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Nov 2023 · 69
Hope hurts
Grumpy Dwarf Nov 2023
Seasons change like paintings outside the windows
Nestled in, looking out, they never seem to care
Only my path seems to be clouded in winter
Look around there's never a chance I dared

In the darkest there's a light at the end of the tunnel
The one I thought was lost and hated from before
It's bittersweet, the way it rises from its ashes
When I could've swear I wouldn't see it anymore

And I can see it taunting me and promising new hurtings
I can hear it burning like it never stopped
There's a duality of wanting it to fill me completly
And walk way, turning my back to never pass that door

Leap of faith is such a tantalising thought
Devoid of meaning, a ghost vanishing in the air
Constructed worlds are populating my subconscious
But I truly know not a part of them will ever be there

Seasons changing as they always do
Numbing cold, complacent heat shaping the atmosphere
Lungs breathe an illusion of life
I move away but I can't disappear

Seasons changing, fog remaining inside
Dec 2018 · 599
Quiet Power
Grumpy Dwarf Dec 2018
Can you feel it tonight?
We go by the moonlight
When  the street is brand new
Silvery but gold stricken too

In the absence of light
Shadows try to survive
Not this time, nevermore
We rise up and open the door

My pain is reeling
I don't care about her tears
No my heart has no feeling
It went numb over the years

Made a tower of smoke
To replace what you took
Red reflexions, red wine
Keep it full till I survive

Dance away like a doll
Turn away when you call
With the moon watching me
Quiet strenght, full bravery

My demons are reeling
They don't care about my tears
No my heart has no feeling
It went numb over the years
Feb 2018 · 193
Kinds of People
Grumpy Dwarf Feb 2018
There are two kinds of people

The ones that break you into a million pieces just because they can;

The ones that pick every single one of them, no matter the depths and darkness they have to face,  merge them back together  and offer that mangled mess to you as if it were a treasure, just so you can become whole again

I've met the first kind
Someday I'll meet the second
Nov 2017 · 179
Numbness
Grumpy Dwarf Nov 2017
Time passes like a fistful of sand escapes through the fingers
The clock ticks at the same rythm everyday
Nothing disrupts my existence, there are no triggers
Repetition merged with me and is taking me away

Try to climb and hang on the little thread called hope
I scratch and move and cry without wavering
Something's missing, everything resumes to emptiness
So I find myself at the same place everyday

Cold days replace hot summers
Leaves die, are born and burnt away
My soul is intact and delirious
It doesn't find a home to stay

Where do I look now?
What do I do with a worthless existence?
Dive into uncharted waters so I can drown again

There's no peace in numbness, only quiet desperation
Oct 2016 · 635
Heartstrings
Grumpy Dwarf Oct 2016
Struggling to keep my head afloat
Apparently you need air to breathe
Sweet nothings decay into burning dust
And from completion I turn again incomplete

In that water you don't live or die
The pressure crushes your chest thin
The earth rotates for everyone I see
But my earth is a black pit within  

Heartstrings are as fragile as a feather
My feathers flew away with you
I'm not gonna weave them anymore
They end up cut all the way through

Don't touch my heartstrings if you're not planning on writing a song
Sep 2015 · 331
No Change
Grumpy Dwarf Sep 2015
I look at you like you're the best
Staring at the corner of your eye
Faintly pausing my sight on you
Worrying yours will encounter mine

Aware of your presence next to me
I freeze and become a dummy everytime
Building up walls and feelings alike
Wonder and doom battling on my mind

Silly dreams fade when you're awake
Leaving the emptiness of worlds never built
Something meaningful is lost on fantasies
Your only desire is reaching out to it
Sep 2015 · 445
Trains
Grumpy Dwarf Sep 2015
Sandcastles sitting on air
That time you walked in
Coming from nowhere

You looked just like me
When I looked at you
We got to be a second of truth

The whole episode
Was a parade from then on
The walls were up high
And the stares not as long

Goodbye, it wasnt as sweet
And filled with elation
But the missing part feels the same
Unchanging
Jun 2015 · 951
Clash
Grumpy Dwarf Jun 2015
I've been around
Haven't seen anything
You clash with me now
And suddenly I can't even blink

Touch of a lion, strong and safe
Ripping apart my notion of being awake
Moving with purpose, circling in
Clash with desire, my skin feels the ache

Feel that burn wish it to stay
Living for moments when the sparks ignite into flames
Savour a second that lasts for a night
Take a detour lets open our eyes
Dec 2014 · 1.0k
New Kind
Grumpy Dwarf Dec 2014
Strum my chords away like I was made of sound
Take me to a place where I can no longer be found
And show me how we synchronize

Won't you light up those eyes, mine are glued onto you
Feeling more than seeing, show me something true
A flame that burns like you do

Say what you really mean and let go of your ties
Touch me with a finger and see the magic arise
Be different, set me on fire
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
New Age
Grumpy Dwarf Nov 2014
Time is timeless
It does not heal
We do
A rush of blood and new life comes to pass
Through  our bodies and minds
And it stings
But heals
Life is renewal
We resist it with vigor
Just because we don't know
How good it feels
To be alive, scarred, bruised and beaten
But existing again
It truly is remarkable our ability to be reborn
To see possibility again, and not only impossible dreams
Apr 2014 · 9.2k
"The Song Remains the Same"
Grumpy Dwarf Apr 2014
Why can't you be horrible and full of unforgivable flaws?
Why does it gets worse and not better inside my stupid, devoted heart?
Why do you still feel the same to me?
Your skin hasn't lost that scent I knew
The scent I still know and can remember by simply closing my eyes
The scent I still desire and find familiar
Even if it really never was
Mar 2014 · 807
Not today
Grumpy Dwarf Mar 2014
I always saw it coming
Can't say that I'm surprised
You're just like everybody
And I believed your lies

Truth be told I wish
I had the strength to do it
Rip you away from inside
Forget you, mean it and prove it

Life's been harsh in this town
It's a struggle in every front I lead
Selfishness is all around
Your picture makes it harder to breathe

You don't care, you don't know
And all I know is I'll be cured someday
A time will come when all my being
Won't care enough to ask you to stay

I heard you all those times and believed
I saw us in my longing for that "one day"
Millions of times and tears fell out of place
Always for you,

Just not today
Mar 2014 · 594
Int(f)ernal Crossroads
Grumpy Dwarf Mar 2014
You're reason, barely heart you show
I'm both of them, both consume me
Both distort things I should know

Your nature's light but not inconstant
That's my belief,my hope
Two lonesome stupid plays of my mind
That cannot follow their quiet oath

Time's relentless, it leads you somewhere else
There is not much that I can really do or say
The heart's wounded, mind's so very tired
But my hands can at least invite you to stay
Feb 2014 · 469
The Searching Paths
Grumpy Dwarf Feb 2014
I'm crazy for your eyes  
Those multicoloured spies
The way they search reality
The way they used to look at me

You cannot feed these hungry mirrors
Without the boldness of the fearless
I cannot find them looking for me
I search the air, the illusion, the debris

So I shall stay and you shall float
Away from me, away from us both
Find a treasure, if you  haven't already
I'll be here ripped apart but steady
Dec 2013 · 709
Too long
Grumpy Dwarf Dec 2013
I long....
I long for all the things you said
I never promised you anything, never made plans
But you did.

You filled my head up
With those artificial pieces of memory never made
With all those erratic and untouchable fantasies
The ones I still see in my head, you know
The ones that are still part of what I want, of what I am
The same ones you seem to share not so subtly with another
When I always thought they were ours
Not perfect, not right now, not the most important by far
Not even real, but ours
Yours and mine
Together

As if that means anything to you
Dec 2013 · 711
Not different
Grumpy Dwarf Dec 2013
I've given you more tears than you deserve
You did not tell me
But you threw me away long ago

And all I knew is you were different
And all I know now is you're just the same
Used me up when you needed it,
Threw me away when someone better appeared beside you
So easy to left me behind....

But it's becoming easier for me to stitch it up
You will be a scar...
Once so different, so unique, so special
You will become just one more
I'm working on it,
You just didn't need to make it so easy
Nov 2013 · 636
Once and for all
Grumpy Dwarf Nov 2013
This is unlimited pain
There's no relief to attain
Slash, slash... there goes my heart
Another level up on this game of scars
Healing wounds reopened to bleed
Bleed me out so I can finally believe
The end is near
I need you to be my hangman
Oct 2013 · 579
About me
Grumpy Dwarf Oct 2013
I hate that I dream about you
When you don't even spare me a moment in your thoughts
I care like it was yesterday
Time passes, we changed but my stupid self carries feelings all the same

Drop them, I always say
Get rid of everything that hurts you
But I won't listen
And it slices me open again and again

Uncertainty and doubt
That's what you give me
But you know what?
Of one simple thing I'm sure
Someday it won't be about you
It will be about me
Sep 2013 · 729
Sing Me a Song
Grumpy Dwarf Sep 2013
Sing me a song that doesn't come so easy
Break it apart let's scrutinize the pieces
Don't give up now, we'll bend the road as we go
I've been so afraid but now it's time you know

It's still you and me, the melody didn't change
Play the strings of my heart as you guard your defence
I build a wall of words that you sing in your song
We play it back and forth but the lyrics are wrong

It's time we let it out let the music be true
No more rhymes than don't start with me and you
We'll tear down the walls with vibrations of voice
It's time to play it right, time to make a choice
Aug 2013 · 949
My Sweet Bear
Grumpy Dwarf Aug 2013
My sweetest, soft and warm ball of fur
My company, my detour
My friend with loyal antics
I'll miss you, being human is just semantics
Suffering never deserved
Connections are not only made of words
Being special is an understatement
Even dead and sprawled on the pavement
But we'll always have this statement
Ours is the best kind of love
Aug 2013 · 805
Mirror
Grumpy Dwarf Aug 2013
I feel you in every way
I see your mistakes
And I hate you for them
And you fail when you try to ammend them
Because failure is all you know
That's why mirrors are a no show for me
Because the hopeless face of your enemy
It's in truth a reflection of your own
Jun 2013 · 608
Limbo
Grumpy Dwarf Jun 2013
Please don't make me dream of you
As I wake up tired and still unmoved
Restless with a feeling of dread
And another stream of tears unproved

For dreamless I long to be again
Blind to everything that comes with sleep
The sweet in the bitter doesn't feel enough anymore
And illusions are not good company to keep

Rest assured I won't be reckless,
Rest assured perhaps I will...
Jun 2013 · 560
Nothing's changed
Grumpy Dwarf Jun 2013
So the distance is longer
These miles stretch away
No more closeness of sight but my heart writes your name
With a word, a salute, sleepy embers awake
Not of fondness of memory
But of present delight, even though an illusion
Feels so strong
So real, so right
May 2013 · 547
Opression
Grumpy Dwarf May 2013
Can the wind bring it back as it took it away?
Nothing's floating around,the water's calm at the bay
Then the moment it comes as a scream is overheard
Flailing arms, desperation and heads start to turn
All the patrons around follow him with their eyes
Mistified, frowning foreheads, watching his demise
As the emperor falls, darker clouds fill the sky
Those who watched didn't act, those who fought didn't cry
In the aftermath glory or tragedy as seen on theirs heads
The quiet returned, nothing's been learned, they lay sleepless on their beds.
May 2013 · 815
Defining the 8th
Grumpy Dwarf May 2013
What are you? How do you fit in my life?
You fit everywhere but never in the present
Future please hurry I want to be whole

I crave you always dear friend, I never stop
As I lie and say I have no hope left
It's when I find hope growing inch by inch
Liar I may be but never hopeless

Slowly and fast and alternating
Caos is vicious stopping my attempts

Please head, you know how I'm growing older
Please do not pretend, let my heart take over
Apr 2013 · 1.5k
Looks of reunion
Grumpy Dwarf Apr 2013
A thousand looks ago
Another year has passed
So many occasions without a show
But killer stares were made to last
It all became a new sensation
As a reunion was forged in steel
A flame ignited by your presence
Whose words denied the way I feel
Apr 2013 · 520
White and blank, and full
Grumpy Dwarf Apr 2013
Like a new blank paper on a new notepad
There's a past full of lies you can disregard
And go on, like we've never met before
A chalkboard eraser makes way to new lines
Unpolished sentences became perfect rhymes
We don't talk, the hearts walked out the door

And there's a brand new day and it's meant to be better
Everyone around us say we change like the weather
We never cared, now we start steady with no regrets
You know the heart never leaves without a map to get back
You can run away wherever and act to cover your tracks
I know not how, it saves the moments we're at our best
Mar 2013 · 460
Alone in between
Grumpy Dwarf Mar 2013
It's time you know
As I'm convinced that you still care
That if you wanted I'd be bare
Dispose of every cruel thought
In the same way
I'd give you the real parts of me
I'd want a chance to relive
All the things we were not

Not everytime, not everywhere
I barely know, where do you stand?
Sometimes I think I do
But through those times, through these times
Of self inflicted happy rhymes
My will always collides with you
Feb 2013 · 616
State of Heart
Grumpy Dwarf Feb 2013
Nights, days and in betweens
Crazy thoughts, confusing dreams
Revelations don't come to me
As I lay awake in reverie
There are no pictures to memorize
Only absence to criticize
Round and round spinning away
Maybe it's time to breakaway
Feb 2013 · 530
Clueless?
Grumpy Dwarf Feb 2013
To the mountains and then back
Did you ever reached a peek?
I can tell you no one knows
Your story to be so sweet
Or maybe it's me, blind and deaf
Stuck and unmoving as I stand
Hearing words, seeing shapes
Was I unable to understand?

— The End —