You infuriate me to the point that I
Ball my hands into fiery fists,
And cry a Red Sea into my palms.
You're a ******* parasite,
A virus.
Hell, you're an epidemic;
Infectious.

I'm weak.
I so badly want to forgive him.
He's got that cute kind of side smile that you just can't stay mad at,
And those lips like a black hole, pulling everything around, until all you can focus on is him.
His voice is smokey, and I inhale it until I can no longer breathe.
And those eyes
Eyes like sapphires,
But by no means is he a gem.

You lit the first spark, and that was all it took. I was ready to believe that I was ready for love. I was not.
2. You were the first flame, but I stood too close to the fire and it singed  my insides to the point that I felt like nothing more than ashes. Worthless
3. You unhinged my previous thoughts for awhile, and replaced them with your soft lips and warm eyes.
4. You caught me at a good time and helped me stay there for a couple months, but you grew up, while I remained stationary.
5. I found myself at home in your arms, between the trees, and under the stars.
6. I met you in the midst of a hazy summer and I have yet to decode what it is that you mean to me. But like all lost lovers, we're bound to find ourselves no longer misplaced.

The snow moves swiftly,
Silently falling to earth,
Green grass to cold white.

You've ruined blue eyes,

For when I gaze into his,

I'm still seeing you.

The other day I woke up to the smell of your absence clinging to my skin. I took 8 showers that day and I am still not quite sure if it's possible to feel a phantom limb where there wasn't one in the first place.

2. The way that squirrels cross the street makes a lot of sense all of a sudden. I'm sure no one told you that you have a way of making their skin crawl in the most desperate way. I still can't eat on your side of the bed without choking on the residue your dreams left.

3. I read the obituaries like I used to read the creases your smile left, they're not meant for me.

4. Stars manage to keep their deaths a secret for years I wish I were as committed to forgiveness as they were. I stuck my hands in scalding water today and left them there until they begged for redemption, it sounded a lot like your name.

5. It took me two years to find out your middle name, that is not a metaphor. I used to think that the slower I said it the sweeter it would taste. I stick my fingers down my throat hoping to find the words you left there I'm so sorry for being too weak to say them back then I'm so sorry they couldn't make you stay. I drew highway maps on the palms of my hands that led me right back into my own arms, how is that for irony.

6. Television.

7. Lips that don't bruise when they touch my own, I want a love like a car crash. I want painful, and desperate, and no good for me, I want to not want this.

8. I've blown out so many candles I'm suprised I haven't put all the stars out yet. If the universe were capitalist shooting stars would be marketing to my demographic. I would be the poster child for wishes that will never come true.  

9. Novels that end exactly as you hoped they would

10. Nearly 160,000 people died in the 1945 bombing of Hiroshima, Japan. 69% of the city was left in ruin. The radiation caused by the explosion was said to effect those living in Hiroshima for the next 30 years. From what I know, hospital walls are lined with cynicism and pain and I can't think of anything worse than oblivion than near oblivion.

I used to look into your eyes and see galaxies.
And I'd chase you to the end of the universe,
Running laps around the solar system just to get your attention.
But now all I see are eyes.

You used to look at me like I was a goddess and I'd simply stare back in awe because I'd never experienced anything so rich with emotion,
Such deep and fiery breaths of passion embedded within our every inhale.

But instead, we'll close our eyes and let sleep blanket our never-still thoughts, for it's completely irrational and I'm tired of running.