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Allie Ahrenholtz Jan 2016
I just wish intentions could be more pure. I just wish communication could find it's way back to honesty. I just wish people would be more upfront and let you know what it is, instead of having to find out through lies what it isn't. It's like nobody wants to be authentic anymore. It's like people are afraid to be real. It's made trust hard to give, loyalty hard to find, and transparency hard to see. The world we live in.
  Jan 2016 Allie Ahrenholtz
Monica Lara
Are my eyes growing weary
or has the light in your eyes dimmed a little since we first met?

Is my body growing old
or do you not hold me tight enough like you used to?

Am I losing the feeling in my mouth
or have our kisses lost their passion?

Do you not love me anymore
or was there ever a love to begin with?
Written on 1.3.2016
Forever feeling her life is dying
But the doctors keep on lying.
"Your daughter will be fine,
Just give her some time."

But she wasn't okay
Because your baby girl took her life today.
She couldn't keep running
And she wouldn't stand living.

Her silent plea's for love
Left her heart on black doves.
"I'm in pain"
Her innocence cut, her pride slain.

Her cries fell on deaf ears
So no one realized her fears.
No one saw her fatal change
Until her heart was out of range.

She wrote out letters
Saying her life would be better.
She laid the pistol on her heart
And blew her body apart.

Her parents cry themselves to sleep
And all her friends weep.
They loved that girl well
And left her alone in Hell.

Maybe her soul can be free
And everyone will see
The lost life of one teen
And the love there could have been.
very deep work
  Jan 2016 Allie Ahrenholtz
falling in love
is a lot like dying slow
you won't realize it until you're ten feet underground

falling in love
is like going to see the sunset
but realizing the sunset lasts only 30 minutes in a day

falling in love
is like going up to the ice cream truck
after chasing it for blocks
and realizing they don't have your favorite flavor

falling in love
is like showing her off
to all your friends like you're back in school
and today's event is show-and-tell

falling in love
is like taking your first puff,
coughing it out
and revisiting it years later
like it never once left your body

falling in love
is seeing role models turn into humans,
and humans into role models.

falling in love
is like witnessing your first car crash
i guess it wasn't as exciting as it felt on tv.

falling in love
is going to your childhood park,
and realizing people never really go to parks anymore.

falling in love is remembering that kid who moved in grade three
who said they'd stay in touch,
but never heard from again.

falling in love is seeing that kid 10 years later
and dreaming of the next 10 years together

falling in love
is seeing them as a reflection of yourself
sprawled over the bed,
and wondering to yourself "****, what more could i ask?"

falling in love

is seeing them hunched on a hospital bed,
hearing them say
"what life have we led?"

falling in love
is visiting their grave,
hearts broken and sore,

i don't want to fall in love
  Jan 2016 Allie Ahrenholtz
Monica Lara
Today I learned that
humans are 99.9% genetically identical to one another.
That's an awful lot isn't it?

So please forgive me for having these mud-colored eyes of mine.  
For I know you cant compare them to something beautiful
like the fresh waters off the coast of Venice
Or to the first leaf of spring exposed after the final layer of ice thawed off.

Please forgive me for having this unruly curly hair
which you can never run your fingers through unless
you are okay with the amount of time it takes to untangle your fingers
from the mess I carry upon my shoulders.

Please forgive me for not having English be the first language to roll off my tongue.
I know I pay the cost when I cannot find the right words to express
how deeply I am in love with everything that is you.

But darling, if you must know one thing, know this:

Every cell in my body craves to show you
how infatuated I am with you.
This heart beats so loudly whenever you are near
it's a wonder it hasn't broken the ribs which enclose it.  
My fickle brain goes back and forth between
wanting you and needing you.
But there is no need to worry, my love.
I always manage to steer it in the right direction.

And because of all this,
I will never fear the day when you will no longer love me
because if everything within my skin loves you this deeply,
I know everything you carry inside feels the same way
today I learned that
humans are 99.9% genetically identical to one another.
That's an awful lot isn't it?
written on 12.1.15
Allie Ahrenholtz Jan 2016
I'm the one who tore down the walls around your heart
I'm the one who seen the deepest darkest part of you
I'm the one who was there to hold you at your weakest
I'm the one who forgave you for not always wanting me
I'm the one who was there when no one else was
I'm the one who let you cry at night because you missed your mom
I'm the one who dealt with your attitude I'm the one who learned that love isn't perfect
I'm the one who learned not to let others take parts of yourself
I'm the one who got stabbed when I wasn't watching
I'm the one who had the pain and had no one
I'm the one who learned that love isn't worth the pain
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