Frozen feet,
Hot oatmeal,
White noise,
Blurry letters.

Days melt into each other,
The passage of time now a soupy broth of numbness.
Distractions,
Sleep.
It’s not enough.

Dried up watercolours call my name,
Where’d you go?
I’m sorry, I’ve been awfully busy.
I’ve been carving faces into walls.
I’ve been eating my nails just to feel something.
No taste yet, but I’ll keep you updated.

His flesh is made of tulips and glitter,
He takes like spice.
I run my fingers through his honeycomb strains,
And I admire my beautiful boy.

His tongue preys into my words,
Taking me as his own.
Skin hot, and blood boiling.
I am his tonight.

But then my eyes dry,
My tongue finding itself again.
But he is nowhere to be found.
How could such a lovely building have no furniture?

I want to delve inside him,
Sink into his chest,
Become him for a day.
My greatest fear is that there’s no one to become.

My beautiful boy is that and nothing more.
Is it enough?
Will his hot skin keep me warm through the winter?

All I know is his morning eyes
And mountain teeth give me something I’ve never felt before
And maybe that’s all I need;
For now

Black hair between my fingers,
Pink vapour in my lungs,
Cryptic wishes and longing for something I’ll never find.
These are the nights that I never forgive but always forget

Your thumb is a searing fear,
Dipped in lava and filled with ice.
Your smile makes me feel wanted.
Why can’t I say your name?

The sparks that fly from your ember hair,
The sun who sits in your golden eyes.
Do you know how beautiful you are?

Your redness melts into pink cheeks,
Flushed with an unknown secret.
I see a whole landscape in your face.
I wonder if you see anything in mine.

I don’t know your favourite colour
Or what you sing in the shower.
But I want to.

You’re a stranger,
Yet you held my hand and told me everything you thought of
And all I forgot to think of.

You kissed me,
With your scary hazel eyes
Following my every emotion.
I still don’t know how to feel.

You’re a stranger,
Yet you have a name,
Eight siblings,
A love for Harry Potter.

You have a smile that really does make me feel ugly.
How can you be so calm?
How can you feel so sure of who you are and what you want?

You’re a stranger,
But not for long.
Even if there are no more kisses,
I want to know what you think about alone at night;
how you like your tea.

I want to know every inch of your soul,
Because if you can see even an ounce of good in me,
You must be a sort of dreamer

A boiling sun won’t melt my ache today.
I’ve been this puddle for awhile now.
Tomorrow is tomorrow is tomorrow is gone.
I can’t ******* breathe without choking these days.
These days,
These moments that used to blend together seamlessly
Are now chaptered by how I feel on a scale from 1-10.
Today it’s 6.
Yesterday it was 2.
Tomorrow it is -10 degrees in June.
I put on my jean shorts and apply sticky bug spray,
But still feel the summer snowflakes on my cheeks,
Telling me that all summer is just a another war,
this time painted with dandelions and water.