Perhaps it isn't age or the years....

Change occurs and perspectives shift when the pain is too deep to continue. Silence is suddenly your best friend and your mind, your best kept secret. I always thought that in order to survive, you needed to let it all out. That the world needed to hear your cry and the waves needed to feel the aching sorrow. Time has taught me otherwise.

Suppressed by my fears, I hide in my shell
and as the crowd cheers they still don't tell.
I make my world stop, rewind, and pause
but why can't I fast forward?
So then I can see, what the future has in store for me.
I do not know why, no one tells
That I'm sick of living in a place I call hell.
I know it sounds rude but what can I say?
I'll be a hypocrite if there was nothing to blame
Because in fact there is, but it's too long to write
so I make my poem short, so you don't lose sight.
I go on everyday carrying fake smiles, fake hello's
and fake hi's
but for certain I keep my dreamy eyes
because they keep me going everyday
wishing all of this would end
and knowing the best is hidden somewhere out there.

Who is that girl? 
that I refuse to see
staring back at me
who could she possibly be?
Flaws delicately pointed out
but virtues waiting to be touched.
Like flowers on a spring morning
there's a voice inside her
shouting and roaring.
Drifting apart everyday
and the memories
don't seem to stay.
She seeks for help
but they just don't tell
what their baby girl needs
is not on sale.
How much time is going to
pass by?
Before they realize,
that it's too late,
that this love that she needs
just can't wait.

-Andrea Dayana Valdez