Shoes pitter patter across the floor as I sit awake, but silently dreaming.
A screech, something beyond recognition jolts me out of my peace
Back to consciousness, the world around me.
Lights bright, city sounds, hearts beat.
Where do I find the words to yell out at the sky?
Swirling down into the depths of my stomach,
I feel an ache that can't be eased.
There's a hunger inside of me that longs for affection,
Truth. Love.
Amidst the cinder-block city and this ever-moving world,
I want to stop.
Tell time to hold on.
Stop.
Sit on the grass again.
Stop.
Throw my arms wide open in the middle of the street
Just to see if someone will embrace me with a warmth
I haven't felt in what seems to be forever.
But as I dream of comfort, I'm pushed to move forward.
I've been blocking the sidewalk.
I pick up my bag and keep moving,
To never stop again.

If I could have one more wish
It would be to send my heart to you
Among the crumpled letters, broken glass, and dead roses
You'd hear a beat louder than the roaring tides
You could feel the earth shake as it breaks
Halting all movement to make you stop and look
Blue eyes, scarred skin, to see within
Your glowing smile beyond a cheeky wink.
Let me see through the clouds in your mind
That cover the sly fingers and soft skin.

If I had one more moment to speak my mind
I'd give it all to you.
Everything I heard, all I felt in my breath
Would be yours to absorb in whole.
Swallow each word, sweet or sharp
And digest it down to the depths of your stomach.
My living soul and immortal memory would be left
In your hands, your mind to prosper on
Until we both perished like the expiring milk
On my refrigerator shelves.

I sit beside you as you sleep
With my mind racing back and forth.
While you lay in restful slumber
I cannot stop my thoughts from winging
Left, right, up, down
Until I'm driven to leap out of bed.
You turn, disturbed by my jolt
But no less dormant than you were before.

As I look at your restful face,
Tired eyes, soft lips,
I envy the cushioning you feel
As the weight of the world is caught by a mattress.
I try, as you do, to let my body be heavy
And welcome dreams to monopolize this cacophony.
Turn left, turn right,
Swinging myself until my arms rest gently on your waist.
My breath spills onto the back of your neck
As I slide my hand to wrap around your body.
Suddenly, I feel the mattress catch me.
My thoughts have stopped, I'm calm once more.

She told us we would never return home.
I believed her, why wouldn't I believe her?
She'd taken me far away, further than my
Basic comprehension of geography could fathom.
We were beyond the hills, past any meadows
That I could still recognize as being home.
It was all gone, we were gone, our lives were
Only to become a faint memory, possibly a dream.
The clanking of horse hooves was burnt into my mind,
As the endless journey continued on and on.
Pitter patter, clink clank circled through my ears
Until my mind was emptied of everything except that rhythm.
I looked out from the back of the wagon
Peering past the trees and into far off distance.
Gazing into this unfamiliar world, untouched life,
I gifted myself to the beauty of it all.
I reached into my bag and grabbed a sliver of paper,
Scribbling as best I could in the darkness of night.
Throwing the paper to the soil herself,
It glowed in the light of the effervescent moon.

Amy O'Connor, age 11. April 1848.
*Goodbye Virginia, hello California. Be good to us, Ms. Nature.

Bright blue eyes glistening in the sun
As you roll on your back.
You look at me, so cheeky
So knowing.

I can never predict your next move.
Should I run and sit beside you?
Or will you simply run away,
Leaving me to chase you further?

The warm sun melts our bones
As we lay near one another.
I reach out to touch you,
But you retreat and soon I follow.

I look at you in peaceful bliss
Eyes closed, soaking the rays.
I envy you, wishing I could succumb
To the earth just as simply as you.

My bones harden as I sit up
Burning the fantasy of peace.
My heart freezes again as the stern look
Resumes its familiar position on my face.

But then I feel your presence beside me
Nuzzling my arm until I smile again.
There's nothing that melts my heart more
Than the softness of your face, your deep blue eyes.

Your motor begins to start,
Engine revving as I caress you more.
Fur as soft as silk, little Lilah,
And you, dear kitty, make me human again.

The difference between you and me is simple.
Plainer than anything I've ever seen.
Me.
I speak in truth, hold these words as sacred.
Careful with every one that passes through my lips.
You.
You speak in jest, making a mockery.
Burning your malice into the ears of all who hear.
Me.
I move gently, softer than rose petals
As sure not to catch the eye of an innocent bystander.
You.
You thrash your limbs, flail your breath to me
As your claws scrape my flesh until it bleeds.
Me.
I lack the courage to walk away, close the door
And allow you to slowly rot on your own.
You.
You are a succubus, taking all you can from me
Until I'm left wilting, longing for a touch of affection.

It's been over two decades
And you still haven't changed, Daddy.