We are out of eternal bliss
Let me kiss the mauve like lips
Let me kiss the cheeks like new born petals
We are out of eternal bliss

Let me lie between your two malleable hills
Oh my love! My love is out of eternal bliss
Your body- where the pearls are dancers
The pigeon’s hairs are your hairs
Let me go to meet my maker! Let me breathe my last breath! We are out of eternal bliss

I want to feel the feelings, you feel for me,
The rhythms of my lines are calling thee
Sing the heart-beat song that transports me
The rhythms of my lines are calling thee

Open your closed eyes, afraid not- the eyes of the heart are fliers
Our fortune is unfortunate we are out of eternal bliss!

Deep inside, this crazy ride
Where the trees are all withered
There ready to die
Where the ground is not strong and the air is not fresh
Where theres no point in trying, No even a breath
Where the sky is dim and the weathers a mess
Where theres no time for reason, no time for rest
The devil hides out until its time
Even if you didnt do it, you pay for the crime
You may not know where you would go
But you need to get out,
Your body runs slow
You act to the door but there's never enough space
You never move in time, its an unbeatable race
Time to give up, time to give in
You learn to let go, when your living in sin

there could be a worm in my head
gnawing away,
like mice do through cords, and then one day
you realize
oh! the toaster doesn't work anymore!;
my mercy doesn't work anymore!
and my patience went dry like acrylic paint does
when you brush it on the canvas, and want so badly
to blend it
but it can't blend
because it's dried already, so
you should probably try oil paint or something -
I'm losing my mind
picking all the weeds out,
standing tall with peaceful pride and then realizing,
they were beautiful flowers;
I uprooted them and then chucked them in a naughty pile

I'm awful! loud in my head
stop being awful! I'm hurting people
again
and
again
and
again

find a better gardener, please never
ever
ever
ask me to tend to your soil
or your fruit
or your flowers
or anything that has to do with
nurturing
your growth
or heart health
or emotional stability
- I pull roots
like a robot; I don't even look at what I'm pulling
until after
it's been pulled out.

These walls, these four walls they keep him alive.
I sit in them, I look around, I wait to hear his voice, to see him stroll across the room.
Throw the door open mid afternoon and throw himself onto the bed next to me.
Cascading waves of kisses on my body, clutching my waist, running his fingers threw my hair, losing himself with me, neither of us knowing what we're doing, nobody caring, the world was ours, the night was ours.
These walls, these same four walls, they taunt me with weaknesses I now posses.
They flash images of the last time I saw him, screaming his last words at me,
"I think we should stop this."
I turn to the other wall, it continues the nightmare.
"I love you, you know that right?"
I sit up and cover my eyes.
*"I think we should see other people."
"I'm just not sure this is right anymore."
"We're done Lisa, it's over." *

These walls, these dreaded four walls, they keep me prisoner to my thoughts.
They put shackles around my feet, handcuff my arms, and rip out my soul to play with.
They drag it back and fourth, my body playing monkey in the middle, running for survival every time I see his smile
When I feel a warm breath on my neck
A nibble on my ear.
My body, it yearns for life, for passion, for lust.
My body, it fights for its life, drained and confused, numb, yet ambitious.

My vision should be pretty good
                (but you are all I see)