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Nov 2015 · 559
Cloudy Mind, Sunny Smile
amanda martinez Nov 2015
everyday the weather
     changes in
        my head
sometimes working together
     thoughts spin
        the storm is fed

it begins with days
     of rolling, foggy
       air; thick & mysterious
emotional rays
     illuminate groggy
        moods, exposing me: furious

winds pick up
     fast, confusion settles
         stubbornly blinding
sense of self erupts
     last petal
        still alive...binding

roots dig deep
     struggling to hold on
        as climate overpowers
attempting to keep
     thriving til its gone
        so again I can flower

because not all
     days are dull
        billowing, wild
today is fall
     colors are full
        thoughts mild

though you never
     know what the day will bring
       until you open your eyes
the mind is clever
     capable of many things
        accepting what serves & cutting foe ties
Oct 2015 · 428
seductively mysterious
amanda martinez Oct 2015
look in the mirror,
   what do you see?
I see a girl,
   who's forgotten how to breathe.
gaze into those eyes,
   but don't fall to deep.
the depths: unfathomable,
   of all she's tried to keep.
peruse those lips,
   soft and a little bit curious.
they may draw you in,
   stimulating; seductively mysterious.
count her freckles,
   each day's sun-kiss.
wrap her up close,
   don't let her resist.
feel her heart,
   speeding up for you.
each pulse creating a melody,
   humming a song so true.
whisper in her ear,
   all that's on your mind.
be honest with her soul,
   let love be defined.
breath in and out,
   restoring her rhythm.
both hearts beat,
   a harmonious collision.
Sep 2015 · 507
My Morning Melody
amanda martinez Sep 2015
your body close, my only heat
    I close the gap between
morning is here, sun ready to greet
    grasp me tighter, on my head you lean

I turn to meet your gaze
    kissing your face awake; slow
you open your eyes in a blissful daze
    and from those big blue eyes, love flows

the breeze trickles in
    tickling my nose
morning is ready to begin
    you twinkle your toes

wrapping myself in the covers
    you wrap yourself around me
two steadfast lovers
    together we are free
Aug 2014 · 1.2k
Quick, Quick, Slow.
amanda martinez Aug 2014
Breathe: in…out. Lighter with each
breath. Floating like a balloon
in tune with all that has not been reached,


Bare soles covered in earth;
flourishing. Legs intertwined
in vines. A natural rebirth,


A refreshing wave from head
to toe, forming roots beneath
my feet. Skin begins to shed,

Jul 2014 · 726
Let it in
amanda martinez Jul 2014
the rain cascades, watering the soul
the sun a warrior coercing the cold
the leaves rustle, the wind blows
the sand a blanket for vacationing toes
the trees tango, the birds sing loud
the sky a canvas painted with clouds
the night falls, crisp days begin
the earth a poet to be heard; let it in
amanda martinez Jul 2014
Scrunch each of those toes...
feel every minuscule grain of sand.
The warm, salty wind blows;
time whips through each hand.

The sun will keep count…
leave another freckled kiss.
For each trial to surmount,
there will be a taste of bliss.

So let that long hair down.
Close those hope filled, heavy eyes.
Waves crash…retreat; hear each sound.
Let only the  imagination comprise.
even simplicities can be broken down into simple terms
Apr 2014 · 557
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Hit the road baby,
the highway is calling
your name.
Don't hold back, you'd
miss out and that'd
be a shame.
There is so much
to be discovered, and a ton for
you to gain.
I'm not saying
the days aren't going to unravel
without pain...
in the end we
only have ourselves
to blame.
Both dreamers with
monkey minds, that aren't as
easily tamed.
So go on my dear,
the world is turning, there's no time
to refrain.
This love is
too strong; no doubting it will
easily sustain.
I wrote you a letter, but
it couldn't' hold all the love I'd like
it to contain.

However, I can say
one thing…I won't be
far behind.
So hold that close to
your heart as a comforting
piece of mind.
All majestic things
seemingly work out
in due time.
You know that I
love you; doesn't hurt
to remind.
The mountains are
beckoning you love...the future
will be kind.
As soon as I
get all in order, set my
life in line,
I will be on my
way; courageously
flying blind.
Soon enough our
pathes will fall in sync,
gracefully intertwined
Hit the road baby,
the final boulevard to a place our
love will shine.
Apr 2014 · 576
Individually Together
amanda martinez Apr 2014
turn me inside out,
                                 so there is no room to hide.
turn me inside out,
                                 give me a safe haven to confide.
right my wrongs,
                               don't justify them, but understand.
right my wrongs,
                               let me fall, but give me a place to land.
open me up,
                      paint passion before my eyes.
open me up,
                      apprise me with all you hold inside.
cry to me,
                  let the pain rain down.
cry to me,
                 we will leave it all in puddles on the ground.
laugh with me,
                          as all else dissipates.
laugh with me,
                          the more endorphins: the more life we create.
sing to me,
                   let your soul bellow out.
sing to me,
                   the words you have sought out.
live with me,
                      but never wander from all that makes you unique.
live with me,
                      not enabling each others native colors to fall bleak.
join me as one,
                          two souls: one heart, forever.
join me as one,
                          individually together.
Apr 2014 · 952
amanda martinez Apr 2014
as a butterfly
fleets the cocoon
vivaciously flying
towards never land
I love, love

don't let time
turn silent
the answer I find
forever in your eyes
I love, love

dive in with my fate
as an infinity
speaking softly
from what you feel…
when you're with me,
and when you are alone in flight
looking for your journeys

I love, to love

I sit in meadows
fresh, vibrantly green
creating shapes of
the cotton ***** above
I love, to love

breeze tangos with
my hair gently
sun illuminates you
while fluttering by
I love, to love

my heart twinkles
at the thought
never to cease
blissfully fulfilled
boundlessly intertwined
confidently whispering I love

*I love,, to you
Apr 2014 · 1.9k
Bound & Broken
amanda martinez Apr 2014
I sit and watch with a distance.
Everything rushes through me in an instant.
All I can do is quietly grin...and resent you.
Forgetting is easier said, than actually comming through.
Old wounds were bound and broken.
I'm left here with words untouched...unspoken.
Another scar shows, as I slowly heal.
It'll always be there: a reality shield.
There is no moving foward when your attached by a string.
It's like life on a treadmill, no matter how thin.
Like that miniscule piece of thread,
That hangs there, with a pull it may spread.
But in most cases it won't break or tear...
It's just a little piece that will always be there.
April 26, 2010
Apr 2014 · 259
World in Flames
amanda martinez Apr 2014
cross my heart, hope to die
forgive me God, but I tried
to see through this heavy mist
to make of what has come of this
I attempted to stay stong,
I attempted to carry on,
but I can't live a lie
I can't let this pain, just pass by.

question in their eyes; one reason in their heart
because if word gets around, they could be a part.
no compassion in their words
how we live: a bit absurd.

they look at me,
boy it's hard to breath
tears have become my oxygen
there's no way I am keeping them in
my situation: out of their reach
something they'd only see on a movie screen
my life: a reality tv show
my life: so far below.

walk the halls like I walk the city streets
look straight; pace: like there's a clock to beat
focus ahead, so I don't break down
funny how people haven't seen me around
when I need some light, all hope fails
and they blank me out; loneliness will always prevail

a broken heart, a broken dream
a broken girl, torn at the seams
body, in motion
head, high off commotion
focus ungained
not worth the strain
my world is on fire
and I can't get any higher
to watch it all in flames
I'm to caught up in my own vain.
January 9, 2010
words from a very difficult time in my life
amanda martinez Apr 2014
secrets and lies
hidding and cheating
green skies
bad weather repeating
head strong
heart sick
right? or wrong
******* sticks
without answers
taking chances
lessons go unlearned
morals left behind
times have turned
nobody's purity shines
naivety crumbled along with chivalry
innocence is bliss
now, who agrees with me...
how'd it come to this ?
January 5, 2010
Apr 2014 · 499
Flowering Curiosity
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Sprouting from the hells bellow,
true beauty, soon to show.
First sighting of the sun,
roots dug to deep, unable to run.
Budding with insecurity,
not sure if the world believes in me.
Impacted with the rain,
however, bad weather I cannot blame.
It's because of this that I grow.
It's a necessity; not meant to flow.
Petal by petal, beginning to bloom.
All of life's knowledge: unable to consume.
Yet desperate for air,
reaching taller,
rays of hope surrounding me;
I can't help, but believe.
In an untold story, an untold truth:
that life and love....aren't a spoof.
November 23, 2009
Apr 2014 · 1.0k
Whispering Wind
amanda martinez Apr 2014
She stands outside
reason : unknown.
The leaves crackle as they glide.
The wind picks up; trees are blown.

The sun captures her in a spotlight,
rays of hope fall beside her...
hence the cool air: it warms the fright.
The house behind her, fades to a blur.

Racing thoughts escape her head,
taken away with each gust of wind: each whisper.
With all the tears she has ever shed,
all the pain, made history.

Soon the wind falls dead.
She doesn't move, just remains still...
the world frozen, no commotion in her head.
Then it all happens against her will...

A warm breeze brushes her neck,
chills race to the tips of her toes.
She is forced to move, but only to check,
'cause shes off the ground before she knows.

Her mind, still on pause...
a smile brightens her face.
Can't imagine a possible cause;
her heart beats a different pace.

The wind lets out another whisper,
somehow forming a full statement
kiss her
Suddenly her lips gain a tingling sensation...

Not realizing her eyes were closed,
slowly she opens them.
Not sure what her sight may behold...
gradually she gains feeling again.

His presence, now tangible
not just a whisper in the wind.
Her heart, currently unreliable,
but its magic, this feeling, him..
October 19, 2009
another throw back
Apr 2014 · 437
Pick up the Pen
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Words filling empty thoughts:
'needs' and 'wants' they tend to cross.
Letting our surroundings chime in,
No longer comprehend where we're being driven.
Consider every desire, but our own...
Can't even hear our internal tone.
Has died with chilvary.

We look around before we answer,
Hoping someone else steps up faster.
Changing for the sake of image...
Not realizing all the damage

We listen to the moon,
That makes us take a step back.
We listen to the wind,
Who blows us way off track.
We listen to the sun,
Who has a different idea of fun.

We ignor the flowers,
That try to tell us this life is ours.
We ignor the rocks, that try to show us how to be unique.
We ignor the dirt, passing it off as simply bleak.
We ignor the clouds, that are just aiming for our protection.
We ingnor anything that shows true, unconditional affection.

Instead of appreciating the rain,
We sit back and complain.
Hoping our stories will finish themselves,
Not once questioning how we felt.

Should we breathe for a second?
Hear our thoughts come in; let them...
Should we listen to the flowers?
The rocks, the dirt, the rain, the clouds?
Should we listen to our hearts? and then..
For once, pick up the pen.
October 18, 2009
been reading over some of my old work, I have come a long way, but even so the messages are strong and true
Apr 2014 · 883
She was… (part 1)
amanda martinez Apr 2014
-      She was a dreamer who lived in
an insomniac world. Nothing came easy…
      every time she tried to begin,
she would stumble and fall, but that
    didn’t stop her. Although she thought
differently...her will could withstand anything
    thrown in her way, just another challenge fought.
The past haunted her days, shadowing almost
      every move…every single breath. Time
always promised to make things better,
      but she knew better than to find
truth in those words. Truth lay somewhere
    far from where she had ever let herself dream,
too heavy from all the weight she carried.
    There was only one time she let herself lean…
letting her weight get the best of her, thinking
      she could find a way to dream peacefully forever,
but even then she failed to succeed.
      She lost the ability to hold her world together.
   Indifferent to the world, numb to all
emotion, she lost hope in being set free.
   The darkness surrounding so great; faith too small.
So she poured her pent up pain,
     into artful master pieces.
She sketched abstract obscurities
     that depicted her darkest of secrets.
She painted intangible thoughts and
   feelings she longed to be fulfilled with through
majestic words that put anyone who dared
   to read, in the footsteps of her soul. Broken and blue
she crafted old warn memories into the
     picturesque landscapes of her wildest dreams. She
elegantly danced with the monsters under her bed and
     gracefully with the skeletons in her closet… breaking free.
there is more to be added to this poetic thought, eventually leading to "She is…", but figured if I posted part one it would motivate my inspiration to continue working with these brewing ideas.
Apr 2014 · 845
Surpass the Shadow
amanda martinez Apr 2014
We stand in despairity,
Craving some clarity.
Yet too afraid to step out,
& figure it all out.
We stand in the dark,
Hoping life somehow provides a spark.
One bright enough to ignite a path,
Hoping it's one long enough to last.
We stand, hidding in our own,
Shadow. Hidden, alone.

The rays shine down,
Searching for a beautiful soul to surround.
But the flowers, the ocean,
The reality of commotion,
Seem to absorb each ray.
& in each day,
It becomes harder to step out,
Afraid the world will figure you out.
However the fear isn't there, to be exact.
It lies in a more complicated fact.
One we all have faced,
Is allowing ourselves to find our own place.

To step out of our own...
Shadow. To step out alone.
We stand here beneath our own dark side,
To ignortant to admitt, we all hide.
Stand there & question: why its so dark?
How in life, can i make my mark?
Stand there and believe,
That there's a sign that will lead.
A sign that will tell us who we are.
This, however, is farther than the farthest star.
Farther from any truth ever spoken,
Because in life, we are our own token.

So step out of that shadow,
The world isn't that shallow.
Discover the light,
Let your soul shine bright.
Take part in your time,
Life doesn't have a 'rewind'.
October 18, 2010
Apr 2014 · 1.4k
Plastic Cups
amanda martinez Apr 2014
a piece of you, in a different form.
a piece left over, from the storm.
in my existance,
came all the resistance.
shortly after, the roof caved in.
& with an end, we watched it begin.
daddy left, you stepped up.
an empty glass, you filled the cup.
little did we know, it had a leak.
it's dripping slowly, as we speak.
over bumps we built bridges, rocky roads we held hands.
next to me, by my'd always stand.

then, my hero ****** up.
he spilt the cup.
but he wasn't to blame,
no guiltiness, no shame.
you mopped the floor,
and poured.
the cup freshly filled...
until the next spill.
the crack grew longer,
our bond grew stronger.
but little by little,
it grew too brittle.

his pillows were fluffed.
mine came unstuffed.
his blankets were warm.
mine came torn.
his bed was made.
but, you see i was afraid.
he didn't come home.
my secret is left : unknown.

i hit a blindspot in your rearview mirror.
i tried to hit the wipers so you'd see clearer.
& i tried with all my might.
to get into your sight.
but he was standing there, in the headlights.
& you...flicked on your brights.
there, i stopped, i tumbled...i fell.
no mean to get up, no energy to compell.

so now, i'll try and help you understand,
why i only hold plastic cups in my hand.
i was tired of competing with the one who broke the cup.
and watching, everytime, as you filled it up.
i was tired of running, when he got to walk.
i was tired of staying silent, when he got to talk.
i didn't know you had to fail, in order to win.
i didn't know you had to say goodbye, in order to begin.
April 29, 2010
Apr 2014 · 2.6k
Evil's Beauty
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Your trying too hard to make me invisible.
Yet there's something left in that head that makes me irresistible.
All ego set aside...
I'm not the one to run and hide.
Your stuck in this moment that doesn't even exist.
It's too bad you fell in love with a realist.
Started making things up, to make that pedestal seem higher.
But the world can be an **** place...I'll let you in on a secret, your not the only liar.
That pedestal has been stuck in that hole you continue to dig.
I have been trying to work around it, but you have my world rigged.
My beautiful dragonfly will lead the way around.
Knows you just as well as I do, so it's got me flying far from the ground.
If you want to continue to live behind the scenes...
Carry on, by all means.
I tried to convince myself it was all derived from respect,
Like you never pulled the trigger, but with the coldness of your heart I don't know what's left.
Just remember the world will keep on turning.
This is the only fire still capable of burning.
With the lack of words, it should need its oxygen fix.
I guess in light of you, it has it's own tricks.
Your not the only one slowly sinking in quick sand,
Looking need of a hand.
The fact is, not everyone is that weak...
Having to file the most difficult into the "problems that don't speak".
This is more real for me, than it is for you.
Yet you can't get it through your head that it's even true.
There is beauty in all evil, & now it resides right by my side.
The weight of it grows heavier as the days roll on, may as well have some pride.
The worlds evil can transform, if you care enough to mold it yourself.
The thing is you were never there, so you are clueless how it feels, or how it felt.
My beautiful dragonfly,
Never got the chance to walk along side.
Never had the opportunity to leave footprints in the sand.
Not even a moment to reach for a hand.
But eclectic wings have spread,
Ever since the sky shattered, some light has shed.
All I need is me, myself, & my dragonfly.
May not have been born to the real world, but the soul is encrypted in my mind.
Wether you come to terms and face the facts, or continue to hide.
At least I will have evils beauty, forever flying by my side.
July 26, 2013
Apr 2014 · 536
Tongue Tied Tonight
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Lay my head time to cry,
  for there is little time to discover…
how the next dream may be comprised.
These are the moments no price could buy,
  for this love is so strong no time or distance…
could bare to conscribe.
Since the moment I first caught your eyes,
  it was evident to me…
from the way my heart replied.
From there it all unraveled & time fell shy,
silent poetry quickly written…
  an intricate chemistry so simply revived.
A graceful chaos of knots-never to be untied,
as our souls dance…
  and blissfully intertwine.
And now…with every goodbye,
the unsettling pain…
  may never subside.
It is as if the sun & moon have left the sky,
& I am left with the chilling darkness…
  for my soul to reside.
In search for a comforting place to lie,
I find bliss in the suffering…
  for my heart is obliged.
My aura cutting through the darkness-i try,
but these mystical journeys…
  just can't be described.
With you it is always worth the ride,
a precious experience-a vivid perspective…
  an inspirational drive.
November 24, 2013
Apr 2014 · 713
Coming up in Stereo
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Eyes wide open for days, and then some.
Try to step aside, give myself a break…but that will never come.
You see… the city doesn’t sleep
There’s more character pulsing through, than you’d ever believe.
It’s easy to get lost, but somewhere… there’s always a light on.
The chaos can be overwhelming, but with time you grow fond.

There does come a time though, when you need to rest your head.
With your chest as my pillow, & your body…my bed.
I melt into you, it’s the only time the city fades to gray.
My mind experiences void & I’m at a loss for words to say.
A soundtrack beats through my ears,
For once something is able to drown out life’s fears.

They say it’s always sunny in Philadelphia…
But boy I have my own insight to share with yah…
The rain trickles down, even from blue skies.
Words scream allowed, coming from your eyes.
Cloudy days come in packs,
It’s getting colder as the days pass.

Trying to take on my path smoothly.
But when innate routines create what others only see in movies...
It's essential to agonize in order to know you're alive.
And somehow you’re always there, helping me get by.
Especially on the days I feel to weak to fight back.
You flick on the lights, provide my life with a soundtrack.

Grinning at the bright lights, coming up in stereo.
Nothing compares to the internal feeling, that we both know.
An overwhelming feeling that will never get old.
Incapable of aging, not in my soul…no matter how cold.
We’ll keep it pulsing, keep it alive.
There’s an abundance of spirit, between you and I.

So when the day comes that the city lights go dim,
And the chaotic lifestyle dies down within…
There will be two creatures left, roaming the streets.
Keeping the heart alive, with their own beats.
Illuminating the allies with charisma.
Marking each block with an unforgettable stigma.
October 8, 2012
amanda martinez Apr 2014
We take on the world, expecting to be taught.
Without realization that some things need to be sought.
We expect to observe and learn from the faults of others,
We indulge in ourselves & all else we smother.
Kick back, feet up, taking notes on all mistakes...
All of which are plausible, one day they may even hold us at stake.
All in hopes to prevent the inevitable,
Not even taking the time to consider if the source is credible.

The notepad is stored, somewhere in the depths of our head,
& a spark of motivation is all there is left said.
However, words can only do so much.
It's like learning of love, but never experiencing it's touch.
Actions speak louder than words, a common cliché.
Yet this quote spells out a more blissful way.

Put down the pen and start facing change.
Stop holding onto one outlet, take on a perspective with more range.
Find your footing, let experience lure.
Breathe meaning to your actions, bring life to your words.
This world can be cruel, mean, even terrifying...
A series of unfortunate events is difficult to find satisfying.
But this is where we all must learn…
Somethings in life need to be churned.
Things that can't be discovered, taught, or found.
With this realization comes a beautiful sound.
You see, happiness does not exist, it is a creation.
One we each must take on for our own, that's the only way for self revelation.

Dig deep into your soul,
You will discover new and old.
Shine light upon what is in hibernation.
Mold your own path, instead of back tracing.
Life is short, but you can make it worth while.
Live fully, find what brings out your true smile.
Hold onto the good, release the negative, & construct the best.
Eternal bliss indeed exist, it just blends well with the rest.
So open your mind, embrace your soul, & move to the beat of your heart.
You will stumble across happiness one day, but there is only one way to start.
#mind #body #soul #heart #beat #indulge #pen #change #perspective #experience #breathe #life #discover #create #dig #mold #journey #bliss #open #begin
Apr 2014 · 1.3k
Laughter to Color Rainbows
amanda martinez Apr 2014
There's a dark corner that lay in each of our souls.
Taking hostage of secrets, never to be told.
So be careful ***, you're running on a tight rope.
You never know what could happen...don't get too close.

A breath of fresh air, different from the norm.
you're like the calm before the storm.
& the deeper I look into your eyes, the more I want to endure…
what exactly this storm has in store.

Sun is seeping through yesterday’s sorrow,
No longer caught up in the thought of tomorrow.
Colors of the world bleed from dull to iridescent.
Nature’s soundtrack takes turns reminding us of its presence.

Together we walk the path, into the eye of the storm.
Surrounded by chaos, once we reach the center life takes on a new form.
There is beauty most commonly missed, in the simplest of things.
The more open your mind, the more your day will bring.

Let loose before the chaos seeps in.
Fall into the clouds with me…let the fun begin.
Laughter to color rainbows, help feed the tress.
Watch as the grass resuscitates, reminding us the breath.

Sunsets never so bright, & skies never so blue.
Smiles to reflect the sunlight, lighting up the world around you.
Music sending vibes, tangible to my heart.
And for some reason my mind is telling me…this is only the start.
November 5, 2012
Apr 2014 · 2.0k
Daydreaming Iris
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Mind - tripping eyes subconsciously getting lost in grandfather clock.
Thoughts frolicking through fields that time could never stop.
From a lotus flower shinning bright from rejuvenation.
Born to all things new, putting the past in stagnation.
No matter the hardship, there's never a need to let petals start wilting over time elapsed.
Grandfather clock never stops, there's only so much vitamin d the day allows to grasp.
From this it's learned we must water our own apple blossom, one commonly missed,
As we search for the perfect bouquet of eternal bliss.
Yet it projects good fortune and releases hopeful vibes.
Grandfather clock couldn't let memory forget it, even if it were tried.
Apple blossom in hand, into daisy fields memory wallows about.
Holding tightly to what’s left of innocence, youth cannot run out.
What a gentle smell carried through the breeze, the sun with warmth to share.
When grandfather clock strikes a certain time, reflections will take me there.
When time is due, a valley is to be embraced.
Within which lay a single lily, in which happiness is grace.
Grace can be given all around, especially to those closest.
Even when you’re the only bud bloomed, the only lily floating on the surface.
In fact, the lily of the valley is grandfather clock’s key.
The only one to break through the surface; the code to set time free.
With not much else around, we work with what we’ve got.
But happiness doesn’t exist so give it another shot.
Happiness is something we must create; our own bouquet of eternal bliss.
So as grandfather clock tics & tocks…. tic…. tock…
I toss a single black rose at twelve on the dot…time stops.
Farewell may be forthcoming, but rebirth has already been assumed.
Thanks to you my bouquet has been created, my blissful soul has bloomed.
March 8, 2013
Apr 2014 · 465
Wakeup Call
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Live by the sun; feel by the moon.
The sun has set; a rainy night in early June.
Numb as novocain,
Emotions pouring out like rain.
I can dream of spreading my wings, just flying away.
But I have to get behind the wheel, take on life’s highway.
Even with roads so dark and dreary, wet and slick…
There’s something calling me into the night, calling me quick.
The promise of feeling again lingers at the end of the road.
After all this time an answer, solution…a crack to the code.
But life never projects a straight shooting path…
Sometimes we are meant to slip, or maybe even crash.
Even so, the road splits…to burn out or start walking?
I take a breath, remember the moon…remember who’s talking.
One foot in front of the other… no sense in hesitation.
The sun will bring about another day, re-genesis of my own imagination.
Misty rain kisses my face as a struggle to walk tenaciously.
Feigning for the strength to accept these obstacles graciously.
One step, two steps; pro, cons:
One foot, two miles; pro, cons…and so on.
Just when my heart couldn't feel much colder,
A warm ray pokes at my shoulder.
Tapping back into reality at hand,
I kick off my shoes and let my toes twinkle in the sand.
The moon is low, now behind me, yet always hanging around.
& Before me the sun making an entrance, glistening against the dancing ocean sound.
An epiphany swims ashore.
Another day: to live, to reflect, & to unveil the reason we do it all for.
Embrace life; stay in tune.
Live by the sun; feel by the moon.
July 7, 2013
Apr 2014 · 1.4k
Meet Me at Ground Zero
amanda martinez Apr 2014
I whispered this secret to the ocean, but it was rejected on the sand.
The pressure has become too thick for me to withstand.
The words have over heated, locked in the oven…well overdue.
The truth of this all may burn, but this needs to be heard by you.
An unquenched thirst in a drought…
My world has flipped around, completely inside out.

Before I could find the right words, I resorted to the dirt.
I buried this secret as the seconds ticked…only way to obliterate how much it hurt.
One day the clock stopped ticking, I thought it was well off buried; eminently suppressed.
Come to think of it, the ***** little secret was just compressed.

Constricting so tight I began digesting my lungs…
Nothing bothered me, because everything was numb.
So I replaced my eyes with reflectors from the sun,
My heart fell in lust with the concept of a dark place to run.

Grabbed my lucky charm and a parachute, with the intent to leave one at the ledge.
From the top of the cliff I jumped, just as I made my pledge.
If I were meant to fight this battle, I’d make it to the ground: free fall.
Lucky charm in hand, all dependent on fate’s call.

This is a tough war to face alone, but the last thing I want is sympathy.
Just asking if you’d have my back…if need be.
Pretty well off on my own, I don’t want any kind of hero,
But if you can handle it, meet me at ground zero.
June 5, 2012
Apr 2014 · 627
Follow Your Fears
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Quit checking for monsters under the bed,
When I realized the only monster was the one in my head.
My buds have blossomed, some even wilted.
To the world I am walking tall, inside I'm way off kilter.
Far from what I once was, yet not sure as to what I am to be.
I've traveled so far, but have so much to see.
I watch as my footprints fade behind.
Can't help, but crave a rewind.
Too hard to constantly look back.
It eats away at me everyday, as a matter of fact.
However, everyday is a fresh start for me.
Stopped leaning on what could have been, & started looking at what could be.
Like riding a bike, there is only one way to keep your balance.
You have to keep moving...that's the challenege.
Take risks, be brave, ignor the interference.
There is nothing in this world that can replace experience.
It's about the places we go, people we meet...things we do my dear.
We must travel in the direction of our fear.
It should derive from your dreams, if not they aren't nearly big enough.
Stand tall with open eyes & keep your skin tough.
I may not have made it to where I want to go, but I think this is exactly where I need to be.
To be honest, it's not easy, but the challenge is adrenaline to me.
You aren't living if you take on the world with stealth.
Life isn't about finding, but instead, creating yourself.
I have realized that elegance is not being's about being remembered.
So i don't know about you...but my doubts have surrendered.
Time to start living for the moment with confidence.
After all, we only live once, so start listening to your conscience.
There is a world full of obvious things, that go unoticed everyday.
Mouths full of words that aren't sure how to be delervered in the right way.
Open your senses to feel everything, take it all in.
Let loose and just go with the wind.
July 18, 2012
Apr 2014 · 3.7k
Moon Faces : Moody Faces
amanda martinez Apr 2014
We are each our own moon.
Charismatic souls reflecting sunlight,
As if to illuminate a room,
We glow against black, void; an endless night.
Like a caterpillar to a butterfly, emerging from a tight knit cocoon,
Spreading each wing, confidently slicing the evening air…taking flight.
Or even a flower freshly bloomed on a midsummer’s afternoon.
The moon: a flower, silently smiling despite the plight.

Aside from what each day shuffles in; each night simmers out
No matter how often we feel we have lost ourselves…
Or leave way to fill our heads with doubt.
With recurring assumptions of a worldwide redemption:omnipotent stealth.
Needn't some take longer than others to sprout?
Staring blankly into a mirror, or a moonless night sky: hungry for answers, yet facing an empty shelf.
However, that doesn't infer we embark on a divergent route.
Simply due to lack of clarity, lack of reasoning behind each card dealt.

With that in mind,
Just as the moon,true colors may dwindle…they may fade, yet in essence are always there.
Even on a cloudy day, or when the sunshine is at its peak…and just as well for the blind.
Full moon, half moon, new moon…waxing, waning: dynamic phases the night sky shares.
Moon phases;moody faces…natures way of emphasizing personality defined.
Notwithstanding the dark side, each moon may wear.
Like a guilty pleasure manifesting in a secret shrine,
We all suppress a certain side; to pompous to face reality genuinely bare.

Fragments of our faces may always be hidden,
But there’s one thing that will never absorb into the eclipse: emotion.
Some figure each phase, each wave of vibes … simply fate already written.
Devils advocate begs to differ… let your mind emit all distraction and harmonize with the ocean.
Effervescent rays,warm barrels in which emotions, old and new, have ridden.
Chaotically contradicting thoughts, pulling and pushing, creating the paradox of serene commotion.
A world of words from each moon face: a beautiful encryption.
We are each our own moon, written in the waves, compelled by life’s devotion.
July 24, 2013
amanda martinez Apr 2014
I am a jigsaw puzzle…
Packaged, broken down and oddly pieced.
Vivid colors. A curious captivation.
Although… with time they have faded…and creased.

Handed down like an antique quilt.
Fragile and warn, only portions of my picture complete.
Left wondering if I will ever be seen as one.
Admired as whole, even with corners somewhat oblique.

So I set out on a journey:
Re-genesis of the soul.
Craving colors unimagined:
An apocalypse of the world of dull.

Along the way I caught a glimpse.
I unearthed Utopia.
A world lent only to dreams and fairytales.
Yet I couldn’t seem to give in and face this phobia.

I continued along my search.
This time with a new groove in my step.
Part of me wanted to turn back,
But that could’ve meant loosing the little I had left.

I felt something flowering within.
I may have looked away, but that moment a seed was planted.
Roots of strength embedding themselves into my soul,
A new chance at life finally granted.

Fresh oxygen to inhale,
As this life grows inside of me.
Battling with worry and yet no panic at all.
Something so charming and enormous, the world deserves to see.

Branches of love breaking through my surface,
A bungee cord tugs, than allots some slack.
Leaves of unwritten memories begin to evolve.
This budding life needs nurture…I need to turn back.

Before I can set foot to turn around…
Utopia at my fingertips.
Life, nurture…a wonderland unsought.
And that is all before the meeting of our lips.
October 19, 2013
Apr 2014 · 1.8k
Ripples of Nirvana
amanda martinez Apr 2014
Something simple, something sweet...
Something magical, my souls favorite treat.
The calm before the storm. A captivating blur,
Of feelings no bystander could infer.
A magical intensity of silent poetry.
Bittersweet bliss manifesting inside of me.
Spontaneity whipping through the air.
All sense of reality halts in the company we share.
Clouds of the past dissipate,
With each ray of sunshine you create.
A roller-coaster ride lacking a safety belt,
Surpassing any type of affection ever felt.
Like riding a wave, yet a board would serve no purpose...
If you have me constantly floating above the surface.
Reality holds no depiction to genuinely describe,
The notion of comprehending all that is inside.
Foraging for a taste of your soul, my eyes are met with a blue abyss.
Shaded ripples of Nirvana, too precious to resist.
Drifting towards the center, a black hole draws me in.
Here I realize I had found my key to explore within.
A whirlwind of beauty emerging from every angle.
So engulfed in the chemistry, I am now comfortably tangled.
Smacked with a supercharged rush leaving me numb, frozen with awe.
Eventually revived, your lips casually departing mine...the first thing I saw.
September 10, 2013
amanda martinez Apr 2014
To often we fail to tune ourselves in.
   We get caught in rut after rut,
      Morphing into puppets... just going with the motions.
Too fixated on all we could lose to recognize each win.
   So weary of love we keep our hearts bolted shut.
      We are so afraid of change we cringe at the notion.

Sometimes you need to runaway from reality,
   Take a leap off of comforts shoulder…
      And dive into your intuition.
Free yourself from that corrupt mentality,
   And smile to keep the world from growing any colder.
      Your soul will sing a melody of bittersweet honesty…just listen.

That is where true beauty lay…
   In each untouched corner of your heart,
      Beneath each unspoken word of your inner voice.
It is never to late when you are blessed with another day.
   To live simply, take a breath and let the past part…
      And confidently make happiness your choice.
January 29, 2014
Apr 2014 · 1.2k
Cosmetology of Plight
amanda martinez Apr 2014
When you look to the sky
Do the clouds form shapes,
As they float on by…
Depicting emotions I dare not face?

Does the sun shine
As bright as my smile
Peaking behind each “I’m fine”
Bringing out my inner child?

What about the rain...
Does it tell of my hidden sorrows?
Do you see the reflections of my pain...
With every drop, hopes for a better tomorrow?

Does the sunset reveal
The shades of my soul?
Even those I conceal…
Blending with all things dull.

As the snow blankets my past
Does it appear pure and white?
Are you baffled by the contrast…
Cosmetology of each plight?

With each breath you take
Is my scent inhaled?
With each test of fate
Will our love prevail?

As the tides push and pull
The waves, my thoughts, crash and retreat.
Moon illuminating high and full…
Do I make you feel complete?
February 4, 2014
Apr 2014 · 891
Colors From My Core
amanda martinez Apr 2014
I look up and
suddenly I am at the top
of a mountain.
Nothing but clouds that surround
to hold my hand,
so there I stand…
attempting to scream
as loud as I can.
But nothing comes out, so I dream.
My smile is the sun warming
bleak souls with vibrant beams,
creating peace below…or so it seems.

Abruptly my laughter pours
out, so on a rain cloud I lean.
But it is irrepressible - I'm on all fours.
Endorphins seeping, trickling down.
So I open up the door
and paint with colors from my core,
replacing the worlds gray with vivid tones.
Sunshine and rainbows to ensure
that the blissful truth is shown
and shared, but never compared.
And slowly I realize I was never alone.
I blink and find your eyes…I'm home.
January 30, 2014

— The End —