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It's late afternoon
The sky bleeds purple
As buildings claw at its fabric
December breathes coldly
And I feel them as if they are tempests
I can see every crack on the pavement
Hear the footsteps of the ebbing crowd
As if they are thunderclaps
I feel all
And they are all mine
I am awake

It's evening
Streetlamps flicker like flames
The houses are dead silent
And what my gaze befalls is my own
But I am nothing and everything
The horizon is but a blanket
Of a little piece of the universe
Sometimes it feels good to be small
So that the world will be but a giant blur
As if in a dream
I am sleeping

It's finally night
The most beautiful face of the day
For every time I close my eyes
I scatter jewels beneath my eyelids
I paint the silver crescent of the moon on the dome of my skull
And I find peace in the dark where others find fear
In the absence of heaven's eye
Angels sing me to sleep with cherubic lullabies
While my mind grasps at the vastness of the universe
And I have found the greatest escape
I am alive.

It's quiet.
This is the only happy I will ever be.
I understand what your saying
But can it be said in a way that's less

Complacent?
Condescending?
Our points are adjacent.
Maybe that's what isn't comprehending.
Fractured views mending.
See, our argument is nascent
to a conversation. Instead of descending,
we're inventing unrelenting patience
with our ideals.
Don't talk to me, talk with me.
© October 11th, 2013 by Timothy Brown. All rights reserved.
Amidst the silence of an apartment
judgment screams like a stadium broadcast.
The footsteps and chatter coming from the walls
reverberate through all six sides.

Six separate families.
Six separate worlds.
Six separate galaxies.

With one man in the center,
hoping one of those footsteps is for him.
Praying one of those laughs will be familiar.
As he lays on the floor of his home, a small
piece of his hope is chipped as the sounds
fade away into the silence of the night.

Once again he is engulfed by the blackness
he finds so soothing. This is where the footsteps
are for him. This is where the laughter is familiar.
Because they are his own.
Just kinda came to me.
© October 28th, 2013 by Timothy Brown. All rights reserved.
The days have blended into a poetic haze
of mismatched syllables, hanging participles
accented with a hint of discourage.
My purpose use to be therapeutic.

Each rhyme I wrote was a comma in my run-on sentences.
And for awhile, I could breathe. Each breath became less wheezy, uneven and strained.
After I gathered enough air, I dared to speak.
Me? How could I even have the audacity to think!?

To my disbelief, my words didn't fall on deaf ears.
The anxiety, shame, depression and fear woven
into every poem made me familiar in the minds of strangers.
These strangers made me feel human.

With quickness that's comparable to the slickness of a parable
I was ****** from a catapult into the essence of prose.
However, the latency between the beginning of my literary journey
and the discovery of my gift for poetry was afflicting my sensibility.

I succumbed to the bullying from hyperboles
and the taunting of iambic pentameter.
At times I was afraid to talk to neighbors
for fear of narrative structure overhearing.  

Now, I am wandering in a fog
though the hills of unpublished work,
echoed only by the crunch of "not good enough" beneath my feet.
This was therapeutic.  Now I use it to influence my movements.
© December 18th, 2013 by Timothy Brown. All rights reserved.
We desperately cling to
Love, no matter how
Terrible it may be

No matter if it hurts
Us and breaks our being
We just want compassion

So we hand it out
Like candy, something we can
Always obtain more of

But one day the candy well
Runs dry and when we're left crying
The ones who took leave us on the ground

They say we chase after
Love we think we deserve
That we want what we can't have

I never realised how true
The words rang until
It was too late

And now I'm faced with
The challenge every day
Because of what I think

I think I don't deserve love
Because I push them away
Where they should stay

I guess I am fortunate
I have discovered a person
Who thinks I am worthy of love

Even when I think
I am too scared, too nervous
Too ashamed or broken

Thank you for believing in me
When I cant even have faith
In my own self
When I was little
I would stare up at
My mother and think to myself
That's what I want to be when I grow up

I wanted nothing more than
To become my mother
Who tucked me in
Kissed my scrapes

Who nurtured me
Brought me water when I was
Sick and sang me to sleep
And who told me how strong I was

Little did I know
That moms are dished out
Their own servings of problems
But my mom was different

She was served piles of
Left overs and week old bread
Water unfit for a dog
And dessert was scarce

Later I learned I was the dessert
So was my father
Though he was more sour than others
She didn't care, she loved it all

But as I've grown older
The piles of unfit food
Are tumbling down
Right on top of me

My mother's food labeled
Bipolar, depression
Anxiety, self harm
Body image issues and so much more

More than one person should
Be dished up, more than
One person can stomach
Too much for the plate to handle

The plate is cracked, chipped
Used, with a residue still blanketed over
And we've learned our eyes are bigger than
Our stomachs and we attempt the plate alone

But you can't handle a full course meal
If you're stomach is so small

I've learned that even though
Doctors label my mother
Crazy and unstable
I still crave to be her

Because she's survived through
What seems like everything
And she is not only alive
But my mother is living

Maybe not the way she imagined
But she still tries to make
The best of each day
She does so much with so little

Yes, I still want to be my mother
I want to be strong and brave
Kind and nurturing
I want to be everything she thinks she isn't

Because she is my everything
I love you, mommy.
Every word I every penned I stole from you....



As each kiss became poetry
born of flesh
pressed soft against mine own

whose tongue
both muted and inspired
to speak aloud those silent pauses...

held gentle within each
heated breath

to give voice to that wanton ache
I felt
when er' your lips
ceased their tender ministrations

Forming open pauses

between

each

line

that ached to be filled
with further words

born
of further

kisses.
 Dec 2013 Andrea Espinosa
SEM
pity
 Dec 2013 Andrea Espinosa
SEM
I see you there
the lack of body
the lack of hair
you are wearing thin

you have no one else to turn to
and you turned to her
I see your view point
I see why
but I refuse to care anymore
you have my pity
and that is all
 Dec 2013 Andrea Espinosa
SEM
tat
 Dec 2013 Andrea Espinosa
SEM
tat
the needle hums
touching my skin
as it drones on

the pain
is intense
pupils dilating
the teacher speaks on

carving with her words
into my skin
a forever sin
 Dec 2013 Andrea Espinosa
SEM
I am
meant
to be alone
with my thoughts
and letters
my paper
and pen
only
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