I spent six years playing padiddle
with the shine in your eye
each time you winked.
Now I am falling asleep
beneath a blanket of sweat
imagining how few seasons are left
before the honeybee
is only able to live in captivity.
I would never touch you with angry hands.
Apparently I could never touch you
with the right words either.
“It is hard to hate a broken thing.”
Even harder sometimes
to accept some things
are broken.
Difficult Indifference is an apprentice poem that I wrote after reading Lisa Ferguson’s poetry collection, It’s Hard to Hate A Broken Thing. Ferguson’s poetry alluded to all different kinds of relationships and inspired me to think about some of the damaged relationships in my own life. As much as I keep trying to save my bestfriend from her marriage, I realize that maybe she isn’t ready to let it go, even if her marriage is abusive and detrimental to our friendship as well as her wellbeing. My friend refuses to recognize that her romantic relationship is broken; it has taken me awhile to realize that our friendship is broken in a lot of places, too. The honeybee reference brings the poem back to nature, keeping it simple. People farm bees, and sometimes seem to take the honey that they produce for granted – much like how my friend takes the support I constantly try to offer her for granted.