And just like that she's my mama again.
Calm as cool cat inching through an alley.
Asking about me with her motherly concerns.
Reminding me her love is constant even if her mood may not be.
She ensures that she never really has to worry about me because I'm just like her in a way. Strong and self sufficient.
She had to love us all differently and for some of us her love couldn't be enough.
She revives me as she gushes about how maybe I was the only one.
This woman is not cold, she is as vibrant as a July night with a clear sky.
Her words glide rather than fly like a dart aiming to ****.
Her eyes do not squint with mutiny but widen with interest
Do you miss your dorm?
She must've been reading my mind
She knows it gets hard around here
Her eyes tell me that she needs me around just to bring her back to being my mama
Not Mani's or Cartel's because it makes her cold
She needs to be warm once in a while
For me
Pass me the jelly
Can you take me to work on Tuesday?
Refill the tissue
Did you feed the dogs?
She depends on me
Thanks for cleaning the kitchen
Thanks for doing the laundry
I always try to ease her workload
Thanks for putting my clothes in my room
Thanks for making the lasagna
…Sourdough melt basket with mayo and ketchup. Please don't forget the mayo and ketchup.  Oh and chicken tenders with barbecue sauce
Lex

Yes Mama. I won't forget, I never do.

"My mother's a *****. I don't say that out of disrespect, but yeah she can be a real *****. Colder than a homeless man that goes shirtless during a Wisconsin winter simply because he had given the shirt off his back to his   daughter before he lost her. She's not cold to the core though. See, it's just that my mother has been through so much. I like to think of her not as a cold winter, but a late spring. Just as the tulips try to grow through the snow without rain, my mother is just trying to find her happiness but she's just deterred by pain."

Tomorrow marks June 2nd.

For me it is the day I find out if I have been accepted into the School of Journalism.

For her, it is the day she finds out the *** of her child.

I remember freshman year we became friends. She was skinnier than me, and shyer too. Always lookin' mean, but I saw her smile and she let me see her smile all the time.

Now the hidden sweet girl will be someone's mother soon.
I hope she let's her child see her smile too.

Akin to second hand smoke
rage passes on
she isn't cognizant of the idea that when she yells
her words cut through me too

I become both their emotions
angry like my mother
saddened like my sister
my emotions contradict themselves
stuck in a middle counting down until I can escape again
Was it this bad a year ago?
Perhaps my absence causes the rage to reach all time heights because
Without me it's even emptier
neither have someone to run to, a confidante
Who's there to save the hero?
I feel my headache as it accompanies my cramps
Tears said he'd be here in twenty
I'm sick of both of them at this point

I ran in the rain and
as I reached the car
I wondered
*Why hadn't I ran until my feet gave out?

I'm a servant to the pages
Intruding on infinite realities to distract me from my own
She's always yelling
For a day I can be someone else
Keeping my nose tucked
Serving as a fly on the wall as all hell breaks loose
It's never over
No book between my fingertips shall prosper as long as I'm stuck in this
madness
Saddened as the thickness that once was the unknown dies out until I reach the highly unanticipated author's note
Not five minutes passed before the yelling revs up again
Like a bad engine trying to restore it's life
I want to hit the road too

Together we feel like the color yellow
Just as bright as can be
Happy to just be together doing nothing
Rather than being bored doing nothing
Separately

Thoughts stampeding through my mind as my eyes try to focus on pages of words.
Images of myself clashing with those of Jean causing me to neglect the story she's trying to break down to me.
It's just hard to hear her over my screams.
Visualizing the car scene that took place just an hour ago
Envisioning myself as the demon
Wondering if I was overreacting...

Replaying all the scenes where my anger fuse has dwindled too fast
My mouth pained with a quick tongue
Curious if a drink would've calmed my nerves

I just hope people don't replay these moments like I do...