I would do anything for you
I no longer want to travel without you
I just wake every day thinking I will get you back
Every morning I make an effort to love you as much as I did the day before
Every night I tell myself to do it all over again
I miss your body next to mine I miss finding you in the middle of the night
I miss the days out of the house doing nothing and always finding something new
I miss telling you my deepest feelings
I try to treat you like a friend just like you want
but I hide the feelings that I have for you
Some days I hope to move on from you
And find the one you tell me I deserve
But all I want is for you to try to be that one you describe

You know how people say you put up walls to protect yourself from heart break.
Well I like to call them shields and you have to find a way to hack it. It isn't all shields there are laser guns covering the most critical parts.
There are false passage ways to lead you to different shields and doors.
But there is a weak spot deep in the middle of all the obstacles just like the death star.
I don't know the weak spot and I don't know when you get to it bit at some point you can blow the shields and lasers and it will lead you straight down a passage.
The only thing is you have to get to me before I find the exscape pod.
The one thing that I know is that,
even if I do escape.
The person that come chasing after me or finds me back with my shields, lasers and neverending passages ways,
I may show you the weak spot.
If you blink you may miss it and have to start all over again.
If you see it,
I can only hope my next structure will be open
or will have one less wall and not one more.

You are just some bad written poetry!
Thrown in a binder!
Lost to the owner in a house of old!
Waiting for someone to throw you out!

If I could go back to my past self I would tell them to find someone else.
Find someone that cares less.
That will cuddle and be kind.
Someone that cares for you mildly and won't look too close.
You should find someone adventures and willing to take the long road.
You need someone to get you to go.
To do things that you wouldn't do yourself.
You need someone who wouldn't try to help.

I want tho feel intamate with a man.
Safe even if I can protect myself.
I want to surprise and be surprised by a man.
I want to spend rainy days snuggle in the covers with him.
I want to hold hands and go places we have never been.
I want to discover things with him.
I want to f* hard and pashonetly.
I want to hug him and kiss him deeply.
I want love from a man and to love him back.
I want him to recognize who I am and I want to do the same thing back.

Some days I would make love to the words you wrote me.
And some days all it took was seeing you slip out of bed before you realized I was awake.
But every day was a pain to endue without you body next to mine.
I would get home and I would be just happy to massage you till bed.
Some days I still remember the feeling of you in me.
Some days I just want to lick you again and again.
But today was a day that I didn't even see you for a minute and all I can do is think about how we didn't just pounce on each other even for a quick minute.
Today I think of you like I think of a memory lost to time.
Today I saw you and all of the shadowed lines.
How fast that lust filled dream fades.
You, as you are without the haze.
Today I realized I will be okay.

I use to write poetry
and trying to imagine love.
Untill I found you
and I didn't have to imagine.
Then I lost you
and now I have no words.