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  Jul 2022 efni
i never intended
to take apart
all the pieces
you glued back
efni Jun 2022
i'm so cold and
i wish you were here
to warm me

i bet you'd think
i want you to hold me
or **** me

but truly i want
to watch your skin melt
in bright flames

i want to listen
as your bones crack and
tumble into ashes

although just
seeing your pathetic face
could ignite a rage

more than enough
to beat this frosty night
- but not as fun

i still love you, unfortunately, but where could you possibly find the audacity to think i want you back.
efni Jun 2022
i've been walking this dreadful tight rope
set high above two pools
one of desire and one of detestation
and as much as i want off
i have to keep my balance to the end
because with my luck, i know
exactly where my stupid heart will land

at least im putting on one hell of a performance
efni Jun 2022
my breath reeks of nostalgia and gin
while i wait for you at the bar

my old lover
my one desire
my almost, it seems

the bartender half listens to the
slurred tales of our dances together

that we never could seem to get right

but there are no sparks nor dread
when i think of us anymore

just a bittersweet aftertaste and...
a tugging desire for one more chance with you

death, my old lover.
im thinking of you again.
efni Jun 2022
your quiet cuts like a knife
and your stares dissolve me
there's nothing behind your eyes
as mine fill with water from
this pathetic pool of pleas

mom. would it **** you to show that you care? would it **** you to show anything at all...?
efni May 2022
i'm not sure anymore
if i am falling apart
or falling in place

i'm just tired of being in pieces.

i've been 'under construction' for a long time now
efni May 2022
my days are spent
trying to forget you

and your nightly echoes
lull me crying to sleep

where i'm haunted by
who i thought you were

until i wake up...and the cycle repeats

please let me go
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