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 Jun 8 Anora Emporium
alex
you talked for a minute
and your arm around me was an anchor

you talked for an hour
and your arm around me was a noose
ju. i’m so sorry, but i’m choosing this summer as my summer of firsts, and you’re right there. you’re convenient, if not entirely comfortable. i probably won’t follow through. will probably feel too bad about it.
He liked to use
clip-on promises
because it was so much
easier
than learning to tie knots
and facing down the
fear
that you could strangle yourself
if you weren't careful
Some fool once
suggested
that I start to
carry around a
little notebook
to write my poetry
in whenever
inspiration strikes.

I'd rather not live like
a
caricature
all scribbling melodrama
in the corner of darkened
bars and seemingly
unable to work out the mystery
of women
and exuding an infinite
aura of depth
to draw
the eyes of strangers on
a passenger train
as I ride from mystery
to mystery

the fact of the matter is that
there are
no ******* trains
in this town and
there are no picturesque
vistas with which to fall in
love
but rather an endless
array of fast-food
joints
and thinly disguised
bigotry
and the neon red, white and blue
gets nauseating after a while

truth be told
I had a notebook
once
and a stranger came up
to me and asked me what
I was writing
and I said "poetry"
and he laughed
and sneered
and said
"oh, SOMEBODY is getting cultured!"
and I learned at that point
that more often than not
"nothing" is a good answer
for strangers and that
my poetry is better kept
in my head until it is time
to type it all out
because writing poetry is not
a spectator sport for me

my poetry is a *****
little secret between
myself
and the few who care and
my thoughts are not a persona
I am not a performer for strangers
in an endless act of
"more cultured than thou"
I write for me
and
notebook or no

I am a god ****** poet.
Though I am
diametrically opposed
to looking into other
people's vehicles,
I couldn't help but
notice that this one
in the library parking lot
had eleven welcome mats
in the back seat and it was
a welcome sight indeed
but then someone started
yelling at the church across
the street
perhaps the holy spirit had
finally arrived in all its glory
or maybe it's just tax season and Jesus
is coming to collect
but I could sell this painting
at the library
it's a giant cat all neon orange
and green
or perhaps I'll just head
home since the library closes
early on Saturdays
O, death
wait for us
for some of us
don't quite have
our shoes tied
yet
and
there are leftovers in
the fridge
that I'm sure the cat will
get into
and you know
how the vet
said poor kitty needs to
watch her weight
o, Death
wait for us
because the theater kids
are doing the Charleston
in a flash mob
in the library during
parent teacher conferences
and it's kind of hard to hear,
o death
and O, death,
wait for your turn
you really should have called
i'm just so busy these days
with school
and work
and the kids
and really it's kind of late
and I should be getting to
bed
but let's schedule something
for a week or so from now
because I just don't have time
for you today

O, death
o, death
o, death
my love
do not cry
i hear you've been
awful busy these days
and you just can't catch
a break from the tedium
so let me help you
and I will walk myself
over, o death
and together we shall wander
the horizon
behind the sunset
Death my darling
I keep writing you
because I'm finding it
harder
and harder
to talk
to people
and not feel
empty
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