an outline so evocative.
a strange desire to sing the unwise,
to catch a name and raise a fist,
to bare a few words,
and claim this evening,
from an otherwise drunken mood.
habitual courage summoned at the sweat of another drink,
a committee of stoic voices living inside of me.
passed down through a millennia of spanish men
incessantly clamouring for more whiskey.
to just breathe and let go.
and pick up
heavy and lose
i own the night
i own my dreams
the right to live
On the ground dead
Half buried, arm sticking out
Abandoned and left with a lily
A ceremony long finished
People just passing through
A sequence of prayers
Long dried up and floating into the ether
Winters almost gone
Duplicity is just about melted
The sun is helping the rot
And what's left of the body
Is bordering near dust
Forests of stone, glass and light.
The truth cries out in the night.
Dearest oatmeal, Sometimes we fail to be whom we need to be.
Sometimes trepidation assumes form and takes judgment.
I need you to ASK yourself,
Can I trust this voice?
Discover the self,
And feel for what you say,
Does it strengthen my position or fragment it?
This world full of thunder,
Awaits someone more than you.
Someone outside the domain of opaque
Someone ready to tender, and accept the world for its stench, and will enough the courage to make it better.
The best kind of people are the ones not afraid to tell the truth.
The best kind of people are not afraid of showing vulnerability.
The best kind of people laugh with infectious glee.
The best kind of people make a stand and work out love or for the possibility of it.
The best kind of people shed themselves of filters (judgements) and fall fourth straight into arms of possibility.
The best kind of people sacrifice in the now for a better abstract future.
The best kind of people are wholly selfless.
Transference is inevitable.
A flower that grows in between the dead cold moss.
A small hope cradled as a warm stone.
A kindness born through some invocation,
some attempt to make sense of our place in this world.
Its a prayer, a distance seen in your eyes,
A doubt formed in the mind,
by the brief rejection of a potential lover.
We are the esculent,
made ready to be consumed by the love of another.
We are a breath, held on by the hands of a good friend.
A flame stoked,
Gently in the night.
We are, we are,
Is a whisper crawling out me.
An echo made by a stranger underneath my skin.
A tiny yearning that bubbles up,
as a set of continuous chortles.
My heart beats,
and I give into phantasm.
The Crimson sun that never sets,
The moon that bathes and overthrows us with all of its beauty.
The ocean breeze and it's cool attempt,
Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.
ineffable contours, that cannot be tamed with a wordy depiction.
Like water running through my fingers,
Ephemeral, and leaving me to linger.
Caldera, my steaming desire.
Instantiates a spy, that is ready to be set on fire.
Daughter of eve,
Carousel of dreams
You’ve drowned my angels
And left me to die in a reverie.
Something worth of living and loving.
A sky free of judgement,
A land full of green.
An air of honeysuckle,
A bite of tangerine.
A soft hum of roses, A rising tickle of joy
A kindness without any poses,
A lover ready to deploy.
I found you,
In a cavernous room holding onto a single ember.
You were small white and so delicate, Lost in the dark.
An unwanted man, left to drink a vile concoction.
One of duplicitous bitterness and maniacal laughter.
Those were days without pause,
All in an attempt to effect a wordless reconciliation.
Take a knee,
You hold on,
You can dream in color now
chiseled of sprit
Afraid, and restless.
Cold as a stone, looking for courage underneath a facsimile.
Blind and tortured,
A feeling so ineffable,
A courage so paradoxical.
With a sliver of hope I stumble forward.
Emotions, damp and turgid.
The mournful yappings of weakness.
The good ol’ potent self doubt.
Young girl, violins,
White horses run.
A rune with your name on it,
Living at the bottom of a wishing well.
words only ever to be heard once.
Nothing endures forever and so it goes.
A Secret alphabet developed by two.
A voice that carries warmth, raises a smile and lives to perpetually remind us of the moment(s).
Desires queued and ready to wither.
A language derived from the stolen warmth off of my fingers.
To become the unfamiliar, familiar.
To love madly under the autumn moon,
and lose all reason.
To ingratiate the self, is a desert never to walk out of again.
of soft spoken secrets.
Of arms and tracing,
Stone white symmetry.
under the quiet summer rain.
Burns a flame,
In my gut.
A Hopeless chorus,
bereft of prayers.
Shoot me down,
I come in peace.
In the night I am joined.
A drink summons a row of faces,
unrecognizable they come to me as penumbras.
A swirl of half crescent grins and grimaces cry out in pain.
I am ****** into a hole of submission,
here are all the allegorical creations living inside of me.
These things stand tall, bare and judging.
Laughing and watching as I fall into a bottomless grip called “inevitability".
Breathing raw, dank ideologies.
Manifesting nasty, stubborn idiosyncrasies.
I am freed by another drink
And the pleasant reality
that sometimes moving on
beyond the pale
and catch a look
at the proxy (yourself).
Glimpse at the unfamiliar,
at the sweet terror of someone,
you've never known (yourself).
Revel and tune in,
on the loose lips of a stranger(yourself).
in the queer warmness of this red rose.
Learn to love the unmanicured-self.
the new self that needs you.
Here we are
In a closet,
protected by intimacy.
This is not a reflection,
written on sand
nor a message
left on a mirror
by salient hands.
With a phrase
I will release you.
Into a room,
Without judgment, or breath.
Without a scream of worry,
Or an island of regret.
This is love without witness,
The most naked of vulnerabilities.
The self-seeking, all seeing periphery,
an index pressed on my lips
the air rank with cherries
spits of rain, and thunder afar
my breath at a minimum
and this love is already augured w/ scars
Under a twilight glow
ease my disquietude
her voice an effervescent hymn
lulling the snakes that reside within my soul
under my nose
She questions the validity of her arrangement
cards dealt by "life"
she questions me
she questions the intent
she questions tonights heavy glow.
danced barefoot in the dark,
seduced by a rhythm
were lost within a hug
paired in the evening
roaring with giggles,
were lulled into a small embrace,
Inches away from love
stood soft in the night
turned into a star.
Give me your eyes
don't be afraid
deserved to be seen through
Give me your hands
we suffer we cry
we are as we do
Give me your shoulder
all the difficulties
are broodingly beautiful
all the new stitches
are earned places of strength
every narrow hallway, every new expanse
every orange lit sky way
is a spring that’ll last forever.
live in focus
and save yourself
a trap set under a pile of leaves.
a sweet decoction of rythmic phrases
a cozy hug over the coolness of a damp night
An indelible kiss on the cheek
a rush of wind never to be contained
a complete stillness of life
an invocation of instant gratitude
a parade of contentment,
melting my heart
the end of the world
is lit in a red hue
Small prayers muttered in discreet whispers,
are softly spoken inquietudes said in reverse.
It's the Cynic, the pathological saint
sliding into my thoughts.
come anew and ready to live again.
my mind lacks any real estate to be reminded of any once past reflection.
memory has failed me,
and thorns have surrounded me.
And here is where i've found myself.
sunken, defeated by nihilism
left alone with a beacon
a new friend,
with a new tune
telling stories of grandeur
like a flower, bloom
like two lovers roosting in on each others noses;
celebrate the end of a road
and the beginning of a new one.
those words are stones
dropped into a lake of voices.
The loudest of them,
repeat ad nauseam.
In this nexus,
i am the oppressed.
Jackals swim concatenating the worst of thoughts,
plotting tomorrow’s coup d'é tat.
My proclivity, to take the wheel
Invariably pulls me under.
Here in this place I am greased like Atlas
Punished to become the choices I’ve made
And for that I’m grateful.
I don't make a point to accommodate it.
But it's here,
Gripping my nerves and taking them out for a spin.
When it's contextualized,
And becomes the loudest voice.
When it's partnered up with doubt,
And becomes compound.
When it's anointed a constable,
Whom whispers disinformation.
When it presses anxiety,
And plays cowardice.
When thoughts turn into patterns,
And my hubris dwarfs enough to fit inside a paper cup.
When my center becomes a deafening storm of pain.
And hiccups of rage fill my hands.
I am made to remember fragility,
my sanity is a pebble Loose on a river’s stream
gently flowing into the arms of vulnerability.
Climbing inside is ritual.
I build myself in this place
discussions are curated,
decisions are made and I connect all the veins.
I invite all my wolves (emotions) inside,
and make pelts out of them.
Gloriously i let them cover my body,
It is then that I become the supreme oppressor.
A GOD dressed in thicker skin,
making whole hearted claims to peace and sovereignty.
In Victory I am made cold,
perverted, I am quick to lose sight.
the path back breaks me anew
And my predilection for all things soothed,
Makes me climb back
Into the crucible I crawl
Seeking a better man.
The truth is there is no center
no alignment of spirit & body
just a vehicle full of bubbles(thoughts).
Apologies in advance
a bubble pops and with it our sense of free will.
we Carry us
we Carry us
through the frigid harbors of loneliness
we Carry us
and find the strength to bury the depression that amassed over this past winter solstice
oh my heart, heavy as a stone
there it goes, bleeding all alone
i hold it up high
if today will be the day i die
that i won't
As a master of my own domain
the fire in my gut burns heavy with flames
We Carry us
With the love of life, buried deep inside of us.
The path back is lost.
In all candor, it's my own behavior that i abhor.
This troubling state, this drunk inertia.
Is no commodity that deserves praise.
For a troubled man, full of sores
will end up crying alone.
many thanks to my bedroom ceiling, and the fractals that play in between a quick intermission.
Repulsive, obtuse, pompous, deaf, dumb, sweetheart,
ill set a candle for you
i swear, i swear, i swear
i accept you (myself).
When all is said & proved.
& those close, are quick to run.
Clarity will beckon lose,
& sink like kingdom-come.
Tendrils of peace
Fiery rings of freedom
This onus is making me prune,
& i have lost myself in a reflective arboretum.
The anthesis is the self, humiliating disaster.
Argumentations are made in the night to keep away all those laughing *******.
sins are sins are sins are sins are sins are sins
failure creeps aboard, and my patience folds thin.
Inside everyone of us exists a chorus.
A picture-present, set of voices.
In this abstract, I find thought & reality
to be a singular unit.
Each conglomerate sings of a present desire/want.
We are made gods in this place, bounded of course by the limitations of our own imagination.
Some thoughts are wicked, some thoughts are pleasant.
Some thoughts must be simply kept wholesome, to keep the world from our essence.
Sadly, i find that nothing i conjure is 100% my own.
Each spin of the web is a subset creation of some else's ideas, someone else problems. In this i find that free will of course is also evaporated.
i the author stands on the shoulder of another.
in this realization i am set free.
Where did i leave my self respect?
When did i start splicing pieces of my heart into small dividends?
I can feel myself dying; pulse checking,
i want to make sure i can still hear the kid in me crying.
What if the rocks i un-face hide no answers?
Instead all the faces i awake bring all sorts of new disasters?
And the bricks (thoughts) that are weaved inside my head.
Are corruptions built to jade me dead.
And those floating heads that scream & bite.
Are all false anyway,
So i bid you all Goodnight!!
I find Madness to be much like a mental resin.
A volatile sickness, that sits on the cusp of belligerence.
such vehemence merits the title of an artist.
The beast in its own way stands for a peculiar beauty.
Spinning its spokes,
i have seen an author at play, combing the labs of creativity,
seeking solace, and reason in this sort misadventure.
kicking my feet back & forth in the water
Observing such cartoon characteristics,
should this traveler of realms be judged by a moral higher-arch?
Should it not be allowed to play its lute?
As long as no pain and suffering is wrought on our fellow beings?
Bringer of ideas, bound by no line of chalk.
the hurt that troubles you, will sadly be forgot.
in the arms of a fool, society stinks like a public pool.
So carry on your freedom, without care of any those whose only job is to inevitably drool.
Grab hold of the night,
Slip in through her curtains.
Sink in your teeth & bite,
nothing must feel uncertain.
Holding my breath,
I'm seeking passage out of here.
Eyes & memories,
body & soul,
Boundless energy fills my lungs,
& assuages me whole.
Small kisses of love,
are my only tokens.
I shudder and think,
of what's finally awoken.
Hands are tied,
future is set.
I am a rider,
observing a unruly death.
Locked away under gratuitous conditions,
spent my evening,
consoling a nightmare of negative inhibitions.
Oscillating, observing temperaments as they arise.
Ventilating, un-facing malevolent crimes.
Fire walk with me,
keep me from splitting into a bicameral mind.
Shotgun of truth
Wielded & then ****.
Into existence i bring thee: Suffering
Yo naci para morder te
Acercate que en la noche hace mucho frío
Mis espinas son mis pies,
Mis pétalos, son mis labios.
Por aquí aveces pasa la Luna,
Dormida y llena
Yo Celoso, el viento aveces me lleva torpe.
Con un dolor profundo en mi alma.
me pongo a llorar y sonreir
Al fin llega la amanecer
Al fin puedo dormir
I wrote this on a dare
Lay it out for all of us to see.
Make amends, i need you right beside me.
I promise out of fear comes courage.
So come, devoid of any languish moments
Gold is the void
Infinity is a grip,
power is a play,
made for all of us to slip.
Everything fades, nothing will ever sit
so free yourself from any gamut
that'll make your heart quit.
Tonight's the night i die
without circumstance, without center
i stand alone, dancing, bleeding.
Freckles in bloom, i resume my disorder
What keeps me Magnus?
Eyes, points of black flame
Brown, underneath the blackened hair.
Lips, like gorgeous labellum
Sunflower, my mind escapes into a sunset ether
The window to my fire escape is open
And i can't help but think of you.
Give it sometime
our minds work in patterns.
worry is a house full of thieves,
Step outside of it and you'll be made able to breathe.
Give it some time
Negative creep is a curable disease.
A faction that misrepresents a conquerable aberration.
wait for my signal, here have some chamomile tea.
Give it some time
i pray you'll be able to sleep
darkness is approaching, and you should know
i'm here for you for whenever
your wounds start to bleed.
Your actions are violent,
A misrepresentation of character.
Wounded light, you have a friend in me.
I don't believe you're worthless
In fact, your happiness is my own.
A signature, I still very much enjoy.
My longest moonlight, pack your things and leave.
All my memories have been shoved into an evanescent dream.
So fly on like a zephyr,
fly on please.
The moxie, the eccentricities,
the lovely retreats.
The embraces, the symphonies,
Take it all, please.
canvas sky, full of love.
may my body morph into a dove.
i need peace, i need steel.
i need to rid of all the feels.
Dear Azi, I'm full of broken thoughts.
My insides are like a box of matches.
The moisture from my sorrow, wont allow combustion.
I get up every morning with a tourniquet in my hand,
seeking the self in the vestibule of my childhood.
Your caveats no longer reach me.
But, the sweet carousel of your laughter still does.
Each loss is a new vulnerability.
A subscript, for a long past bludgeon.
The only whisper that still holds,
is the one that tells of your past love for me.
Kingdom of giggles.
my love grows nobler,
with each caressing nibble.
Coalescing, subterranean dimensions.
Expressing, my loving ascension.
Lips of affection,
my heart is stuck in a parallelogram of contention.
lost in reverie, no hope left for me.
She's always misplacing.
Feeling for new incongrunces
I try to be pragmatic, & feel for her supple fingers.
These are the parameters of an injured human being.
A prosaic heart, A tenuous mind.
I have fallen into the pit of her idiosyncrasies.
A man on a mission seeking to breathe & expand my spirit into her lungs.
Her nature corrupts my own,
And like a troglodyte, I disperse my emotions into a prism.
A prism that is now full of turmoil & suspicion.
Oh wonderful, wonderful you..
Somethings are forever.
Like a last goodbye, swelling into a deep lullaby.
Or like new beginnings under a reign of tiny kisses.
My emotions are a crutch,
My will, feels like it doesn't weigh much.
What's inside of you, is also found inside of me.
A child, full of vulnerability.
Never safe, in a jungle full of uncertainty.
Sometimes, a voice is allowed into the fold.
Words Spark Embers
Love leaves Smolders
And in the moonlight two souls are Adjoined in a single sight.
Hair on your face
twinkle on your nose
beautiful lips & a heavenly soul
i feel myself squint
i feel my heart melt
my love begins & and my arms give out
The hurt you sold, the hands you left.
My body feels cold, my mind's a mess.
I can feel the earth, I can feel the wind
So I know, I'll crawl out from within.
I've had enough of my stomach,
I've had enough of my breath.
I'll sink my feet into the soil and burn on without any regrets.
I'm missing the innocence, i'm missing your fingertips.
But most of all I'm missing your soft countenance.
Sometimes when I rise out of the nebulosity of my ego, I can see dead leaves on the ground.
Above I feel formless, Uncrippled by any precursing contingencies.
Disturbances are nullified by the rising and falling of my breath.
I am no longer a keeper of anything.
I feel as I've been left to float inside a vacuum that requires the complete disassociation from anything that I have ever known.
Everything here is gentle, && welcomed.
vibrant and healing.
perplexing to those that aren't ready to let go, salvation for the many who are.
Feather bound beauty
Collected inside my dream, a stream of tear drops are falling down your cheeks.
Your eyes like wells,
Your lips like tangerines.
I brought my heart tonight so that we both may have a goodnights sleep.
My intentions are honest && gutted from the purity of my soul.
All I wish now is to hold you Evermore.
I'm afraid, these hands that hold my ego are shaking.
I've been inoculated by a dangerous romantic. A feathered creature whose ghoulish eyes seeks for ME.
Me, the serpent hiding in the grass.
Me, the one in the mirror.
The one in the echo chamber, considering less the repercussions.
My vulnerabilities are embarrassing,
My insecurities are medicine for disaster.
Under the layers I find a rune,
This one says honesty, && kindness
Is that you laughing?
This one says tenderness && tranquility
That was just a dream.
This one says I'm in love with you.
This space is tender.
Every inch, a ubiquitous sense of peace.
A gift, found under a bedrock of a beautiful smile.
A gift left over by the warmth of your hands.
I'll always remember the little things.
The steady acquiescing sound of your voice rippling through my spine during a midnight conference.
The simple, but warm vibrations of your childlike laughter.
Your nervous eyes seeking cover from my gaze.
Here's a list of my demands.
Here's a list of my emotions.
Finally, sanctuary under your soft lips.
A command so volatile
Sometimes can seem, insufferable.
At the knees of regret, each day can feel, like walking barefoot on a road full of stones.
Clarity seizes, the day guilt is accepted.
Retribution is then counted on your fingers.
Questions are asked and the source is found.
Awe of the universe weighs in.
Scientific reasoning fills the populace
And a new man is Born again, into the cold-breathing-heartless-darkness.
The soul is immutable and so it begins.