Alan S Bailey

Alan S Bailey Jul 17

Completed Jimmy Dean Breakfast

Sang to the tune of Micheal Jackson's original song Billy Jean-1983

Verse 1
With the milk poured-bowl of cereal, hash-browns and melted cheese
I said, "got coffee grinds, sugar and cream and a cinnamon bun-
a fried egg-on your toast golden brown.
Yea a cinnamon bun-with
a fried egg-on your toast golden brown."
Said "I just added sour cream, to the bagels with Philly cheese,
These pancakes almost burned, flip em' now-with a cinnamon bun,
a fried egg-on your toast golden brown."

Pre-chorus
Someone once told me, "be careful what you do,
Syrup goes terrible with salt... (Hee-hee)
And melted butter drippin' "be it food that's on the grill
And just add chives to as well, cold pizza's
Good breakfast to!"

Chorus
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
Bacon and Chorizo-just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...
I just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...

Verse 2
For forty danishes and for forty pies, the juice on the side
Choice of sausage or raspberry jam? Pineapple and ham
And a fried egg-on your toast golden brown.
So next some cream of rice
Some croissants should do just fine
(Yea, real nice) Do just fine! (A-hoo!)
I asked could we have blueberry muffins (please?) lemon cakes with whipped cream
Maybe even Frittata's and strawberry's on the side, they should do just fine (Oh, oh)
With a fried egg-on your toast golden brown.

Pre-chorus
Someone once told me, "be careful what you do,
Syrup goes terrible with salt... (Hee-hee)
Whatever kind of pasta you eat
Huevos Rancheros with chili's
Beef hash and sauteed mushrooms
Even got egg omelette's too

Chorus
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
Bacon and Chorizo-just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
Bacon and Chorizo-just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...
Just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...

(Break)
Woo! Woo!

Chorus
Just put the griddles on, uh
Ya' know the waffles are almost done
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
Bacon and chorizo-just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know the waffles are almost done
No-no-no, no-no-no-no
Just put the griddles on,
Ya' know the waffles are almost done

(Outro)
Just put the griddles on
Waffles will soon be done
Put the griddles on
Yeah, yeah, Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
yeah, Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on, uh
yeah, Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on, uh
yeah, Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on, uh
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on, uh
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast

Jimmy Dean the sausage king and lots of breakfast food while sang to the tune of the well known song Billy Jean by Micheal Jackson.
Food humor lyrics Weird Al Yankovic style!

#music #funny #micheal #jackson #breakfast #jimmy #dean #toast #billy #jean

Alan S Bailey Jul 13

Something Breakfast Frill

Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill,
Bacon and Chorizo-an' just put the Griddles on,
Ya know-the Waffles are almost done...

Sounds familiar somehow

Just don't forget, if you're thinking "be careful what you do! Syrup goes terrible with salt..."

Then you're on to me LoL.

Work in progress

#breakfast #funny #pop #music #something #jimmy #dean #food

Alan S Bailey Jul 2

Writing And Fighting (Boredom)

You can't write the word "fight" while fighting someone-using a pen against them while they fought using a pencil! Even if you have a piece of paper in the other hand.

What would happen if someone figured out how to? Well, the pen could never be able to avenge itself unless it somehow found a way to "write" back...

One question, though, before you go: would the pencil's wits be sharpened during the battle?

It's gonna make sense! Thought I would do poetic war with this one. What you think?

#pen #pencil #write #fight #happen #questions #someone #short #poem #wits

Alan S Bailey May 8

Modern Li<es

I may be onto something new,
I put it all into everything I'm told (I'd) do,
But always in the end you stand there
Telling me where I have been, where
I intend to be, and then that I will never be
Free. Should have been careful from the start,
Though in life we are all walking in the dark,
You had to put up with my bitter judgement,
While I had to give you my second
-Yet very last red cent.

And still you say I complain to much,
Give me a pail I will fill it with water
But bringing it back you would never trust,
It's a lot of work but in the end,
I know you'd still secretly take a drink, my "friend!"

I told you everything I know,
Yet safely-at arms length-your gifts bestow,
I guess in the end it's no surprise
It was me who was telling all of your
Modern lies.

In the end when I'm done writing my life's poem I guess I've always gotta go, so there's no point to even taking what I earned for myself, now is there?

It's always too late from the start, isn't it?

#modern #lies #truth #judgement #enslaved

Alan S Bailey May 8

Work in progress

Verse 1
Hello toilet, my old friend
I've got to go now once again
I've been waiting for a great while
This time I'm going the ex-tra mile
With a force that few have ever known,
Sheer will alone,
I'm taking...the ****...enormous

Verse 2
In truth it feels more than I can take
I could pass out-and yes there's no mistake
That this straining-it is as such
Upon a mountain where lightning struck
Where I felt the challenge
May be well beyond my strength
What it might take
Attempting...the ****...enormous

Verse 3
And in the end I can now feel
This force of nature makes me reel
Pushing a boulder of such great size
Pushing a stone so big-one can't deny
Making a log-giving it your all-one may survive
Yes-in all my life
As this was...the ****...enormous

Verse 4
By my word-I feel-that this is it
Upon this toilet throne I sit
An overwhelming explosion from inside
With no place in my mind left to hide
As this was-unreal-yes, you can take my word,
The gigantic...****...enormous

Verse 5
And my goal it now seems in sight
I give it all with all my might
In a strange vision this very moment
As this an unreal bowel movement
And soon I feel:
Like the clear shaking in the earth
That as making n' breaking waves
I'm stunned and dazed
From taking...the ****...enormous

(Sang to the tune of "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel)
I own nothing. Enjoy!
...well, nothing accept the world 'size of **** taken' record.

#funny #goal #work #progress #unreal #joke #humor #waves

Alan S Bailey May 3

**** Like That

~**** SOUND~

The way it's smelling, I can't believe it-I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
I don't believe it-it's got my face turning a pale greenish-hue!
You know I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...

Verse 1
I think that the earth is shaking-I swear someone moves the breeze,
An' detonated a whole whopping ton of "Gaseous-TNT",
That **** was like a ghost in Ghost Busters,
It sneak up on you and you freakin' smell the
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
I turn around and think
What is this some kind of bad **** could seem,
Who ate that turkey sub sandwich with sharp mustard?
And then cut the cheese?
And do not think that this is the first time I or my friend here
"Duffy" made the birds "rush from the smell" to the trees!
For I, Triumph, am on a mission to escape this **** smell
In such a hurry-heading for the hills
-ABOUT TO PASS OUT........

The way it's smelling, I can't believe it-I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
I seek that face mask-like this is a smell emergency
Buddy, You know I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
Don't no one order the garlic liver with fried onion steak!
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...

Verse 2
The other day I was in gas station, some guy was getting gas
Had gotten "Carsick" and blamed me! But I knew the truth it was the car next to me,
I am not lying it came wafting through the breeze and it goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
I said, "MAN do I look like the "Houdini of farts?"
With fumes from some unknown specter of flatulence? When clearly,
It was you? What you think I should do? Don't look at me!
Make it so that everyone up in this gas station knows it wasn't me?
But you know the truth-it is a bag of chips I buy one for you please
Don't get so angry I didn't mean any harm, no need for one to yell,
You know you can't light a lighter or smoke? It's a law everyone knows
When there is so much gas you might just
**** (Phew-can't no one light a ****...!)

Chorus
The way it's smelling, I can't believe it-I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
Don't ya know that beans are a magical fruit?
I've never smelled a BIFF like that,
In the end we all can't escape the
noxious fumes of the
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...

On airplane flight I was minding my own business
When some dude let an "aero-**** fly" a guy looked
At me and said:
"Hey, what you think that this is, did superman
Himself let a PHLPH
As his cape lifted up from a gassy (?)
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
"You think that Triumph the puppet dog not super enough?
I think you are like kryptonite to me! You saying I had some
Thing humble apology I had to say? Don't you know there is no room to breath?
I clearly know better I see the sign when you need to pull out a bag
Because you airsick there are multiple usages, and you can use it
Like I have repeatedly to breath from a **** smell I didn't make!
I am just a puppet, not a ****-tion teller...!

Chorus
The way it's smelling, I can't believe it-I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
From the rear end, this isn't a whoopee cushion ****-
Can't pretend
That I've ever smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...

MAN!
It's got a life all it's own!

#smelly #funny #**** #humor #eminem #new #rendition

Alan S Bailey Mar 29

Society-The "Winning Side"

So you want to lead me, "us all," to the "truth,"
That there is no excuse and that every day
We need instantaneous "failure proof,"
But I know what you are, you can't hide.
You've taken so many to an early
Retirement already with your "sane" logic.
Please give me a moment so I can find out
What it's like to be on the
"Winning side,"
While I sit here, head reeling,
Strangers passing around at every turn on
This city street, completely and entirely aware
About it all and don't want to let you just
Simply pass for normal. It's like this feet that you must commit
To, I'm a victim of your shameless charade,
Lucky me, I am the bad one who has to get out of the car.
That every thing I have ever accomplished means
Absolutely nothing
-NO MATTER WHAT-
Simply because it isn't
Popular...

#winning #side #truth #reality #reeling #failure #different #sane #logic #popular