you praise yourself like a god
you put yourself on a pedestal
high above us mere mortals
we should be thankful
     your presence
     your actions
     your voice
but
how can I be grateful of yours
when you won't let me have mine
my voice - drown out for so long
I thought I lost it

But I
I clawed back from the dark,
repressive hole you
shoved me into
I bit
I clawed
I fought - oh yes I fought
and you
oh sweet, perfect you
you tried to push me down again
huh

But I fought
fought for me
    my dignity
    my hope
    my future
    my voice

I rose, ****** and bruised
I rose
and I have succeeded
while you
have failed

and yet
bits of your beatings remain
I have my dignity
    but some some still see me as the falsehoods you told
I have my hope
    but it's still bruised from your blows
I have my future
    but maybe - maybe I'll end up just like you
I have my voice
    but maybe I talk so fast because you never let me get a word out
and I have me.

and no matter how hard you try
how hard you push
how hard you twist
I will always have me
and my me is one that I won't
let you crush

I will be heard - and you can't stop me

Do you ever have those days
days that seem fine
but then
every. single. sound.
makes you want to cringe
a light conversation
makes you want to scream
the cutest of laughs
tears
at your sanity
and yet, you can do nothing

so i sit
silent
locked in my room
hoping for some reprieve
but when they all stop
things left unsaid continue

the voices, the voices
all demanding attention in my head
an argument replays and replays
muttered insults scratch inside me
even the kindest of words become
twisted

i try to drown it out
music so loud it hurts
and yet
the noise
the noise continues