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I want so badly to be put to sleep
just until the end of spring
when school is done with
and decisions are gone
and maybe, just then, i could move along,
for so many worries beat down on my head
and emotions run rampant, to their greatest extent
my body is stressed and nothing comes out
i can't even **** much less calm down...

all i want is peace ...
something quiet and calming...
some comfort
that i fear feels quite embalming

yet every breath I take and every sound i make
somehow burns me at the stake
from anger, yet much more,
a type of bitter vengeance which i abhor
On Life?
Nay, on self.
This frustration damning me to hell
I want to go to sleep
Or somewhere in between

but knowing my luck
it'd follow me to my dreams
... I don't know how to do it...
 Mar 2018 alexa
Hanorah
Empty
 Mar 2018 alexa
Hanorah
Sunken eyes, leaking invisible tears
The pain is present, but it fails to affect me
Numbness hindering my ability to function
Intelligence high, emotions low.
Glancing out the classroom window,
But i can feel the pressure of
The Anatomy teacher’s plastic skeleton’s
Empty eye sockets
Staring into my soul
Mocking my very being
Reminding me of my eminent failure.
Can’t be a coincidence,
It knows I’m a living body
It knows i go through each day like a routine
Wake up, brush your teeth, wash your face
Avoid looking in the mirror to acknowledge the disgrace
That is you. You have failed
Each and every person in your life
The one who mattered got away and hasnt loved you since
You’re stuck
You’re broken
You’re alone
The stack of plastic bones
Won’t fail to remind you of that
Neither will every bland bowl of soup
Every typical day
Every textbook passage and each false smile presented
To those who think you’re their friend
But they don’t really know that you’re not capable of caring
About anyone
Including yourself.
Staring out a subway window
Lost in my own head
Never failing to forget
Having to let everything go
But there’s nothing i regret
Though I’ve done so much wrong
My heart is empty and pale
Barely even beating
An Empty soul with an overcrowded mind
Can never stop thinking
Of everything I’ve ever done wrong
Trying to feel remorse, finding nothing but blackness
Nothing but a blank expression.
I now realize why that skeleton was staring at me
It was showing me my reflection.
I have rotted away everything that makes me who i am
I’m left with the bare minimum of a human being.
The ability to follow routines and instructions.
 Mar 2018 alexa
skyler
the devil
is a pretty lover
with kind eyes
a warm touch
and a hypnotic beating heart
who says they love you
but then leaves
and takes your fragile heart

s.s
 Mar 2018 alexa
skyler
him and i
love
like the sun in the sky

one moment we rise up
in colors so stunning
you can’t peel your eyes away

one moment we sink down
below the horizon
creating endless darkness

over and over
we are a cycle
of light
and the lack of it

we will either chase the sun
around the globe
to never see it set
or watch it explode
a dying star
and give in to a dark end

s.s
 Mar 2018 alexa
Hopeless Outlet
I'm kind of stuck
At least... I think I am
Somewhere between telling everyone I know to *******
And "just please come hold me friend"

Some place in between an uneasy heart and hectic mind

"I'm depressed"
Can't I just say it without having to explain why?
Sometimes I don't even know which reason to choose

Short replies

"You seem like you don't want to talk"

You're right, but I also want to reach out
I want out
I want to let go of everything
And capture it all in my arms

like a fire fly in the palm of restless hands,
Just let me hold on to your light
Atleast, just for tonight

Because I'm feeling stuck.
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