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The devil resides on a fence post,
covered in honeysuckle and black berry vines
Across the dirt road in front of my house
He squats there,
atop that post
With his beautiful grin and blue eyes
He has demples when he smiles,
and hair the colour of hay
His voice,
is that of silken sin
Offering up a drunkenness that the finest of whiskys can't give
He drowns me in satin,
posing promises never kept
He bruises peaches,
and feeds on flames
Beckoning my flesh,
with the sharpest of silver blades~A
I speak of this hell of addiction. It seems I've sold my soul to it. But we all have our vices.
 Sep 2017 Alexandra Provan
 Sep 2017 Alexandra Provan
I may have written;
A thousand flowery words.
All of them fell short,
Paltry, meager rendition;
Of such beauty that is you.
Words were never enough.
 Sep 2017 Alexandra Provan
today i thought
of you
and i didn't flinch
my heart didn't
beat any faster
my mind didn't
i'm getting along
without you
I've been thinking,
about the rising up, call to arms, out of the ashes way,
in which living is supposed to go.
The battlefield,
on which we are meant to leave our hearts and say we won the war.
Strength is always seen in the conquering, the moving on, the getting over.
We've given no regard for the staying, the breathing, the choosing.
Things that are not accompanied by charismatic victory.
I love not gently,
subtle my heart is not.
a force,
but not a storm.
[it does not pass]
Spring, declining to wither,
as winter settles in our bones.
Vintage in nature,
but too fragile to be traded
between hearts & possibility.
I am a woman , I should be timid - They say
I am a human , I know no limit  - I say,

My existence is not meant for your judgment
Crushing me is not a sign of your triumphant,

My love for you has always been abundant
Why am I the one to make all the adjustments,

Look into my eyes , you'll see a twinkle
Savaging it , is so sinful,

My demand for freedom makes you reluctant
Clothed in societal norms , I have to bear its repercussion,

How are the governing laws so different for Both
What makes you so nervous of my growth,

Why do I have to fight for what is my right
Why do you enjoy my plight,

Being submissive is declared my attire
No one hears what my heart desires,

I am not the one to dance on your note
I am a volcano that erupts on my own,

I don't demand anything extraordinary
All I seek is equality,

Equality to Breathe without fear
Equality to be safe my dear!!!!!
A tribute to Equality of a woman
 Jul 2017 Alexandra Provan
I run without destination for the sole purpose of getting far away
And that's what existence is all about
Running in a vicious circle called life.
A circle that has nor starting points nor finishing lines.
But what if I want my running to stop
What if I'm tired of running
What if my weak feet cannot bare the weight of my body anymore?  

They tell me you should get a rest
Yea, probably I should
But would the voices inside my head stop, too?
For my head is a jungle full of sounds that never shut up
A full time jukebox playing a cliché song that never ends.

Maybe none of you is interested in a story of a girl with voices
And I understand.
We live in a society where everyone choses to ignore others' pains but who ironically insists on sharing their joys.

Some flowers grow out of nothing  They defy harshness and decide to love life instead of praying for its end.
I wish I had their strength, I wish I loved life.

I am not a life lover, and I remember my mother telling me that love is the only thing one cannot impose on you.
But mum, here they are blaming me for not loving "my life"
It’s hard to let
go when you
forget what
it was you
were holding
on to.
Was it a dream
that captivated
my heart or
was there something
greater at

I’ve forgotten
all the names
of the characters
that have graced
my stage over
the years but
I never forget
how each one
made me feel.

Forgetting is
journey worth

I’m old,
stuck in my
ways and I
won’t be
too long in
the tooth
to let new
eyes see the
fire still
burning in my soul.
That is
for me alone,
it might come
out to
play sometimes,
when it’s dark
and no other
fires are visible,
I’ll let out a
little spark and smile
in the way only
someone who has
lost everything can.
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