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1.2k · Dec 2017
Itadakimasu
Anora Emporium Dec 2017
Let's eat
words
bite tongues
empty lungs
and practice speaking
the languages of love.
1.1k · May 2017
Just a man in the end
Anora Emporium May 2017
I name him Alchionidas
But his soul is more like Midas
For everyone he touches turns to gold
He has the hands of a healer
Speaks in waves, a strong demeanour
And his honour was a legend to uphold.

But legend turned to myth just as anger leads to hate and I suffer more than Diabolos does in hell.

He's a man that you may meet
And for me, spit at his feet
For I know more than I do care to tell.
Θα σ'αγαπώ για πάντα.
769 · Aug 2017
Retribution
Anora Emporium Aug 2017
Time is not the enemy,
but justice
for the perpetual
blasphemy
of loving
selfishly.
717 · Feb 2017
The burden of my dreams
Anora Emporium Feb 2017
Do you dream?
I dream all through the night
I thrash and sweat
The bed soaked in fear
Regret
Words never said
Worlds never met
In the morning I wake and the play is vivid in my mind
My heaving chest pulling sharp cold breaths
I lay staring at the ceiling

Silence
If not for the thrum of blood against my ears
Darkness
If not for the vibrant images of my fears

When I was a child my dreams would be surreal
Fanatical
Dark
Unworldly
Visions so unfamiliar that I would wake in relief
I would sigh and the exhale would take with it the memory of my frightful bedtime fantasy

Now I only ever dream about a man
And his family

Every night I'm swept into the agonising reality
That actually
My dreams are no longer fiction
But rather a dictation of my actions

There is no exhale when I wake
I gasp for sweet air
*******
Suffocating
Suffering
All in the name of nothing

I wake but I never slept
The man has had years to forget
Why are you so obsessed he says
Or I imagine he would if we met
I live in this each night
A land of frightful hate
Of turning backs
Of broken plates
Back handed
Reprimanded
Demonised for the crimes of a depressed and desolate actuality
This is my fate
To always be late in my knowledge
To learn lessons after the fact and when the fact of the matter is I no longer matter-

He runs from me.

In the deepest subconscious I release my fears
This heart yearns his
And he will never know.

I bow under the burden of my dreams.
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
There's honeydew on your lips
So sweet and soft
A whisper and a kiss
Gentle bliss
We sit, tired
Hearts racing
Lives accumulating
Around a single point in time when the air was pink and warm and beautiful and at this point where
You were mine-
My heart glowed and shone for you
And yours burned like a star
And the world was new
And we created life
Water and soft grass
That you laid me down upon
And touched your lips to mine
So pure and naive
Said we would never leave
Beneath the evergreen trees
I came for you.

Things we used to say
Forever and a day
Have become a bitter truth.

Forever only exists in the memory of you.
It was his first kiss that I stole
And I will never return it
For it is the only thing keeping my soul alive
694 · Mar 2017
Pity the woman and her baby
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
The bus halted to a stop
Doors opened
No one got off

A man was walking alongside the road
Grey clothes once black
Cropped hair
Ink on his collar, neck and back
His attention elsewhere, he walked past the bus

Where there sat a woman with a baby in a pram
Black tank
Hair thrown in a bun
Poorly dyed
Skin loose
Skin dyed
I imagine she would have been beautiful once
She wasn't old, just tired
Past her peak
Which she reached at 16

Sitting on the bus since I got on
She jumped up when the man walked past the open doors
JAY
She shouted
She knocked on the window
He raised his head to look at this shouting woman
JAY
DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR BUB?
She threw her arms towards her baby
He shook his head
Kept walking
JAY
She sat back down
Incredulous at his behaviour
She shook her head
Folded her arms
Touched her baby
She seemed to relax
But from behind I watched her feet twitch
Slapping a ***** thong against the floor
In a motion that revealed her aggravation
She huffed
Sighed
Wiped her eye
The man turned away when the bus drove by.
I envy her reckless passion but I pity her inability to control the emotions that she releases. I always run from the strength of passion, maybe I'm the one to pity.
~
This is a true event that I witnessed sitting on the bus at 2 in the arvo. It struck a chord within me and I knew it had to be documented.
639 · Mar 2017
Cronus
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
I ran from him to escape the possibility that he might run from me.

Does he fear me?
It wouldn't be so.

To him I am a stranger
The reminder of a failure
Of a love that could not surrender
Her whorish nature

Or maybe that's just what you said to me the night you ate my soul.
625 · Mar 2017
The mind maps the heart
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
Ask me if I love you
I'll say no

If I'm honest

My love is true
But who are you?
A man I used to know
Two years, a boy would grow
Two loves, his heart would show
The man who loves another
Lands the winning blow
Don't overthink
For the mind
Maps the heart
620 · Mar 2017
The other side of the door
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
Just so that you may understand
I always write about one man
Except for this one anecdote
For comparison, I also wrote
Of another.

~

It was one week before I left him
That I found myself on the other side of a door
Struggling against the brute force of a man
Determined to enter
To shout and yell and accuse and spit fire from his mouth.

Never had I been in such a position
My body trembled from the intensity, I tensed
My muscles and my mind
I held my own against the man who sought entry
Sweat mixed with tears on my cheeks
And in this bleak moment
I knew true weakness.

Pushed back against the floor
I scrambled for purchase
Cool tiles against my back
A reminder of my lack in integrity
Like a cold claw squeezing my heart
Twisting and morphing

Until unrecognisable

If only I could lie still
He might not see me.


I thought nothing could get worse
And I had never been more wrong.

In two and a half years
Only once did I shed tears that scarred blood into my fears.

But now that man I knew is gone
And the reality that I divulge
Sees me on the other side of the door
Every time.
Pushing
Grunting
Struggling to perform the simplest task of breathing in between the tears that threaten to choke and the lies that never broke
Free.

On the other side of the door I push and strain and my heart palpitates
A man so filled with hate
Is trying to get in!
On the other side of the door.

Promises of safety and love can only come with a promise of solidarity.
Treasure the first man on the other side of the door
For this man has broken only once
Whilst the other has broken every night
My will to fight
My only right
To love again.

Where were you?
Your promises were empty
Because it is now most that I need thee
When the fear overcomes everything within me
I slide down the length of the door
Sink into the floor
Wood slick with sweat
Cheeks wet
Throat hoarse from screaming
Silently

And where are you?
Feeding promises to another.
Maybe one that you can save
But your lies are all the same.

I should have learned the level of abuse I could take
Because once the rate had risen
I had learned it far too late.
Come back and beat on your side of the door
I will open it and you may beat me
Until your mind is clear
And your love returns
Then we will both beg for forgiveness.
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
My home suffered disintegration through the humiliation of my betrayal.

Spray the beams that hold us together
Coat and cover
Will not last forever
But rather, I feel
To turn the wood into steel
Would be an altogether extensive
More expensive solution
But completely worth every minute.

A fall.
A rise.
A compromise.

To break every piece down to nothing and build it back up into something new and strong
With every chance of failure
I could be wrong
But in the end it would last longer.

Maybe this is what I have to do
To make a home with you

And what a home it would be.
I need to get my **** sorted before I can even think about loving you.
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
Every time I see my eyes
I think about how brightly they used to shine
How they would light up when I saw you
When I saw myself
Before I ruined what we had
They were a window
Open to the world
Of new possibilities
And the love that protruded from you like a beacon
Reflected so profusely in the window
That I viewed out from
But when I closed the curtain
They lost their reflection.

Realising the error of my ways
I try to grapple with the hooks
And the silk tears
Shreds in a heap on the floor
And there is no window
Just a wall.

When I look in the mirror
My eyes have lost the blue that soared above skies
Now only grey remains as a reminder of the lies.
Maybe in seven years I will see you, free from our shattered past.
My only wish is that the hardness in my eyes is never mirrorred in yours.
Anora Emporium Apr 2017
Vile clings to the throat
Rich and thick
A dark sludge that pulses with each breath
It quivers under the tongue
Nothing sweet is left
Just the bitter bite of a betrayed fantasy
Tendrils wrap around the tongue
Pulling
Tugging
Twisting until the flesh is as warped and demented as my soul

For you see
I am the wasp that stings your mouth with kisses
and releases bile, enough to feed an empty vessel

There's a tickle, a twitch
The bile is alive!
You spit poison
Thickness rises up
Pries open your lips
Oozes then splutters in a violent exhale
Your chest is coated in a black concoction where it bars the entrance to your heart

The bile sheens and glistens
Laughing at the horrors it has delivered, it mocks your naivety

And there where it shines
My face looks back at you
Reflected in the sick.
You cannot speak
You cannot swallow
I offer you my hand
The choice is yours to follow
510 · Nov 2017
I am an artist
Anora Emporium Nov 2017
I am an artist
I paint images of myself in the eyes of others
Different portraits with different expressions
Hung in a gallery
that no one visits
509 · Mar 2017
When I weep, it burns
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
How can you fix my mind when my body is the blade?
Why do I search for more when I destroy what is made?

The hand that touches my soul can only be burned
Gentle
Shh
Love has to be earned
Words are hollow
Lies that I swallow
It was here that you learned
That your first love
Was the woman you wallowed
And
To hell it will send you.

Your gentle skin
How I long to caress
But I digress
This betrayal has solidified you
Against the demons of this world
Fooled by bright futures and long fingers
There are no stars in the eyes of demons
Only fire.
Only fire resides in the eyes of liars
When I weep
It burns
450 · Mar 2017
The horror that haunts me
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
I get nervous around the places I know you live
Or might travel to
Places we have been before
Leave a trace of you
My heart races
Skin shivers
My hairs prickle up as if trying to reach out for you
This I cannot escape.

But nothing could have prepared me for that one shift in time where you stood right before me-

so
close

close enough to touch

to see the curls in your hair

softly framed eyes

the wrinkles on your hands

the swell of your strength

My heart exploded within my chest
Like a mouse in distress
Beating so fast I could have died
From shock
Or surprise
Excitement..

But pride
Or fear?
It held me back and I could not bear to look at you
But when I did
Seemingly safe behind a barrier of glass
You looked right into me
Our eyes met and it was just as the first time I saw you
And the last
The barest exhale of breath
Nothing left
Just the tunnel between your eyes and mine
Your history and mine
Your love and mine
Snatched away in a moment
That lasted eternity

My love, you are the horror that haunts me.
Accompanies the moment described in "The heart tears the flesh"
432 · May 2017
The final letter
Anora Emporium May 2017
Granted

it's not your fault that he chokes me

However

it was you who made promises of love eternal

It seems abuse was an omission in your mission for false honour and trust.

"To be honest, my biggest and I suppose only fear now is losing you, and that used to make me feel amazingly insecure. But the truth is I 'gotcha' forever. I have you and I would never let you go. You're mine just as I am yours in every possible way. I suppose what I'm saying is very possessive and selfish but I could have it no other way. I am yours eternally, and we will be together as long as our immortal souls exist. I love you, with all my heart, body and soul. I love you more than words can tell and I hope that my actions show that."

They don't.

Regardless

I don't blame you for the present
I do for the past
As for my future?
There is none.
You chose your pride over saving your love
It says a lot more about who you are
To have abandoned without effort
I truly hope you have changed
For her sake.
Anora Emporium Aug 2017
Envy was the girl
Who wanted what the other had.

Pity was the woman
Who spoke with woven words
To a girl lost to blissful deceit.

His words are laced with honey, Honey
Sweet to the taste
Gentle to the touch
See in the midst of his attraction
Attracts the maggots and the flies

But I cannot despise
A greedy child
A scrub that's wild
Without remorse
As this discourse lies empty
I am the sentry to his force

And on the third bite I realise
I am no longer hungry.

I have been kissing
Where the insects feast on honey.
Truly scrumptious
Utterly disasterous
A sting more viscous than a wasp
421 · Mar 2017
Epione
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
When I was younger
Not a child
Just after
I named a man my god.

He breathed into me a swirling swell of madness
And generous with his kindness he filled me with the sun.
He spoke a tongue that promised of forever
A softness that swept along my spine
A voice, rich as mulled wine
A heart overflowing
A love ever growing
We swelled without abandon
And at random I would say
To this man
You are my god.

It was the future that did tempt us
But a god such as Asclepius
Needed not to be wounded
By a sinner of the world.
Had I been a healer
And in my god, a true believer
Soothed the pain
Met fire with rain
And doused the darkness might I retrieve her
The mortal woman that I stole
From a god.

Noble and broken
This man was awoken
Delivered to the ground
Where he found
A demon in disguise.
And as ichor pooled from the excavation my temptation had created in his heart, my god became a mortal man doomed to wander in the deepening tresses of my mind.


When I was older
Not as now
Slightly colder
I saw the man I once named my god.

Out of the corner of my eye
I faced a lie
Told many years before
About a man who made me tremble
My hands quaked
Heart ached
I blanched and ran from the power of his soul
Soothed my head against a wall and beat the thoughts away just as my heart did beat and thud and rumble and pound against my ears-
For my fears were all coming true
That I would see you
But not talk
Or touch
Or gaze upon
For your love you cast on another
And I, the bother, shook in your presence
Truly terrified
Yet drawn to the essence
Of a god.

When I was younger
Not a child
Just after
Full of spirit and laughter
And a future with one
When the world tasted sweeter
And our love, never finer
Invincible as the sun
I named a man my god.
Now my god caresses another
And to her he gave the moon.
413 · Sep 2017
Uncensored love
Anora Emporium Sep 2017
A ***** ***** blood from a phallus
with talons that dig deep with malice
into the soft malleable flesh of man.

Perhaps your mother was right when she titled me so.

A *****, however

A ***** buries his **** in holes
ten fold over after swearing to the sanctity of monogamy and honour
after blaming his old lover for the depression and behaviour
that saw men fight with bloodied fists, wrists split and drying
a ***** splits women over his **** like stuffing a pig with a stick that throbs for more meat
a ***** justifies his actions by placing blame on his ex
but Honey, you love ***
and devouring those flowers
was all you

if drinking was a power you'd be superman
if self-destruction was a job you'd be a multi-faceted flaccid rat faced and rancid multi-billionaire
if hypocrites ran for government there would be no one better to elect as president than your sorry ***
So excuse me if I pass but my heart wasn't built to last a hurricane.

I am still alive in this underground prison
livid in the hole that you shoved me in
take a shovel and find out
if this dead woman breathes
and *******.
Anora Emporium Dec 2017
But I can climb mountains
In my mind and in the world.

I can build a fortress for my career
Where I am the nurturer of a thousand dandelions
Whose choices deliver a challenge that leave me breathless and my heart racing in exhilaration.

I can smash boulders with the force of palms pressed flat against desperation.

I can ask for help without being owned and I can give it without losing myself.

I can build, destroy, rectify, satisfy.

I can change my mind
And it isn't an issue.

There's "need" and then there's you.

You're the icing on the cake
And for the mean time I'll just watch my weight, thanks.
368 · Mar 2017
You stole my eye
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
I see through a fractured glass
Never will I have the option to ask
What do you think?
When two lives split
So do two minds
And I'm left wondering
What do you think?
Events, they pass
Moments in time
Love never lasts
But your opinion was mine
To value and crave
An intelligent mind
So brave
Curious
Sceptical
Blind
We fell in love
I gave you lies
And in the end
You stole my eye

I'll never again know the thoughts that you conjure and it is this, my eternal punishment, that haunts me.
Anora Emporium May 2017
To the moon
And back again.

A promise where swords clashed and the people sang of a prince and princess who ruled the land.

With a hand dipped in fire
He sought to protect her
An order for cobble and steel to rise high above the sky where the princess would be kept
She wept
Within the walls of a tower
The prince, his love deceived her and she shrivelled and cried
Trapped inside
The lonely embrace of rock and ruin
Love ran truant
And passed.

In a small room at the top of a spire the hopes and dreams that they once did aspire for were locked inside and the prince, he had no key.

Crazy, even lazy, the princess, fighting a darkness she did not comprehend
an attempt to fend for herself lead to the betrayal and blame on the man who shall never be named-

The prince.

Who's only escape was to sit by the window where the moon filled the room with light and a sweet embrace that tickled and tempted the touch of a prince.

She winced when he fell.

Didn't yell
For love doesn't tell when to sell your soul for another
until the time is over and done.

Now the prince, he rides under free skies with the moonlight on his saddles as a king with a queen of the night.

Now the princess, trapped in a tower built on selfish desires, the darkness bouncing off curved walls and the thoughts bring with them a self destructive power-
she cowers within herself.

Her only respite to watch from the window- but look!
Her stomach did lurch
There the new king gallops for the church.

She begs for the gallows
Screams that he cannot hear
For he has no care
Her heart shreds, her body bare
falling down spiralling stairs to reach the end of an abysmal reality.


And such is the story
Of a man who loved me all the way to the moon
And never came back again.
If she was the moon, I thought I was the sun. Turns out you were the light and I was no one.
354 · Jun 2017
Worth no more minutes
Anora Emporium Jun 2017
Nothing to be done
Everything to imagine
A mind to unravel
Gentle hands that open the navel and feed me slices of sweet flesh
This man is gone
I cannot forgive him
For he has done nothing worthy of retribution
He hides behind the ability to block
Out of sight
Out of mind
Your height has lessened since we last met
The unspoken word, one day you will regret
Chances to resolve with a solvent and a moment worth my time
But no longer worthy of me
I give no more to the damaged soul
Nothing to be done
You will miss the screams when the world falls silent and you are truly alone.

I loved you for two years too long, now it is time to rip you from my life, despite how much it hurts. You can never relinquish this, for the gate that closes with this poem was the last door open. Goodbye, mystery man in the library, I will forever remember the blessings you bestowed upon my youth. I am alive because of you and I thank you, but now you are killing me, and it has to end.
353 · Apr 2017
Oh sweetie
Anora Emporium Apr 2017
I was thirteen when my mum died in a car crash.

When I was thirteen
The easiest way to deal with my feelings was to feel nothing at all
To cut my self off from the torment
Desensitise myself
It no longer existed
I learnt at a young age
That to survive
You had to forget
I learnt at 17 that it all comes flooding back
A tsunami that crushes the life out of all who dare to breathe in its presence and walk near the waves
You held me
You said

Oh sweetie
Our children will never have a grandma

Silence
Followed by a shudder
And another
You squeezed me tight against your chest as I wept and for one moment recognised the agonising reality
For all my fealty I was weak.

It was the worst thing
You could have ever said
Because we would never have those children
I learnt when I was young too young
But I didn't learn my lesson
I stopped feeling
The pain
The screaming emptiness in my chest
It tears me apart
It's surreal
How can someone feel like this
Is this what you felt?

Every minute the needle in my chest sinks deeper
Pinpointing the darkest moments
The moment
That she left me
That I left you
I didn't let myself feel any of it
It would have killed me
It is killing me
There will never be any love stronger than yours
There can never be anything better
And if that is the case
Then what is the point to living
A life without love
Is a life never lived
So why should I bother
Riding out the storm
When I could lie in the eye
Survive in my mind
And in these words
That you will never read.

If I could have introduced anyone to my mother, it would have been you.
351 · Feb 2017
The paradox
Anora Emporium Feb 2017
I know I know I know I know I know

I left because I didn't know, couldn't grow, I sank beneath the very being of my soul

I fought the right fight for the wrong man and the wrong fight for the right man

But I wouldn't have known to have that fight unless I'd left
If I'd stayed I would have dried and staled and hated and lived without life

But cause I left now I know what I did, what to do, how to love and find new
I know how to save and surrender and give and touch and heal and breathe

But I couldn't have known without leaving and I couldn't have stayed never knowing

Now I know
I know I know I know I know I know
I'll know forever till the end
The paradox, my only friend.
Neither can exist while the other survives
Anora Emporium Jul 2017
He became a crude man who ***** for fun and wears hypocrisy like a winter shawl.

The visage he creates is a poor camouflage for the creature within.

Only a fool could love him.

Oh how irony laughs at mortals.
326 · Mar 2017
The heart tears the flesh
Anora Emporium Mar 2017
You looked just as shocked as I felt.
What did we become
To always speak in past tense?
Even if there was no one else
Leaning against the fence
You never said hello.
Have I worn that shirt I wonder?
I would wear it every day if I could.
323 · Jul 2017
The martyr fears the flame
Anora Emporium Jul 2017
Little man
Little man
Do you revel in the darkness?
Is your distress a discomfort
triumphant as the water rises?
Wrapped in solemn disguises
When did you yearn for the broken embrace
Laced with a never ending dusk?

Oh, but you must be proud.

The tenebrosity of her persuasion
Draws you in, a baby to candy
Feeding the depression with a concoction of sweet whispers and raking nails across once strong skin now a back that weeps of foul misconduct and sin.

Little man
despite the desires
one can only drown in the ichor of demons.
The black hole she dug in your soul will extinguish the fires of your dreams - enjoy!
318 · Jan 2018
He said he was a mess
Anora Emporium Jan 2018
Sometimes
love can hit you
an unforgiving crunching of steel and glass
it collides
then ricochets in a confusion
of twisted metal
screaming down the highway
I wish
you had watched where you were heading
so that maybe I wouldn't be regretting
falling in love
at 2am
with a car wreck
There's smoke in my eyes
I'm not crying
317 · Sep 2017
Failure to function
Anora Emporium Sep 2017
False love
flipped on its head
frozen time thawed
friends to the end.
Yet I am still human, and falling to loss is instinctual.
315 · Sep 2017
Little lady
Anora Emporium Sep 2017
Little lady
In a shop
Posing against the wall
Little lady
Why do you stare?
You have the one for all.
Take him home
Mockingbird
And whisper in his ear
"I saw a girl at the mall
and she could smell my fear."
Do not be afraid, little bird; I have no hold over a memory.
313 · Sep 2017
The mortality of love
Anora Emporium Sep 2017
I don't know
how to say
how it makes me feel
except that it seems wrong
and right
sitting deep within my stomach
the realisation that
love ends
whether by choice
or force
love has an expiry
and the heart clenching
confusion
and lost passion
I translate to anger
in a futile effort
to protect myself
from the mortality
of love.
310 · May 2017
Mystery man in the library
Anora Emporium May 2017
One wish two fish and a spiralling trivial moment
three at a restaurant
the food tastes of ash and soot his foot against mine under the table you hold my hand and he glances down and whispers
more more always asking never giving wanting the everlasting attention
retention
my inability to be consistent in my heart that always starts but never finishes the plate under my nose
I chose the dessert and learnt that fire means nothing and burns up every morsel
leaves a bitter taste in the mouth
under my tongue and under my lips you kissed he kissed now I lay in bed staring at the ceiling
he breathes
a deep steady slumber beside me whilst my eyes are wide my soul is wide open to be pierced by the retribution of my sins
forgive
a sacred stolen word that haunts my every step I lay in bed twisted in sheets that soak and devour my every breath
you left

as easy as
one
two
three
watch me go
your love will never know
the damage you can deal
when you're bitter the strikes become real and frantic
kisses that exist with other lips
softer lips
that speak with no denial or trickery
that day in the library
you were the mystery
that I endeavoured to conquer
a war path that cost me half my soldiers
all my provisions
and my dignity
my love was an **** defeat I retreat and sink beneath the earth the steady dirt a sturdy hand slowly
slowly
crushes the breath from my body
do you see?
it is your
victory
I remember every second. Your deep brown eyes looking up at me over the rim of your glasses. You were so quiet, but your presence spoke volumes and I fell under your spell, the intriguing man who spoke of honour, love and dreams.
309 · Sep 2017
Lyrics: To Yesterday
Anora Emporium Sep 2017
Mm* these floors I'll never walk again
These walls that hold a love that never ended
The light in eyes of love and life the same
The energy I'll never know again
Mmm

The faded halls the twists and turns my friend
Hold so tight the love for each dead end
The memory of feet against cold slate
These are the floors I'll never walk again

Mi Re Do

Oh
Where does the heart go
Why do my hands still know
The places I always saw
I know I've been here before
Things always look the same
When they give you the most pain
But it's just in your eyes
That I don't recognise

Take me home
To years ago
Love is the same
It's you I don't know
So take me home
Show me the way
Take me home
To yesterday
Lyrics to a song I wrote last year. Perhaps try and imagine a melody...
276 · Jun 2017
Resolve to resist
Anora Emporium Jun 2017
Rejoice in my silence
For these poems are delivered to my lips when I seek to be rid of the world that encases me
When all sound has receded and the words have halted for eternity
Rejoice
For I must have found peace
Sit with me while we resolve to resist death.
275 · May 2017
Satisfaction
Anora Emporium May 2017
To satisfy is to rectify the prosperity of my heart.

Where does the dog lie?
He is scruffy, overfed
Lies in bed with a *****
Dreams of a witch
Who lost her magic

When the ship departed
He ****** every living thing
I still have the ring
Wear it every week
In private
Even though it is too late
to love a dog.
267 · Aug 2017
Back where I came from
Anora Emporium Aug 2017
I changed my body in a way that meant I couldn't fit the clothes I used to wear with you
even if I tried
I could have just gotten fat, but no, I have to be perfect
You called me lazy
I was depressed
But never fear, (or do)
I'm still working at myself
for you
Every now and then, I try on the dresses in my closet, the ones that you said I looked beautiful in. Then I cry when they don't fit over my head or zip up to my arms. So they go back to the closet where they will hang forever until someone can be loved in them again.
267 · Jan 2018
Bittersweet
Anora Emporium Jan 2018
It's not fair
that despite knowing
you will never love me back
all I can recall
is how you did everything
so beautifully.
I said thank you after just one night because I knew that you would one day become nothing more than a beautiful memory.
261 · Apr 2017
She won the world
Anora Emporium Apr 2017
There's a trophy on my cabinet shelf.
I put it on the highest level
and without a step, it was unreachable.
In the streets I would talk about the trophy on the shelf.
The shine, the distinct curve, the plate of gold near its base.
I earned it for this reason, to show the world that it was mine.
Looking up all the time, it shone back at me.

People began to question the existence of such a trophy.
I scoff and puff a lot of stuff.
The trophy sits at home in dust.
Corners of crust they creep into the cup and the shine that I once boasted was cut.
And still I did not clean it.
It was an easy solution to step up to the level but I thought, I am not dusty, I am still clean, why should its sheen be any different?

In a failure to recognise my inability to care for something so utterly precious and dependant on my love, the trophy on my cabinet shelf I threw in the bin.
Winners are losers, baby, and you were the prize.
252 · Jun 2017
I will not go
Anora Emporium Jun 2017
It is my anxiety that forces me to cater for every possibility.
I will not go unprepared into the wilderness where a sideways glance or a shiver might mean a breath longer to wait and counter the doubts and regrets that rule my already overburdened life
I will not go unprepared into masses that sneer and spit spiteful parries that beg for the upheaval of my integrity
Say as you might that I am surely vain and shallow that when you press your boot into my bodice you will hit the bottom in a blink but alas it was your heart that continued to sink for beneath the painted cheeks and frosted glass of a fractured reflection I speak from my digression and beg witness to the man who uses words as daggers
Ladies I warn you of the dangers of a bitter man for he leaves iron in the chest but the breath I will pull in defiance will rust the blade that aligns with his hand

I will not go unprepared.
I will make him an offer and his pride will guarantee the refusal that is my prize.
247 · Jul 2017
Behind blue eyes
Anora Emporium Jul 2017
I wear this pretty face as a mask to obscure the past.

For a pretty baroness
without her farce
is a pretty barren mess.
And I blame you.
247 · Jan 2018
How many times
Anora Emporium Jan 2018
How many times
can I message you
to see you reply
with one word
and still tell myself
maybe he's just busy
maybe he just doesn't like talking via text
maybe he's caught up working at the job he is so dedicated to
maybe he simply meant to say more but got distracted

he does that

maybe
maybe I'm making excuses
for a boy that doesn't love me
or care enough
to give me his time
or show an inkling of effort
everything is fine

How many times?
Anora Emporium Aug 2017
In the hands of the man I felt safest
Now my hands hold a phone in the bathroom stall shaking
A phone
The demise of my previous enterprise
Now the gateway to regrettable conversation

Tears pulled free out of the silence
Torn from a retched need and desperation
How ironic that the one person whose hands held me the gentlest and loved with such dedication would be the one who destroyed my inhibition and ability to control
my own hands

They grip this device where I write and my mind screams to reach out
There he is
How easy it could be just to dissolve within a lost fantasy
A circle where the ends never meet
Where at my feet tears fall flat in defeat
I restrain the desire to surrender to my selfish needs
Yet I plead with myself to give in.

The one place I feel safe and trust with all my heart is the one space I am barred from
How do I get out?
Please help me get out
Or let me in
Either way
You'll do neither.

I cannot write how I feel
it reveals what I did
To you
An unforgivable fleeting fantasy
Caught up in my own mind
As you removed my securities
Until you were the only one standing
For me to rely upon
And yet
You are no longer someone
Who exists
Who resists the pathetic nature of a past lover
Who is stronger and has rebuilt love twice over anew
Whilst I stew
Broken open by a man who every day chips away at my resistance
In an instance I break
In the bathroom stall at the gym
My life on a chain that leads to him
where I lie     underneath    watching him      watch TV     while
       *******
              me.

I cry every time.

And I realise
You're the only one who would have saved me
I am not a stranger
But lately
I don't even know myself
244 · Aug 2017
Played me like a drum
Anora Emporium Aug 2017
The decrescendo of my melody
My dear, how you have played me
I have forgotten the sweet murmurings of love.

Today I wondered
where does happiness lie?
and how could I feel such wonder
when it touched me one last time?

Today I wandered
in streets that sang of memory
heard the beating heart of matrimony
where I listened one last time.

This is the song I sing for you
A rasping breath, a lonely tune
a mountainous volume, jonquils in bloom
the beat of the drum drowns out the ruin
soon, my body falls.
You refused to sing for me, and to sing with me; instead, you sang against me; the song of a thousand strings, fluttering in the wind, sheared from the body of a bass.
241 · May 2017
She forgets that it burns
Anora Emporium May 2017
in the sun a languid stretch to catch the warmth of a caressing ray
a promise of safety it encases her décolletage
the tension extends beyond her body
releases into the universe
an image of vulnerability
a momentary lapse in judgment
on the exhale
she forgets that it burns
Anora Emporium Jul 2017
404 notifications
Still meaningless connections
Power off
The blank expression of my reflection
Breaks the surface tension
Tears threaten
But if no one really knows
Did it even happen?
Error 404: person not found
224 · Sep 2017
Arms of night
Anora Emporium Sep 2017
Leaning in darkness
against an embrace
I fall into the arms of night
and meet no resistance
Where full forms
are empty
where the release
fulfils none
and the tragedy of life is pronounced.
This is the path that dead men tread and wounded women wander.
222 · Mar 2018
I found you
Anora Emporium Mar 2018
Words dance for
you;
stranger.
May you find
that thing
you didn't know
you were looking for.
220 · Sep 2017
Material things
Anora Emporium Sep 2017
Sometimes I wonder
About how a green cloth is not green at all
But rather
A material that absorbs every other light extension
Except green

Then I think about how
Your eyes absorb every light
Except brown

And how your lips absorb every light
Except a dusky pink

I think about how the light rejects my skin whilst it welcomes yours
Warms as it absorbs within your strengthened brow

I think about how

Colour doesn't exist
And how emotions are a chemical reaction

How when he dealt me "the conversation"
Our bodies fired up
In one last effort to create a connection
Between a male and a female
Of the same species
In one last effort to preserve
And survive
As is the instinctual nature of animals

Perhaps what makes us human
Is that we were able to reject
One chemical equation over another

And this cloth has a colour
That doesn't exist.
Anora Emporium Apr 2017
When one eye shuts, another opens
Forages in the dark where the air has a striking bite and stings the softest cheeks
Where sanity tips and the body sinks beyond the horizon
You can never hide him
My love, it leaks
It reeks of desperation
Why in my abandon
did you forsake me?

There are no words
No stones thrown
In a world I've never known, I cry into your kiss.

In an embrace that speaks of forgiveness
Screams of love
Whispers of fiction
I see the conviction in your eyes to be better with her than me
I am the lesson
The one I never wanted to teach
But I taught nonetheless
Thank you for the presence
I marked your absence with a fist.

The sunlight teases my eyelids with a gentle reminder
To wake
And be not weary
For I had been visited by an angel
Of the night.
The man I love left long ago
The man in my mind forever grows.

Thank you for visiting last night, you are the guest I'll always say yes and be blessed to welcome.
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