She was tired of pretending.
Pretending to be fine,
Pretending to be happy.
And then one day,
She pretended to win the fight with pretending.

Ever felt like life is unfair to you?
Ever felt like you've no true friends?
That the world is very cruel to you?
Got confused among who's your best friend?
Made bunch of friends but no one there in time of help?
Ever felt that way?
Ever felt mopey and dim-witted without a SLR , because everyone's busy changing their Dp's on FaceBook with one.
Ever felt like buying those 6 inches shoes ,though we'll never walk in it , but people got to see it ,right?
Ever felt like cutting internet connection from your house, because of that we're not able to achieve all the great conquests of life.
Ever felt like ,you've wasted all the opportunities life had given you and now you're futile , plus it's too late to start all over again?
Ever felt scared of telling that person that how much you like them?
Ever? Ever felt like you're ugly?
Ever felt like you're not one of those magical school guys or gals of Hogwards.
Ever felt like "No, you're not awesome." Ever felt like "I'm not in a relationship , am I that ugly?"
Ever felt like no one loves you?
Ever felt like the whole world is happy , but not you?
Ever felt like you **** in everything?
Ever felt like killing that person because he/she is flirting with the person you love?
Ever felt like to know what you're from other people's view? Well , that's life.

I remember how he walked through the door;
How sunnily it begun.
I remember the white color of his shirt on which DPS GANDHINAGAR was written.
I remember his crooked smile and also his sweet words.
I remember how he said 'Hey,Amaya'; While I blushed and flushed!
He simply became my crush.
I remember thinking that for life he was mine,when suddenly my dreams were crushed.
There was lot of pain and ache and sorrow,And I remembered how sunnily it had begun.
After crying over him for months I found someone whom I loved.
Then came another storm,it took him away from me for forever and I didn't care;
For I had learned what infatuation was!

Then I got to know that Roger Federer is the one.

Forever is a lie
You disparaged me and left
Tomorrow I'll fall again
Not in love but in need
For that cute guy in my class
You don't define forever
You and me don't forever
We may have infinite chasm between us
But infinity doesn't define forever either

One day you'll realise ,
I'm not the one who's vindictive,
They're my thoughts which are igniting.

One day you'll realise,
My short replies didn't mean that I had nothing to say,
I was just scared of my thoughts being judged.

One day you'll realise,
I wasn't really shy,
I was just afraid of opening up.

One day you'll realise,
All those mean messages which I had sent you,
I was double hurt while writing it..and I could have been more mean but, I loved you.

One day you'll realise,
I am rarest of the stars,
And by the time, I'll be gone.

We just have a few months to go
a few more juvenile fights to handle
a few more days of sneaking out of the class
and for the first time
I don't want the bell to ring early

As each second passes
the dress seems to crease
the dust settles
layer by layer
fighting its way through
it's the last time I'd wear my favorite clothes

The pencils start to shorten
erasers still get stolen
those notebooks still have our chats
the green board carries your creativity
benches would be my favorite mini bed
I promised myself
as I lay my hands on it

My hippocampus reached near to full
lacrimal glands prepare itself
tongue waiting to utter words I never spoke
one last time
salivary glands would miss it recess job
coming from the ground
after playing in the sun
sudoriferous glands loved those strokes of light

I could hear the radiating, chirpy , & shuddering voices
coming from the corridor
happy faces, sad faces, frowned faces,crying faces
promising each other to stay in touch -
half lies
the emotional fools who believed it

I remember crying on my first day
as soon as I stepped
I felt like running away
who knew this would become my favorite destination?

Tears roll down my eyes
Every time I think of the memories we've left behind
From sharing all my messy thoughts to finding a girl for you
How hard this feeling caught me
Before I could free myself, I was into you
Going through those odd letters we wrote for each other
The times we spent ranting, I fell for you

Our friendship turned into something beautiful
Oblivious to the things taking place, you gave me a fairytale
Quite often I wondered if it's for real
But, you said that I deserved this

After spending all the happy time,
And giving me a box full of memoirs
You were gone
It was as if seasons are changing, rapidly
There's rain
Leaves are falling now
Flowers are blossoming then
I feel cold, I feel hot
I didn't know what to do

Who do I go to?
You were my best friend
And I lost you
Those three words ruined everything

They were right when they told me that you’ll leave.
You left.
We have had the best time together. At least I did. And now watching you go was difficult.
Maybe we could have tried.
Tried to make it work out.
But, you didn’t even give me a chance.
You left.
Untold.
Come back!
I will shout.
I will throw away things.
I want you back.
Come back to me.
Don’t leave me like that and go..
You have seen me through all phases
You know how to handle me
I don’t know why I am doing this repetitive rant
But, but, but , please
I beg of you
Don’t go.

The battle of love,
Is fought with love and patience.
You’ll be broken ,
With just memories left;
Shattered with happiness and sadness on the floor of mind;
You’ll die everyday inside to get it all back!
If it has started , it has to end..
I don’t want an ending.
I’ll fight through the dooms day.
But, I don’t want an ending.
Scared with the story coming to an end,
I want to die with story being narrated on my graveyard.
With proud I’ll be listening to this great tale of mine;
With harps and birds chirping in my immortal mind.
I’ll **** the king and the queen because the prince and princess demand to live.
The war has just begun my ostensible admirer;
The love is fair, but I doubt the war.

I'm not able to sleep and the memories don't go,
My mind invaded by the thoughts I don't want to know.

Like a coward I want to be away ,
But then who'll remind you of the things I want to say?

Confused in the mid way,
Lonely and shattered..my heart says, "You deserve better!"

Yes, I'll move on,
With a smile and the memories that we've left behind.

I'll not stop because I'm a fighter.

A fighter who never gives up even when loses every time.

Life full of tragedies, but need just one reason to smile..
Things so complicated that no psychologist can define.
Love so original that no merchant can deny.
Somewhere down I am stuck with the strongest glue which stops me from confiding it to you.
The world is a lie to me, my only truth is you.
The day you told me you love me ,I gave away all my sorrows and pain just for you.
With the hopes in my eyes I was waiting for you the previous winter morning;
You appeared and greeted me with ‘I don’t love you anymore.’
I didn’t believe you and I still won’t.
I trusted you since the day your eyes started lighting listening my name and I trust you;
Because it again light up but with tame.
May the world sinks just like Titanic.
Too afraid to confront, I hid myself;
The pillows started to collect my tears;
The blanket protects me from fears;
The bed gave me the support which was to be given by you..
But oh, lord, you still didn’t take away the pain.
Things locked away in my heart ,
I waited for you to bring the key and listen to the beat.
But you never appeared which made my mind think
‘Do I deserve this?’
I trust you God and I trust you too.
You gave me a lot of agony but made me smile too.
But I challenged God ,
I’ll go through it;
I went, I passed it.
But I lost you, you lost me..
I convinced myself that there are many more guys in this world like you..
But this stubborn heart, never accepts the lie because it’s not meant to.

I don't know
If I'm the problem
Of all my problems
I want to go away
From myself
And sometimes hug myself tightly
And tell myself
'You can do it,
You can take all the agony
Because you're stronger than ever!'

The bird wished to fly,
Up in the air so high;
Not that she didn’t try!
The merciful world ostantiously allowed her;
Spread her wings, ready to fly!
Little did she knew about the interminable rapaciousness of the beings.
She was pulled, rejected and dumped.
The bird still wished to fly!
Too afraid to get hurt again..
To afraid of the exposure..
Too afraid of the people.. the world which is made of.
Morning to night; night to morning,
She thought and thought,
‘What is my aim?’ ,she asked herself.
Confused about self,
Sad about people,
No trust left.
She decided and thought of the reason why she started;
Oh, she wanted to fly!
She stretched her worries into wings..
Yes, she flew!
The world dumped her.
Well, she did the same.