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alupa Feb 2021
If you were a song
then one of these that everybody claims to hate but secretly admires.
You'd be one of these songs that stick in your head all day while you can't remember their name.
You'd be one of these songs that I never get tired of listening to.
If you were a song
then one of these that move people's hearts.
If you were a song
you'd be a soft, slow, sad one.
If you were a song
you'd be a mysterious and nobody would know where it came from.

If you were a song
I'd play it.
And I wouldn't let it end.

Maybe,
if you were a song
I'd be good enough to make it keep going.
Maybe,
I could prevent the melody from fading out,
the words from slipping away,
the song from going quiet.
Maybe,
if you were a song
I could still hear you
because I'd be good enough.
alupa Jan 2021
A movement in the corner of an eye,
noises in the dark,
a missing glove,
a cold breeze and the door shuts.

Today, footprints in the snow,
the curtains move in an empty house,
a faint stain on the carpet,
melted ice on the kitchen floor.

A melody, indistinguishable from the howling wind,
a whisper in the walls,
steps outside in the garden,
soft on the frozen snow.

Sweating despite the cold,
a pale star in the night sky,
distant voices in the dark,
a figure wandering the deserted streets.

Rose petals on the doormat,
dust floating in mid air,
a flickering candle light,
just a ghost lingering at the house.

Just another lonely soul that can't let go,
until it's forgotten,
like all the lost gloves,
and footprints,
and stars.
Like all the figures in the foggy winter's night.
alupa Dec 2020
...
Looking at you
Is like looking at the sun.
It hurts.
But still
My eyes are drawn to you.
...
alupa Nov 2020
At night I dream my happy dreams,
Of love I've lost or not yet found,
Of closure, hugs and calming sound
Of crashing waves and gentle streams.

I dream of dancing through the night
Under the bright stars of July,
I dream of having wings to fly,
And of oceans filled with light.

I dream of wanting to grow old,
not simply everything to end
I hear the laughter of a friend,
And sweet stories that I'm told.

I dream of a kid's shining eyes
When jumping barefoot in a puddle
I dream of kissing a soap bubble
And of chasing butterflies

I dream of immersing in book pages
And of exploring unknown towns,
I feel that all the sorrow drowns,
I feel the death of all my rages.

At night I dream my happy dreams
At night I laugh and breathe and rest
Have splendid hope inside my chest
But my day is lacking gleams

I'm happy when I drift away
When I'm laying down to sleep
I feel this joy that I can't keep
I've not yet found it in the day.

But I still get out of my bed,
I still smile and fight anew
So that all of these come true,
These happy dreams inside my head.
alupa Nov 2020
The emptiness inside his chest
It felt like a vacuum
Like everything would be forced to fall towards it,
in an attempt to fill the void.

And indeed the emptiness,
the vacuum
****** in everything
in an attempt to disappear.

It ****** in the world around him
Until it collapsed under its weight
into a black hole,
until he couldn't carry the weight of the world anymore
and collapsed under the weight.

It ****** in his soul,
until he disappeared.

The emptiness inside his chest,
It was so consuming,
so heavy,
so full,
It left no space to breathe.
Emptiness is basically the opposite of what it implies.
alupa Nov 2020
I wanted to say so much,
so many words,
say them out loud,
tell you everything.

But I couldn't make my mouth speak.

I just sat there,
in front of you,
numb,
quietly.

There was so much to say,
but all I could get out was “sorry”
after you talked all the time because I didn't say anything.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry and so much more.
So much more
but I just can't tell you that.
alupa Nov 2020
I was sad.
So I walked the way that was still traced in my mind
Searching for security
Followed the path blindly, subconsciously
Searching for comfort
Only to find myself
In front of the reason for my sadness
In front of a stranger's house that once felt like home
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