.

I’m not saying I live with regret, I'm just trying to learn from my missteps. As I’m walking this tight rope I’m holding no high hopes.

I'm keeping my mind open and focused only to notice, I’m still on the ground. They're crowding around demanding my crown.

And I can only scream one thing,
**I AM THE RULER I AM THE KING
Feb 2015 · 471
To: Yester Morrowday
I know an angel
with a broken halo.
I swear that
when she wears her hair back
it looks like horns.
I gave her the most
beautiful rose
the earth grows,
even though it had the worst thorns.
But of course she clutched it,
Even though others wouldn't touch it.
And as she began to bleed,
I couldn't believe,
I started to weep.
----------------------------------------------------------------­-------------------------
As it got harder to speak, part of the dream parted with me.
-----------------------------------------------------------­------------------------------
So, naturally,
I'm acting free
but, actually,
what's happening
is I'm just running from what's after me.
And I don't even have to be.
Now go ahead, laugh at me.
You have to see
I crafted me
a mastery
using practically
half of me.
Still,
I claimed the throne happily.
Now,
bow before your Majesty.

As I sit,
and I watch her
  from the chair
   in the corner.
    I forget,
     I'm not going to be here
      in the morning.
       Even though,
        Yesterday looks
         so sweet,
          as she lay there
           asleep,
            I already promised
             Tomorrow
                today we would meet.
Aug 2014 · 539
Stuck
Stuck inside my mind,
trying to find what it's worth.

I tore apart my heart,
just to see if it would hurt.

Analogies and metaphors never seem to help,
because the only one who doesn't understand them is myself.

I know you can SEE me, go ahead and take a look. I know that you can read me, I am an open book. That just so happens to get put back on the shelf. Never asked to get pushed, I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of destroying myself with my guns blazing and my lungs screaming. Ready to **** any demon that's facing me so I can, basically, make for me, a little place to be slightly above average. Everyone has baggage, but I have more than an airport and train station combined. That's why I'm make-shifting mine into something like music, that's obviously for you ears. If only you could hear half as well as you can SEE
No sweat. It's not like I expect to win this bet. But, I'm still playing my cards. Because once upon a time the moon and Mars along with the stars could have been ours. But scabs turn to scars after just a few bars. Depressed and broke I looked upstairs and spoke

"I have holes in my boxers and even more in my socks, sir. And this grey sky above is killing my sense of love. I'll put all my issues in these shoes, then on top of you. Just so I can prove the sky isn't blue, we've all been lied to."


Why do you keep running through my mind? Can we slow down and walk? Can we sit down and talk? Or are you, too, eager to become a believer?
"Maybe she's a deceiver come to steal away your leisure and keep it beneath her."

What if she's neither?

I prepared for the fight of my life. Until she held me and began to tell me...

"Tony, I'm more impressed by your tattoos than your battle wounds. Now lock away the sad in you, I came here just to rattle you and drag a smile out of you."

I replied "Hopes and tries with wide open eyes disguise the demise that hides behind the lies to the who's? The what's? The when, where's and why's."
But not the how's.
Those are in the clouds floating through your house, made of the cigarette smoke that falls out the love-hole you call a mouth. What the hell are these halls about? There's hardly any room for rooms. So it is safe to assume the broom can't go in the closet. That's my skeleton deposit, or whatever you call it.
Like I'm in a cage at a rave, I'm a rage-aholic. I love this book but find this page, appalling. I'm uncertain if I should turn it, or burn it. What if when I learn it I find the verdict disturbing?

Merely retreated, I have yet to be defeated. Maybe one day I will actually be able to slay the demons I keep at bay, like I do with all the ones that stand in my way. Face them, no fear. No one stands here, except me.

I am the ruler,
I am the king

I can outright out write any song you can sing. Pulling my pen out of my pocket, I'm unsheathing my sword because I've felt this feeling before.
Like your favorite guitar player reaching the cord that gets you every time like it snuck from behind.
I grabbed my book of rhymes and began to climb out my own grave, so I might be home late. Don't bother to wait up, I promise I'll save us.
Even though it burdens me like a thousand times of gravity,
there is not a place I'd rather be.
But, actually, I'm slightly sad to see that you're automatically having me ecstatically jumping out my seat. What this means, is my dreams are pushed out the slip stream and then it seems to have ripped seams like some chick's jeans.
I can't have that.
So how about you stand back? I'm going to need room to drop bombs...
BOOM
In this mind of mine that you can call a tomb, your face is barely seen like the moon at noon.
Your voice still haunt me, though I'll fix that soon.

Stuck inside my mind,
couldn't find what it's worth.

Tore apart my heart,
and it didn't even hurt.

Analogies and metaphors never seem to help,
because the only who doesn't understand them is myself.
Mar 2014 · 562
Lucidfer
I think I first met the Devil
on a long dark highway.
I was hitch hiking and he was going my way.
He wore the cleanest suit I've ever seen,
but drove such a ****** up truck.
Said that he was in between limousines and I said

"That's just my luck, my life is a ****, everyday she gets ******."

And he laughed until he gasped and he grasped at his chest
then he asked if he could have one of my last cigarettes.
I said

"Actually stranger, I don't get down like that.
These are packed with the bang of that cool BOOM-BAP!."


His lips were
t h i n
and twisted in the most devilish grin.
Just when I smiled back at him he said

"I know who you are, and, who you were back then. Don't you remember me friend? With no laces in your issues and your fist got misused, so come on let's be honest. What are you into? There's got to be something that tempts you."

"Man plenty of **** do. But I don't let it affect me you could have said it directly now you're only here to infect me so, I'll just be on my way if you let me."

He told me

"Tony, see it's not that easy, there are no free rides in these times and we've already gone about three miles. So what's it going to be? Your heart, your soul, or your sanity?"

The moral of my story is just, you must, be careful who you trust.
Even Lucifer was an angel once.
Jan 2014 · 1.0k
Halftermath
As soon as you heard the rain,
you came in like a hurricane.

                                             Destroyed everything

and claimed I was to blame.

Then didn't even try to clean up what's left,
just moved the mess from one room to the next.

We're oh so close in our hearts and souls
but
our minds are so distant
might as well be antiscians.
Even though I see you in my nightly visions,
and you cross all my thoughts with capital Ts,
and I dot all your eyes with kisses from butterflies.
I know your disguise is comprised completely of lies
like both of your faces are living 2 separate lives.

In the darkness I scream
but
I don't speak.
In the darkness I dream
but
I don't sleep.
All I hear is the clock

tick-tocking
and it's
sick mocking.

I think it is laughing at me, for being half as happy
as I claim that I am.
You can only place so much blame on a man
before you find him laying in the sand,
thinking he should stayed when he ran.
So now I'm feeling dim
but
not quite dull.
Which means my mind is sharp
but
something is wrong with my *soul.
Jul 2012 · 766
Presence of the Present
My heart keeps ticking so it must be a time bomb,
when it runs out all I'll say is "Hi mom."
I've gone to hell and back without even a hand basket.
I'm just one man asking, to be void of these dreams.
I am annoyed by the screams
that haunt my serene scene of the obscene and unseen.

Can your sun lit thumb tip touch the horizon like I can?
Or will you be swallowed by the monster in my darkness,
and fill up the belly of the beast?
Piece by piece you would be quite a feast.
If truth is a religion then I am a priest,
but no where near a saint in the least.

I walk the tight rope of high hopes,
with past and future on each end of my pole.
Beneath me a hole, full of lost souls.
All mixing together in a devilishly dense soup.
Senses acute, observations astute,
I place boot in front of boot.

It's a tough balancing act, some what malice in fact.
But I can not fall and there is no room to crawl.
As if I have a choice I express my distress through my voice.
I don't studder or mumble, I make my words are clear.
I don't slip or stumble, each step is sincere.
I don't falter or crumble, I've been made strong by the fear.
Come over here and lend me your ear.
Just a storyteller telling stories if you're willing to hear.
Mar 2012 · 976
Heavenly Oasis
This is my oasis in the fog.
I was baptized in these waters
and I don't even believe in God.
But now;
my sanctuary is tainted barely
as you throw your rocks in my pond.

After three or four the ripples still,
can't even touch the shore
like an infant child reaching for their feet for the first time.

Clutching ... Grasping ... ******* ... Gasping ...

Searching for the lady bugs to fight against these aphids.
How could say this isn't where the rain hits
when I've never heard a single one of my songs on your playlist?

...Memories fade like a fragrance...

Or so dreamt the cool cat that slept
on the warm hood of a suburban in his suburban hood.
Born in a summer haze and died just the same.

Will you come sit by my side at the piano
and criticize the way I turn the pages?


Because kings are rulers but can't measure a thing,
all you can do is sit and count your treasure in vain.
Heavy lies the crown but don't let it weigh you down.

I feel oddly godly in this mortal skin of mine.
Sure I bleed like a human but my colors are true.
Not crimson red or royal blue.
Hell I mean, they aren't even cowardly yellow or envious green,
rather transparent; unseen.

Now I know how it feels
to splatter and shatter
like raindrops on the windshield.

Too intense and immense I can barely take it,
I quickly recoil like the foot that breaks forth
from the warmth of your blanket.
Jan 2012 · 1.3k
hOURglass.
The skies are clear, between these ears.
Days turn to minutes, while months turn to years.

I'm set in stone,
how are you still molding your clay?
Don't look at me that way.
I take on your whole week in just one day.

So take shots and smoke ***, rather then not.
Simply forgot or just part of the plot?

Does the sleeve hold an ace or just empty space?
Whatever he's got, it seems like a lot
of riddles and

trickery.

I'll spit this heat until you're sick of me.
You're every bit of free so sit and see
how quickly we can be
each other's enemy.

With no help or aid
the trembling lending hand is afraid.
Would you have stayed?
If things were taken to the grave
instead of put on display
like they're cut into a high top fade

Powerful or powerless
carefully creeping
with a slithering prowess.
Don't tell the cowards.
Because.

They will sacrifice hours
To take what's ours

I tried to whisper your name yesterday,
but all I could do was scream.
I tried to remember your face,
but all I could do was *dream
Music turned up louder than our ears can even hear.
Slurping and gulping down elixers of courage.
Brave as we want to be dancing furiously,
but more so fearlessly.
The one you came to hear is me,
anything else is heresy.

Zombies can rock but never make you come alive.
So I press my scepter to my lips
and scream to my fist
"Make 'em move like THIS!"

...And just like that all minds are lost...
...Priceless or worthless whatever the cost...

You are not the last of us,
just one of the blastphemous.
Oct 2011 · 1.2k
The Right to Write
Alas my friend,
we meet again
as seemingly meaningful
butterfly kisses and dangerous pillow talk
turn to candle lit confessions
of past regrets and future sins.

Words whispered in the wind
float past my eardrums to beat upon my brain.
Like I'm insane I strain to strain
them out as scribbles, scrawled and sprawled,
over pages telling stories of painful ages
and chain filled cages.

Once upon a time's and used to be's
are not here's and now's.
But if ups have downs,
and smiles have frowns.

Then fortunately for my dark past behind me
I have blank paper in front of me
and I don't so much write, as

quite literally induce lucid memory with literature

only your mind can see,
in the deepest of its own depths.
More towards the chest.
Where shadows dance
like jesters, dressed to impressed her
with moves so fluent they flow like fluid, I can do it.

Plant a seed the size of a grain of sand and
watch it grow like a Beanstalk, talk
about power. Watch your watch
as the second hand moves like the hour.

Now you're in my time.

So entwined is my mind body and soul
every word I let roll off my tongue
is like foreplay to a *******.
And when I hit the rhyme at the end of the line,
its like freedom.

You sit here and bare witness to my words
climbing your defenses with the swiftness
of the worlds most ******* parcor.
So are your
thoughts that pure?
And are you sure you know how to endure
if they never find a cure?

With a view so obscured,
let me make these words clear.
I stand right here as all of your love as well as your fear.

Beyond the dark or the light.
I am the link between tranquil black and blinding white.
Even having no sight my words grip you tight.
And when my body is dead decaying and rotten,
like our children, they will not be forgotten.
Because words are the most immortal thing we've ever taught them.
Oct 2011 · 840
Stop me if you can.
I don't think a lot,
but I do a lot of thinking.
I don't drink a lot,
but I do a lot of drinking.

And it doesn't seem to stop
this feeling from sinking,
or my all seeing eye from blinking.

Breifly breaking my hindsight of the future
and disrupting my focus,
but you know what the joke is?

I'm fine with that.

And I find myself finding that,
absolutely hilarious.
So I laugh in the face of the scariest
demons and monsters
that your insecurities can conjure.

I believe I can beat them
because I know they can't defeat me.

I have an army of faith,
swarming and storming towards the creatures
easily slaying the doubts and questions,
hesitations from transgressions
attempting to slow my march.

But amidst all this bloodshed,
I must admit my head
is quite clear of all fear.
Instead filled with knowledge,
and if not that then belief,
and if neither are the case,

faith takes their place.
Sep 2011 · 1.4k
Into the Atmosphere
Digging through dreams,
to unearth confessions.
Can't you see the difference
between deception and discretion?
Or are you distracted by the cracks in the perfection?

A timid but ever relentless conscience
guides the human like responses.
Remind me that I'm only mortal
Take hold of my soul,
no need to be cordial you can be forceful.

Show me your strength and to what length you're willing to go
Question me for the answers you're not just dying
but killing to know.


These visions that I've fit you in,
you claim aren't genuine
and have no impact on real life.
But to me it feels like steel spikes
so I keep the seal tight.

If we both know what love takes
let's open up them flood gates
and give it a run for it's money.
We'll do it for Slug's sake,
because I'm not the coldest hopeless romantic rapper.

After the smoke clears
and cheeks have soaked tears
I stood and spoke here,
even if it was to closed ears.
Doesn't matter how rough the road
or that the rain is cold.

*'Cause I'm gonna be alright,
and you're gonna be alright,
you ain't gotta hold my hand
just walk with me tonight.
Sep 2011 · 961
Words to and from the Wise
Can you explain the destruction?
No?
Then it doesn't mean that much then.
So?

Why do you try so hard to be a liar?
You know just as well as I,
there is no fire.

You're a farce, a fake, a fluke
a sham...
Just like I am.

You've done no good here,
only spilled your beer
and stained the crystal clear veneer.

You act like you've saved someone,
don't make me laugh.
Broke all of the one million pieces,
you do the math...
Sep 2011 · 646
Lost Voices
Can you hear me?
Of course you cant...

You're too busy...
trying to breathe life into my screaming lungs.

But your twisting silver tongue
can never undo the damage that's been done.

Build your sickeningly silky and slick
web of words and hypocritcal contradictions.

Keep scratching the scabs if they keep itching,
but keep in mind they will start bleeding.

Dance my puppet dance,
because it make my princess laugh.

Among this aftermath,
her smile is all that I have
Sep 2011 · 1.1k
Hopes and Dreams
Horrific scenes of things unseen,
haunt my dreams with terrifying screams.

                                     Breath taking sight with colors vibrant and bright,
                              is the guiding light to my thoughts through the night.


Laying in a cold sweat my sheets soaking wet,
and I'm willing to bet I haven't even slept yet.

                                       Sound asleep in my bed with pillow under head,
                          loving that I never bled from everything that's been said


Tossing and rolling, not wanting whoever is next to me to hold me
I want you only and I need you solely

                              Cuddled with my princess, finally came to my senses.
                                                 No more defenses, just tickles and pinches.


Sick, broken hearted and thoughts always darkened,
don't know why we parted or how this all started.

                                     Calm, cool, collected, not defensive but protected.
                       Wrongs have been corrected and the right choice selected.


Overwhelmingly stressed and equally depressed,
I'm such a mess I have nothing left.**

                                                *Cup overflowing with smiles both glowing,
                              happy in knowing we don't know where we're going.
Hopes and dreams,
dashed on a rock.
She chokes on screams
or maybe a ****.

Lost to her vision,
no path to follow.
Still love how you're livin',
or is it hard to swallow?

Come now my goddess,
you know me better than that.
Let's be honest,
do you want it all back?

With a story this sad,
you won't even have to stack the deck.
Took everything you had,
and left you a wreck,

Standing on thin ice under egg shells,
screaming to the heavens that left you.
The same lie everyone else tells,
but they are deaf to you.

They have forsaken you my goddess,
just like I have.
We found what your plot is,
and had a good laugh.

So run on home,
where ever that now may be.
Shut off your phone,
and stay free.

Starting here and now,
you're just a mortal
I don't know what this is about,
But it seems rather forceful

I'm turning my back,
as well as the tide.
The walls start to crack,
and now I'm inside.

I am infected,
now my disease runs through your veins.
Quite selective,
to whom I inflict pain.

Came down from the sky,
with a witch's cackle.
Sat by my side,
and watched the fire crackle.

Don't look so weak,
everyone is powerless against me.
She turned to speak,
I screamed...
**THIS IS YOUR LIVING HELL
AND THE DEVIL HIMSELF SENT ME!
Sep 2011 · 1.6k
History of Current Events
More ment for torment then enjoyment
a story of how a young boy went
from scared to scarred, caged and barred
to ruling the whole school yard.

Self taught on how to be a man
making makeshift sense of anything he can,
looking at the puzzle with no pieces in hand
she couldn't stand the picture, so she took them and ran.

Confessions of secrets well known
eroded by the wind, worn down to the bone.
Never felt more alone in his own home,
he can only hear you if you speak in the right tone

She can see it on his face,
he needs her in this place
and if they keep this pace,
she could be one of the greats.

But can she bench press the stress he puts on her?
With nothing but faith and love as her sponser,
no sword or shield, ready to defend their honor
she came head to head with his monster.

Tested in time
by the rest of his mind,
through the mess she will find
she has less to unwind.

Wearing his shirt,
cleaning his dirt,
taking the hurt,
because she knows they will work.

Arms open and hands empty.
Wanting nothing more than to love him simply,
she keeps his focus away from the tempting.
I asked where she came from
she whispered to me gently...

*The heavens sent me.
Sep 2011 · 37.2k
Puppet Show
You have the right to love
and be loved as well.
The right to, not just break but, shatter from your shell.
Run free, run proud
sing to me and sing it loud.
Slacks and dresses spinning and twirling,
backs and arms bending and curling.
Dance like the puppets do
not seeing the strings touching you.

please puppet master loosen your grip
please god let his hand slip


Listen to me love theres no need
for the begging and the pleeding,
theres no reason for the weeping and the bleeding.
Never stray from whats true in your heart
and like a soft candle light,
it will guide you through the dark.

Now I've spoke with your master
it's not such a disaster,
he told me with no laughter,
"No one will ever out last her."

But the grey sky above has killed my sense of love
and with so much to talk about
but nothing left to say,
I bit my tongue
and just walked away.
Sep 2011 · 1.5k
Mask her aid be all
This is no show
we can go slow
cuz I don't know
how to throw snow.
Everything is always on fire,
with crackling, roaring flames
burning shames, names, bridges
and everything the same...

So far beyond an open book
just pages on the floor,
you can go ahead and look
if you know what you're searching for,
but there's a fine line between flowing and bleeding,
an even finer one between knowing and believing
and **** near none at all between showing and deceiving.


It's more about what you're taking than what you're leaving,
what you're hearing than what you're seeing.
Peering through that looking glass
I can tell you can't see past
all the cracks, that's why you ask
where I got this mask.

I made it myself; do you like it?
I can see it on your face you don't love it at all...
If you don't want to dance you can stand against the wall
and if you don't want to fall,
you can lay down and crawl.
Just keep moving through the crowd then,
but you can't stop my sound from pounding
your thoughts just as it stops;
I trace your face.


And with nothing left to ask from you
I have one last task for you.
I made a mask for you
it's petite and small
but can cover it all,
so put it on my love.
Welcome to my Masquerade Ball
Sep 2011 · 4.2k
Walls in the Halls
By herself in the dark with nothing at heart,
being so smart only plays a small part.
Take it back to start and place your mark
on the people, the faces, the parties, the places.
Tighten up your laces, we got a few more bases
but she's stuck in that stasis.
Memories fade like a fragrance
so of course the pain gets
too much to handle.
Too much flame and not enough candle.
Burn bright and burn hot
for everything we've fought.
All that you've sought is the only thing I've got.

Beyond an open book
they're just pages on the floor,
you can give 'em a look
if you know what you're searching for
there's a fine line between flowing and bleeding,
an even thinner one between knowing and believing
and **** near none at all between showing and deceiving


Every rose has its thorn but she's just a dandelion
so I blew her mind
to watch her thoughts start flying.
It's all water under the bridge now,
but I'll throw you off and burn that bridge down.
I don't want you to drown...
just want to see if your ability to sink or swim kicks in.
I only took your breath away to watch you suffocate,
but I keep hearing you wheezing
like your barely even breathing.
So deceiving,
are you walking away?
Or just leaving?

Forever is the word he tagged on the walls in her mind,
so she walked those halls
with a bucket of paint thinner and hand full of time.
Her walls are too thick too strong with all that brick
maybe a lil acid will do the trick.
But he only came equipped
with some elbow grease and lil bit of spit...
The voice in his head whispered
"Now get to work kid"
So he did;
and never learned when to quit.
Sep 2011 · 1.9k
Last night
Following dark roads all night
looking for bright lights
to spark excitement and wonder where life went
the further we break from the burden of the world
the thinner the barrier between us and the heavens
I can almost reach out and touch them
while were on these hilltops
dancing like demons and devils
letting the magic dipped paper slip split
my mortal mind from my immortal soul
as the past slithers through the crowd like a snake
lurking in the grass only rearing its head to boast its own self loathing
but being so lost in the bass and the movement
makes me not even close to human
makes me more immune then
a deaf man trying to tune in or an ignorant man assumin'
and just as me and her return from our voyage
mother earth greets us
with the most beautiful sight
these one time eyes have ever seen so pristine
like a dream as a cloud drops to kiss the crisp hilltop
once again everything stops
and I thought
even witnessing the rot that she got
from scraping the bottom of the barrel
and lapping up the sin couldn't dampen the thin grin on my chin
so smile back baby
because not even all the cumpsters, so called friends or Christopher Walken himself
can stop us.
Sep 2011 · 5.6k
Simple.
the thought is simple
the feeling the same
stealing the rain
that falls from yours eyes
sealing the pain
that spells our demise
look my love
look at the sky as the fish fly by
I would catch one for you
but I broke my pole last time I gave it a try
it made me laugh so hard I started to cry
and scream so loud I shattered the ground
as well as the man
solid like stone
yet hes broken down to the bone

lonely.

but not alone
relying solely on his phone
to spill his thoughts
and keep them his own
the puppet show is the only place
he has ever called home
taking center stage
unleashing hidden rage
she squeezed out the cage
sprend her wings for a few days
flew around the world
just to get lost in the maze
with the turn of a phrase
she reveals their life as a phase
stunned and amazed
he rolls up to blaze
no clouds in his head
just the purple haze
now it all seems so simple
the problem isn't mental
it's a matter of will
can I splatter and ****
what I tried to hold still
I'll do you one better
leave the bird with one feather
and sever the tether
bring destruction to her seduction
and then see how well she can function
flying, running, lying, *******
tell me something
is it simple now will more walls than bridges?
is your life really better as just one of his *******?
come to your senses
you're smarter than this is
giving you credit for
the raven on my shoulder
is squaking simply
*never more.
Jan 2011 · 2.9k
Goddess
Over royal tombs and palace walls,
moonlit dreams spread whispers of the rising sun.

Come to me says the sirens song
Come to me, lay down your sword, lay down your shield
Come to me


Shadowy figures gather within the dark spots of her eyes
to share secrets of why she can't see.
Vision stolen by the greatest of thieves,
capable of stealing things that aren't yours to begin with;
Nor anyone elses.

But when the stars come down to kiss goodnight
and she rests her head on the softest planets,
sprawling across galaxies, wrapping her body-less soul in a warm nebula,
the sweetest dreams will cradle her new born thoughts,
tugging at the strings to her wings,
drowning out every siren that sings and brings their destruction
with out having to touch them.

Standing on rooftops chanting paganisms toward the heavens
like a heathen taunting the sky fire.
And it comes,
like the rain from home it comes;
It always does.

And as the gentle sunrise graces her face,
lighting up and opening the windows to her soul
I see that it's burning cyan-hazel flames;
Make moonlit dreams become sun soaked realities
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Jan 2011 · 927
Beyond the Waking World
Love notes disguised
As poems she wrote,
Are hidden under the pillow
Where she rests her head
On the bed that holds the only world
Where true love can blossom;

Because in this one
She gave her flowers away,
But they were tossed in
A locked bin and forgotten,
Now broken hearted and feeling discarded
she runs harder then when the race started

Has a destination in mind but no end in sight
Just the moon and the light from the stars in the night
She pours out her heart, I see the scars from the fights

And as I lay my mind, body and soul
On top of hers in an attempt
To use these words to to heal anything that hurts
...We burst...

Into a realm where every reflection
Is the exact perfection you were never expecting
To discover in each other
Couldn't find it in yourself let alone another

Now the ground, once covered in moss and things
Is awesomely blossoming
With the most beautiful flowers,
Not often seen by the eyes of the waking world,

I turn to this girl

And speaking soft as all time stopped
She said to me


"You've never been here before.
But I have spent more time here than there,
for various reasons I'd rather not share.
My mind, body and soul bid you welcome
to the only place I can help them.
This is my heart.
The very essence of my core,
what you see is all I have,
and nothing more.
So please tread light,
my heavily and shiny armored knight."



While I remove my armor,
I can't help but wonder
Would I get trapped in this bliss
If we happened to kiss
The softest green blades between my toes
I've never felt grass like this
So I walk slowly toward her
I know; I may not get another pass at this.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Dec 2010 · 1.3k
I Remember the Days
I can clear these fence posts in one jump now...

But I remember the days when I would have to peek through it's cracks to catch a glimpse of the magical world that lay just outside them.

Stepping foot on grounds that haven't been touched by any shoes of mine in quite some time now...

But I remember the days when they had lights on side of them and I would jump higher and higher to try and make them brighter and brighter.

Sitting on that old swing set with my knees almost in my chest now...

But I remember the days when my feet dangled at the bottom of my legs reaching for the ground but never reaching it.

Standing in a field that's borders are clear because it's empty and plain now...

But I remember the days when the blackberry bushes covered near half of it's grass and I carved out a path to my first sanctuary that sat in the very back.

Awkwardly walking up those tiny random stairs fully bending down to slide my hands across the rails now...

But I remember the days when they were just waist high, the perfect size and I'd fly up them hitting each step with flawless stride.

Ducking under the monkey bars to avoid the blunt force trauma of smacking my head, I am much taller than them now...

But I remember the days of when I would climb onto the shoulders of friends to hang from them for as long as my fading grip would allow me.

Resting my weeping head on the this picnic table that is obviously too small for the likes of me now...

But I remember the days when I'd stand with ferocity on that table top and rain down my terror on Beth and Peggy Sue like any good Godzilla would do.

In a world where everything is instant and constantly fast paced, time seems slower in this place; untouched by age.

These walls and halls still echo my childhood laughter. As my now calloused hands capture my, adult sized, tears I silently thank whoever spent the years keeping this piece of history an unseen mystery to the ever flowing and changing universe.

No matter what turn my path takes I'll always remember the days when nothing could make greater escapes.

This man's weather worn face sits eye to eye with the unforgiving world now...

But behind the barrier of memories I am still a boy...

Spying on the non believers and teachers through fences that bordered my secret lair running up and down random stairs stomping my light up shoes on each step that rests just beyond a rusted swing set with chains as long as the sky so I felt like I could fly climbing mount bestfriend just to hold on for dear life like the monkey bars are as high as stars dropping down on top of the world and letting out a roar to scare the girls followed by belly laughter that shook the rafters....

That world has been morphing and contorting for quite awhile but I still smile

Because back then... I ruled it
In the very same way I do today.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Dec 2010 · 656
I am...
I educate the ignorant,
     but am not a teacher

I spread the truth,
     but am not a preacher

I fight for my life,
     but am not a soldier

I shape my future,*
     *but am not a sculptor


Everything that you are seeing
Everything that I am being
Is the only thing I can
Fore I am, solely what I am

                  ...A man...
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Dec 2010 · 654
You Don't Have to Say it
Soft lullabies of the sirens song
Are sang with no remorse
Thinking this could be a trap
As I lay my head back
Worlds collided
Behind each eyelid
While she slept
Every secret she kept crept
Through the darkness of the room
Seeking to consume all we assumed
Swallowing me whole
As I try to keep hold
Of my curiousity
And not let my thoughts
Run off with me
Pulling the questions from under me

What is she wondering?
Why does the rain keep thundering?
How long will her dreams keep her away from me?
When will she wake up?
Where will she be?
Who will she see?


Will it be me?
Or just the reminiscence of broken memories
I fought everything she brought
And I thought that I taught myself better
Yet here she sleeps
As I watch her dreams seep
Into the deep depths
Where her nightmare-ish demons rule
The one and only thing I can do
Is plant the seed and hope it doesn't bleed
It's not up to me what she lets run free
But observing her wishes and hopes
Grow and pop like over inflated balloons
Is taking a tole on me
She's unknowingly breaking the whole of me
And picking the pieces apart
Sticking them back at the start
In my sickening blackened heart

From behind the scars
Her mind and heart whisper to me

"She won't let us tell you
But we're tired of the struggle
So we speak to you while we still have control
This girl that you hold...
Has a skull full of doubt
And it starting to push us out
It's shade of blue is shining through
So we don't know what else to do
We might just let her love you...
If you gave us the chance
We could make her legs dance
Then she would love you...
With no remorse, we promise, she would love you"


I peer upon the closed windows to her soul
And want nothing more
Then to rip them open and scream

I LOVE YOU!

Because I want her very spirit to hear it.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Nov 2010 · 880
Newest of New News
You're pulling on me so hard
But only pushing me away;
Seeking answers to questions
I didn't want you to ask

-Not so fast-
That's the darkest part of my past
I keep people like you
From tackling the task
Of removing this mask
Because if you did
You'd jump back and gasp

This face is contorted and sort of;
My punishment for running ****,
So you deserve none of it.

Your words are so lovely
But you know nothing of me,
Not of the things I have done
Like grabbing a hold of the sun
Stuffing it into my gun
And letting it blaze
Just to feel the warmth on my face
I'm not just a maze-

I am the most elaborate of labyrinths

And you just dropped your self in the middle
The devil plays a fiddle
But I play with riddles

What do you have to choose
When there's nothing left to lose?
Do you still play by the rules,
Or do you call it a ruse?

You're blasting those speakers
But I see your broken fuse
I'm standing here confused
Like white noise and static?...


Is that it?


Words are words
And through the curves and turns
They can't speak like we want them to,
I seek not to run from you
I'm just busy fighting my own writing
Because everything I'm hiding
Is riding, on me now
I have questions of my own
But I don't see how
You think the answers are so blatant
And you're patiently waitin'
For everything to be taken,
By my hands;

Little do you know
They are both quite full
With these burdens that I hold,
I'm not saying you should go
Just warning you to roll
With every punch that I throw
-Otherwise-
They will take you off your feet
And break you in the street
Eventually
Make you into me...

And that's the last thing
I ever want to see.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Oct 2010 · 1.2k
Newly Familiar
Desire is the fire that burns
Through my entire attire,
Forcing my naked soul into this brightly lit
But deceivingly sick world-
That this angel, this girl
Is the queen of;
She is everything we can only dream of
Yet she stands in front of me,
Of all the people,
The most broken and most evil
She stand in front of

-ME-

And I can't figure out if life is over
Or if I am just sleeping,
Because last time I checked
I only see her while I'm dreaming,
And when it's this pitch black
I feel like I'm screaming-


But there's nothing but silence
...
And while it tears me apart
This is the only way
I can reach out from the dark
Because my mind can not find
The words held in my heart
That's why this was written in blood
From the start.
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
..­.
..
.
Anthony J. Alexander
Oct 2010 · 726
It's ok.
The road is long and rough,
                    but it's ok;
These shoes are brand new.
The forest is dark and ominous,
                    but it's ok;
My candle is bright.
The rain is pouring and painful,
                    but it's ok;
I have my coat.
The wind is powerful and cold,
                    but it's ok;
My heart pumps warm blood.
                    So its ok,
                      it's ok...
              it's ok...
       it's ok...
**I'm ok.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Oct 2010 · 716
Demon Book
Destruction rains down
From a storm stricken cloud
The wind muffles the sound
Of the rain drops shattering the ground


Like the concrete is made of glass
Being not the first but the last
Is the only thing I could ask
If she would ever read past


The cover of the book
To give it one more look
Or hand back what she took
My bishop, knight; and rook


Her darkness harbors creatures
With the all her demon's features
Why should it be me first?
Does she really think I can defeat her's?



These walls were built with the intention
To keep all of mine fenced in
In hopes one day to send them
To some other dimension


Alas; I have fought three or four
Of her demons before
But when I asked for more
She locked the door


So I can't keep believing
That she's going to keep reading
The truth is she's leaving
And I still feel like I'm bleeding.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
I can't stand the thought
Of someone taking you
Breaking you, or even making you

Label me selfish
But at least I know what I want

All my 1,000 words
Are short and sweet
But you can't even taste them
Let alone see

You're blind, deaf and dumb
To my 100 meter run
Now my legs are tired
So I'm going to sit this one out

The breeze feels good
But I question It's worth
Lost by the map
There's no treasure in this dirt

The offer still stands
I won't take it back
But the longer you sit
The more it has slack

One day it will reduce
To a coiled wire
Just a another song
Sung by my choir

Carried by the  birds
That brought the first one
Buried under the words
Only ones that burnt them

Your wings can flap
The trees will sap
Your hands can clap
The thunder will crack

What else is new
The sky isn't blue
Only these thoughts of you
Can make it true
So what am I left to do

You're nothing but a lumber jack
Come to cut me down
But when the hungers back
You're nowhere to be found
So as I fall to the ground
I am the only one to say TIMBER
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Sep 2010 · 1.3k
I of the Storm
My nightly routine now days
Is to sit and watch the sun raise
Above these graves
Not to absorb it's majesty
But to observe the tragedy
As the warmth flows though my veins
Wishing it could chase away the shame
And anything that looks the same
Now here comes the rain
No here comes the hurricane
With winds stronger
Then any demon I've fought, bottle I've bought
Pill that I've popped or drug I've dropped
So more often then not
I've sought to put holes in your plot
In hopes to stop the thought you brought
From taking over your mind this time
It's not as easy as you think
When you stand on the brink
Of being extinct and begin to sink
But my instinct tells me
What I don't understand
Am I any less of a man
Just because I can surpass your demands
And land in the sand with a helping hand
You have too much on your plate
And I'm looking for a meal to steal
But you think I'm carefully
Searching for clarity and apparently
I can't handle the hunger
I wonder how you got under
This wrong impression
Was it the aggression
Or just it's direction
I pack my pistols with pencils
And point them at these pages
With faith that it's contagious
Run to or run from
Any and everything under the sun
And when you're done if you come
With some type of gun
Be sure to take it off stun
And make that *** weigh a ton
You wake up shirtless on purpose
The thought that comes first is
Was it worth this?
I'm not going to lie
I still wonder why you even came by
Because through my eye view of you
Everything is plain and clear
But when you SEE me
Everything fades and smears
So what's it going to be
I'm not settling for "friend"
I'm not going to buy it
I want to hear the wind again
It's far too quiet...
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Aug 2010 · 657
My Eye View of You
Mourn for the lost
Have scorn for the cost
It was too much to ask
And it happened too fast

Run from desire
Seek shelter in the fire
Run to the end of it
And witness the oblivion

Unveil your darkness
Harvest the heartless
Cower from your shadows
Never drift from the shallows

Cautious and wary
Fore the unkown is scary
Courage will be needed
If demons are to be defeated

You want to SEE I'll show you
Come with me I'll hold you
This wind can take us where ever
So lets not worry about the weather.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Aug 2010 · 931
Revelation 1:1
When you get like this
My fore front thinking
Goes from confident and content
To curious and contemplative

When you scream like this
My voice, tone and speech pattern
Go from soft and subtle
To sharp and strong

When you corner me like this
My animal instincts
Go from dormant and dusty
To dominant and destructive

When you're broken like this
My mortal heart
Goes from ruined and rotting
To revived and realizing
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Aug 2010 · 953
Too Close for Comfort
Sweet sleep slips softly,
Seemingly slowly slithering

-Slightly startling-

Surrounding sanity slides sideways
Smothering senses striking silence

Shifting, searing, sight
Steering spirit swarm, smite
Sinister sounds screaming spite

Stored secrets shine, shattering
Spin splitting shrouds-
Simultaneously siphoning seconds
Spent scrawling sacred sonnets;

Since saints shunned simply scratched souls,
Slumber sincerely scares, shaken scarred surfaces so...

**WAKE UP!
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
Aug 2010 · 857
Dead Horse Beaten
Out with the old
And in with the new
I'm rather sick of you
And your shade of blue
So pack your bags and keep walking it
Because these moccosins are wearing awful thin,
These shoes can't take the softenin'
So I'm stuck scraping the **** off of them
Where's the coffin when; you're needin' one
I didn't see the gum before I stepped in it
Now I'm left with it- on the bottem of my soul
And your diamonds are still coal so I'm still cold
To any bull that you throw,
Because the catch is I can catch its, truth
As long as any tooth stuck to the roof
Of your mouth screams out about
How it's living a lie and giving the blind
False hopes through all scopes
That have you in their sights
And sleep with you at nights;
When you're leaving your side
Of my bed freezing-
I can only hope
That one day your secrets,
Will become your regrets
And your defects,
Will become your respects.
Until then I keep my hand raised
In the background; in case my sound
Will ever be found, but it seems too loud
For me to come around-
So I keep my distance
And put my name on the guest list
Like I'm just another "friend"
Looking to the future
And having faith in the end,
Like you won't be another "again"
Anthony J Alexnader 2010
Aug 2010 · 16.4k
Short and Sweet
I can't tell you what it is,
but I know it exists.
It sounds like the winds- feels like a kiss,
smells perfectly sweet- tastes like it too.
And if I could see it,
I bet it would look just like you.
Anthony J. Alexander 2010
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