my heart heavy laden with words unsaid
jesus jesus where is your spirit?

my mind wreaking havoc in ways i didn't know possible
jesus jesus where is your peace?

my world falling from the sky, now lays in pieces at my feet
jesus jesus where is your presence?

my body aches, painful and numb

jesus jesus i need you...
now.

if you knew me, music is everything, you'd see.
an innate instinct that spins me in circles from one instrument to the next.
i have an ocean of notes to dive into headfirst. to create myself while swimming in this world of unoriginality.

if you knew me, you'd see,
the world gets into my head and there i go off the edge.
my mind at the mercy of what should be my least worry.
the people yell. the people scream. it's my soul that takes a harsh beating.
mind sinks. limbs tremble. who would catch my fall?

i know who.
my fall is caught by the resonance of rhythm. by the peaceable pitch. by the sophisticated sound. by a resounding chord that strikes meaning. my fingers flow along the sea of white and black keys. my mind consumed with memorized melodies. when the weight of the world is too much to carry, it's like coming up for air.

it's 11:19 and i don't feel okay
it's 11:19 and nothing seems right
it's 11:20 and i can't get comfortable
it's 11:20 and i need someone by my side

it's 11:21 and my world hurts at night

a numb ache in the bone,
feels like you're alone.
with a head full of lies,
im saying goodbye.

life is a grind,
not against him,
but intertwined,
with my mind.

the small act
of you leaving
for the night
crushed me in flight
my solo sleep
causes tears to creep

my face falls on the outside
as i crumble inside
there's a weight assisting gravity
pushing down on my shoulders
         creating
a
    spiral