I hate feeling oversensitive
Although I know I am..
But it is only because
I have a heart made of glass
Any rock thrown,
Even as small as a pebble
Could shatter it completely.
And my self worth is so tiny
You could squish it like a bug
And not even notice

a friend like you is hard to come by
someone so similar to myself
yet so giving
and caring
and nurturing
a truly beautiful person
I owe you my life
I would be nowhere without you
Thank you for being my best friend

You always know what to say
I think that's one of the things I like most about you
Like when I told you I felt like an icicle
Unloved and cold
You told me icicles were your favorite when you were little
And you'd make your dad drive you around
Just to find the biggest icicles
Or the time I told you I cut myself
And you told me nothing would change the way you felt about me
Out of all your absolutely amazing qualities
This is one of the best

Have you ever found home in a person?
Because cradled in your arms,
Or tucked into your chest
Is the only place that's ever felt like home to me

After a big winter blizzard
There's always mountains of elegant snow
Sitting calmly for others to soak in its beauty
But there is icicles hanging from our windows
They drip tears full of such sadness
Nobody says how beautiful the ice is
In comparison to the snow
So they sit on top of houses and weep all day
And eventually they cry so much
They disappear
and nobody notices
In many ways I feel like an icicle
How long until I disappear
And will you even notice

When the night rolls around,
It is said that lonely people are always awake
So in the middle of the night,
I sit in bed lonesome
Squeezing my pillows at 2am
Wondering where you are
And how much I would love
To be silently wrapped in the arms of a lover

Falling in love is such an easy thing
It'll start with small kisses
And smiles exchanged
Then the kisses will navigate
All over the map you call your body
At the way up north
To all the way down south
You will giggle
And scream
And yell
You'll even eat candy out of each others mouths
And soon
All of these seemingly miniscule things will add up
So one day,
While he's laying next to you
Sound asleep
Don't be surprised when it hits you
This was something extravagant
Fireworks will burst in your heart
And you'll snuggle in closer
Now you've completely fallen
Your heart is no longer your own

The days have been passing
And no mends have been made.
The ashes are still swirling through the air
From the last war we fought,
But it seems to me
The battles always end the same
They leave a devastation that I can no longer bear
So of course:
I'll always remember your smile
Your gentle touch
And the way your words
bandaged the wounds the world had given me
But its time for me to let this go
I've found someone who not only tends to my wounds
But fully heals them,
And protects me from any other pain
I'm safe now.
I wish you the best
But it's time to let go.

Nostalgia is a ***** *******
It tricks you.
The past was never as great as it now seems
The boy who broke your heart was not perfect.
He was self absorbed
And always tasted like his other girl.
The night you shared was not magical.
The grass was wet
and the air was humid.
The same brand of *****
Did not taste better last time
It still stung the same and made you gag.
The sun was no brighter
The grass just as green
Nostalgia has tricked you

It takes a lot for me to say this
Although I may
Not be better
I may not feel great
But I am alive
And I can also say
That today,
I am not going to **** myself
And that will have to be enough

How could you say you love me?
If you love someone, would you leave them in a time of need?
To simply self destruct?
You didn't love me
Never in the whole of your ******* life
Did you love me.

People often retrace their steps
To find something they've lost.
If their keys are missing,
They think back to the last time they had them.
And then they appear
Your keys are on the nightstand, where you left them last.
But how do I retrace the steps
to find my sanity
If I can't even remember the last time I had it?

"Please, Promise me you won't hurt yourself again"
Such an unfair things to ask
I see why you would
Because you don't understand
You just want me to be okay
But do not make me make a promise
You know I can't keep

Happiness is not something that one should have to strive for.
Happiness is not something you can give in pill form
This "happiness" you feed me,
Is not happiness at all
It's a way for my family to shut me up
and a doctor to make a couple bucks
So I swallow the pill
everyday
It doesn't make me happy
Just takes all feeling away
Take your stupid blue capsules
I no longer want them
I'd rather feel sadness
Then your ****** up version of happiness

Panic sets it
I've eaten today.
Numbers begin adding
Calories, bites, servings
I've eaten today.
My mind begins spinning
Disappointment in myself
A harsh mirror,
and a loving toilet
welcoming me,
telling me it will wash away all the panic
all I have to do
is
purge
so I do.

Deep brown eyes
and dark shades of blue underneath
What's on your mind, my love?
What's keeping you from sleep?
I wish I could hold you all night
And save you from the wars
inside your crowded tortured mind
I wish I could hurt all the ones who have wronged you
And kiss all your wounds
To take all of the pain
and push it aside
leaving you with nothing but happiness,
the loveliest thoughts
and well rested eyes

A bottle of *****
split between two
two aching souls
looking for an escape
The room is spinning
This is where I need to be
No worries
No nothing
Absolute numbness

I constantly have to catch my breath around you.
Weird isn't it?
After all this time,
your beauty is still too much for me
5 years of soaking you in
slowly discovering little corner of your mind
taking in your features
memorizing you.
5 years
and you still put butterflies in my tummy
and stars in my eyes
5 years
and I still have to remind myself to breathe

You are so special
I am so ordinary
How did you find yourself in love with me?
How could I shatter such a beautiful heart?
How many times will it replay in my mind?
I can't do this without you
I will never forgive myself
Please don't leave

You are sugar
Sweet and pure
You are the first snowfall of winter in the dead of night
Alluring and exciting
You are a gust of wind on a hot summer day
Refreshing and relieving
You are every wonderful, and pure thing on this planet
And I,
I am not
I am angry and sinister
I am the wildfire that destroys the forests
I am a tornado leaving cities devastated
Someone like me
Does not deserve the beauty and light you bring.

How many times will I say I'm sorry
Before I change my ways?
I know I am wrong
But I am so quick tempered
So easily pushed
That I snap too quickly
And far too fiercely
You are so gentle
And only mean well
I am so sorry for the pain I cause you.

You and I,
We seem to gravitate
But maybe it's not because we're meant to be
Maybe it's because we're both so angry
Angry at each other
Angry at our families
Angry at our failures
Angry at the world
Both of us, so full of pain.
And maybe that's why we find ourselves together

In a world full of darkness and hate
A mind full of suicide and starvation
A school full of ignorance and stereotypes
A house full of people who people who don't understand
A doctors office full of prescriptions for little blue pills
A world that was all dark for me
Until you came along
You are my ray of light.
*It is still dark, but you make it lighter.

There is nothing as free and passionate as your first time
Nothing as innocent
The nervous giggles
The panicked breathing
Touching someone's body
Just to learn every bump and crater
on the surface of their warm skin
The rush of pain
The desperate moans
Nothing as intimate as your first time.

Please don't look at me
You are the moon.
Beautiful and elegant
You illuminate the dark sky
And bring joy to all
and I,
I am nothing compared to the beauty you bring,
the light you give off.
I do not shed light, but rather darkness
I am not beautiful nor elegant
I am clumsy and inadequate
Please don't look at me
I'm not enough for you.

The scars are fading
the razors gone
but the feelings are back again
they haunt you even in dreams
a sadness you can't escape
if all i think about is cutting,
am i really even recovering?

A whirlwind sweeps in
Things are flying everywhere
They cut you
They scratch you
They bruise you
You scream but nobody answers
You are alone in your own storm

Does a lovers love ever completely fade?
Or does one push it aside
Let the flame die down, but still glow
Try to forget all of the memories you share.
Try to forget the little things about them that stick in your brain
Like the way they loved the breakfast club
or the way they'd squeeze your hand a little tighter when they saw the cuts
Or maybe the way I'm still writing about you says "I miss you" enough?

A steady breath
Your chest rising and falling
As we lay in a sea of purple
You let out small mumbles in your sleep
Perfection at its finest.
Dark eyelashes flutter revealing your deep eyes
A groggy "hi" and a kiss on the nose
I've found my comfort again.

Talking about the memories makes me think.
Not so much of the night,
But everything I did to get the night out of my head.
To remove the way you stared back
Eyes dark as the black sky
with flecks of lights
Just like the stars,
and promised you me forever.
The way I pounded my head against the kitchen floor
repeatedly, sobbing
hoping it would erase you.
The way I carved it in my skin afterward.
The way all of the words I never got to say fell out of my mouth into the toilet
And it never left.

You may think you know my friend, Sad.
Oh yes you may
But you don't know Sad,
like I know Sad.
Sad will visit you every so often
and pull on your heart strings,
Just to remind you he's there.
But Sad and I?
Oh he's constantly with me
His hands wrapped around my neck
Whispering "This is true friendship"

A humid summer night
Spent underneath the stars
Head spinning
Heart fluttering
It was the start
The start to the most beautiful tragedy
Who knew that night
Would haunt me every night