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aa Jul 2017
When you get sidetracked by things that don't - and won't - matter, look around. Breathe. You already have all the love that you need. Remind yourself of what and who you want to be. Improve. Focus on yourself. Stop searching for love in people it will never be. Love will find you when it's ready.
Today I realized that this is the most peaceful year I've had for such a long time that I realize I don't want to ruin it by adding ugly surprises. There are so many things to be done, to get better at. That's exactly what I'm going to do.
aa Jul 2017
if there is anything
i can thank you for
after shattering
my already battered heart.

it's a thank you
for showing me
what caring is
what it should be
and
what it shouldn't be.
Part One of my last poems for the storm.
aa Jun 2017
Everytime I see your name,
hear your voice,
see your face,
I get this sinking feeling inside
because we no longer talk.
And what a tragedy,
for we broke so quietly,
without a single drama.
You went with your friends,
people I am strongly against,
and I went with my new friends.
I've always known that one day
you are not going to be mine.
But whenever I hear you laugh
coming out of my speaker,
my fingers itch to type 'hi' and
talk about my day with you.
But I don't.
I know you're going to reply warmly.
But I also know, that we won't be
what we used to be.
Milana once called us an old married couple, do you remember?
aa Jun 2017
I'll miss you
I'll always miss you
Even when I don't.
The first time you left, I was so overwhelmed by my anger and hatred that I didn't consider your side of the story. This time, after our conversation, I was hit by a river of sadness when I saw you leaving. At first, I didn't really thought much about it, since I've always known you'd leave our country. But then suddenly 'How To Save A Life' came on and I haven't heard the song in forever and I sat down, thinking about what happened and what could've happened. I don't know if we will ever meet again, but know that I will always remember you even when I'm devoid of color. Cause we're ripped at every edge but we're still a masterpiece.
aa Jun 2017
how many hearts
have i broken
because of
my bitterness?

how many soul
have i destroyed
because of
my vengeance?

how many
relationships
have i crushed
because of
my belief
that no one
genuinely
likes me
for who i am?
"sorry i can be so blind" - Halsey
aa Jun 2017
There is this split moment
When you realize
Something that
Everyone else has known
For the first time

A crack in reality
White noise in the dark truth

Its like your eyes are suddenly opened
And the lights are stinging bright
Everything you thought was true
Was
Not

You hear the walls all come crumbling down

Am I losing you?
Did I ever have you in the first place?
When it comes to you, L, why am I always the one reaching out? Why do you never tell me anything?
•••
You said you wanted me the way I am.
aa Jun 2017
Doomed from the beginning,
I feel a pull towards you
the way a piece of magnet
is drawn to metal.

The mystery unfolds
like dark truths
behind an everlasting fairy tale.

You reek of danger, babe,
I can smell it miles away.

Just the perfect Mr. Wrong
to break my heart.
a song like you?
i'd play it every night.
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