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I sit at the window
And watch the rain fall
As the puddles grow bigger
And my heart just grows small.

I pushed all my feelings
Way too far down
So they can't be let go
And I can't make a sound.

I wish I could cry
Or just tell a friend
And maybe my pain
Will all come to an end

But my eyes will not cry
And my mouth will not speak
The feelings that torture me,
Inside, so deep.

I need a release
So I just watch the rain
That's crying my tears
And releasing my pain

Forget all that hurts me
That I've kept all inside
And focus on the puddles
Gathering rain while I hide.
 Jun 2019 Analytical skitzo
late at night, i lie awake
thinking of things i should have said
all the mistakes i've made
and signs i should've read

then think about what i can't live without
you, front and center in my mind
sometimes it feels like halfway love
almost, but not quite

still, parts of you make me whole
who i am and who i need to be
i think of love letters that weren't torn up
feelings of blue and green

when i'm without you
blank page, artless innocence
i realize how dependent i've grown to you
and feel the need to create a distance

sometimes i look up at the purple sky
and wonder if you're looking too
i gaze at the colors and the beauty of it all
though its beauty would never compare to you
Make amends
for these motionless
They never made a scene

Everything is currently crystal

Pin drop emptiness
muffled by ear buds
Nod and smile

I grow weary from a lack of generation

Resigned by default
dull glow for distracting
Drool for the letters

Knock on a door no longer

Slow the slip
night shrouds nothing
Street light clarity

Sometimes we see too much

Wine stained and ragged
he sat shoeless
Muted and glazed

A product of times constant tinkering

Humble like the cobble
we throw it aside
No thought for its origins

A victim of societies tenacious momentum

Build a new timeline
this one is known
This one is needed

fell between the cracks

no compromise for grasping

Radiant radio tower sky
please plug in for euphoria

static echoes
static responses

Wayward creatures full of frenzy

how they mingle so desperately

Dodge a bullet for excellence

Conclusion soaked suits
taken by a golden hand
Slop shop for clarity

Nothing makes sense anymore
The global coalition of closet queens scramble to make meals for Pence

A man who resembles a recalled children's doll

Toxicity in the plastic and he refuses to be house broken

The white house maids have already stepped on his piles

Corn fed and ignorant he turns red in his embarrassment

The scared racists scramble for that giant trash pile in the sky

clinging to their chicken fried lovers

fearing they may be mistaken for a gay man

Watch the child king place a rusted crown on old world hate

Progress was a train wreck

We found the cargo inside a slime pond

I mingle with the rational on occasion

I met my last girlfriend at an anti pipeline demonstration

Black gold chokes the life of rural pleasantries

They only wanted to carve out their peace of progress

but now it will ruin the natives and dissolve these drinking fountains

In America we don't throw journalists in prison

we just slap them with a lawsuit

Broke down they wrap around the bread line

Spoken word and selfless soup put on the shelf

This air blows cold and these leaves crack sinister

The news says hate crimes and bullying are on the rise

Peruvians run the corner store around the way

I went to buy tobacco and Laffy taffy

Their window shattered and crude spray paint over the entrance

apparently mistaken for ISIS

they stand confused and scared

just wanting the same things you and I do

happiness and health

security and a future for their children

A perpetual state of fear
A mind numbing angst

These are the tools we have going forward

Just in case nobody says it

I love you all

and you are always welcome at my table
Plastic parts and string theories make some noise

Grind another grain mill and watch the wind swept fade

Small finds lead to future calamities

we shake in the shadow

Giants of excess spew pompous protest

We stole the bread for nutrition

but we find it hollow and guilt ridden

Scream for these corners forced
that state we don't really exist

A means to an end and another mansion breaks ground


Broken home hero's die quick and without impact

White collars with the pill pop tendencies

Eat the fine cheeses and discuss the poor

Nod then chew without a clue about  whirlpool waste and desperation

trophy for the time bomb

He got drunk and killed a bystander

I would say innocent but who really is?

but his prison has a tennis court and the family has a scapegoat

Grease filled car ports expel wrappers and ignorance

Trip over the filth while they grin with yellow tooth

I need a vacation
I need inebriation
I need hesitation

Surely I would be drunk tank bound and fine slapped by fuzzy entitlement

leftover brain stew

I found it in the bottom of my ***

I'm not sure on its consistency

But I am sure it makes sense to me
Gray days make a mind vulnerable to the ridiculous
Morbidly we wait
drool drops
Hydration for insects
They gag on the taste

The eyes need illumination
conclusions by way of structure fire
Ash covered and mechanic

These minds crave the edge
purveyors of our time

We breathe easy
glass separates the chaos
Structured and correct
rather observe than interact

When these walls shatter

and we gaze into that abyss once so distant

We finally see the irony of our curiosity

It touches the skin in numbing complexity

A malfunctioning brain spins dizzy
nerves become alien
No control

Still we deny
asking why?
Muscles go slack
eyes glaze for the fun house

Ink filled pages

Tell nights tragedies in the boldest of detail

More looks of longing
coffee over obituary breakfasts
Eyes slightly gleam with glee
victorious in an insect existence

We crave the ***** and the depraved

Even the healthiest of minds stops for the strange

So we wait for the new downfall

Never thinking we could be the ones next observed with primitive pleasure

One billion hungry souls screaming for more
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