Here I am back again
Again to the emptiness of my life

Here I go again to the chase of meaning
To the man of unanswered questions

Here I run again to the past
The past I keep visiting where I thought I had a life

But here I am again
Knowing I am back to square one

I had a dream
I ran and ran
And ran and ran
I saw something
Far away like a sparkle
Flickering its light
Alone in the darkness
Telling me to come closer
My eyes opened!!!
I thought I saw you
I was wrong
Coz' I woke up next...

Without you, I just can't live
This thirst, this curse, I just can't
Without you, oh without you girl
I'm nothing, nothing but a broken man.

Oh girl I couldn't get you
Took you for granted
I should've listened to my heart
But now its too late
Too late to forgive me
For what I did
Even though you told me so
I couldn't get you
Now, now I'm just a lonely man
A lonely lonely man
Without you, without you
I am nothing but a broken man

What is truly mine?
Thoughts and emotions,
Feelings and physical self
In this physical world
All comprising and surrounding my life
A sense I seldom overlook
But deep down the tunnel when I look carefully
A sense of my life overwhelms me.

My feet on the ground, the ground moves
The ground, the world, the universe
You lead me, you guide me
My path, you choose, you decide
Unfulfilled and puzzled, reason unsolved.

Today my foot got stuck in the mud
I removed my foot
Missing puzzle piece solved
My decision, my choice, my guidance, my path
My feet on the ground now my feet move.

Fingers on the strings
Singing the songs of heaven
Flying between clouds with our wings
Amused at this holy creation

"If only it was real"
From an old brain
"Why, does it lack the feel?"
From a fresh brain

Internalization of concepts
Painting our life with your brush
The idea of fear or even dare and courage
The infiltration of the human touch

Through the lenses of a child once in a while
When all we knew was just dream
Never questioning the impossibilities
When all we knew was just jump and swim

Corruption of our mind
Living with all these lies
These human and his kind
Unfortunately, this is just life

But once in a while through the lenses of a child
When all we knew was just dream
Never questioning the impossibilities
We could just jump and swim

The restrictions
From age and from family
The limitations
From ourselves or some other entity

Through the lenses of a child
When thoughts were pure and untouched
When all we did was just dream
Let’s jump and live the life of impossible just for a moment
For every moment...

Times when the spirit goes down
Times when both the hands are not enough
Times when hearing something good is the only craving
This is the only time when the only most needed person is me
For my own validation
For my own inspiration
Empathizing my own emotions
Leaning on my own shoulders
Wiping my own tears
Accepting my own fears
Sensing my own sensitivity
Soothing myself with soft words
Remembering that bad times are temporary
And in this temporary time that I have
Carried on and hung on with myself
That I stood by myself in need
That I understood myself and my needs
That I build this trust with myself
That I know now in times when the spirit goes down
I have me always to carry on with myself.

This is a feeling from inside
Irrational as its nature
Strictly pure and untouched
I hereby face the truth

Unclear, vague, foggy vision
Surrounds the mind
Clutch my nerves, motionless  
The truth it is the reason

This time attention I will give
I will face and I will look
Straight without judgment
As it is the truth I face

Things I do
Stupid and spontaneous
These reactions, these behaviors
They are very real as you, the truth

The comfort I seek
Through these eyes of discomfort
The thirst of equilibrium
I found, and I am sure I will find it again

As I faced the truth
The truth the very reason
As I looked into the truth’s eyes
The truth always reveals the reality

The tip of your nails on my skin
Slowly grazing back and forth;
The little dances of your hair
Above my face with each breath in and out;
A dreamlike vision,
A charming creation.

Your scent and your aroma all over
Lingering behind each meeting;
Whenever you close your eyes
Lies miles of beauty only observer tastes
And when I pull you next to me
Is when I realized it’s actually a reality.

The lies of nature
The nature of the beings
The unruly flow
The flow of the beings
The easily given words
The words of the beings
The meanings behind intentions
The intentions of the beings
The beings with beings
The real value and contradictions
The day of realization
The realizations of the beings
The like and unliked fits
The fittings of the beings
The only important of all
The trust of beings
The only trust that ever needed
The beings’ own trust in his being

The state of smoothness and rhythmic flow
The vibe of calmness and dimly glow
The sight of pleasantness and majestic show
The terrifying sound and unfinished piece
Is what it is, the feeling, the unsatisfaction
Even in poetry without no understanding of rhyme and flow
Is when I realized
It is life and how it is
That I will never be fully understood
That I have to live, me and my own mood
Trying to make some senses
From my own little lenses
Where I try to create paradise
Making the unfinished terrifying piece
A melodic heavenly harmony
Soothing to my only ear for my own understanding
That I live this life without any compromises.

I feel the ease,
Like wind blowing freely in the ocean.
My fingers and these words
Belonging as the words to the mouth.
Time stops as I sit here with you
That you always show me the taste of my own being.
And if I would have to go through once more the ride of life train,
I would go through you like I did again and again.

Grazing at you while you walk in front me;
Staring at your green eyes when filled with the aroma of fondness;
Falling deeper at your wittiness and burst of laughter;
Dragging me down again to the pits of your sweetness and warmth,
You are here and you are there,
I will always remember you wherever you are.

I felt the ease,
Like wind blowing freely in the ocean.
My fingers uninterrupted with these words,
Time storms like hurricanes, fast and destructive
Leaving a scar deep,
That you just showed up
That you already had messed me up then
And here you are leaving me like you always do again and again.

Why do we keep putting ourselves down
Believing in our own lies?
How creative are we to fool ourselves with our own words
Trusting them as realities.

Following my own set of rules to destruction,
Craving for validation and people to our own happiness,
When happiness is just a state of mind not a result.
The culprit, the brainchild, the source, "thoughts".

Barriers and walls are broken
Beliefs are bent,
The mind goes to the hole of confusion,
When we realize there were no walls to begin with.
All and all being created,
Imaginatively, concretely,
Each measure of the brick
So true and so false.

Tricks and games
Manipulation and lies
All has a reason
And all with an end.
But embedded in it,
Lies a piece of wisdom
A wise reaction to the actions
An answer to our very "thoughts".

This short span of creation called "life"
Why do we tend to lead it with worry?
To inadequacy and lack of trust,
While all we have to do was just to love ourselves.

Love ourselves so much till we love every single being.
Appreciate each incapabilities as our unique traits,
Each failures as our own personalities,
Every mistakes as our biggest prizes won.

As in these lies our biggest trust to ourselves,
To the construction of our own personalities,
To the acceptance we so crave for
And also, to love and be loved.

My skin soft
My bones weak
My age immature
My broken spirit

A circus of possibilities
To every problem and remedies
Yet questioning my insanity and abilities
"Am I even possible?"

My skills deficient
My imagination corrupt
My vision bent
My self-image disgust

A dream meaningful and big
Once was now downhill
Questioning my insanity and abilities
"Am I even possible?"

A spill of my own prison
A path to my own oblivion
A thirst of inner expression
A sudden spark to my salvation

Am I even possible
Tell me Lord, is it worth the tears?
Are we born with wonders?
Or die wondering - "If ever I was possible?".

In this world of turmoil and despair
How do we survive and the faults we repair?
This world of superficial extent of my depth
My own denial and promises unkept.
This world inside that I am talking about,
The **** dark and shallow turns inside out.
Even this very thing that I do
Won't help much I knew.
I sound pathetic,
Angelically demonic,
Well willingly manipulative,
Passively aggressive.
Unsound version of this internal world
Shreds the skins and silent cold
This **** world that we live in
First we die externally till we try to fit in.

The voices inside talks and in multiple highs it trips
In the midst here I passively shout.
The trashes and my internal gossips
Here they are to put me in doubt,
Questioning my existence and the unknown trips.
But you know what, I will stay align and to this I vow
To being uncomfortable and reaching beyond pain
To appreciate this little spark of life and its beauty again and again.

A beautiful being close by
Told me once clear but shy
Things I write are not as dry
Bring feelings to laugh and cry

A beautiful soul painted mine
A picture, I still look inside till nine
Green leaves and bright sunshine
Filled with joy when we wine and dine

A beautiful human, my muse
My inspiration, my blues
The melody sung and flowed
This spark that ever glowed

My hands on the pen to mindless freedom
My muse, the reason
Red cheeks and emotions amused
To this beautiful angel my unpaid dues

I feared then none in times dark and confused
Since you were there close by with me my beautiful muse

We write in times, inspired and amused,
Times when we have things to say.
With my inspiration, my companion, my muse
But here I am, alone and astray.

Breathing but suffocating,
Feeling but hurting,
Dreaming but regretting,
Yearning but leaving.

Why do I write this, to whom?
To you, its for you "Anonymous".
Cheers to me and to doom,
As I lay here, slowly losing my purpose.

Hey you,
I am writing a letter
How do you do?
It's me if you remember

Laces and shoes
Lights and colors
Any option you choose
The other is me hope you can refer

Hey you,
Maybe if you read this one day
Tell me after how do you do
Bad is still fine but please don't go away

Stickers and glue
Shapes and clay
Tell me you see the clue
Like attracts like as everyone say

Hey you,
I am finishing the letter
Would you also ask me how I do
And give me a kiss later?

Taxes and dues
Your heart and my future
I know I have to pay for it too
Now I see clearer

What a surprise
You came out of the blue
Was it strange
To watch my face without a clue?

I still feel your warmth
When I hold your hands tight
Do you feel it too
Tell me you also feel right

I saw you smile
You were dancing and like a star shining
Tell me you were looking at me too
Do you agree, you and me what a thing?

Do you also feel what I am feeling?
Hope you do and tell me something
Don't keep me for long waiting
Do you still agree, you and me what a thing?

I do not know if you notice
But I do look at you and you too I wish
I do not know if you understand me
Things I say just at you to look at me
Your laugh, I enjoy it so much hearing
Just for that I would even dance and sing
You are so calm and gentle
When you are next to me its hard to handle
My emotions whether to give you a clue
Can't you see all these things I do?
When I look at your green eyes next time
Please don't look away from me my sunshine
A stupid guy like me falls too
Stumbled down this world when I found someone like you.

You are here so close to me
Sitting next, but No I can't see
I thought about us a lot
We were in the same boat
Lots of promises and expectations
Now only lessons and self evaluations
But no regrets yet
Such wonderful time we had
Present is not the right time for us
You are far shinier and way brighter
I am rusted and need an understanding
Re-polish myself and fix my wings
And one-day, God, maybe one-day
Could you give me one more chance to look at you and say
Within you there is something very very true
God, the most beautiful person I know is you.

shattered my will
scratched and torn
this lack of acceptance
and the clash of the boundaries unknown

from whom am i looking this validation
you? this world?
turmoils of unknowns and unsatisfied feelings
crashing expectations and crushing wills

expectations of me and myself and the world
please don't ask me for more
empty and confused here i am
killing me and my will

i see it wide and clear now
       clouds up the brain block you
dark down to the vapors and rain in it  
        floods the head sheds as tears mixed
with bloods from the heart
       make it salty and cold
i will walk it though
       makes me real, honest and stronger
but **** does the heart withers alone
       the soul broken down to the knees
the expectations and dreams crushed
       things and things and lot more things
that i thought of to tell
       a lone being now again
when i thought i live again
       or actually i am living
maybe this was meant
       this was written in my name already
no i won't, no more tears
       no more
no more
       this is it
its already enough
       it was deep
inside it touched me
       almost made a hole through
or else i wouldn't have made it
       be able to tell this now
i keep writing these and feel emptier
       i will dream and dream more
i will feel and feel more
       i will love and love more
i will die and die more
       like i just did.....

No I will not write about this
This feeling I have in me
I will not express
Let it consume me and drown me

Hits us hard
Tears us apart
Plays with our heart
And shows us heaven afterward.

Why do we do the things we do?
I sit here putting down words like I am suppose to
Born this way or that no clue
Only thing is I just like what I do!