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You are a king
And I, the court fool
Sometimes a lady, or if luck pleases, a faithful courtesan
But my cowardice always crowns me with the dunce cap with bells
Perhaps it was in December or January,
When a greying mob member tumbled down the stairs.
Perhaps, they said, it was because he was old and weary,
They told me “Do not speak”, for fear I would meddle in their affairs.

They told me “Do not look”,
For fear that I would empathise and find, what a cold dead body could yield.
To look into the grey glass eyes of a wife abusing crook,
For I would find the last embers of a carefree child in the fields.

I've been to several of these before,
The monotony of incense crackle and firecracker smoke.
They dance nonchalantly around in circles, performing their sacred rituals,
Throwing dirt with their mouths and hands upon the dead and living.

Will they weep at my funeral
Or will they snicker and say good riddance?
Random stranger reading my honey drenched eulogy,
Why so cynical?
Am I the only happy nihilist out there
Oh, will you cry happy tears at my funeral?
I wish you loved me as much as you loved the rain and stars,
From the unfathomable depths of the sea, I could still see your twin suns,
so unreachable,

unreachable.

Till the day the proud celestials descend from their lonely thrones,
Till the day I drown on tides of breath and speckled sky,
Till the day when crowns of sea spray bow and set ablaze.

You will always be so, like rain through a sieve of starlight;

unreachable
Why does it hurt so, the spaces between us
That longing, the harsh caresses of air
Between your words and mine

Why do the echoes of your laugh,
entangle my breath
And pull, without pulling

Why do I dwell upon these pockets of time,
Where they seem to drip and pool
In the creases of your smile

And yet, I know. That you,
Unravel me
You who pull, without pulling
'Oderint dum metuant. Atreus, Books III–V "De Ira", I, 20, 4.'

They unwrap me like candy
Peeling, stripping flesh and sinew carelessly

Rice paper thin boldness dissolving
Melamine tinged shifting unsettled smiles

I grin back at them sweetly,
Teeth and jaw, bare bone beaming white

They have made me no more but the refreshing whispers of wrappers
Now, I am the nothingness that they cannot destroy
White Rabbit taffy and Polo mints are popular childhood candies in my native Malaysia (and my personal favorites as well). White Rabbits are milk flavored candies wrapped with an edible rice paper layer, the dairy used to make the taffy was contaminated by Melamine during the 2008 Chinese milk scandal; many governments deeming it unsafe for children to consume. The Latin above reads 'Let them hate, so long as they fear'
We will awaken from our deep slumber with new clarity
cleansed and healed.
We shall return to our weary world refreshed,
united in our losses and lessons learned.

We will remember them as the flowers that grow amongst the graves,
as Maytime thunder, deeply scarring and searing
we shall hold candles to their names,
burn ablaze the bright path ahead

It shall pass like a dream, nights of battling unseen beasts from beyond long gone,
dazed but knowing certain that it had passed.
The days will no longer bleed and blur into one another,
But rather, we shall step forth into blooming horizons renewed, refreshed

As long as the human spirit is not extinguished
The flame of hope shall be rekindled,
for now, spring is here -

And the world begins anew

— The End —