Girl with the lilac fingertips
Hair nearly down to her hips
Missing the days when
I was on my land, holding a Brisk
In tiny hands
Enjoying the company of loved ones
Listening to the drums
On warm days
On cold
Being together
Never alone
Girl with the lilac toes to match
You’ll feel the beat of the drums again
Don’t cry, braid your hair
Get up & try again
It’s the time of breaking curses
Little girl
Get up
&
try again

Being a.l.o.n.e.
Nothing short of the feeling of emptiness
But not quite there because we are never
truly
alone
In those moments you find blessings
Find laughter in yourself & your so called thoughts
In those moments you learn what it
feels like to be embraced by yourself
& take notice in the air around you
To be Alone
is lonely, yes
But what is life without a lil reverence
Most often found in those times of
L.o.n.i.l.i.n.e.s.s.

Feeling battered & bruised
but the only thing bleeding is my heart
Forsaken was I
for the only thing that matched a
hollow soul is a hollow heart
Only getaway is in my mind
of black sands  
so beautiful you know it mustn’t be true
I’ve been so disconnected that it’s seemed as though it’s a constant
But the only constant is time
But even a concept like that is like
swallowing a boulder
You’d think getting older
getting wiser
getting bolder
you’d have A concept down
What is it;
Power?
Lust?
Greed?
Too fixated on the pleas
Only place they’re coming from
is from my heart when I’m on my knees
asking for peace

The day rose
It felt
& it left

In chaos we cry
In chaos we realize
In chaos we are baptized

To love & to hold
To twirl & let go
Once in my arms

Forever in my heart
I’ll try hold our memories
For this earth is never lasting

I sat atop table mountain
Stuck my head out the vehicle
thought in wonder of
the vastness of nature
Inhaled
Held my breath & listened
for the coyote howls once more for clarity
Exhaled

No.1 I have a fear of heights and I'm okay with that because I fall for you every day which keeps me close enough to the ground that I feel safe.

No.2 The dark. I do not like the inability to see, imagine being trapped in a space with no light, nothing to reach for but just a void of emptiness. You cannot find a place much darker than a blackened, hallowed heart. There are no signs of life, with no trace of light. Yet you still managed to find your way around it, walking aimlessly as if you knew where to go. I was afraid of the darkness within, until you lit a flame inside Of me, trying to send a signal fire to my sanity.

No.3 spiders, nothing poetic I just think they are creepy. Eight legs of hell and they have no need on my life!

No.4 I imagine being on an island stranded alone knowing no-one could find me, while I sit there huddle next to a tree with no reason to move forward. I feel a warm touch press on my shoulder. I open my eyes, everything seems different the white scattered sand is now my bed. waves which held me back from moving forward, now my blanket which seems to feel heavier than a tsunami of depression and deep thoughts. I lay there stuck being buried by the sand and drown by waves. Being held down by my past and worries of my future. two hands lifted all the weight off me, I looked up and there she was, she grabbed me by the...

No.5 my heart is beating faster and faster as I run an endless marathon. My palms get sweaty, it gets harder to breathe as if I was trapped in space with no air tank. I try to push through I will not let myself drop out of this one so early. I have a fear to love, not of love but to love. I want to find it but I'm too afraid of letting myself become vulnerable as if I'm joining a war with no gun just my heart hoping not to get shot down but be accepted with open arms. I have scars and battle wounds from past wars. But for no reason, you lent a hand to patch me up. You showed me not all wars are worth fighting Alone, so we joined hands and walked strong. I am afraid to love, I am not afraid to say I love. I am afraid to say I love anyone who isn't you.

I’d like to make sense of this world
or not
maybe with someone
& grow old together
I’d like to keep hope
Even though sometimes
it makes me red at the cheeks
thinking of what isn’t
was
& could be

I’d like to share a bed,
entangling limbs in soft sheets
I’d like to entwine fingers,
warming limbs
I’d like to find love & light

Usually best on a whim

I’d like so many things now
& it makes me feel soft.
Never knew this feeling.
But now I want a home &
A pet
A lover
A friend
A child
& something to call my own.
But, I’m so scared I’m a monster

Unable to hold on to a moment
Feeling in waves; usually a flood
& not everyone is made for the water.
You must be used to the feeling of the unknown & darkness.

I’m learning to breathe

I know how to sail my oceans
But at times the sea entwines
natural & salt
confusing things, but natural nevertheless
I’m also okay with just a feeling
but not fleeting moments
I’m too used to that
I just want forever
Forever is still fleeting
I guess that’s just a problem I’ll have