The water is so hot it burns,
but it still isn't burning away the sadness.

Melting away skin is not enough,
if only feelings could melt just as easily

But if that were true
I would never step out of the shower

Some vortex
or a twist in time
a mistake you can't change
Your favorite memory that you forgot.

One moment passes
as you watch it go,
another one is already gone.

Never stop looking forward
you never want to miss what's coming.

because it might be your new favorite moment.

Other people have written parts of the story for me.

I'm done with trying to write it myself

as it is always met with remarks and disappointment, rejection.

Time to close the book.

Forced into an adult world

so early, pushed to soon.

When will he ever be a kid?

Not have to run away from the flashes to have some privacy?

And thus we come to the important question.

Even though this is his dream,

should he wait before giving up his whole life to the cameras?


No longer is it a question.

Ready of not he will be forever pushed up onto the stage.

3 o'clock and not about to fall asleep with my eyes open.

It's gotten easier and easier to stay up as long as possible to live in another world

better then the one awaiting in the morning

How is it that I always laugh silently
but my sobs cannot be silenced?

Others have offenders from the outside,

always beating them in.

But my demons are inside.

and they can't be stopped.

What kind of monster have I turned into?

I thought it was just a funny game...

I guess not :/

It turns out I don't even know myself.

Because everyone knows me so much better then I do.

I can feel the parasites crawling from behind my eyes.

Time to take a shower again.

You stare off in a day dream,
in a place where you are looking down at your feet,
flying high above the ground.

But she keeps talking
oblivious to all but her own problems.

Once I think I've got it right.
Fixed my past and moved on.

Turns out I should've been running.
The past is a world-class marathon runner.

Every bit of air is spent on that one breath
to blow away a dandelion

Every seed scattered will come to rest and then grow
becoming a bright yellow flower that is a symbol of spring.

But do we let them all grow for wishes to be made?
No. The older people learned that dreams don't come true.

So they cut down the flowers before the children can make wishes
and so they can't hope that their wish, something held dear to their heart will become a reality.

Everything you want, handed to you
But nothing you need is here

They'll give you the stars, the moon, all the planets.
but you can't have the Earth, you can always die of thirst.

failure                                      failure
            ­                                                                 ­                                        failure
                                                         ­             failure
                           failure                                                                                                                      failure
                                                          failure                               failure
   failure
                                      failure            ­                                                                  failure

Nothing to say,
nothing to do.

What do I do now?
Who do I turn to?

One of the best in my life
may soon be gone.

There's no place or person to turn to.
But if nothing is done, it won't be to long.

I don't know why I'm surprised.

We were never a circle,

more like a spider's web that was constantly being stretched,

tested to see how strong the threads really were.

The tendrils of smoke,

they drift on the slightest zephyr

and find their way to you

they will find any crack and break you

the smoke from a fire, the sublimation of dry ice

they don't agree but the goal is the same.

Sometimes I go back into my fantasy

where you look back at me,

and you aren't thinking of her.

Wasn´t really thinkin',
wasn´t lookin' ,
wasn´t searching for an answer
In the moonlight
When I saw your face

Saw you lookin' at me,
saw you peeking out from under moon beams
Through the palm trees
Swayin' in the breeze

I know, I´m feelin' so much more than ever before
And so I´m giving more to you than I though I could do

Don´t know how it happened, don´t know why, but you don´t
really need a reason
When the stars shine
Just to fall in love

Made to love each other, made to be together, for a life time
In the sunshine
Flying in the sky

I know I´m feelin' so much more than ever before
And so I´m giving more to you than I thought I could do

Now I know love is real
So when the sky high, as the angels try
Letting you and I Fly love

I cling onto each note,
each word like a life support system,
and I'm on the decline.
Thanks for paying the hospital bill with
the song,
the words,
the notes
you left behind for me to live off.

I used to have enough anger and frustration

to go right through a brick wall,

and then build it back up again, just so I could destroy it again.

But they forced it in me.

That yes, you can always be yourself,

but you can't go against our rules.

Everything I have is that will the fight against the systems they have set up.

And the beat all that will, all the fight I had in me out and into the radioactive rivers flowing by

so calmly, so peacefully.

And now I'm nothing

but another clone

another....thing that has been beaten out of their system.

Every teacher, producer, moneymaker.

They fly by with their huge signs and loud prints.

Everything is a constant cramming in

REMEMBER THIS!!

BUY THIS!!

DON'T BUY THAT!! THIS IS BETTER!!

DON'T FORGET TO STUDY FOR THE TEST!!

No one shuts up,

or burns down those signs.


Maybe someday things will get better,

But they won't.

One day our eyes will burn out

our ears blow.


And maybe then we'll have some peace.

Why should I keep going?

We spend half our lives preparing for the other half of our lives.

And half of those halves of our lives are spent doing nothing.

are spent doing nothing other then studying, preparing for things to come (that never even come)

Please don't lead me on

if it's all just a joke to you.

A simple jump,

like so many others.

Only this one would be defining for so many people.

She was at the very end,

nothing was worth living for.

She had made up her mind when she stepped off with her eyes closed.

But as she felt herself fall she realized

that this isn't what she wanted,

she needed to live,

to live and fix all her mistakes, say a few sorries.

There was so much she hadn't said to those that cared about her

and that she cared about.

How did she forget them right before she jumped?

But now there is nothing to hold on to but air.


It's to late.

Steady, things have been going steady,

starting to be someone new and improved

maybe actually be someone that another guy would like.

But then you appear somehow again

dragging me back into my dreary old life and mind

I don't currently feel like giving anyone a lecture,
so I'll try to put it simply.

If you keep setting your mind on the negative,
you will never be anywhere near positive
and you will never be better (which, I might add, you say you are try to do)
and you will end up alone in life and even more miserable then you are now
(or say that you are) and then you might actually end up where you think you are heading now (dead)

You're stuck in my head,

and I'm counting the days

until I can see you again.

All writers live in a town

all to their own next to a huge river,

but even rivers can dry up for a while.

Look out for that boy that's always running.

If he stops for you,

he won't be there for long,

it's against his nature.

You are always rated to someone else.

No one cares any personal improvement.

If you don't win, you aren;t good enough.

It's not that all these guys forget.

They just act like they forgot

because they don't want to remember.

Everyone is full of joy,

and I can point out those that come from awful places,

those two kids grew up in a crack-house until they were adopted.

Now they are two of the most joyful people I know!

How?

Maybe that can be me someday. :)

Finally somewhere I belong.

People I know I can trust forever.

A reason to try to be the best I can be at everything I do.

Why must you  do this girl?

You know he's a ****,

didn't you learn the first few times he broke your heart?

Just because you guys are together now

doesn't mean he'll stop breaking your heart.

I want to change everything about myself

But that's just a want I can't have.

So I guess I'll just deal with the mess I have now.