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Alexa Oliveira Jan 2014
This week focus are daily tasks....
Exercising
Eating 3 healthy meals
Prayer 3 times a day
Reiki for at least 20 mins
Sending out 5-10 resumes
Meditating for at least 10 mins
reading, writing, and listening to positive messages...

The focus is in the lotus...

And i can do anything...

I can not only get through this week.

But i will get a new job by next week.

I will be cool, calm and collected everyday, and by Friday night be at peace with myself..
Look back at January and laugh...  
Laugh because i know that im stronger now than i ever was...
God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors...

Afer losing mommy , i got straight A's. i played sports, i ran everyday, now that i think about it, i took very good care of myself.. i spent my week focusing on me, i would hang out with friends from time to time...

but i really did just focus on me, and what i wanted...

I remember it being tough... i remember thinking i would never feel better, i also remember having some days where i would just lay in bed...

i guess i was much more gentler at 16 then i was being weeks ago at 21....

5 years.. wow...

Seems like forever since then.

SO much has changed on many levels. Especially spiritual.

But i got through it...

Just like im getting through this...

When you relax the mind and the body, you then can focus...

I was so tense all the time.

Its nice to feel free for once...

Go with god.. He always fulfills our needs...
Alexa Oliveira Jan 2014
Universal Pull.
Its immense...
I stopped resisting.
I mean its transformation week...
I had to get a grip on my reality.
feeling funky may come with the territory, but its easily dissolved.
through exercising, reiki, prayer, journal... it dissolves.. it leaves you...
I learned a lot these last four weeks....
I had no idea how much faith  i lost in myself, i lacked a lot of energy.
Completely drained.. pushing on a force i couldn't see.
Today, i honestly feel happy for what i went through...
I was going no where fast...
Getting back to basics, builds momentum for a healthier, stronger path...
I learned some interesting things along the way...
The mind when not being used  to create, can lack motive and fall into a dark hole.
Or that "my words" actually do create my story...
Little behold a magical gift that i wasn't aware of...
Recognizing that those processes are temporary.
We all go through shifts of nature sometimes without realizing it.
I think the painful part was really letting go of the idea that i needed to stop worrying about everyone else, and would just find myself...
finding yourself requires patience. commitment. and willingness to be gentle.
i didn't have either of those qualities four weeks ago....
Now it really is a minute by minute process.
I do have major goals and dreams, but the universe is in alignment and will provide for me.
I have no doubt in my mind.
2014 is the year of Magic.
February is my month for self-love and fun!
Anything i want to do, i'm going to do it.
New job, New money, New experiences, new people...
So much, love, peace, and tenderness...
I feel in a sense that im being broken out of unhealthy, dysfunctional routine...
Drinking and Partying all the time isn't really my thing anymore for right now...
right now my thing is anything and everything that can bring me peace...
sometimes when your going through **** you lac kseeing what the outcome will be...
you immerse yourself deeper into the drama and darkness ...
but one of the things i learned is that, when you dont feel well, allow yourself to sit and think about it..
talk to a friend, a therapist, talk to god, pray...
see the messages you receive and then help your situation..
because a "pity party" can get tiring and draining.
Im one to talk..i spent the last 20 days, feeling sorry for my life...
"Whats wrong with me"
"why do i feel like this"
"Why now"
"When does it go away" (That was the big one)
... i literally wanted to feel peace without learning any of the things ive learned these past 20 days...  
and really your reality should be...
"Why am i feeling this way, why do i feel bad, sad, mad, or angry all the time".... these negative emotions are not who you are...
there is something deeper behind it... a lesson perhaps, or grief that you suppressed for years...
Its good to remain in peace daily, because then you are able to not only focus on self, but also undertsnad others...
Today-Friday is my transformation to my next level...
im already transforming, but this time its my last whoo rah...
anxiety and fear are wasteful...
they make you forget who you are...
I may not know who I AM....

but i do know WHAT I AM...
i Am strong
i am fearless
i am powerful
i am committed
i have faith
i am patient
i am peaceful
i am one with god almighty
i am light
Alexa Oliveira Jan 2014
Early Morning i glimpse at the sun and feel its warmth.
I know God has granted me another day to make positive change in the life of another as well feel love beyond my ego-self.
I go for a run, i feel the ground beneath my feet connecting me to the source of all energy and universal magic.
I sit in prayer.
I ask for wisdom, i express gratitude, and i collect the signs and messages needed for my spiritual self. I then prayer for others.
I drink water, i fill my body with hydration needed to relate to the bigger picture of "flow"
I make my smoothie, my breakfast, my delicious beginning of another movement of POWER.
I shower. I cleanse my body of the impurities it holds, and toxic aura crumbles swiftly fall down the drain into the depths of the ground...
I put on clothes... Clothes that hold the energy of someone who is in gods grace. Clothes that i have worked for, or have been blessed with its presence.
I call him... i ask him about his dreams, what makes him grateful, and how he plans to spend his day...
my words flow off my tongue with excitement, as i am eager to see his face....
I listen intently... holding onto to every word he speaks...
I express myself.. I feel love and warmth and peace within...
I pack up, and go to my car.
I turn on the ignition thanking god and asking for his protection and knowledge throughout my day, as he speaks through me to form the common good....
I go to work...
at work i feel this immense need to be present and observant in the activities.
I walk around i check on everyone. I make myself known as the one for whomever to express themselves  too...
i sit and i stand...i make an effort to elaborate all needs will be taking care of for the good of all people.
I dont stumble.
I review my thoughts carefully and do my best to remain in solid force..
i free myself from ties that are no longer helpful.
I spend my weekends in the water and or in some sort of activity. I feed my soul on the daily words, and noises, and in company of those who chooses to benefit themselves and others.
I watch anything of interest. I feel complete in my views..
When negativity strikes,  i recognize the feeling and nip it in the bud...
I don't dwell on past experiences, i simple on focus on what is in front of me, and continue to look forward to my goals.
I am closer to family, i spend my Sundays, and my vacation days with my father and my uncle.
I keep peace among family members...
I travel when opportunities present themselves.
I also take pictures as a hobby of anything i find to be interesting...
I listen to the sound of my baby brother play the drum
He is magical.
Anxiety does not exist.
it isn't apart of me.
it was removed.
sleep comes as natural as it can, sometimes with assistance i may need to drink a hot tea or take a sleep supplement...
but i truly focus on the health and wealth of my body.
With the money i make i spend on things that feed my soul, such as art, music, gifts for friends and family, as well as trips around the world..
you can here my camera click at all times of the day...
truly free to the core..
i let go of control.
no expectations..
god is guiding me towards something bigger then myself....
I do not question his mystery.
I do not question  his reasons for doing things....
However, i do respond with the upmost faith , that my life is meant to be one full of love, happiness, peace and prosperity...
This is my story...

And it begins today...
Alexa Oliveira Jan 2014
Magical swords they cut cords of lords
and break down doors of boarders
that have made you feel like you were
lost in disorder
so you agree for a fee of righteousness
to drop down on your knees and pray for all that is biased...
But the word of god speaks..clearly.
Why fight with our own flesh
when there is something higher ..willing to take us to progress
why stress..
yes..
for those who accept the tools of the almighty they are fine and in time can recline
and wine and dine with those who are so giving...
your mind plays tricks because it doesn't know the complexity of the soul..
thanks so much for your timely approach but now it is time to go...
my thought process is "wicked" how obnoxious.. now seeking to tone down noises..
begging unseen walls for new choices...
Luckily ive been blessed enough to have 3 guides and teachers and a wonderful man....
A family to love me and care for me as i went through a spiral..short period of change.. hit harder than a mile...
tomorrow i meet with another guide. i do believe she will be a friend to the end and will always provide...
she will find me indifferent, amusing and specific...
she will reassure of my gifts, my beauty, my spirit...
In less than two weeks, ill laugh at this.. look at myself in the mirror, and throw a kiss...
im beautiful now.. i was beautiful then.. i needed to wake up and see my true friend..
my soul....
It only gets better from here....
My magical Year
Alexa Oliveira Jan 2014
Patience is key to being a better me...
Shook me up, just so i can see..
That their is more to me than my old reality...
I am stronger than yesterday, so that makes me believe,
and know, that i will be the one to glow..
no need to wait two weeks to agree..
just as long as each day i remember who to be..
even though it may feel scary and tough...
before i came to earth i asked for it rough...
but i asked for it quick..
and it makes senses it really does click...
who would want days of dismissed tips and heart rips..
when their should more than love, and someone to kiss...
leaving the darkness picking up the pieces.. walking towards the light..
and yes i mean jesus..
lost all my belief, left myself weak...
now im believing in today, and just enjoying the shoes on my feet..
why not let jesus fight my battle for me...
he knows what to do..
i pray to him everyday....
all day... he is the reason that i am alive and that i am okay...
Alexa Oliveira Jan 2014
I've been spending close to about two weeks with family...
I missed my family.
Their quirks....their likes and dislikes...
I found myself shedding my skin ...
Emotionally exposing another side of me.
I returned to my home last night.... Briefly.
To clean....
To pray...
To establish my energy.
My home is beautiful.
I'm thankful for it...
But if I wouldn't have left it.. I wouldn't have appreciated it. Missed it.
I find that to be incredibly unfortunate.
Especially since I was actually saying "thank you lord for me home"....
That's why balance is so essential.
Go home weekly.
Stop in and say hi...
Or if you don't have a family or a family home...
Go see a friend...
Or go to a Church...
Take a long bike ride..
A walk , a drive...
Whatever... Get out of your routine.
Make your life your own.
This concept I would preach but I would not follow.
It's nice to see it now for what it is....
I made plans to learn how to dance bachata Friday night...
I made plans to learn how to surf Saturday...
And I made plans to ride a bike on Monday...
Each week... I want to dedicate my time to something I've never done or have always wanted to do.
And that's how I am goin to live my life this year...
The local restaurant and bar will leave you full with a headache the next day. But exploring new surroundings and establishing new energies will help you in your growth....
Explore your madness...
Balance it out.
Alexa Oliveira Jan 2014
You snooze you lose...
It was something like that they used to say...
But I was always sleep deprived.
Mentally blocked.
Insomniac of some sort that would wake up 3 or 4 times in the night....
You don't learn anything unless you really pay attention.
Awareness.
Subconscious.
Culture.
It's remarkable.
Most people do as others do.
They don't recognize their individuality until their married with four children and a mortgage an then decide they wanted to be a pirate or a movie star when there life is half way over.....
Not knocking those types of people. I thank god they eventually found their movement or had the courage to begin writing that novel that took them 10 years to think about.
But being 21...
I don't know who I am.
I'm not too sure of what I'm looking to be either.
Most of the time when people ask me what are you like or what do you like, I say... "I'm a great kid"... "And I see things differently"...
That's about it.
Life has many stepping stones for us...
Sometimes we trip on similar stones without even noticing...
But I do know that my life has always gone forward...
And my downs don't go that down anymore...
Well last week I was down.. But that's because I didn't what the hell was going on...
But once you figure it out...
You can utilize the tools you were blessed with emotionally, spiritually, and socially to then go ahead and review your issue....
The bible says the god an the devil will test us...
I disagree however...
I don't see it as a test really...
I see it as an evolution....
You cannot grow without change..
I believe the test itself is to not emotionally charge your reactions to certain things and begin viewing them from a more logical and analytical perspective. ...
But that is a test of the "flesh" ... Not of the almighty...
The almighty is within us.
He loves us.
He adores our souls.
He wants us to change, to grow... So we can be with him/her/universe.....
I think the real question is...
Are you willing to write about it?
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