You are the soft sigh of the waves
receeding from the shore
The warm breeze on a slow day
The pink sky before the sun bids goodnight
The first flower that  blooms on May

I never knew I was drowning
I thought that's just how everybody lived
With water filling their chests,
With hearts pushing with every beat
No light in the bottom of the ocean

Then I started swimming towards the light
Not knowing what lied beyond the surface
The first time air touched my lips
and caught in my throat
it felt like a violent whiplash

It felt like I was dying
The water spilling out of me
My heart beating so fast, lungs filled with air. It was painful to breathe
It was painful to live

He reached into the sandbox
And found all the favorite toys
I thought I lost long ago
Picked up a red bucket
And told me we could rebuild the sandcastle That some kid stomped all over
He asked if I wanted to be the princess
And I told him 'I want to be the Red Ranger'
I expected him to say something stupid,
Like 'Girls can't be the Red Ranger'
But instead he replied, 'Cool, I'll be Yellow'

I made a room out of sadness
filled it with picture frames
of arguments I refused to let go
A tear stained sofa
that was meant to welcome guests
Is now where my past
has overstayed its welcome

Hanging on the walls
is a picture I drew
of a memory called happy
And on the coffee table
sits an old phonebook
of people who promised
to stay in touch

This was only supposed to be
a guestroom where I allowed
my chaos to visit from time to time
But somehow the boxes of anxiety
have piled up
and the monsters
have found their way
under this bed too

I was desperate for peace
I allowed the chaos
To drown me into silence

I sold my soul to poetry
And never looked back
But now every relationship
Is a writing prompt
Every trauma, a metaphor