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5d · 22
10.18.20
Practice religion in any way you need to
Be it through prayer, philosophy or poetry
Any gracious God will accept your soul
No matter how you choose to offer it
Sep 12 · 30
Question
Angelica Sep 12
Exactly how many times must a soul break
Before a masterpiece is written?
How many pieces more do I need to shatter
To create a poem that will outlive me
Aug 24 · 93
08.24.20
Angelica Aug 24
In it’s own way, self love can be the hardest kind
When you are against your own stubborn
Your own cynic
Learning to fight for that love
Means learning to do more than just survive
To understand that being selfish can be a kindness
And that being fragile also means to be treated gently
And not just easily broken or damaged
Feb 8 · 628
02.08.20
Angelica Feb 8
Bury me in the warmth of your embrace
Drown me in the scent of something like home
Carry my fears into whispers of forever
Hold me til I question if I was ever broken at all
Feb 2 · 86
Peace of Mind
Angelica Feb 2
You are the soft sigh of the waves
receeding from the shore
The warm breeze on a slow day
The pink sky before the sun bids goodnight
The first flower that  blooms on May
Feb 2 · 84
Breathe
Angelica Feb 2
I never knew I was drowning
I thought that's just how everybody lived
With water filling their chests,
With hearts pushing with every beat
No light in the bottom of the ocean

Then I started swimming towards the light
Not knowing what lied beyond the surface
The first time air touched my lips
and caught in my throat
it felt like a violent whiplash

It felt like I was dying
The water spilling out of me
My heart beating so fast, lungs filled with air. It was painful to breathe
It was painful to live
Feb 2 · 58
Playground Boyfriend
Angelica Feb 2
He reached into the sandbox
And found all the favorite toys
I thought I lost long ago
Picked up a red bucket
And told me we could rebuild the sandcastle
That some kid stomped all over
He asked if I wanted to be the princess
And I told him 'I want to be the Red Ranger'
I expected him to say something stupid,
Like 'Girls can't be the Red Ranger'
But instead he replied, 'Cool, I'll be Yellow'
I write for myself
Nov 2019 · 77
Room
Angelica Nov 2019
I made a room out of sadness
filled it with picture frames
of arguments I refused to let go
A tear stained sofa
that was meant to welcome guests
Is now where my past
has overstayed its welcome

Hanging on the walls
is a picture I drew
of a memory called happy
And on the coffee table
sits an old phonebook
of people who promised
to stay in touch

This was only supposed to be
a guestroom where I allowed
my chaos to visit from time to time
But somehow the boxes of anxiety
have piled up
and the monsters
have found their way
under this bed too
Even my safe place has become haunted by me
Nov 2019 · 85
09.13.19
Angelica Nov 2019
I was desperate for peace
I allowed the chaos
To drown me into silence
Sep 2019 · 1.2k
09.11.19
Angelica Sep 2019
I sold my soul to poetry
And never looked back
But now every relationship
Is a writing prompt
Every trauma, a metaphor
Sep 2019 · 86
9.10.19
Angelica Sep 2019
Anxiety means
I stood there
outside your
door for an hour
Coaxing
whatever brave
I had left
to come out.
It didn't
and I turned back
towards home
Sep 2019 · 152
09.01.19
Angelica Sep 2019
I place my hands above yours
Careful not to crush you
With the weight of my being
I let you make the choice
To intertwine our stories
So that if you pull apart
I will have nothing to let go of
Jul 2019 · 90
Megan
Angelica Jul 2019
I hope you think of us on Malibu nights
A couple of sad drunk girls
under pink fairy lights
The sound of our laughter
drowning away
the tears that we've shed
I hope you felt all the love we've left unsaid
Safe travels and hope to see you soon
Jul 2019 · 89
Messiah Complex
Angelica Jul 2019
Perhaps I am attracted to melancholy
and to every lost soul
Like a distant call I refuse to ignore
I jump into every ocean
not knowing how to swim
No ounce of hesitation at all
But through every answer
Every outstretched hand
I hope to become the person
I once needed the most
I hope to be someone's salvation
I hope to save my own ghost
Jun 2019 · 109
06.22.19
Angelica Jun 2019
I want to take back the days I was sad
I want to show you that I can be better
Kinder, more lovable, braver
I want to take back the days I wasted
crying on my bed stuck in my head
When I could have,
should have been better instead
But I can't take back the days I was sad
No I can only be better
I can be braver for other people
Jun 2019 · 185
06.20.19
Angelica Jun 2019
Good girl will forget
                 the mistakes you've made
Good girl will forget
                 the tears she'd shed
Good girl will forget
                 how many women you've laid
Good girl will forget
                 that night she bled
Jun 2019 · 121
06.09.19
Angelica Jun 2019
I am sorry
that my hugs
can be suffocating.
It's not always
because I'm scared
to let you go.
Sometimes,
I am just trying
to hold myself
together.
Jun 2019 · 99
06.03.19
Angelica Jun 2019
There was nothing between us.
No sweet words uttered in secret
No promises made under the moonlight
No longing looks stolen from time
No names patiently carved with a knife
But his lips stayed longer than they should
And his hands lingered for a while
His eyes spoke a language we never learned
Like something deep down had overturned
Will retitle once I think of something
Jun 2019 · 166
06.02.19
Angelica Jun 2019
Why must I look into your eyes
And ask where I stand
In front of you
where you can't see me
Beside you
where I am forgotten
Or behind her
as a shadow you can neglect
Jun 2019 · 79
05.30.19
Angelica Jun 2019
I wish I can look back
And say I had no regrets
That I learned all my lessons
And in front of you is a new person
But I keep making the same mistakes
And somehow I have more questions
Like how is it that I still feel broken
Even after my supposed salvation
May 2019 · 963
Mother
Angelica May 2019
I beg her to stop hurting me
As she digs the knife deeper
Telling me she loves me
Telling me she knows better

I beg her, 'Mama please'
But she's not listening anymore
In her eyes, I am only child
Still a child and nothing more
Apr 2019 · 170
My depression is the sea
Angelica Apr 2019
and I am the shore it faithfully returns to.

I forget that I am not always warm sand and sunshine for the few seconds
before the water hits
and washes my sandcastles away

Sometimes the waves break first
and slowly bubbles its way towards me

Gentle enough to make me wonder if maybe
the cold is meant to comfort me instead

Gentle enough to make me forget of
the tsunamis that left me stranded and bare

But the sunset is beautiful
And no other shade of blue is more romantic
So I sit by the shore and let the waves push and pull at me
Make me forget, make me question memory
Angelica Apr 2019
A hand writing silly notes to leave with the food meant to keep you alive during work

A shoulder staying still so you won't wake up from your nap on a 2 hour drive

Arms that tighten around you, figjting to hold you together

A back against your door shaking in tears, refusing to leave you behind

Eyes straining to keep awake so you won't be alone on one of your darkest nights

A soul spilling unto paper to write a poem of how much you are loved in this life
Read the title online and made me think
Jan 2019 · 105
D.N.R
Angelica Jan 2019
She tells me

I should be grateful,

that I survived.

But why does survival

FEEL

like I'm hooked up

to a machine

forcing air

into my lungs;

keeping me alive

when I've long been

DEAD
DO.NOT.RESUSCITATE
Jan 2019 · 166
Seawitch
Angelica Jan 2019
Mermaid pick a voice
that's more than nice
Find someone who'll listen
throughtout the night
Maybe he'll drown
your sorrows instead
By the end of this story
Maybe you won't be dead
I know she became bubbles :)
Dec 2018 · 110
12.17
Angelica Dec 2018
I envy those who laugh easy,
who cry easily, who love easy
I've been so used to
pushing my feelings down
That they never quite
reach the surface on time
Dec 2018 · 592
12.08
Angelica Dec 2018
I wish kindness finds you
And proves sincerity exists
That happiness can be found
And that love
can still make the world go round
Dec 2018 · 132
12.06
Angelica Dec 2018
I do not
write happy
Language
too foreign
for me
Sadness
I do more
eloquently
Dec 2018 · 688
Smoke
Angelica Dec 2018
I got high
on his secondhand smoke
Jealous of the cigarette
between his lips
Like a bull raging
towards all his red flags
In death, I wondered
how his lips would taste
Dec 2018 · 339
12.03
Angelica Dec 2018
I wish
I was brave
enough for all
the "what ifs"
in my mind
Nov 2018 · 257
11.25
Angelica Nov 2018
i get tired
getting caught up in you
fall asleep
to replays of our conversations
you push me around
all tattered and blue
and still I run back
to infatuation
Nov 2018 · 149
Migraine
Angelica Nov 2018
I get headaches
instead of heartaches
My brain pushing down emotions.
So I used to take pain relievers whenever I feel hurt
I sometimes still do
So sometimes I get confused
if I'm hurting
or just having a migraine
Oct 2018 · 493
Safe
Angelica Oct 2018
There were words meant to be said
And actions needed to be taken
But we both choose to be safe
Than risk being forsaken
Sep 2018 · 144
Goldilocks
Angelica Sep 2018
I learned to hold myself back
the same day I learned
there can be too much of me
Too much anger
Too much honesty
Too many emotions

I learned that I lose people
When I care too much
So I cut out some pieces
Hoping to be someone's enough
Gave out some pieces too
Trying to make someone just right
Jun 2018 · 159
Deep Blue pt. 2
Angelica Jun 2018
Wherever life takes you,
Do not forget that you are
the space to my ocean
If your darkness becomes too much
Look down on me
and I will reflect back your stars
You'll always have a home with me
Jun 2018 · 177
06.21
Angelica Jun 2018
You must've finally broken
when after all these years,
you just sit down and wait
for the tears to come when
even your body is done
squeezing your heart dry
May 2018 · 231
She's Okay
Angelica May 2018
She'll be okay once she cries it out
Like pushing your fingers down your throat
She just needs to let it all out then she'll feel better

She'll be okay, she's a really good liar
Her parents can't even tell
Sometimes even she doesn't know the truth herself

She'll be okay when they leave
She doesn't even like staying herself
She'll probably leave first before everyone else

Don't worry, she'll be okay on her own
You know she's very strong
She's been doing this on her own for very long
May 2018 · 202
First Dance
Angelica May 2018
Soft limbs and fragile hearts
As we glided in each others arms
Timid steps, a secret art
Shaky hands that hold me warm

One step forward, two steps back
A few stumbles in between
A prayer they won't change the track
As our shadows slowly close in
May 2018 · 1.0k
Deep Blue
Angelica May 2018
I was the ocean
And she was space
Two restless souls
Trying to find their place

One created blackholes
In between her stars
The other drowned sailors
Who ventured too far

Two divergent spirits
But for fate or some reason
For a few fleeting moments
They meet in the horizon
Apr 2018 · 183
Honesty
Angelica Apr 2018
We expect
the same sincerity
we’re not
willing to give
Waiting for
someone else
to hand us
the courage to live
Apr 2018 · 253
Puzzle
Angelica Apr 2018
I broke off my heart
trying to give you back
the pieces that you've lost
Apr 2018 · 181
Nice
Angelica Apr 2018
Weak boy in disguise
Let me tell you why you’re not nice
See my body, from head to toe
Is my property and no means no
Whatever I put on my face
Does not entitle you to get on my case
And whatever outfit I decide to wear
Is not an invitation for you to stare
So do not assume, give no advice
I owe you nothing just because you’re “nice”
There is no playing hard to get
No only “jerks” can get me wet
I make my own decisions
I have my own mind
So ******* with the criticisms
If you would be so kind
Apr 2018 · 151
Flame
Angelica Apr 2018
I guess I wanted warmth
And I guess we burned for a while
But you were only a flicker
When I needed fire
Apr 2018 · 695
Shored
Angelica Apr 2018
I grew up
by the seashore
Never learning
how to swim
Saw sunrise
turn to sunset
As the lazy waves
turned in

Years of watching
the horizon
Spent changing
with the tides
The ocean breeze
still pulled me home
The deep blue
still mystified
Mar 2018 · 149
Poetry is Forgiving
Angelica Mar 2018
It will not spite you
for taking its intentions,
putting it into your mouth
and spitting it back to the world
contaminated with your soul
Happy World Poetry Day :)
Mar 2018 · 131
River
Angelica Mar 2018
I've decided to
let time flow
between us

Until it erodes
all the bitterness
we've built up

Washing away
all the pain
and wrong notions

Leaving room
for new waters
to pile up

Until forgiveness
flows back
into the ocean
Mar 2018 · 163
Patience
Angelica Mar 2018
I am a broken glass of water
filled to the brim
A few drops from spilling
A few drops from breaking
Mar 2018 · 10.0k
Bird
Angelica Mar 2018
The first time she looked up
She fell in love with the sky
Her heart reaching higher
The only answer was to fly

So she made wings of her heart
Carved dreams into feathers
Bid farewell to earth
And fluttered towards ether

But gravity loved her too
Had no intention to let go
Pulled her firmly to the ground
And broke her wings in woe
Mar 2018 · 187
Defenseless
Angelica Mar 2018
I stand at the edge
refusing to fall
I was being defiant
by not answering your call
Because I was afraid
Because I was trying to be brave
Because that moment you reached out
Deep down, I knew wanted to cave
Into
You
Into every promise
I'm too scared to trust
Into everything
I claimed to be weakness
But
You
You see right through my fraud
And you disarm me with your smile
Strip away my facade
And I am left defenseless everytime
For the stubborn romantics
Feb 2018 · 2.0k
I Try Not To Write About You
Angelica Feb 2018
Poetry is when I play interpreter to my heart
Fumbling to find the right words
Stumbling to convey love beyond a four letter word
A million things get lost in translation
I inscribe loneliness most times
Happiness she prefers left unwritten
And you, she'd rather kept hidden
But I know you from all the unintended traces that spill into everything she says
I try not to write about you
Or at least eclipse you in between the lines
But it's impossible when you're the one all her words are meant for
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