As every day goes by, I feel closer
to the edge. I lose more of my
soul. I learn more about
how little I mean
to you. Every
minute I get
closer to
nothing.
Further
from
life.

trapped in a terrible tangle
of thorns.
pierced by the powerful pains
of thoughts.
with every attempted escape
it tightens.
yes, i'm afraid what will happen,
i'm frightened.

how many people come and go with
blunted shears?
are they ready for the bush?
i sneer.
for they will never be ready, they will
never comprehend.
they’ll never understand how to help
their friend.

i have been trapped in a terrible tangle
of thorns
for years.
and now,
the thorns
are gone.

but so am i.

red and weak petal shields,
strong in their looks
and their fake perfection.
nobody knows
that roses are ugly,
when you peel away the petals.

i like being tired.
i like the pain that ripples across my cornea.
i like to stare off for prolonged periods of time,
just to get this specific effect.
is 15 too young to feel like this?

i imagine i do it to punish myself;
i imagine i do it to punish myself
for the things that i have, yet haven't, done.
those that i think about excessively.
i think way too much.
is 15 too young to feel like this?

it ***** to be me.
it doesn't, i have a great life.
family, friends. girl.
yet that's what my mind tells me:
“it ***** to be me”
is 15 too young to feel like this?

i like to spend my time alone.
i should spend it with people.
i don't.
i listen to continuous music
that causes my mind to drift.
i hate it, but i love it.
it causes my mind to drift
to dark places.
i hate it, but i love it.

i want to die. i don't, but i do.
15 is too young to feel like this.