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alena Oct 2014
My father used to count the stars with me
He was the only man I ever trusted
And for good cause
He always said to keep my eyes off the moon when trying to count
because its light will blind you to the smaller stars
It always took time to find the moon afterwards because of the avoidance
but just now I know why...
Some lose the moon while counting the stars
and others lose stars while watching the moon
But I found my moon and every star when I started to count on you
For you- Angus and Julia Stone
You are my sky and I'll give you whatever stars you like
alena Oct 2014
I feel the need to apologize if I sleep;
because you aren't here

I feel the need to apologize if I don't;
because I robbed you of my dreams

But I'm most sorry;
that I'm not there.
Time to sleep- marble sounds
(Soon I will stop being sorry)
alena Oct 2014
She is the Ficklest of us all
Why else would she let wind and rain age us?
She has spent so much of her life lonely
She keeps the moon from the sun
Making them die daily so the other can live
Keeps the wolves from the moon
So they write the most heartbroken songs of all
Keep the sun from her flowers for whole seasons

Just like she put distance between you and I for a time
She hates how my heart beat resonates with feelings for you
And sounds in a faint pounding that will echo
Chasing you down for as long as sounds resound

She cringes when she thinks of us
Because she knows that all the touches given and received
Between You and I
Will forever be unsuccessfully mimicked by the ocean
Giving kisses to the shore trying for what we have

But I'm convinced the real reason she put distance between us
For this short time
Is because she knows how beautiful you look
When you first wake
And she saw that I was meant to fit you perfectly
Mother nature was fickle and jealous

Souls like ours have a gravity about them
Something Mother Nature cant even control
A higher cosmic source destined us
we have a pull between us
Like the moon on the ocean

She knew even she couldn't keep you from me
I am yours eternally
Because you are my sun, my moon, and my flowers
You are my sky
Your eyes contain galaxies and a millennia of explosions of stars
Your heart beat is every song that was ever written
Your touch is years of rain showers and lightening

You have me awestruck
And Mother Nature is fickle
Because she once felt what I feel now and forever will with you...

She felt this when the World came into being
She had her life and eternity unrolled like a welcome mat
When she saw her world.
All the trees, all the oceans, the clouds, rain, sun,
All the beauty it would bestow and already had...

Was almost as amazing
As what I get to see
Every time I look at you
Yellow- Coldplay
alena Oct 2014
How
Poetry is meant to be felt
Not just read

How?
With every little breath while sleeping on my lap

Did you manage the feat of creating every love poem
Ive written & read..
To be All about you?
you are my muse
alena Oct 2014
A syrupy sweet voice
with lovely vowels is how I imagine her for you
deepens slightly when she sings
but heightens when she whispers

My voice , I'm sure isn't near as lovely
with an odd accent
and a habit to draw out the letter "t"
that has a sad bluesy tone when I sing and whisper
I don't have a voice that you'll dream about
At least I don't think I have a voice worthy of your thoughts

But my words, seldom
or rambling
(I never could balance the two)
are packed with meaning
So tightly I can barely breathe them out
They squeeze my lungs and I lose my breath
when I utter them to you
They may not be sugar coated
But words like forever

Mean what they are
And so much more
Forever
Without Borders or boundaries

Forever                                                                                                                 means past the limitations life tries to set on love like ours                      
my soul will continue to intertwine with yours                                            
Dust will no longer be Dust                                  Air no longer breathable
But yours I will remain

When I say you are my only
I mean you are the only thing that keeps me breathing beyond forever
Your soul is my universe
You have a gravitational pull that I need to keep from imploding
You spin me around in the best way
You have me star struck for life
You are why I feel I exist

And when I say I love you
I mean you keep my life livable
When my heart saw you
I felt my darkness and sadness melt away
You left me resplendent
I mean that your gentle fingers
have worked their way under my ribs,
gently pried them open
Leaving my heart exposed
but you keep it beating
Catching and putting permanent butterflies deep in my gut
pumping fresh air in my lungs
Sewing me back together with kisses
And holding my life together with your arms

When I say I Love YOU
I mean I ran
Far away from feelings as fast and far as I could
But you were there when I stopped
and you held me up as I collapsed
from exhaustion
taught me how to breath again
and I realized I never really knew how to

My words may not sound the sweetest that you've heard
But I can guarantee that they mean more than you've known
But I hope that you will eventually see and feel
what they truly can mean
I hope I can quiet  her haunting voice in your head
ive had them too
alena Oct 2014
Every night
                           I go through a series of motions.
who am I joking?
                           Every day I do.
The days.
                          Running into the next because its the same old dance
I wake up
                           Starting to lose feeling after my morning coffee
I want to cry
                            Every day driving into work
I go to sleep
                            Two hours after I get home
                It all feels the same

Ill feel nothing
                             Or I feel everything
But it doesn't matter
                             It doesn't matter
I have a monotonous routine
                               Constricting my soul

I know it will be over soon
                                But will I lose my sanity first?
my heart aches for the end date
                                 I need it.
I desire I life I don't even own yet
                                 So close but so far

I need it. I need me. I need you.
                                  I need this to end
I need a new start
                                 I need you every day
and until I have it.
I will be aching.
                                Losing my proverbial mind
Because they are days I'm losing with you
#3 - my life without you-
The wolves (act I and II)- bon iver
alena Oct 2014
Its funny how as a child you are told things
and you don't think about them again
Till you’re an adult

And suddenly few strings of words
Become the deepest well of reflection

So my grandmother
Told me People are a lot like flowers
And that it's sad that's true

Today I passed a flower vine
Lavender little bells
Strung amongst a vine wrapped around an old broom

The flowers were plain until today
And the insteps of the petals were bleeding light pink
The broom had been removed from the vine
The flowers had never been prettier

Some Flowers have to hold on to something to stay alive
Choking ;breaking
And only become beautiful, once they let it go

Only beautiful
Once they begin to Die
all the friendly people- the funeral suits
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