I was at a place where sadness became comfort. Sadness became the cozy home I never had. A place where I belong - a home that welcomed and accepted me. It was where I came back to at the end of the day. It was the only thing that waited for me and the only thing that wanted me. These days whenever I'm near the edge - I can hear them calling me. Malevolent croonings telling me to come back home.

i don't think you can unlearn somethings
like how to build walls around your heart
so that no sword will find a way through it again
like how to choose meaningless people to obsess over
because you know if they hurt you
the blow won't come as hard
and there you are
with your patience and kindness
slowly coalescing your presence
into my life
slowly getting me attached
to your presence
i don't think you realize
how special you are becoming to me

I chased so many sunsets trying to forgive her.
But I don't think I ever will.
I know I will never forget
the lesson I learned
from trying so hard
to be accepted,
from giving my all
until I have nothing left.
Her name will always leave a bitter taste off my tounge.
But I've accepted it.
After all, you can't taste sweetness until you taste bitterness.