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  Jun 2018 Amalinna Zainal
Blanche
And sometimes when the stars
shine as bright as your eyes, and the moon
pulls me in as deeply as the waves, I
wonder what may have become of us
had I not reached out to you
that January.

My keyboard may not have been glued
to my thumbs and my heart may have kept
its normal rhythm, but my smile would
not have been as wide. My eyes would not
sparkle at the sound of your name, for my heart
would not have tied its strings around it, and
you would not have become the source of
my laughter. My hands would not
crave the touch of yours and my lips would
not miss their other half. My favourite songs
would not make my eyes glimmer like they do
now, your cologne would be just another scent
and my heart would not be shattered.

I love you.
I love you for loving me. For showing
me what it was like to be consumed with
overwhelming joy. For making me the
brightest star in your solar system, when
I was only a diamond in the rough. For always
being there when I needed you. For accepting
me as the emotional wreck I was. For
letting me be entirely myself, and for letting
me love you with my entire being.

I hate you.
I hate you for sadness I felt. For being so
loveable that I couldn't have stopped myself
even if I'd tried. For making me love you
so much that I forgot what it was like to
ever live without you. For loving me so much
that when you left it felt like someone turned
off every light in the universe and cut off my
oxygen supply. For making it impossible for
any other boy to compare to you.

I like to think that we may have still ended up
together had I not made the first move. That
you would have seen me walking through the
crowd and reached out to me instead. That our
love story was meant to be.

That if we had been more careful
we would still be together
and you might still love me.
  Jun 2018 Amalinna Zainal
Rakha
‪I missed the moon, I missed the sea
- and most importantly‬

‪I missed her.
there’s nothing left to say after that
  Jun 2018 Amalinna Zainal
Em MacKenzie
I speak inside my brain
and then my heart replies.
I've lived my life as the rain
falling down from the vacant skies.
I told you that I loved you
and truer words were never spoken,
but how much can one person do,
when paradise is broken?

I turn my back on memories
but they still slap me in the face,
the emotions get the best of me
when I'm standing in the wrong place.
I told you that I'd keep you dry
even though I myself was soakin'
but how hard can one person try
when paradise is broken?

The pastel colours were fake,
except the black and white,
I shaded it all for the sake
it was not pleasing to my sight.
In every single dream I drown,
I always give up on that fight,
until I'm buried in the ground
I'll dream that struggle every night.

Heaven is over occupied
they stopped letting just any folk in,
and purgatory is mystified
'cause paradise is broken.

I long for the free birds
with their hazardous flapping wing
and the way they spin their words
into gentle songs we sing.
I told you I was missing my mind
I just could never rope it in,
how much can one person find
when paradise is broken.

The pastel colours were fake,
except for the black and white,
I needed the blue for a lake,
and the red for the ****** fight.
In every dream I'm alone,
I try to change that with all my might,
you spoke aloud in a wrong tone
but atleast the words were right.

Heaven is over occupied
I wish I never had woken,
and Hell is now justified
cause paradise is broken.

You own; each beat from my chest, both lungs and every breath,
what I have and all the rest,
my life until my death.
  Jun 2018 Amalinna Zainal
Sinai
I wish I still smoked
So I could sit on my roof inhaling this misery.

My memories of you are so playful and sweet
(Only since that day they got this undertone of heartbreak)

It was like this roller coaster of falling in love, the one we all know.
But right at my highest point, when I could see the whole city and my heart was racing and you were holding my hand

Right there
You woke me up

And now I will never know how scary and fun the rest of the ride would be. All I know is how I will dream of the possibilities for the rest of my life.
  Jun 2018 Amalinna Zainal
Elizabeth
My heart bears an unfamiliar rhythm,
Restricted, out of key, tone and voice
Silent but still heavily felt
Craving the glimpse of your presence
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and fonder and fonder
Craving a presence I cannot feel but only dream
Holding on to an idea, a wish, a memory
An ocean dehydrating inside of me for reality to occur
But still my vision of you is blurred
Because an idea seems more real than any reality

I create heightened pieces of you in my heart
Yet my mind is not fooled but can clearly see
That You are just an imagination of my desires
And in reality you are nothing more than a simple acquaintance
Not suitable for even the smallest measure of love from my soul
Yet it's not love I feel but passion
Not you but elements of you

Yet the battle between my heart and brain
Make my feelings harder to comprehend
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and fonder...
There is a certain kind of longingness that even words nor photographs cannot fill in.
And that is when, i want to write about you, the most.
This amount of emptiness needs to be said. It needs to flow like the ink in my pen or the the blood in my veins,
to sustain my sanity or else...
Melancholic thoughts will run and invade my mind until all the hope in my heart is gone.
This is my other way of saying i miss you and this is just a part of the whole feeling. I miss you so much J.
  May 2018 Amalinna Zainal
CA Smith
Home is...
Late nights out with friends.
Cold nights in,
tucked by the fire,
with hot cocoa in one hand,
and a book in the other.

Home is...
Safety and security.
Love and warmth.
Sanctuary from heartbreak,
protection from the outside.

Home is...
Crying on your shoulder,
when you are so hurt,
that you think you might just go to sleep,
and never wake up.

Home is...
Lying in bed all day,
staring at the ceiling,
and wondering why you just can't get up.

Home is...
Friends and family.
The past and the future.
The here and the now.

Home is you.
Home is us.
Home is the feeling I get,
when we lie together.
No matter the weather.
No matter the storm.

Home is looking in your eyes,
and hearing "I love you."

Home is reaching inside myself
and finding more than I ever thought possible.

Home is......
Home is wherever I find myself next to you.
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