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Scars slowly fading away
An urge that feels
Impossible to beat
This battle that is a
Constant loss

Butchered skin waiting
Questioning
Will I be whole?
Should these
Wounds be reopened

Blade is a
Poisonous addiction
Maybe I'm not
Sorry
I started

Couldn't help that
Life got out of control
Aided in the beginning
Refused to let it end

It's sad really
Relapse I mean
Three years
Clean
Blade called out to me

Will it ever be over?
Will I ever stop
Scaring my body

Will I ever
Learn how to
Love this person I am or
Will I die trying to
Figure it out?
So I was looking over Scissors and couldn't edit but thought more needed to be said
I looked at you today.
    And I "checked you out"
for a good moment or two.
And in those moments,
I didn't really think about too much.
I just thought of you.

For the first time, in a long time,
There wasn't something
   Eating away at my thoughts.
I realized how I could really
        get used to that feeling of clarity.
And it reminded me to tell you;
          That you have the most beautiful eyes.
I'm pacing back n' forth in the recesses of my mind.
Thinking about tomorrow; as if I have the time.
I've got a book of regrets and a list of excuses.
Stitches for the cuts and ice for the bruises.
I've got the heart of a warrior but the guts of a coward.
And I'm always screaming inside my mind; as if silence could get any louder.

I'm trying to stay positive; I'm trying to learn.
But it's hard to move forward when your "success" is everyone else's concern.
They're always breathing down my neck and saying things like "you can do better!"
But I guess they don't know that my ambitions change with the weather.
I can't explain it or even begin to understand why.
It's something that's out of my control no matter how hard I try.
I wrote this several days ago. Never posted it. Enjoy.
Painful childhood
Lead to a sad,
Broken little girl
Who never knew what to say

Those words
Sharper than the
Blade of a knife
Killed her inside

****, *****, fat ugly
All turned her into
One ****** up
Broken little girl

All those words that broke
Some younger version of
That lonely little girl
Are the words that
Made her strong enough
To speak out today
 Jan 2014 Alicia Strong
Helen
sigh

I wish I wasn't writing this
I had something else to say, but
Yesterday turned into Tomorrow
and I'm reluctant to come and play

I don't usually explain my Poetry
but I no longer have 'the gift'
No longer have I the emotions
Eternal despair has caused a rift

so I'll whisper my meanings to you
all my words mean nothing to me
just what I gathered from the universe
I'm an Empath, you see

I can no longer hold
all your feelings
in my heart
I can no longer
cry for you
laugh with you
or sit silently
as you fill me
with emotions
I can't cope with
I never wanted this
from the start

but I never denied you

So this is *Goodbye

let go of my hand
unwrap your arms
from beneath my soul

Don't cry for me
or laugh at me
or catch your breath
or try to see
Where I'm going,
you can't follow me

My journey is ended

The price....

                    *Untold
hard to capture but easy to release.

"We all start, facing East, waiting for the Sun to touch our hearts, but eventually, some turn, facing West, waiting for nightfall, for the darkness to come, to take away the demons that have laid their heads to our breast, so we can rest." ~ Helen Doogan 28/12/2013
There is an abundance of knowledge
That I’ve grown to know about life,
Such as how some green teas,
Brew at a temperature of one hundred and fifty degrees,
Or the way that hues of paint,
Swirl upon a canvas to appear delicate and quaint.
And lastly how my friendships are like little lights,
Illuminating the darkest corners of my life, bright,

And though my brain holds knowledge of,
All that I have mentioned above,
That that I knew not outweighs that of which I do,
Such as the way I feel about you,
Or how the hours spent with you feel so few,
And how every moment spent brings something wonderful and new,

I never knew.
I never knew love,

That my heart could race so fast,
To the melody of the piano instrumentals we listened to last,
Or that I would love the way your fingers run through my hair,
Or how you hold my hand and kiss my fingers tenderly with care,

I did not know.
I did not know love,

That the aroma of Amazni tea
Would bring countless thoughts of you and me,
And that butterflies to my surprise,
Would flutter within every time I’m gazing in your eyes,

Perhaps it is the way you say the word Chicago,
Or you have an appreciation for flakes of snow,
Maybe it’s the way you draw invisible lines on my skin,
I hope you know that this feeling makes me feel beautiful within,

And though I know of this now,
I did not know,
I did not know love,

That I had been waiting twenty five days shy of seven thousand-three hundred and seventy four,
To meet the one who would make me feel something I’ve never felt before.
He who understands of my fears,
And is comforting when I’m at the point of tears,
Maybe it is his entrepreneur set mind,
Or the way our fingers are entwined,
Maybe it is the way we write our own poetry with our mouths,
Or the way we are both not from the South.

It could be any of these,
But I do know that,
I do know love that,

I’ve learned much during these thirty one days,
And as I waltz and frolic through this endless maze,
The only thought I have of which is meaningful,
(Is this)
*“I did not know that love could be this beautiful.“
A poem I wrote and recited to my boyfriend after he formally asked me to be his girlfriend last night. <3
 Jan 2014 Alicia Strong
PrttyBrd
So much to say
Yet I fumble at the start
Tripping over my tongue
Falling  into my heart
copyright©PrttyBrd 12/10/2010- From The Ride of a Lifetime
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